Why You May Have Trust Issues and How to Overcome Them

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy Trust MattersSigns of Trust IssuesTypes of Trust IssuesCauses of DistrustOvercoming Trust IssuesLearn to Trust Yourself

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Why Trust Matters

Signs of Trust Issues

Types of Trust Issues

Causes of Distrust

Overcoming Trust Issues

Learn to Trust Yourself

Close

Trust is a critical part of any relationship.Without trust—especially trust between two romantic partners—it is difficult to have ahealthy, long-lasting relationship. People who have experienced some type of betrayal, such as unfaithfulness in a relationship, may develop trust issues that can interfere with future relationships.

Trust issues can manifest in a variety of ways. For example, a person who finds it difficult to trust may not believe what other people say. They may feel suspicious of what others want from them and may question other people’s intentions and motivations. It makes it incredibly difficult to develop an intimate, close connection with another person.

This article discusses trust issues, including the signs that you might have problems with trust and what causes a lack of faith in other people. It also covers some of the steps that you can take to overcome problems with trust.

Why Trust Issues Are Harmful

Trust has a number of benefits that are important for the health of your relationships as well as your own emotional well-being. Trust allows you to:

Trust is important in relationships because it allows you the opportunity to relax, be yourself, and depend on another person. It provides you with the safety and security you need to turn to another person for comfort, reassurance, assistance, and affection.

Trust is thebelief that another person is honestand reliable. It is a feeling that you can depend on that person because they offer safety and security. Trust has been described as a firm belief in the ability, strength, reliability, and truth of someone or something.

There are a number of different behaviors that might indicate that you or your partner have a problem with trusting others. Some of these include:

When trust interferes with your ability to form healthy, stable relationships, it can also leave you feeling isolated, lonely, and misunderstood.

Trust problems don’t just affect your romantic relationships. They can create conflict and poor communication in any type of relationship, whether it is with your friends, co-workers, or other family members.

RecapProblems with trust can take a toll in many different areas of your life. It can make your romantic relationships more fraught, interfere with your ability to maintain friendships, and contribute to conflict in the workplace.

Recap

Problems with trust can take a toll in many different areas of your life. It can make your romantic relationships more fraught, interfere with your ability to maintain friendships, and contribute to conflict in the workplace.

What Causes Trust Issues?

People often have trust issues because they have been betrayed in the past. Early childhood experiences, in particular, play a major role in shaping your ability to trust the people around you.

Psychologist Erik Erikson developed atheory of developmentthat suggested that the earliest years of life are all about learning whether the people around you could be trusted with your care and safety. Whether you learn thistrust or mistrust, he suggested, plays a foundational role in future development.

This means that trust issues could stem from any number of sources, including:

Having one or more of these types of trust problems does not necessarily mean that you have a problem with trust. But it may indicate that you need to address these issues if they are causing you pain or preventing you from forming ormaintaining interpersonal relationships.

How to Overcome Trust Issues

While it can be a challenging emotional undertaking, it is possible to overcome problems with trust. Here are a fewtrust-building strategiesyou can use:

Build Trust Slowly

It is important to trust people enough to allow them into your life and, in some cases, to forgive them for their mistakes. Taking your time with it can sometimes help. If you find yourself trying to trust too quickly (and perhaps, too intensely), it may be time to pull back and work up to that level of trust again.

Talk About Your Trust Issues

While you don’t need to provide every detail about what happened to you in the past, being open about why you struggle with trust can help others understand you better. Bycommunicating with your partner, they can be more aware of how their actions might be interpreted.

Distinguish Between Trust and Control

People with trust issues often feela need for control. This can sometimes manifest as mistrusting behavior. You might feel like you are being betrayed or taken advantage of if you don’t have complete control over every situation.

However, this will only hurt your relationships in the long run. Learning how much control you should yield in a given situation is key to building trust with other people.

Make Trust a Priority

Trusting others can be difficult, but trust-building is an essential part of any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Make trust a priority in your life—even if it’s challenging to do.

Be Trustworthy

If you try to build trust with someone else, you have to be willing to trust them first. This means being open about your feelings, opinions, thoughts, and limits.

It also means being understanding when the person breaks that trust because everyone makes mistakes. Learning how to balance these two ideas will help establish healthy interpersonal relationships that are based on trust.

Consider Therapy

Therapy can also be helpful for overcoming trust issues. Thetherapeutic alliance that you form with your therapistcan be a powerful tool for learning how to trust other people.

By working with an experienced mental health professional, you can learn more about why you struggle with trust and learn new coping skills that will help you start to rebuild trust in your relationships.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

One of the best ways to practice trust is to trust yourself. This doesn’t mean you should never question yourself or your choices. It just means that you shouldbuild a stronger self-awarenessthat can help guide your judgments and interactions with others.

Practicing mindfulnessis one strategy that can be helpful. When you utilize mindfulness, you are able to become more aware of how you are feeling in the present moment without worrying about the past and future.

RecapThere are many things that you can do to overcome trust issues. Starting slow, communicating your needs, trying therapy, and learning to trust yourself can help.

There are many things that you can do to overcome trust issues. Starting slow, communicating your needs, trying therapy, and learning to trust yourself can help.

