Why Can't I Cry Even Though I'm Sad?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsCausesWhy We Need to CryHow to Cry If You Want to

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Causes

Why We Need to Cry

How to Cry If You Want to

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If you’ve ever felt like you were bottling up your emotions, you might have wondered, ‘Why can’t I cry?’ Feeling like you can’t cry can stem from factors including depression, personality, medications, medical conditions, trauma, and social expectations.

You might feel unable to cry even when you’re sad, anxious, or in pain. Not being able to cry when you want to or feel like you should can feel confusing and distressing.

While crying can sometimes be unsettling, it can also have important emotional benefits. Research shows that crying can help you release emotions instressful or distressing situations. It can even help you physically clean your eyes out and help you communicate feelings.

However, there are some circumstances in which people can have difficulty crying. Read on to understand why you can’t cry even when you are sad and what you can do about it.

Why Can’t I Cry: Possible Explanations

You might wonder, ‘Why can’t I cry?’ for several reasons. First, you should understand that you are not alone and, in most cases, there’s nothing to worry about. There are physical, emotional, and psychiatric reasons why crying may be affected.

Here are some common reasons why people find themselves unable to cry.

Medical Conditions

Certain medical conditions simply make it physically difficult or impossible for you to shed tears. Conditions like dry eye syndrome physically impact the production or release of tears from your tear ducts.

Medications

Being on certain medications can reduce or stop your ability to produce tears. One study showed that 46% of people who use antidepressants experience blunted emotions.These medications can help relieve symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other conditions, but they can also sometimes affect how people experience and express emotions.

Case reports suggest that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), in particular, are associated with this inability to cry when sad, highlighting the role of the serotonergic system in expressing emotions.

Certain other medications may affect tear production and contribute to dry eyes. Medications that can impact tear production include:

Other substances, including alcohol and cannabis, can lead to dry eyes. Some herbal supplements, including echinacea, kava, and niacin, can contribute to dry eyes.

Climate

If you once found it easy to cry and are now finding it difficult because you relocated, it might be because you moved to a drier climate. While it’s not the most common phenomenon, living in an arid environment may cause your tears to dry up even before you realize it. Your body is also more likely to produce fewer tears.

Windy conditions can also affect the production and evaporation of tears. According to the American Optometric Association, this can lead to the reduction of normal tear production and cause eye dryness, which makes it more difficult to produce tears.

Surgery

If you’ve had eye surgery, you could experience difficulty crying. Laser-assisted in situ keratomileuses (LASIK) is a surgical procedure used to help people with vision problems improve their eyesight. One of the side effects just after the surgery is dry eye, making it difficult for you to cry.

Mental Health Conditions

While some people might find themselves crying more due to living with mental health conditions like depression and anxiety, others find that they become unable to cry. Conditions such aspost-traumatic stress disorderandmajor depressive disordercan sometimes cause you to feel muted emotions that might prevent you from crying.

While it might seem like depression would lead to more crying since it can cause feelings of sadness, many people experience feelings of emptiness or apathy. This can affect how a person experiences and expresses their emotions, making crying more difficult.

Emotional Repression and Suppression

People deal with emotions in different ways. While some people have a very expressive style, others are more subdued, repressed, or find it hard to express their feelings, including crying. And some people may intentionally suppress their emotions to avoid revealing what they are feeling.

Research suggests that suppressing your emotional expression can have adverse health effects. Behaviorally, suppressing emotions can contribute to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Physiologically, it can lead to higher stress levels. Evidence indicates that this emotional suppression increases the risk of an earlier death.

Abuse

Survivingemotional and physical abusecan have a negative impact on the way you process emotions. One of these is learning not to cry, especially in situations where crying has spurred further abuse from abusers in the past. Abuse survivors also sometimes experience numbed or muted emotions.

People who experience abuse and trauma may use emotional numbing as a way to disconnect from pain and distress.While this can provide temporary relief, it can make it difficult for people to connect with what they are feeling, which can make it difficult to cry.

Societal Expectations

Certain societal and cultural standards sometimes ascribe shame to crying. Gender stereotypes can also play a role here. Hearing statements like “boys shouldn’t cry” or “crying is a sign of weakness” often makes boys grow up thinking that it’s wrong to cry.

The Dangerous Effects of Toxic Masculinity

Crying is a healthy way to express your emotions, and can help you feel a sense of relief in stressful, sad, or anxious situations. Crying also has a myriad of physical and psychological benefits. Some of them include:

How Accepting Difficult Emotions Can Improve Emotional Health

Being unable to cry isn’t necessarily a problem. Some people have honed healthy ways to feel and process emotions of sadness without crying. However, if you are concerned about your inability to cry and are looking for ways to fix that, here are a couple of tips to consider:

Find a Safe Space

Sometimes, you might not be crying because you don’t feel like you’ve found a safe enough space for it. This can be any place where you feel comfortable and free to be your authentic self free from fear, stigma, and judgment.

