You Might Have Emophilia If You Fall in Love Too Quickly

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSigns and CharacteristicsUnderstanding the Causes of EmophiliaHow Emophilia Affects RelationshipsTake The Healthy Relationship QuizStrategies for Overcoming Emophilia

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Signs and Characteristics

Understanding the Causes of Emophilia

How Emophilia Affects Relationships

Take The Healthy Relationship Quiz

Strategies for Overcoming Emophilia

Close

We’ve all had those relationships where we feel swept up in the idea of someone new soon after meeting them. We might decide they are the one very quickly, or that we’vefallen in lovefaster than ever before. It is common for this to happen once or twice, but if you are someone who chases the rush of falling in love and frequently finds yourself in rapid romantic attachments, you may have emophilia.

Previously known as emotional promiscuity,emophilia is a condition where you fall in love quickly and easily. It might seem harmless at first glance, but the condition can actually have significant negative impact on your life.

Emophilia is not a pathology or diagnosable mental health condition but high levels can result in risky behaviors, emotional dysregulation, and tumultuous relationships. Let’s look at the signs and symptoms of emophilia, what causes it, and how you can navigate dating and relationships differently for more real, lasting, and sustainable connections.

At a GlanceEmophilia is the term for a person who falls in love too easily and/or often. This is a persistent trait that lasts across someone’s romantic relationships, not that happens just once.Signs of it are feeling like a new person is “the one” before you’ve gotten to know them and feeling like you fall in love quickly after meeting a new person.Therapy can help deal with this issue, as can taking time off from dating for internal reflection and to change your habits.

At a Glance

Emophilia is the term for a person who falls in love too easily and/or often. This is a persistent trait that lasts across someone’s romantic relationships, not that happens just once.Signs of it are feeling like a new person is “the one” before you’ve gotten to know them and feeling like you fall in love quickly after meeting a new person.Therapy can help deal with this issue, as can taking time off from dating for internal reflection and to change your habits.

Emophilia is the term for a person who falls in love too easily and/or often. This is a persistent trait that lasts across someone’s romantic relationships, not that happens just once.

Signs of it are feeling like a new person is “the one” before you’ve gotten to know them and feeling like you fall in love quickly after meeting a new person.

Therapy can help deal with this issue, as can taking time off from dating for internal reflection and to change your habits.

People with emophilia experience the sensation of being in love without the time or knowledge of another person that most of us need in order to have that feeling. They may think someone new is “the one” over and over again, from one person to the next.

So how does that present?Dr. Patrice Le Goysays that “signs that you may be experiencing emophilia is that you fall in love quickly and immediately become emotionally attached in your relationships before the other person has proven themselves worthy of your affection.”

Because you have strong feelings and attachment before taking the time to truly get to know someone, if you have emophilia then chances are you’ve found yourself falling in love prior to understanding who someone actually is and what they are really like.

“Symptoms of emophilia may include ignoring signs orred flagsthat your partner is toxic or not a good fit for you,” says Le Goy. This can be downright dangerous. She explains, “people who experience this may find that they end up with self-centered or evennarcissistic partnersbecause they are not taking the time to evaluate whether the relationship is healthy for them because they are too obsessed with the feeling of being in love and the idealized version of the person.” If you resonate with this in your life, emophilia may be something to consider.

Dr. Patrice Le GoySigns that you may be experiencing emophilia is that you fall in love quickly and immediately become emotionally attached in your relationships before the other person has proven themselves worthy of your affection.

Dr. Patrice Le Goy

Signs that you may be experiencing emophilia is that you fall in love quickly and immediately become emotionally attached in your relationships before the other person has proven themselves worthy of your affection.

Though people with emophilia don’t always engage in risky behavior, it is a common characteristic of the issue. “This person may also be more likely to engage in risky behavior, such as unprotected sex early in a relationship because of their belief that this person is ‘the one’ and that they are going to be together forever,” Le Goy tells us. Additionally, someone with emophilia might find themselves in a relationship situation that is hard to get out of, as they got in too deep too quickly. Falling in love before discovering that your new partner is dangerous in any way could pose huge risks to your life and wellness.

How Do You Know if It’s Love or Just Infatuation?

Emophilia may also be related to other personality traits, specifically what is known as theDark Triad. This is a combination of narcissism,Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. One study noted that “emophilia showed satisfactory discriminant validity (r< 00.40) against the personality traits included.” There is also the potential for people with emophila to not possess any of these traits and personality disorders, but be attracted to others with them.

As far as how common it is, that’s hard to say because there is no specific quantifiable test for it. “I think we all know people who seem to always be in love or have found “the one” and these people might be experiencing emophilia but it is likely on a spectrum and can be either somewhat harmless or very damaging to your personal emotional growth and relationships,” Le Goy tells us.

