Why the First Year of Marriage Is So Important

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsImportancePrioritiesIf You’re StrugglingFAQs

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Importance

Priorities

If You’re Struggling

FAQs

Along with newlywed bliss can come some ups and downs. In fact, it’s pretty normal to hit rough patches in the first two years of marriage, but don’t panic. By understanding some of the transitions and roadblocks you may experience in early marriage, you and your partner can work together to build a strong foundation for years to come.

Why the First Year of Marriage Matters

The first year of marriage can feel like the hardest because it is full of changes and adjustments as you and your partner adapt to your new roles. Yet how you handle this period of adjustment is crucial to the longevity of your marriage, say researchers.

The same study also found that couples who divorced within the first two years showed signs of disillusionment and werenegative toward one anotherin the first 2 months of their marriage. The couples who were still happily married were couples who were able to have positive feelings about their spouses during this early period in their relationship.

More recent research shows that newlyweds may be more prone to dissatisfaction due to unrealistic expectations or the level of what they experience versus what they expected in terms of marriage. Common unexpected adjustments include:

One study found that newlywed couples who tend to estimate that their happiness levels will rise (or at least stay the same) within the first four years of marriage are actually more likely to experience a decline in happiness over time.

Divorce is also common within the early years of marriage due to the transition itself into marriage and parenthood, especially among couples high in neuroticism who have been shown to have lower overall levels of satisfaction in their marriage.

Red Flags in Early MarriageAddictions and/or substance abuseEmotional and/or physical abuseFear of conflictInability to have fun togetherLack of respectLack of romance and intimacyMarried too young or for the wrong reasonsOver-commitment of time to other thingsOver-spendingSelfishnessSexual problemsToo much dependence on parentsUnrealistic expectations

Red Flags in Early Marriage

Addictions and/or substance abuseEmotional and/or physical abuseFear of conflictInability to have fun togetherLack of respectLack of romance and intimacyMarried too young or for the wrong reasonsOver-commitment of time to other thingsOver-spendingSelfishnessSexual problemsToo much dependence on parentsUnrealistic expectations

Priorities in the First Year of Marriage

If you find yourself a bit depressed after your wedding, it’s okay. Honeymoon blues are normal. You have both been caught up in time-consuming wedding preparations.

It is a sure bet that once you don’t have that stress to deal with, you will have a sense of loss. It’s similar to the post-holiday letdown that many people experience. However, it is important to not ignore this period of depression.

Being prepared for the newlywed blues can help you get past them. It’s time to move on to setting the marital stage for the rest of your lives together.

In addition to keeping the romance alive, there are other priorities a couple will need to face as well.

Unfortunately, many couples avoid topics that may become heated. But doing so will do a disservice to your union.

What to Do If You’re Struggling During Your First Year of Marriage

From there, you can figure out what marriage support options might be a good fit for you both. It could be setting aside time to read and discuss self-help books, seeking guidance from a house of worship or other trusted source, enrolling in a marriage education class, or pursuingcouples' therapy.It’s also important to:

The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested

Frequently Asked Questions About the First Year of Marriage

Why is the first year of marriage so hard?

There are a variety of reasons that the first year of marriage can be hard, however, it is often due to the many transitions and unexpected adjustments that come with your new role and responsibilities.

What should you expect in the first year of marriage?

The first year of marriage is, of course, unique for each couple. While everyone may expect the first year of marriage to be nothing but wedded bliss, you’ll also likely experience some ups and downs as you learn to navigate your new life and new roles.

What do you learn in your first year of marriage?

Again, everyone’s experience in marriage is different. However, for many couples, the first year of marriage is a time when you can learn a lot about yourself and your spouse. The learning comes from working together to manage finances, divide chores, understand differences, handle conflicts, set boundaries, manage expectations, and more.

How many couples divorce in the first year of marriage?

What are realistic goals for the first year of marriage?

Defining your marriage goals is ultimately up to you and your partner. Whatever they may be, however, it’s important that they are clearly defined and realistic for you to work on together as a team.

A Word From Verywell

Although the first couple of years of a marriage are said to be the most difficult, they are often remembered as the most joyous. They can be a tremendous time of intimacy and discovery.

There is so much to learn about each other and so much to express to one another. During the newlywed stage, you can build the foundation for a life-long, meaningful partnership. So enjoy and romance one another.

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Huston T.What’s love got to do with it? Why some marriages succeed and others fail.Pers Relatsh. 2009;16(3):301-327. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2009.01225.xHall SS, Adams R.Newlyweds’ unexpected adjustments to marriage.Fam Consum Sci Res J. 2011;39(4):375-387. doi:10.1111/j.1552-3934.2011.02076.xLavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Newlyweds’ optimistic forecasts of their marriage: For better or for worse?.J Fam Psychol. 2013;27(4):531-540. doi:10.1037/a0033423Sayehmiri K, Kareem KI, Abdi K, Dalvand S, Gheshlagh RG.The relationship between personality traits and marital satisfaction: a systematic review and meta-analysis.BMC Psychol. 2020;8(1):15. doi:10.1186/s40359-020-0383-zTwenge JM, Sherman RA, Wells BE.Declines in sexual frequency among American adults, 1989-2014.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(8):2389-2401. doi:10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1Karney B.Keeping marriages healthy, and why it’s so difficult.Psychological Science Agenda: Science Briefs. American Psychological Association.Hewison D, Casey P, Mwamba N.The effectiveness of couple therapy: Clinical outcomes in a naturalistic United Kingdom setting.Psychotherapy. 2016;53(4):377-387. doi:10.1037/pst0000098Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. National Survey of Family Growth.Divorce and marital disruption.