For starters, you can consider crying alone or finding a private place to cry when you feel the emotions rising.

Consider Therapy

You might often not cry because you lack the tools to handle your emotions properly.Therapycan help with this. A therapist can guide you as you explore and learn about your feelings and emotional defenses that may inhibit your ability to cry more freely.

By working with a therapist, people can become more mindful and aware of their emotions.In addition to becoming more in tune with their feelings, a therapist can help people learn skills that will help them tolerate emotional distress rather than trying to repress or suppress it.

Therapy can also be a powerful tool for improving emotional regulation, which can help people better understand and manage their emotional experiences.

Lean On Your Support System

Sometimes, you might not cry because you keep your emotions bottled up and do not share them with your support system. Confiding in loved ones about your emotional struggles may allow you to feel less alone and better able to share your emotions and tears.

Research has found that when people feel that others have helped and supported them, they tend to feel better after they cried.

Why Vulnerability in Relationships Is So Important

A Word From Verywell

Crying is a natural expression of emotion that might not come easily to everyone. If it doesn’t come easily to you, that doesn’t mean you don’t have emotions or are not healthily expressing them. Many reasons beyond your control could make it difficult to cry. However, if you feel there is something getting in the way of necessary tears, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional.

18 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Gračanin A, Bylsma LM, Vingerhoets AJJM.Is crying a self-soothing behavior?Front Psychol. 2014;5. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00502Cleveland Clinic.Dry eyes: symptoms, causes & treatment options.American Optometric Association.Dry eye.Goodwin GM, Price J, De Bodinat C, Laredo J.Emotional blunting with antidepressant treatments: A survey among depressed patients.Journal of Affective Disorders. 2017;221:31-35. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2017.05.048Holguín-Lew JC, Bell V. “When I want to cry I can’t”: Inability to cry following SSRI treatment.Rev Colomb Psiquiatr. 2013;42(4):304-310. doi:10.1016/S0034-7450(13)70026-XFraunfelder FT, Sciubba JJ, Mathers WD.Corrigendum to “The Role of Medications in Causing Dry Eye”.J Ophthalmol. 2019;2019:2989680. Published 2019 Mar 4. doi:10.1155/2019/2989680Kuiken CG, Vanderpool E.How systemic drugs trigger dry eye disease.Review of Optometry; 2022.Shtein RM.Post-LASIK dry eye.Expert Review of Ophthalmology. 2011;6(5):575-582. doi:10.1586/eop.11.56Steer RA.Self-reported inability to cry as a symptom of anhedonic depression in outpatients with a major depressive disorder.Psychol Rep. 2011 Jun;108(3):874-82. doi:10.2466/02.09.13.15.PR0.108.3.874-882Chapman BP, Fiscella K, Kawachi I, Duberstein P, Muennig P.Emotion suppression and mortality risk over a 12-year follow-up.J Psychosom Res. 2013;75(4):381-385. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychores.2013.07.014Duek O, Seidemann R, Pietrzak RH, Harpaz-Rotem I.Distinguishing emotional numbing symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder from major depressive disorder.J Affect Disord. 2023;324:294-299. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2022.12.105Sharman LS, Dingle GA, Baker M, et al.The relationship of gender roles and beliefs to crying in an international sample.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2288. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02288Harvard Health.Is crying good for you?Vingerhoets AJ, van de Ven N, van der Velden Y.The social impact of emotional tears.Motiv Emot. 2016;40:455-463. doi:10.1007/s11031-016-9543-0Hesdorffer DC, Vingerhoets AJJM, Trimble MR.Social and psychological consequences of not crying: possible associations with psychopathology and therapeutic relevance.CNS Spectr. 2018;23(6):414-422. doi:10.1017/S1092852917000141American Academy of Ophthalmology.Facts about tears.Feliu-Soler A, Pascual JC, Borràs X, Portella MJ, Martín-Blanco A, Armario A, Alvarez E, Pérez V, Soler J.Effects of dialectical behaviour therapy-mindfulness training on emotional reactivity in borderline personality disorder: Preliminary results.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2014;21(4):363-70. doi:10.1002/cpp.1837Goodman M, Carpenter D, Tang CY, et al.Dialectical behavior therapy alters emotion regulation and amygdala activity in patients with borderline personality disorder.J Psychiatr Res. 2014;57:108-116. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2014.06.020