As you may suspect, emophilia can cause romantic relationships to be fraught with problems, and it can make someone jump from one relationship to the next at a high frequency.

The initial rush of feel-good chemicals may not last long enough to sustain a relationship long term, and someone who declared the other person “the one” right from the start might have a complex time getting out of the situation. And because so little screening was done before the relationships became serious, the other person could be problematic in ways that aren’t immediately obvious

Dr. Patrice Le Goy…people who experience this may find that they end up with self-centered or even narcissistic partners because they are not taking the time to evaluate whether the relationship is healthy for them because they are too obsessed with the feeling of being in love and the idealized version of the person.

…people who experience this may find that they end up with self-centered or even narcissistic partners because they are not taking the time to evaluate whether the relationship is healthy for them because they are too obsessed with the feeling of being in love and the idealized version of the person.

Without dealing with your emophilia, you can go through life falling in love with an endless stream of people, being stuck in unhealthy relationships, and/or never experiencing the depth possible to explore with someone you are truly on the same wavelength with.

Sometimes, it can be hard to tell how your relationship is going from inside of it. If you’re wondering how healthy your dynamic really is, take this free relationship quiz to find out:

It may be helpful to reflect and write out a list of the personalgreen flagsandred flagsof qualities you seek in a potential partner. What characteristics are wants or desires—like charisma and beauty—and what traits are non-negotiables anddealbreakers—like active addiction, dishonesty, cruelty, and abusiveness?

It may also be helpful to consider the feedback of trusted loved ones who are looking out for you and your well-being. Sometimes others can see things we can’t, especially for those with a history of emophilia.

It’s important to really get to know someone during the dating process. Be careful not to idealize someone you’ve just met or put them on a pedestal and observe if their actions are consistent over time.

Investing time, effort, and patience to learn about your patterns and areas for growth will support you in making choices aligned with your goals and values to build and sustain meaningful, real, and lasting relationships.

Bottom Line

As with any emotional issue, help is available for emophilia. Beginning the process of therapy to understand what causes your behaviors and how you can change them can be invaluable. You can choose to work with whatever type of therapist feels right for you; someone who specializes in relationships and/or attachment can be particularly useful.

Do You Know What Love Really Is?

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.D.N. JonesLife outcomes and relationship dispositions: The unique role of EmophiliaPersonality and Individual Differences (2015)Røed SE, Nærland RK, Strat M, Pallesen S, Erevik EK.Emophilia: psychometric properties of the emotional promiscuity scale and its association with personality traits, unfaithfulness, and romantic relationships in a Scandinavian sample.Front Psychol. 2024;15:1265247.Røed SE, Nærland RK, Strat M, Pallesen S, Erevik EK.Emophilia: psychometric properties of the emotional promiscuity scale and its association with personality traits, unfaithfulness, and romantic relationships in a Scandinavian sample.Front Psychol. 2024;15:1265247.

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.D.N. JonesLife outcomes and relationship dispositions: The unique role of EmophiliaPersonality and Individual Differences (2015)Røed SE, Nærland RK, Strat M, Pallesen S, Erevik EK.Emophilia: psychometric properties of the emotional promiscuity scale and its association with personality traits, unfaithfulness, and romantic relationships in a Scandinavian sample.Front Psychol. 2024;15:1265247.Røed SE, Nærland RK, Strat M, Pallesen S, Erevik EK.Emophilia: psychometric properties of the emotional promiscuity scale and its association with personality traits, unfaithfulness, and romantic relationships in a Scandinavian sample.Front Psychol. 2024;15:1265247.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

D.N. JonesLife outcomes and relationship dispositions: The unique role of EmophiliaPersonality and Individual Differences (2015)Røed SE, Nærland RK, Strat M, Pallesen S, Erevik EK.Emophilia: psychometric properties of the emotional promiscuity scale and its association with personality traits, unfaithfulness, and romantic relationships in a Scandinavian sample.Front Psychol. 2024;15:1265247.Røed SE, Nærland RK, Strat M, Pallesen S, Erevik EK.Emophilia: psychometric properties of the emotional promiscuity scale and its association with personality traits, unfaithfulness, and romantic relationships in a Scandinavian sample.Front Psychol. 2024;15:1265247.

D.N. JonesLife outcomes and relationship dispositions: The unique role of EmophiliaPersonality and Individual Differences (2015)

Røed SE, Nærland RK, Strat M, Pallesen S, Erevik EK.Emophilia: psychometric properties of the emotional promiscuity scale and its association with personality traits, unfaithfulness, and romantic relationships in a Scandinavian sample.Front Psychol. 2024;15:1265247.

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