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Mental Health HomepageConditions LibraryConditions CategoryConditions CategoryWhy You Still Feel Anxious When Life Is Going Well
Table of Contents:OverviewWhat is Happiness Anxiety?Why Do We Feel Anxious When Things Are Going Well?How to Cope with Happiness AnxietyManage Anxiety During Your Happiest Times
Anxiety DisorderRead Time: 5 Minutes
Published On: November 1, 2018
Reviewed On: November 1, 2018
Updated On: August 23, 2024
OverviewJust because you’re happy in life and nothing traumatic is going on doesn’t mean you can’t feel anxious. Even when life is good, it’s possible to have what’s known ashappiness anxiety. Experiencinganxiety when things are goingwell is more common than you might think. It can be confusing, though, because you’re “happy,” so why are you feeling anxious?It’s a common misconception that anxiety only occurs during stressful times. Anxiety doesn’t know your circumstances, and it doesn’t wait for the “right” time to creep in. Positive change, achievements, or anticipation of upcoming (even happy) events can alltrigger anxietysymptoms.Understanding this concept will help you learn to manage the perplexing experience of havinghappy anxiety.
Overview
Just because you’re happy in life and nothing traumatic is going on doesn’t mean you can’t feel anxious. Even when life is good, it’s possible to have what’s known ashappiness anxiety. Experiencinganxiety when things are goingwell is more common than you might think. It can be confusing, though, because you’re “happy,” so why are you feeling anxious?
It’s a common misconception that anxiety only occurs during stressful times. Anxiety doesn’t know your circumstances, and it doesn’t wait for the “right” time to creep in. Positive change, achievements, or anticipation of upcoming (even happy) events can alltrigger anxietysymptoms.
Understanding this concept will help you learn to manage the perplexing experience of havinghappy anxiety.
What is Happiness Anxiety?Happiness anxietyis precisely what it sounds like. It’s feeling anxious or uneasy during those stereotypical moments in life thatshouldbring joy and life satisfaction— you just got a promotion, you’re getting married, you’re about to graduate college, you bought your first home. In theory, all of these are positive life experiences that you’ve worked hard for and should be proud of. Yet, you feel anxiety.It’s important to note that the primary difference betweenhappiness anxietyand the more typical type is that — as the name implies — this form of anxiety doesn’t stem from things going wrong. Instead, it comes from a deep-seated fear that your good moments or positive experiences won’t last. Once you accept that these emotions can coexist, you can learn to masterhappiness anxiety,manage anxiety disorders, and enjoy what you’ve worked hard to achieve.There are many reasons why happiness might induce anxiety, and you need to figure out the root cause.
What is Happiness Anxiety?
Happiness anxietyis precisely what it sounds like. It’s feeling anxious or uneasy during those stereotypical moments in life thatshouldbring joy and life satisfaction— you just got a promotion, you’re getting married, you’re about to graduate college, you bought your first home. In theory, all of these are positive life experiences that you’ve worked hard for and should be proud of. Yet, you feel anxiety.
It’s important to note that the primary difference betweenhappiness anxietyand the more typical type is that — as the name implies — this form of anxiety doesn’t stem from things going wrong. Instead, it comes from a deep-seated fear that your good moments or positive experiences won’t last. Once you accept that these emotions can coexist, you can learn to masterhappiness anxiety,manage anxiety disorders, and enjoy what you’ve worked hard to achieve.
There are many reasons why happiness might induce anxiety, and you need to figure out the root cause.