18 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Gračanin A, Bylsma LM, Vingerhoets AJJM.Is crying a self-soothing behavior?Front Psychol. 2014;5. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00502Cleveland Clinic.Dry eyes: symptoms, causes & treatment options.American Optometric Association.Dry eye.Goodwin GM, Price J, De Bodinat C, Laredo J.Emotional blunting with antidepressant treatments: A survey among depressed patients.Journal of Affective Disorders. 2017;221:31-35. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2017.05.048Holguín-Lew JC, Bell V. “When I want to cry I can’t”: Inability to cry following SSRI treatment.Rev Colomb Psiquiatr. 2013;42(4):304-310. doi:10.1016/S0034-7450(13)70026-XFraunfelder FT, Sciubba JJ, Mathers WD.Corrigendum to “The Role of Medications in Causing Dry Eye”.J Ophthalmol. 2019;2019:2989680. Published 2019 Mar 4. doi:10.1155/2019/2989680Kuiken CG, Vanderpool E.How systemic drugs trigger dry eye disease.Review of Optometry; 2022.Shtein RM.Post-LASIK dry eye.Expert Review of Ophthalmology. 2011;6(5):575-582. doi:10.1586/eop.11.56Steer RA.Self-reported inability to cry as a symptom of anhedonic depression in outpatients with a major depressive disorder.Psychol Rep. 2011 Jun;108(3):874-82. doi:10.2466/02.09.13.15.PR0.108.3.874-882Chapman BP, Fiscella K, Kawachi I, Duberstein P, Muennig P.Emotion suppression and mortality risk over a 12-year follow-up.J Psychosom Res. 2013;75(4):381-385. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychores.2013.07.014Duek O, Seidemann R, Pietrzak RH, Harpaz-Rotem I.Distinguishing emotional numbing symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder from major depressive disorder.J Affect Disord. 2023;324:294-299. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2022.12.105Sharman LS, Dingle GA, Baker M, et al.The relationship of gender roles and beliefs to crying in an international sample.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2288. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02288Harvard Health.Is crying good for you?Vingerhoets AJ, van de Ven N, van der Velden Y.The social impact of emotional tears.Motiv Emot. 2016;40:455-463. doi:10.1007/s11031-016-9543-0Hesdorffer DC, Vingerhoets AJJM, Trimble MR.Social and psychological consequences of not crying: possible associations with psychopathology and therapeutic relevance.CNS Spectr. 2018;23(6):414-422. doi:10.1017/S1092852917000141American Academy of Ophthalmology.Facts about tears.Feliu-Soler A, Pascual JC, Borràs X, Portella MJ, Martín-Blanco A, Armario A, Alvarez E, Pérez V, Soler J.Effects of dialectical behaviour therapy-mindfulness training on emotional reactivity in borderline personality disorder: Preliminary results.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2014;21(4):363-70. doi:10.1002/cpp.1837Goodman M, Carpenter D, Tang CY, et al.Dialectical behavior therapy alters emotion regulation and amygdala activity in patients with borderline personality disorder.J Psychiatr Res. 2014;57:108-116. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2014.06.020

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Gračanin A, Bylsma LM, Vingerhoets AJJM.Is crying a self-soothing behavior?Front Psychol. 2014;5. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00502Cleveland Clinic.Dry eyes: symptoms, causes & treatment options.American Optometric Association.Dry eye.Goodwin GM, Price J, De Bodinat C, Laredo J.Emotional blunting with antidepressant treatments: A survey among depressed patients.Journal of Affective Disorders. 2017;221:31-35. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2017.05.048Holguín-Lew JC, Bell V. “When I want to cry I can’t”: Inability to cry following SSRI treatment.Rev Colomb Psiquiatr. 2013;42(4):304-310. doi:10.1016/S0034-7450(13)70026-XFraunfelder FT, Sciubba JJ, Mathers WD.Corrigendum to “The Role of Medications in Causing Dry Eye”.J Ophthalmol. 2019;2019:2989680. Published 2019 Mar 4. doi:10.1155/2019/2989680Kuiken CG, Vanderpool E.How systemic drugs trigger dry eye disease.Review of Optometry; 2022.Shtein RM.Post-LASIK dry eye.Expert Review of Ophthalmology. 2011;6(5):575-582. doi:10.1586/eop.11.56Steer RA.Self-reported inability to cry as a symptom of anhedonic depression in outpatients with a major depressive disorder.Psychol Rep. 2011 Jun;108(3):874-82. doi:10.2466/02.09.13.15.PR0.108.3.874-882Chapman BP, Fiscella K, Kawachi I, Duberstein P, Muennig P.Emotion suppression and mortality risk over a 12-year follow-up.J Psychosom Res. 2013;75(4):381-385. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychores.2013.07.014Duek O, Seidemann R, Pietrzak RH, Harpaz-Rotem I.Distinguishing emotional numbing symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder from major depressive disorder.J Affect Disord. 2023;324:294-299. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2022.12.105Sharman LS, Dingle GA, Baker M, et al.The relationship of gender roles and beliefs to crying in an international sample.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2288. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02288Harvard Health.Is crying good for you?Vingerhoets AJ, van de Ven N, van der Velden Y.The social impact of emotional tears.Motiv Emot. 2016;40:455-463. doi:10.1007/s11031-016-9543-0Hesdorffer DC, Vingerhoets AJJM, Trimble MR.Social and psychological consequences of not crying: possible associations with psychopathology and therapeutic relevance.CNS Spectr. 2018;23(6):414-422. doi:10.1017/S1092852917000141American Academy of Ophthalmology.Facts about tears.Feliu-Soler A, Pascual JC, Borràs X, Portella MJ, Martín-Blanco A, Armario A, Alvarez E, Pérez V, Soler J.Effects of dialectical behaviour therapy-mindfulness training on emotional reactivity in borderline personality disorder: Preliminary results.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2014;21(4):363-70. doi:10.1002/cpp.1837Goodman M, Carpenter D, Tang CY, et al.Dialectical behavior therapy alters emotion regulation and amygdala activity in patients with borderline personality disorder.J Psychiatr Res. 2014;57:108-116. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2014.06.020

