Why You Feel Like You Need a Hug From Someone

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWire Mother ExperimentHugs Reduce StressHugs From Strangers vs. Loved OnesHugs Increase Well-BeingHugs and Personal ConflictHugs Boost Immune ResponseGive Yourself a HugKeep in Mind

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Wire Mother Experiment

Hugs Reduce Stress

Hugs From Strangers vs. Loved Ones

Hugs Increase Well-Being

Hugs and Personal Conflict

Hugs Boost Immune Response

Give Yourself a Hug

Keep in Mind

Close

If you ever find yourself thinking, “I want a hug,” there are good reasons why. Hugging has a relaxing and soothing effect on people. Hugs are actually good for your health and science shows why hugs and touch are therapeutic.

At a GlanceIn his famous and controversial experiments, psychologists Harry Harlow revealed just how important physical contact is for mental wellness. Hugs not only reduce stress, they also help increase happiness, boost immunity, reduce conflict, and improve overall well-being.

At a Glance

In his famous and controversial experiments, psychologists Harry Harlow revealed just how important physical contact is for mental wellness. Hugs not only reduce stress, they also help increase happiness, boost immunity, reduce conflict, and improve overall well-being.

Research on the Psychology of Hugs

PsychologistHarry Harlowdesigned a study in which he took rhesus monkeys from their biological mothers. He then offered two choices to the young monkeys. One choice was a terrycloth surrogate mother who gave no food; the other choice was a wire mother who provided food.

When you feel a need to be hugged, you want that same “contact comfort.”

It’s the same type of comfort the monkeys in Harlow’s experiment craved. It’s the same sort of comfort that infants want from their caregivers. It’s physically and emotionally crucial for an infant’s psychological development.

As adults, getting that hug or tactile stimulation from someone we care about gives us a sense of closeness and well-being.

What Is Haphephobia?

Hugs Reduce Stress and Increase Happiness

Not everyone likes to be hugged or touched in the same way. But generally, positive physical contact can effectively reduce your stress level and boost your mood. Feelings of loneliness and experiencing chronic stress can ultimately be harmful.

Hugs lowercortisol, which is sometimes called “the stress hormone,” in your body. Hugs even lower blood pressure and heart rate.

At the same time, a wonderful hug from a family member or friend will also bolsterneurotransmitterssuch as dopamine in your system.Dopamineis sometimes called the “happiness hormone.”

Hugs are one form of positive physical contact. Other forms include:Holding handsBeing strokedSnugglingGetting therapeuticmassages

Hugs are one form of positive physical contact. Other forms include:

Nurturing touch during the early years helps our younger selves regulate emotions. With high levels of loving hugs and physical contact, babies and toddlers develop in a healthy manner.

Hugs From Strangers and Loved Ones

Could hugs from a stranger even have positive benefits? In a study published in a recent issue ofComprehensive Psychoneuroendocrinology, self-soothing touch and being hugged showed positive results even when strangers hugged. Hugs reduced cortisol responses to stress and had calming effects.

Hugs and touch acted as a type of social signal for safety. They reduced fear and stress and gave participants a sense that all was well. Scientists consider self-soothing touches and hugs to be potentially powerful ways to cushion an individual from stress andbuild resilience.

Physical Touch as a Love Language: What it Means

Being hugged uplifts our mood.  If you are feeling isolated or are going through a rough time, a hug releasesendorphins.Endorphins are the body’s natural pain relievers. These neurotransmitters increase our feelings of pleasure.

The release of endorphins is commonly associated with the after-effects of vigorous exercise. But endorphins kick in through a variety of ways. They are the happiness boosters that move us away from pain to pleasure.

While it seems to be just a simple, loving gesture from a loved one, hugging also increases our level ofoxytocin, the “cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin helps us bond with others and reduces the stress hormone, norepinephrine.

While hugging a family member or partner when we get home may seem like a small thing, healthy touch is like the glue that connects us. It underpins our physical, psychological, and emotional well-being. Hugs actually enhance our relationships and bonding with others.

Our bonding with others is sometimes subject to conflict. Hugs even help us during interpersonal conflict. In a recent study, scientists interviewed 404 adults every night for 14 consecutive days specifically about “their conflicts, hug receipt, andpositive and negative affect.”

The study’s results aligned with its hypothesis that hugs buffer against harmful changes in our emotions when we experience interpersonal conflict. Surprisingly, the effects lasted even through the next day.

A hug on a day of conflict with someone makes us feel good. But the mere act of hugging actually improved the next day negative affect (i.e., your emotions).

Can being hugged and hugging others affect our susceptibility to infectious disease? Yes, according to scientists.

Because hugs lower our stress, they seem to carry a feeling ofsocial support.

In this recent study regarding upper respiratory infection, researchers examined the roles of perceived social support and received hugs in protecting us from stress-induced susceptibility to infectious disease.Researchers exposed participants to a virus that causes a common cold. They then monitored participants in quarantine to assess for signs of infection and illness.

They found that “among infected participants, greater perceived support and more-frequent hugs each predicted less-severe illness signs.”

Can You Give Yourself a Hug?

If your goal is to reduce the sense of touch hunger, hugging, self-stroking and massaging are excellent activities to accomplish that.

Here are 6 suggested ways toself-soothe:

The skin is the largest organ in our body. Sensitive to external stimulation, you can calm yourself and increase your sense of well-being through the power of hugging and self-hugging.

Physical contact is essential for well-being, which is why you might think, “I want a hug” (especially if you are feeling stressed, lonely, or in need of extra support). Getting a hug from a loved one or your partner can be a great source of relief, but even hugs from other people can have wellness-boosting benefits.

You don’t need to wait for someone else to offer a hug; consider asking a friend or other person in your life for a hug, or even try hugging yourself. Self-soothing can be an important emotional regulation tool, so embracing yourself, rubbing your arms, or massaging your temples can be a way to benefit from physical touch.

Can Cuddle Therapy Really Help Me Stop Feeling So Lonely?

7 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Dreisoerner A, Junker NM, Schlotz W, et al.Self-soothing touch and being hugged reduce cortisol responses to stress: A randomized controlled trial on stress, physical touch, and social identity.Compr Psychoneuroendocrinol. 2021;8:100091. doi:10.1016/j.cpnec.2021.100091

Eckstein M, Mamaev I, Ditzen B, Sailer U.Calming effects of touch in human, animal, and robotic interaction-scientific state-of-the-art and technical advances.Front Psychiatry. 2020;11:555058. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2020.555058

Romney CE, Arroyo AC, Robles TF, Zawadzki MJ.Hugs and cortisol awakening response the next day: An ecological momentary assessment study.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023;20(7):5340. doi:10.3390/ijerph20075340

Haynes AC, Lywood A, Crowe EM, Fielding JL, Rossiter JM, Kent C.A calming hug: Design and validation of a tactile aid to ease anxiety.PLoS One. 2022;17(3):e0259838. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0259838

Murphy MLM, Janicki-Deverts D, Cohen S.Receiving a hug is associated with the attenuation of negative mood that occurs on days with interpersonal conflict.PLoS One. 2018;13(10):e0203522. Published 2018 Oct 3. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0203522

Cohen S, Janicki-Deverts D, Turner RB, Doyle WJ.Does hugging provide stress-buffering social support? A study of susceptibility to upper respiratory infection and illness.Psychol Sci. 2015;26(2):135-147. doi:10.1177/0956797614559284

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