Expert Insight
LMHC, LPC, CAM 2Famous Erwin
Why Do We Feel Anxious When Things Are Going Well?Although feeling anxious about being happy seems counterintuitive, it’s not uncommon. Emotions are complex and multi-faceted, so you won’t always have a linear response to the things you experience in life. Even something you want and work hard for can ultimately cause you anxiety.Understanding why you have nervous happy feelings can help you navigate them in a positive, healthy way. This will allow you to let go of the anxiety while still holding on to the happiness.Fear of losing happinessOne of the most common reasons for having anxiety when things are going well is the fear of losing something you enjoy.Your fear is likely rooted in an understanding that happiness can be fleeting, and good things don’t always last. Even the joy you feel about a new relationship, success in your career, or personal achievement can trigger anxiety if you’re waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop.Fear of failureBeyond the fear oflosinghappiness, many people have afear of failure. If you’re working toward or have recently achieved a life goal — professional or personal — it’s common to fear being unable to achieve or maintain that status. The possibility of not meeting expectations (your own or others) can stifle the joy you feel upon finding success.It’s anticlimacticThe saying about the grass not always being greener is true. It’s possible to be more excited about theideaof achieving something than you are after you reach your goal. If you’ve built something up in your mind but are disappointed about the reality once you get there, it’s normal to feel a sense of happiness anxiety.The arrival fallacyThe arrival fallacy occurs when you feel empty inside instead of happy after you achieve a goal. You likely assume that once you have a major accomplishment, your hard work will pay off, and you’ll experience joy — but sometimes the anticipation is bigger than the reward.Unrealistic or unhealthy expectationsAnxiety during happy moments in life might come from unrealistic or unhealthy expectations. It’s easy to convince yourself that attaining a certain level of success will result in perpetual happiness. In reality, though, nothing in life guarantees you’ll be happy all the time. It’s an unattainable, unrealistic, and unhealthy expectation you’re hoping to find. You can feel conflicted once you realize this.Comparing our happiness to othersSocial media makes it almost impossiblenotto compare your life to others. Most of the time, the snippet, snapshot, or image you’re seeing is no more than a half-truth. People post and share what they want others to see, not the whole truth of their experiences. Focusing on the success and happiness of other people present can make your achievements feel less significant.When you perceive others as more happy, successful, or content in life, it can cause anxiety, despite everything you’ve achieved on your own.Research showsthat the happiest people don’t compare themselves to others.Lack of purpose after achieving a goalAccomplishing a major goal should be satisfying, but sometimes, it can cause a sense of loss instead of fulfillment. This might happen if you attach your identity and purpose to pursuing and finding success. The void that’s left once you’ve reached a certain point in life can foster anxiety.
Why Do We Feel Anxious When Things Are Going Well?
Although feeling anxious about being happy seems counterintuitive, it’s not uncommon. Emotions are complex and multi-faceted, so you won’t always have a linear response to the things you experience in life. Even something you want and work hard for can ultimately cause you anxiety.
Understanding why you have nervous happy feelings can help you navigate them in a positive, healthy way. This will allow you to let go of the anxiety while still holding on to the happiness.
Fear of losing happiness
One of the most common reasons for having anxiety when things are going well is the fear of losing something you enjoy.
Your fear is likely rooted in an understanding that happiness can be fleeting, and good things don’t always last. Even the joy you feel about a new relationship, success in your career, or personal achievement can trigger anxiety if you’re waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop.
Fear of failure
Beyond the fear oflosinghappiness, many people have afear of failure. If you’re working toward or have recently achieved a life goal — professional or personal — it’s common to fear being unable to achieve or maintain that status. The possibility of not meeting expectations (your own or others) can stifle the joy you feel upon finding success.
It’s anticlimactic
The saying about the grass not always being greener is true. It’s possible to be more excited about theideaof achieving something than you are after you reach your goal. If you’ve built something up in your mind but are disappointed about the reality once you get there, it’s normal to feel a sense of happiness anxiety.
The arrival fallacy
The arrival fallacy occurs when you feel empty inside instead of happy after you achieve a goal. You likely assume that once you have a major accomplishment, your hard work will pay off, and you’ll experience joy — but sometimes the anticipation is bigger than the reward.
Unrealistic or unhealthy expectations
Anxiety during happy moments in life might come from unrealistic or unhealthy expectations. It’s easy to convince yourself that attaining a certain level of success will result in perpetual happiness. In reality, though, nothing in life guarantees you’ll be happy all the time. It’s an unattainable, unrealistic, and unhealthy expectation you’re hoping to find. You can feel conflicted once you realize this.
Comparing our happiness to others
Social media makes it almost impossiblenotto compare your life to others. Most of the time, the snippet, snapshot, or image you’re seeing is no more than a half-truth. People post and share what they want others to see, not the whole truth of their experiences. Focusing on the success and happiness of other people present can make your achievements feel less significant.
When you perceive others as more happy, successful, or content in life, it can cause anxiety, despite everything you’ve achieved on your own.Research showsthat the happiest people don’t compare themselves to others.
Lack of purpose after achieving a goal
Accomplishing a major goal should be satisfying, but sometimes, it can cause a sense of loss instead of fulfillment. This might happen if you attach your identity and purpose to pursuing and finding success. The void that’s left once you’ve reached a certain point in life can foster anxiety.
How to Cope with Happiness Anxiety
Happiness anxiety can be exhausting. You might not understand your feelings, and you may even feel guilty or frustrated about why you can’t accept the good in your life. It’s possible to want success but still feel happy anxiety after you find it. The phenomenon is real, and if you don’t learn healthy ways to cope, it can steal the joy from some of life’s most incredible moments. Fortunately, there are effective ways to manage this form of anxiety.
Engage in self-care
Self-careis essential to maintaining balance and happiness in life. Practicing self-care means being intentional in caring for your physical, mental, and emotional health. It becomes even more crucial if you’re anxious when things are going well. Dedicating time to self-care reinforces the idea that you’re worthy and deserve good things in life.
