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Sexual aftercare is the practice of caring for your partner(s) after sex. It can involve anything from showering together to cuddling and talking; it’s all about what makes everyone feel cared for and nurtured after engaging in sexual intimacy.

In the past, society has primarily been focused on the before and during of sex: Thinkforeplayand enthusiasticconsent. In recent years, however, the inclusion of what happens after the act of sex has also become a focal point. Because of that, we’ve seen a rise in people discussing the “after” of sex, too.

Anyone who has sex can benefit from practicing sexual aftercare. Ahead, we’ll discuss more about what this practice is, what actions it may include, and why it’s important.

What is Sexual Aftercare?

“Just as people now recognize that foreplay plays an important role to help both partners become aroused and transition from daily life into sex, there is a growing awareness that sexual aftercare can help your mind and body re-regulate themselves,” says Ratush. “Aftercare refers to a variety of behaviors after sex; it can be time spent cuddling, talking and taking care of your partner. The variation is broad because the intention of the care is to meet the partners’ need(s) in the moment,” he adds.

Aftercare can enhance feelings of security afterintimacy, as it can be seen as a continuation of activities that enable our partners to feel close, connected, and respected. During sex, endorphins and feel-good hormones including oxyticn can be released, activating pleasure centers in the brain. Aftercare can help regulate how you feel and how your body responds as those chemicals dissipate. People, especially men, can be prone to depression after having sex,so taking care of your partner and seeing that their emotional needs are met may help prevent that. Intimacy, connection, and closeness do not have to end after an orgasm.

What Does Sexual Aftercare Include?

Sexual aftercare includes any activity that helps a person feel grounded and relaxed after having sex. These include, but are not limited to:

Before engaging in any aftercare activities, you can check in with your partner about the kinds of aftercare that would feel good for them. Communication and consent about desired activities after sex is important, just as consent for sex itself is. Openly communicating with your partner(s) about the amount of time you have available to spend together, as well as the activities you’re interested in, can occur after sex, or can be discussed beforehand so everyone is prepared.

If you and your partner(s) are more spontaneous, it may make sense to decide on aftercare in the moment. If you are the type who likes to plan days out ahead of time, you may benefit from planning aftercare in advance.

Why Communication In Relationships Is So Important

Why is Aftercare Important?

If you haven’t practiced sexual aftercare before, you might not think it’s a big deal, or something you need to be doing. But it has many health benefits, and since it’s tailored to the individual, everyone can find a way to enjoy it.

“Sexual aftercare is important whether you’re in a committed relationship or not,” Ratush tells us. He says, “the mind is incredibly vulnerable after sexual intercourse, and aftercare maintains respect between both parties and safeguards the emotional safety and security for both partners—critical factors in a positive relationship with sex.”

Aftercare can create a bridge between our intimate world and the “regular” one we’re a part of the rest of the time. “After sex of even the lowest intensity, putting aside some time to reset can help both partners manage a more positive return to regular activities,” says Ratush. This means that not only does it help us be close to one another, it also enables us to go back to our normal lives more seamlessly after a sexual encounter.

Preventing negative emotions

How to get the most out of aftercare?

Sexual aftercare can be fluid, and what it involves can change over time, even with the same partner(s). Communication about what each party wants to engage in is always key, as is consent around those activities. To get the most out of sexual aftercare, it is integral to understand your partner and their changing needs.

There’s no right or wrong way to practice aftercare. If you and your partner(s) feel cared for, you’re doing it correctly. Ratush suggests you “make sure that your partner’s needs are met after sex and communicate what you need to feel comfortable.” Even if sexual aftercare hasn’t been a part of your intimate life before, you have all the tools you need to begin engaging in emotionally healthy practice.

The Importance of Foreplay in Your Relationship

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Muise A, Giang E, Impett EA.Post sex affectionate exchanges promote sexual and relationship satisfaction.Arch Sex Behav. 2014 Oct 1;43(7):1391–402.Maczkowiack J, Schweitzer RD.Postcoital dysphoria: prevalence and correlates among males.Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. 2019 Feb 17;45(2):128–40.

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Muise A, Giang E, Impett EA.Post sex affectionate exchanges promote sexual and relationship satisfaction.Arch Sex Behav. 2014 Oct 1;43(7):1391–402.Maczkowiack J, Schweitzer RD.Postcoital dysphoria: prevalence and correlates among males.Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. 2019 Feb 17;45(2):128–40.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Muise A, Giang E, Impett EA.Post sex affectionate exchanges promote sexual and relationship satisfaction.Arch Sex Behav. 2014 Oct 1;43(7):1391–402.Maczkowiack J, Schweitzer RD.Postcoital dysphoria: prevalence and correlates among males.Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. 2019 Feb 17;45(2):128–40.

Muise A, Giang E, Impett EA.Post sex affectionate exchanges promote sexual and relationship satisfaction.Arch Sex Behav. 2014 Oct 1;43(7):1391–402.

Maczkowiack J, Schweitzer RD.Postcoital dysphoria: prevalence and correlates among males.Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. 2019 Feb 17;45(2):128–40.

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