A Word From Verywell

Having trust issues can be difficult, but trust-building is an essential part of any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Make trust a priority in your life—even if it’s challenging to do.

If you try to build trust with someone else, you have to trust yourself first. This means being open about your feelings, opinions, thoughts, and limits. It also means being understanding when the other person makes mistakes.

Learning how to balance these two ideas will help establish healthy interpersonal relationships that are based on trust, respect, and care.

7 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Wilkins CH.Effective engagement requires trust and being trustworthy.Med Care. 2018;56(10 Suppl 1):S6-S8. doi:10.1097/MLR.0000000000000953Arikewuyo AO, Eluwole KK, Özad B.Influence of lack of trust on romantic relationship problems: the mediating role of partner cell phone snooping.Psychol Rep. 2021;124(1):348-365. doi:10.1177/0033294119899902Thoresen S, Blix I, Wentzel-Larsen T, Birkeland MS.Trusting others during a pandemic: investigating potential changes in generalized trust and its relationship with pandemic-related experiences and worry.Front Psychol. 2021;12:698519. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.698519Van Lange PAM.Generalized trust: four lessons from genetics and culture.Curr Dir Psychol Sci. 2015;24(1):71-76. doi:10.1177/0963721414552473Reimann M, Schilke O, Cook KS.Trust is heritable, whereas distrust is not.Proc Natl Acad Sci. 2017;114(27):7007-7012. doi:10.1073/pnas.1617132114American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR).Rodriguez LM, DiBello AM, Øverup CS, Neighbors C.The price of distrust: trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse.Partner Abuse. 2015;6(3):298-319. doi:10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298

7 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Wilkins CH.Effective engagement requires trust and being trustworthy.Med Care. 2018;56(10 Suppl 1):S6-S8. doi:10.1097/MLR.0000000000000953Arikewuyo AO, Eluwole KK, Özad B.Influence of lack of trust on romantic relationship problems: the mediating role of partner cell phone snooping.Psychol Rep. 2021;124(1):348-365. doi:10.1177/0033294119899902Thoresen S, Blix I, Wentzel-Larsen T, Birkeland MS.Trusting others during a pandemic: investigating potential changes in generalized trust and its relationship with pandemic-related experiences and worry.Front Psychol. 2021;12:698519. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.698519Van Lange PAM.Generalized trust: four lessons from genetics and culture.Curr Dir Psychol Sci. 2015;24(1):71-76. doi:10.1177/0963721414552473Reimann M, Schilke O, Cook KS.Trust is heritable, whereas distrust is not.Proc Natl Acad Sci. 2017;114(27):7007-7012. doi:10.1073/pnas.1617132114American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR).Rodriguez LM, DiBello AM, Øverup CS, Neighbors C.The price of distrust: trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse.Partner Abuse. 2015;6(3):298-319. doi:10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Wilkins CH.Effective engagement requires trust and being trustworthy.Med Care. 2018;56(10 Suppl 1):S6-S8. doi:10.1097/MLR.0000000000000953Arikewuyo AO, Eluwole KK, Özad B.Influence of lack of trust on romantic relationship problems: the mediating role of partner cell phone snooping.Psychol Rep. 2021;124(1):348-365. doi:10.1177/0033294119899902Thoresen S, Blix I, Wentzel-Larsen T, Birkeland MS.Trusting others during a pandemic: investigating potential changes in generalized trust and its relationship with pandemic-related experiences and worry.Front Psychol. 2021;12:698519. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.698519Van Lange PAM.Generalized trust: four lessons from genetics and culture.Curr Dir Psychol Sci. 2015;24(1):71-76. doi:10.1177/0963721414552473Reimann M, Schilke O, Cook KS.Trust is heritable, whereas distrust is not.Proc Natl Acad Sci. 2017;114(27):7007-7012. doi:10.1073/pnas.1617132114American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR).Rodriguez LM, DiBello AM, Øverup CS, Neighbors C.The price of distrust: trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse.Partner Abuse. 2015;6(3):298-319. doi:10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298

Wilkins CH.Effective engagement requires trust and being trustworthy.Med Care. 2018;56(10 Suppl 1):S6-S8. doi:10.1097/MLR.0000000000000953

Arikewuyo AO, Eluwole KK, Özad B.Influence of lack of trust on romantic relationship problems: the mediating role of partner cell phone snooping.Psychol Rep. 2021;124(1):348-365. doi:10.1177/0033294119899902

Thoresen S, Blix I, Wentzel-Larsen T, Birkeland MS.Trusting others during a pandemic: investigating potential changes in generalized trust and its relationship with pandemic-related experiences and worry.Front Psychol. 2021;12:698519. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.698519

Van Lange PAM.Generalized trust: four lessons from genetics and culture.Curr Dir Psychol Sci. 2015;24(1):71-76. doi:10.1177/0963721414552473

Reimann M, Schilke O, Cook KS.Trust is heritable, whereas distrust is not.Proc Natl Acad Sci. 2017;114(27):7007-7012. doi:10.1073/pnas.1617132114

American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR).

Rodriguez LM, DiBello AM, Øverup CS, Neighbors C.The price of distrust: trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse.Partner Abuse. 2015;6(3):298-319. doi:10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298

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