The truth is thatself-esteemis made up; it’s a construction.

Unlike a part of our bodies or something in the natural environment, our belief in ourselves is not a real thing – it has no objective existence of its own. We can all agree on a person’s height, weight, or even on how fast he or she can walk a mile. But, there is no standardized way for us to objectively measure self-esteem.

We may think that a person with a successful career, who seems to be productive and wealthy, also has “high” self-esteem. But that may not be the case at all. Think about it, those who strive for superiority can be attempting to overcome deep-seated feelings of inferiority. And it’s very possible that their success is a way of compensating for their “low” self-esteem.

Here’s another example: Imagine a student who gets straight A’s year after year. Do you think the student’s achievements reflect his or her high self-esteem? Or do they indicate the student’s fear of punishment for not living up to a particular standard? Similarly, can the student’s grades be indicators of his or her competitiveness?

Difference Between High and Low Self-Esteems

People with low self-esteem can generally be characterized as:

Taking Control of Your Self-Esteem

In his classicParadise Lost,English poet John Milton stated, “The Mind is its own place and can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.” Which will you choose?

We are not born with high or low self-esteem, but we can decide to find value and meaning in our lives, regardless of our circumstances; we can choose to be kind, loving, and understanding towards others and ourselves. And we can most certainly choose to change in any way we see fit.

It’s our ability to make choices and decide on a course of action that gives us power, and that power makes us free from the opinions of other people, in-effect elevating our self-esteem.

Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.

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