My husband and I welcomed our little girl, Neda, into the world in September, and it was truly the best day of our lives. In the thick of the newborn haze, we were emotional and overwhelmed in many ways, but there’s a particular scene from the hospital I’ll never forget.
What we were experiencing — on top of exhaustion — was a phenomenon called “cute aggression.” And, thankfully, it’s totally normal.
Your Brain on Cuteness
It’s slightly hard to wrap our heads around the fact we could experience aggression toward someone we loved so much. To better understand our brains’ reaction, Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings explained, “This negative response comes from greater activity in the brain’s emotional system as well as in the reward system, since the last one regulates wanting feelings, motivation, and pleasure.”
According to Catchings, cute aggression is our brain’s way of coping with the response that happens when these two powerful systems are triggered. In other words, our brain mixes in a bit of aggression after experiencing the positive feelings, so both emotions can regulate each other and we can keep our ability to care for or provide to those whom we care about.
Nuances of Cute Aggression
Cute aggression was first described in this2015 study, and since then psychologists have been curious about the sentiment’s behavioral underpinnings. According to Catchings, this kind of aggression comes out more for certain things. For example, it is proven that it is felt more often when dealing with kittens than with senior cats, with puppies more than with older dogs, and with babies more than with older children.
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