Tips for practicing self-care:
Practice mindfulness
Tips for practicing mindfulness:
Lean on support
Having a solid support system ensures you have a safe space to share your feelings and get helpful guidance. A supportive network can play a significant role in your ability to overcome happiness anxiety.
Tips for finding support:
Challenge negative thoughts
Negative thoughts can quickly become embedded beliefs — even when they’re untrue or unhealthy. Believing you don’t have the right to be happy or that your happiness is at risk is detrimental to your mental health, which is why challenging negative thought patterns is so critical.
Tips on challenging negative thought patterns:
Get professional help
If happiness anxiety is impacting your life and overall sense of well-being, it might be time to seek professional help withtherapy for anxiety. A therapist can show you effective coping tools to overcome the burden of feeling like you can’t accept happiness in your life.
Tips on getting professional help:
Manage Anxiety During Your Happiest TimesManaging the anxiety you feel during happy times can be challenging, but it’s essential if you want to embrace and enjoy success. There are many things you can do to overcomehappiness anxiety, including prioritizing self-care, practicing mindfulness, and seeking professional help.If you feelanxiety when things are going welland want help breaking theanxiety cycle, Talkspace can be a resource where you’ll discoveranxiety coping skillsthat allow you to manage your daily life during the good times and the difficult periods. Talkspace is an online platform that simplifies the process of finding therapy. It provides a flexible, convenient, accessible way to gain support and learn effective techniques for overcoming anxiety. Reach out to Talkspace today to learn more about online treatment for anxiety.
Manage Anxiety During Your Happiest Times
Managing the anxiety you feel during happy times can be challenging, but it’s essential if you want to embrace and enjoy success. There are many things you can do to overcomehappiness anxiety, including prioritizing self-care, practicing mindfulness, and seeking professional help.
If you feelanxiety when things are going welland want help breaking theanxiety cycle, Talkspace can be a resource where you’ll discoveranxiety coping skillsthat allow you to manage your daily life during the good times and the difficult periods. Talkspace is an online platform that simplifies the process of finding therapy. It provides a flexible, convenient, accessible way to gain support and learn effective techniques for overcoming anxiety. Reach out to Talkspace today to learn more about online treatment for anxiety.
See ReferencesHappy People Does Not Compare : Difference in Social Comparison between Happy and Unhappy PeopleAsia-Pacific Journal of Convergent Research Interchange. 2019;5(3). doi:10.21742/apjcri.2019.09.03. Accessed June 17, 2024.Mindfulness-Based Interventions for Anxiety and DepressionHofmann SG, Gómez AF. Psychiatric Clinics of North America/the Psychiatric Clinics of North America. 2017;40(4):739-749. doi:10.1016/j.psc.2017.08.008. Accessed June 17, 2024.Cognitive-Behavioral Treatments for Anxiety and Stress-Related DisordersCurtiss JE, Levine DS, Ander I, Baker AW. Focus/Focus (American Psychiatric Publishing Online). 2021;19(2):184-189. doi:10.1176/appi.focus.20200045. Accessed June 17, 2024.
See References
Asia-Pacific Journal of Convergent Research Interchange. 2019;5(3). doi:10.21742/apjcri.2019.09.03. Accessed June 17, 2024.
Hofmann SG, Gómez AF. Psychiatric Clinics of North America/the Psychiatric Clinics of North America. 2017;40(4):739-749. doi:10.1016/j.psc.2017.08.008. Accessed June 17, 2024.
Curtiss JE, Levine DS, Ander I, Baker AW. Focus/Focus (American Psychiatric Publishing Online). 2021;19(2):184-189. doi:10.1176/appi.focus.20200045. Accessed June 17, 2024.
Famous ErwinFamous Erwin is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with over 15 years of counseling experience. He is licensed in the states of Florida, Georgia, and Idaho. Famous is a team member of theTalkspace Council of Mental Health Experts. Famous loves working as a therapist on the talkspace platform. At Talkspace, Everyday is exciting because he has an opportunity to do what he loves and that’s helping people overcome life’s challenges through effective life skills and coping skills. Famous has a passion for working with men. Traditionally, men don’t seek counseling so as a male therapist, Famous ensures the men that he works with that counseling is a safe place to be vulnerable.
Famous Erwin is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with over 15 years of counseling experience. He is licensed in the states of Florida, Georgia, and Idaho. Famous is a team member of theTalkspace Council of Mental Health Experts. Famous loves working as a therapist on the talkspace platform. At Talkspace, Everyday is exciting because he has an opportunity to do what he loves and that’s helping people overcome life’s challenges through effective life skills and coping skills. Famous has a passion for working with men. Traditionally, men don’t seek counseling so as a male therapist, Famous ensures the men that he works with that counseling is a safe place to be vulnerable.
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