Why Emotional Sobriety Is a Critical Part of Your Recovery Journey

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Is Emotional Sobriety?BenefitsHow to Develop Emotional SobrietyChallengesResources

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What Is Emotional Sobriety?

Benefits

How to Develop Emotional Sobriety

Challenges

Resources

“Emotional sobriety is considered one of the benefits of working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, but more generally speaking, it’s being at peace with your authentic feelings, sharing them openly when appropriate, and managing them so that they don’t control you,” she says.

That may sound daunting, especially if you or a loved one are also in the midst of the physically taxing part of recovery. But emotional sobriety is important—and don’t just trust our word for it. Ahead, experts explain why emotional sobriety is beneficial, how to develop it, what the barriers can be, and how to maintain it for the long haul.

Understanding Emotional Sobriety

Wait, what is emotional sobriety, again?Nick Padlo, the CEO of Sophros Recovery who came to his work after undergoing his own experiences in recovery, says emotional sobriety is “our ability to have balance and healthy coping skills when life gets hard.”

He continues, adding that “beyond just abstinence from substances, we also have to be able to deal with the ebbs and flows of life. Otherwise, we’ll go back to our drug of choice in the end.”

While the discourse around emotional sobriety is keyed on preventing relapse, Padlo connects his time in active addiction with the opposite of emotional sobriety, piling his emotions down deeper and deeper until they had nowhere to go but out.

“For many years, I ignored emotions and suppressed emotions, and I was prone to [being] what we would refer to as an emotional volcano, where you ignore your emotions for so long [until] you can’t anymore,” he says. “You have kind of this overwhelm of emotions, and they all eventually rush up. And, for me, I coped with those challenges through the use of drugs and alcohol.”

How to Deal With Dysregulation

The Benefits of Emotional Sobriety

There is a broad spectrum of benefits to emotional sobriety, whether you are in active addiction, in recovery, or are just seeking new ways to approach your mental health. Practicing emotional sobriety can help someone build healthy communication, acknowledge the active role in their life, create boundaries, and become more emotionally attuned, saysCaroline Sahba, LPC-S, the associate director of the counseling and mental health center at TCU.

Researchers have found that those with substance use disorders tend to be emotionally dysregulated.By working on your emotional sobriety and developing the tools to understand yourself and others, your recovery and relationships are benefitted.Plus, understanding and processing your emotions without the barrier of substances is an added benefit in the long run.

Developing Emotional Sobriety

There are many ways to develop your emotional sobriety. For Padlo, he practiced mindfulness and chose to spend three months studying yoga full-time. This helped him cultivate the innate ability to feel, process, and redirect his emotions, which aided his recovery. Even if mindfulness is your forte, other expert-recommended strategies can help you develop sobriety. Some practices include:

Padlo adds that having a solid body and mind routine helps tremendously with his recovery journey.

“I’ve noticed that if I stop going to meetings, stop talking to my sponsor, stop doing the things that keep me healthy, I start to lose my ability to regulate emotions in a healthy way,” he says. “And conversely, when I’m doing those things, I have much more control over that.”

Overcoming Emotional Sobriety Challenges

Much like with a person’s physical sobriety, maintaining emotional sobriety is not a one-time experience. Sahba says that, from her prior work experience, she’s seen social pressures that can knock one’s emotional sobriety off-course.

Most of thesepressures stem from social relationshipswith peers and a fear of rejection. “Wanting to seek approval from others and being willing to sacrifice emotional sobriety or their own like sanity to please others,” she notes.

Sahba adds that some of her clients in long-term recovery say that physical sobriety turned out to be the easier part of the equation. “Knowing how to communicate with other people, knowing how to set healthy boundaries, knowing how to take care of myself mentally and emotionally,” is more of a challenge, she notes.

What Is Conformity?

Relationships Help With Maintaining Emotional Sobriety

On the other hand, Kennedy recommends leaning into relationships to maintain emotional sobriety over time.

“Once you have done the work to achieve it, maintaining it requires practice sharing your feelings with others, tuning into your own emotional need, and even asking others for feedback on how you are doing,” she says. The ultimate goal is to operate from a more peaceful emotional state, so you can cope with whatever life throws your way.

Resources for Emotional Sobriety

There is a wide variety of resources available related to emotional sobriety, including:

If you or a loved one are struggling with substance use or addiction, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Conclusion

Sobriety, however you choose to approach it, is never just about your ability to avoid your substance(s) of choice. Part of recovery—a key part—is understanding your emotional sobriety. Although the concept of emotional sobriety stems from Alcoholics Anonymous, it resonates with all who are looking for a more emotionally regulated life, whether they’ve dealt with substance abuse disorders or not.

What Happens When You Stop Drinking Alcohol?

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Stellern J, Xiao KB, Grennell E, Sanches M, Gowin JL, Sloan ME.Emotion regulation in substance use disorders: a systematic review and meta‐analysis.Addiction. 2023;118(1):30-47. doi:10.1111/add.16001Snoek A, McGeer V, Brandenburg D, Kennett J.Managing shame and guilt in addiction: A pathway to recovery.Addictive Behaviors. 2021;120:106954. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2021.106954Yang XY, Yang NB, Huang FF, Ren S, Li ZJ.Effectiveness of acupuncture on anxiety disorder: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials.Ann Gen Psychiatry. 2021;20(1):9. doi:10.1186/s12991-021-00327-5

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Stellern J, Xiao KB, Grennell E, Sanches M, Gowin JL, Sloan ME.Emotion regulation in substance use disorders: a systematic review and meta‐analysis.Addiction. 2023;118(1):30-47. doi:10.1111/add.16001Snoek A, McGeer V, Brandenburg D, Kennett J.Managing shame and guilt in addiction: A pathway to recovery.Addictive Behaviors. 2021;120:106954. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2021.106954Yang XY, Yang NB, Huang FF, Ren S, Li ZJ.Effectiveness of acupuncture on anxiety disorder: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials.Ann Gen Psychiatry. 2021;20(1):9. doi:10.1186/s12991-021-00327-5

Stellern J, Xiao KB, Grennell E, Sanches M, Gowin JL, Sloan ME.Emotion regulation in substance use disorders: a systematic review and meta‐analysis.Addiction. 2023;118(1):30-47. doi:10.1111/add.16001Snoek A, McGeer V, Brandenburg D, Kennett J.Managing shame and guilt in addiction: A pathway to recovery.Addictive Behaviors. 2021;120:106954. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2021.106954Yang XY, Yang NB, Huang FF, Ren S, Li ZJ.Effectiveness of acupuncture on anxiety disorder: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials.Ann Gen Psychiatry. 2021;20(1):9. doi:10.1186/s12991-021-00327-5

Snoek A, McGeer V, Brandenburg D, Kennett J.Managing shame and guilt in addiction: A pathway to recovery.Addictive Behaviors. 2021;120:106954. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2021.106954

Yang XY, Yang NB, Huang FF, Ren S, Li ZJ.Effectiveness of acupuncture on anxiety disorder: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials.Ann Gen Psychiatry. 2021;20(1):9. doi:10.1186/s12991-021-00327-5

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Understanding Emotional Sobriety#

The Benefits of Emotional Sobriety#

Developing Emotional Sobriety#

Overcoming Emotional Sobriety Challenges#

Relationships Help With Maintaining Emotional Sobriety#

Resources for Emotional Sobriety#

Conclusion#