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Huston T.What’s love got to do with it? Why some marriages succeed and others fail.Pers Relatsh. 2009;16(3):301-327. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2009.01225.xHall SS, Adams R.Newlyweds’ unexpected adjustments to marriage.Fam Consum Sci Res J. 2011;39(4):375-387. doi:10.1111/j.1552-3934.2011.02076.xLavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Newlyweds’ optimistic forecasts of their marriage: For better or for worse?.J Fam Psychol. 2013;27(4):531-540. doi:10.1037/a0033423Sayehmiri K, Kareem KI, Abdi K, Dalvand S, Gheshlagh RG.The relationship between personality traits and marital satisfaction: a systematic review and meta-analysis.BMC Psychol. 2020;8(1):15. doi:10.1186/s40359-020-0383-zTwenge JM, Sherman RA, Wells BE.Declines in sexual frequency among American adults, 1989-2014.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(8):2389-2401. doi:10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1Karney B.Keeping marriages healthy, and why it’s so difficult.Psychological Science Agenda: Science Briefs. American Psychological Association.Hewison D, Casey P, Mwamba N.The effectiveness of couple therapy: Clinical outcomes in a naturalistic United Kingdom setting.Psychotherapy. 2016;53(4):377-387. doi:10.1037/pst0000098Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. National Survey of Family Growth.Divorce and marital disruption.

Huston T.What’s love got to do with it? Why some marriages succeed and others fail.Pers Relatsh. 2009;16(3):301-327. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2009.01225.xHall SS, Adams R.Newlyweds’ unexpected adjustments to marriage.Fam Consum Sci Res J. 2011;39(4):375-387. doi:10.1111/j.1552-3934.2011.02076.xLavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Newlyweds’ optimistic forecasts of their marriage: For better or for worse?.J Fam Psychol. 2013;27(4):531-540. doi:10.1037/a0033423Sayehmiri K, Kareem KI, Abdi K, Dalvand S, Gheshlagh RG.The relationship between personality traits and marital satisfaction: a systematic review and meta-analysis.BMC Psychol. 2020;8(1):15. doi:10.1186/s40359-020-0383-zTwenge JM, Sherman RA, Wells BE.Declines in sexual frequency among American adults, 1989-2014.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(8):2389-2401. doi:10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1Karney B.Keeping marriages healthy, and why it’s so difficult.Psychological Science Agenda: Science Briefs. American Psychological Association.Hewison D, Casey P, Mwamba N.The effectiveness of couple therapy: Clinical outcomes in a naturalistic United Kingdom setting.Psychotherapy. 2016;53(4):377-387. doi:10.1037/pst0000098Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. National Survey of Family Growth.Divorce and marital disruption.

Huston T.What’s love got to do with it? Why some marriages succeed and others fail.Pers Relatsh. 2009;16(3):301-327. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2009.01225.x

Hall SS, Adams R.Newlyweds’ unexpected adjustments to marriage.Fam Consum Sci Res J. 2011;39(4):375-387. doi:10.1111/j.1552-3934.2011.02076.x

Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Newlyweds’ optimistic forecasts of their marriage: For better or for worse?.J Fam Psychol. 2013;27(4):531-540. doi:10.1037/a0033423

Sayehmiri K, Kareem KI, Abdi K, Dalvand S, Gheshlagh RG.The relationship between personality traits and marital satisfaction: a systematic review and meta-analysis.BMC Psychol. 2020;8(1):15. doi:10.1186/s40359-020-0383-z

Twenge JM, Sherman RA, Wells BE.Declines in sexual frequency among American adults, 1989-2014.Arch Sex Behav. 2017;46(8):2389-2401. doi:10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1

Karney B.Keeping marriages healthy, and why it’s so difficult.Psychological Science Agenda: Science Briefs. American Psychological Association.

Hewison D, Casey P, Mwamba N.The effectiveness of couple therapy: Clinical outcomes in a naturalistic United Kingdom setting.Psychotherapy. 2016;53(4):377-387. doi:10.1037/pst0000098

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. National Survey of Family Growth.Divorce and marital disruption.

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?

Why the First Year of Marriage Matters#

Red Flags in Early Marriage#

Priorities in the First Year of Marriage#

What to Do If You’re Struggling During Your First Year of Marriage#

Frequently Asked Questions About the First Year of Marriage#

Why is the first year of marriage so hard?#

What should you expect in the first year of marriage?#

What do you learn in your first year of marriage?#

How many couples divorce in the first year of marriage?#

What are realistic goals for the first year of marriage?#

A Word From Verywell#