Relationships where one partner has ADHDoften face unique challenges, such as difficulties with time management, task completion, and sustained attention during conversations.
These issues can manifest as missed appointments, unfinished household chores, or seemingly disinterested behavior during important discussions.
Such patterns often result in increased responsibilities for the non-ADHD partner, potentially causing frustration, resentment, and relationship strain.
The ADHD partner might feel misunderstood or inadequate, leading todecreased self-esteem.
Key Points
Rationale
The study aims to understand the broader impact of adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) on the family system, particularly on the well-being of spouses.
While previous research has documented the effects of ADHD on various functional domains (Brod et al., 2015; Kooij et al., 2019), there is a notable gap in knowledge concerning its impact on spouses’ well-being.
The socio-ecological model of health emphasizes the dynamic relationship between an individual’s health and their ecological contexts (Kilanowski, 2017), highlighting the importance of exploring the experiences of partners living with individuals diagnosed with ADHD.
What we know:
What’s the next step:
Method
The study employed adescriptive qualitative phenomenological approach. Semi-structured interviews were conducted with thirteen women without ADHD who were in relationships with partners diagnosed with ADHD.
The interviews were audio-recorded, transcribed verbatim, and translated from Hebrew to English. Data analysis followedBraun & Clarke’s (2006) six-phase process of reflexive thematic analysis.
Sample
Participants were thirteen women without ADHD diagnosis, in relationships with male partners diagnosed with ADHD.
Participants ranged in age from 25 to 58 years and had been in relationships with their ADHD partners for 2 to 32 years.
Results
The analysis yielded three primary themes:
ADHD in Everyday Life
Participants described their partners’ ADHD-related challenges, including emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and difficulties in managing day-to-day tasks.
For example, one participant stated, “It’s like it suddenly erupts out of nowhere. Some days he’s edgy, loses patience, and yells at the children” (P2).
Burden Experience
One participant expressed, “I have four children. I didn’t sign up for a fifth” (P3).
Women’s Coping Strategies
Participants developed various coping strategies, including gaining a deeper understanding of ADHD, setting boundaries, and cultivating partnership.
As one participant shared, “I’m learning to carve out time for myself. I realized that if I don’t, no one else will” (P12).
Insight and Depth
This study provides valuable insights into the lived experiences of women in relationships with partners diagnosed with ADHD.
It highlights the substantial burden these women face and the coping strategies they develop.
The research underscores the need to recognize these women as caregivers and a potentially vulnerable group at risk.
The study’s findings suggest that the impact of adult ADHD extends beyond the individual, significantly affecting family dynamics and partner well-being.
Strengths
This study had several methodological strengths, including:
Limitations
This study also had several methodological limitations, including:
Implications
The results of this study have significant implications for healthcare providers, policymakers, and researchers:
Conclusion
It underscores the importance of recognizing these women as caregivers and a potentially vulnerable group.
The findings highlight the need for a more comprehensive approach to adult ADHD treatment that considers the impact on partners and the family system.
Further research is needed to explore these experiences in more diverse populations, including different cultural contexts, male partners, and same-sex couples.
Additionally, longitudinal studies could provide insights into how these experiences and coping strategies evolve over time.
The complexity of living with a partner with ADHD is evident from this study. It reveals both challenges and resilience, highlighting the need for greater awareness, support, and interventions tailored to the unique needs of these couples.
By acknowledging and addressing these issues, we can work towards improving the quality of life for individuals with ADHD and their partners.
References
Primary reference
Zeides Taubin, D., & Maeir, A. (2024). “I wish it wasn’t all on me”: women’s experiences living with a partner with ADHD.Disability and Rehabilitation,46(14), 3017-3025.https://doi.org/10.1080/09638288.2023.2239158
Other references
Barkley, R. A., & Fischer, M. (2011). The unique contribution of emotional impulsiveness to impairment in major life activities in hyperactive children as adults.Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry,49(5), 503-513.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2010.01.019
Braun, V., & Clarke, V. (2006). Using thematic analysis in psychology.Qualitative research in psychology,3(2), 77-101.https://doi.org/10.1191/1478088706qp063oa
Brod, M., Schmitt, E., Goodwin, M., Hodgkins, P., & Niebler, G. (2012). ADHD burden of illness in older adults: a life course perspective.Quality of Life Research,21, 795-799.https://doi.org/10.1007/s11136-011-9981-9
Cormican, O., Meskell, P., & Dowling, M. (2022). Psychosocial vulnerability among carers of persons living with a chronic illness: A scoping review.International Journal of Nursing Practice,28(6), e13024.https://doi.org/10.1111/ijn.13024
Fayyad, J., Sampson, N. A., Hwang, I., Adamowski, T., Aguilar-Gaxiola, S., Al-Hamzawi, A., … & Kessler, R. C. (2017). The descriptive epidemiology of DSM-IV Adult ADHD in the World Health Organization World Mental Health Surveys.ADHD Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorders, 9(1), 47-65.
Kilanowski, J. F. (2017). Breadth of the socio-ecological model.Journal of agromedicine,22(4), 295-297.https://doi.org/10.1080/1059924X.2017.1358971
Kooij, J. J. S., Bijlenga, D., Salerno, L., Jaeschke, R., Bitter, I., Balazs, J., … & Asherson, P. (2019). Updated European Consensus Statement on diagnosis and treatment of adult ADHD.European psychiatry,56(1), 14-34.
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Saul McLeod, PhD
BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester
Saul McLeod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.
Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc
BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education
Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.