Gračanin A, Bylsma LM, Vingerhoets AJJM.Is crying a self-soothing behavior?Front Psychol. 2014;5. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00502

Cleveland Clinic.Dry eyes: symptoms, causes & treatment options.

American Optometric Association.Dry eye.

Goodwin GM, Price J, De Bodinat C, Laredo J.Emotional blunting with antidepressant treatments: A survey among depressed patients.Journal of Affective Disorders. 2017;221:31-35. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2017.05.048

Holguín-Lew JC, Bell V. “When I want to cry I can’t”: Inability to cry following SSRI treatment.Rev Colomb Psiquiatr. 2013;42(4):304-310. doi:10.1016/S0034-7450(13)70026-X

Fraunfelder FT, Sciubba JJ, Mathers WD.Corrigendum to “The Role of Medications in Causing Dry Eye”.J Ophthalmol. 2019;2019:2989680. Published 2019 Mar 4. doi:10.1155/2019/2989680

Kuiken CG, Vanderpool E.How systemic drugs trigger dry eye disease.Review of Optometry; 2022.

Shtein RM.Post-LASIK dry eye.Expert Review of Ophthalmology. 2011;6(5):575-582. doi:10.1586/eop.11.56

Steer RA.Self-reported inability to cry as a symptom of anhedonic depression in outpatients with a major depressive disorder.Psychol Rep. 2011 Jun;108(3):874-82. doi:10.2466/02.09.13.15.PR0.108.3.874-882

Chapman BP, Fiscella K, Kawachi I, Duberstein P, Muennig P.Emotion suppression and mortality risk over a 12-year follow-up.J Psychosom Res. 2013;75(4):381-385. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychores.2013.07.014

Duek O, Seidemann R, Pietrzak RH, Harpaz-Rotem I.Distinguishing emotional numbing symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder from major depressive disorder.J Affect Disord. 2023;324:294-299. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2022.12.105

Sharman LS, Dingle GA, Baker M, et al.The relationship of gender roles and beliefs to crying in an international sample.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2288. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02288

Harvard Health.Is crying good for you?

Vingerhoets AJ, van de Ven N, van der Velden Y.The social impact of emotional tears.Motiv Emot. 2016;40:455-463. doi:10.1007/s11031-016-9543-0

Hesdorffer DC, Vingerhoets AJJM, Trimble MR.Social and psychological consequences of not crying: possible associations with psychopathology and therapeutic relevance.CNS Spectr. 2018;23(6):414-422. doi:10.1017/S1092852917000141

American Academy of Ophthalmology.Facts about tears.

Feliu-Soler A, Pascual JC, Borràs X, Portella MJ, Martín-Blanco A, Armario A, Alvarez E, Pérez V, Soler J.Effects of dialectical behaviour therapy-mindfulness training on emotional reactivity in borderline personality disorder: Preliminary results.Clin Psychol Psychother. 2014;21(4):363-70. doi:10.1002/cpp.1837

Goodman M, Carpenter D, Tang CY, et al.Dialectical behavior therapy alters emotion regulation and amygdala activity in patients with borderline personality disorder.J Psychiatr Res. 2014;57:108-116. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2014.06.020

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