Why Am I So Insecure? Causes and Coping Strategies

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsUnderstanding InsecurityFactors Contributing to InsecurityEffects of InsecurityIdentifying Personal InsecuritiesOvercoming Insecurity

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Understanding Insecurity

Factors Contributing to Insecurity

Effects of Insecurity

Identifying Personal Insecurities

Overcoming Insecurity

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Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Do you find yourself constantlycomparing yourself to othersand feeling like you’re coming up short? Do you hesitate to try new things because you’re sure you’ll be bad at them? Does your inner critic whisper in your ear while you’re at work, spending time with your friends, or even when you’re simply trying on clothes in the mirror?

We know this cycle of self-doubt and insecurity can be exhausting to live with. It doesn’t let you believe in yourself, holds you back from trying new things, and keeps you from living your best life.

At a GlanceFeeling insecure? You’re not alone. Insecurity often stems from childhood experiences, social pressures, or traumatic experiences. It can zap your confidence and cause you to hold yourself back.Overcoming insecurity takes time and effort, but it’s possible with self-awareness. It’s important to recognize your triggers, challenge negative thoughts, practice self-compassion, and celebrate your strengths and victories. Every single one of them, no matter how big or small!

At a Glance

Feeling insecure? You’re not alone. Insecurity often stems from childhood experiences, social pressures, or traumatic experiences. It can zap your confidence and cause you to hold yourself back.Overcoming insecurity takes time and effort, but it’s possible with self-awareness. It’s important to recognize your triggers, challenge negative thoughts, practice self-compassion, and celebrate your strengths and victories. Every single one of them, no matter how big or small!

Feeling insecure? You’re not alone. Insecurity often stems from childhood experiences, social pressures, or traumatic experiences. It can zap your confidence and cause you to hold yourself back.

Overcoming insecurity takes time and effort, but it’s possible with self-awareness. It’s important to recognize your triggers, challenge negative thoughts, practice self-compassion, and celebrate your strengths and victories. Every single one of them, no matter how big or small!

According to theAmerican Psychological Association, insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy and lack of confidence that makes us doubt our abilities and relationships with others.

Insecurity is usually a belief that you’re a failure as a person, saysAimee Daramus, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at Clarity Clinic, Chicago.

Insecurity is usually a belief that you’re a failure as a person.—AIMEE DARAMUS, PSYD

Insecurity is usually a belief that you’re a failure as a person.

—AIMEE DARAMUS, PSYD

Although insecurity can look and feel different to everyone, these are some common signs and symptoms:

Is It Regular Self-Doubt or Imposter Syndrome? Take This Quiz to Find Out

These are some of the factors that can contribute to insecurity:

How Does Social Media Play a Role in Depression?

Insecurity can take a toll on your mental health, relationships, career, and personal growth. These are some of the effects you may experience:

Insecurity in Relationships: Ways to Cope

Becoming more self-aware and recognizing your insecurities can be the first step towards overcoming them. Here are some ways to identify and understand your insecurities:

What Is Positive Self-Talk?

We asked the expert for some strategies that can help you overcome your insecurities:

The Best Online Therapy ProgramsWe’ve tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain.

Takeaways

Insecurity may be a familiar foe, but it doesn’t have to rule your life. By understanding the roots of your insecurities and taking steps to overcome them, you can build up yourconfidence. Although it can be a gradual process, every step you take is a win. Remember that you are worthy of love, starting with your own!

How to Love Yourself When Your Confidence Is Low

10 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Psychological Association.Insecurity.Kokkonen P, Athanasopoulou C, Leino-Kilpi H, Puukka P, Sakellari E.Adolescents' difficulties, strengths and feelings of insecurity: A cross-sectional descriptive survey in Finland.Discov Ment Health. 2023 Aug 31;3(1):17. doi:10.1007/s44192-023-00043-4Lahousen T, Unterrainer HF, Kapfhammer HP.Psychobiology of attachment and trauma-some general remarks from a clinical perspective.Front Psychiatry. 2019 Dec 12;10:914. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00914Binder PE, Woodfin VI, Hjeltnes A.Perfection is a sad and lonely place: A study of existential vulnerability in the life stories of persons struggling with perfectionism.Int J Qual Stud Health Well-being. 2023 Dec;18(1):2219513. doi:10.1080/17482631.2023.2219513Väänänen JM, Marttunen M, Helminen M, Kaltiala-Heino R.Low perceived social support predicts later depression but not social phobia in middle adolescence.Health Psychol Behav Med. 2014 Jan 1;2(1):1023-1037. doi:10.1080/21642850.2014.966716Lanjekar PD, Joshi SH, Lanjekar PD, Wagh V.The effect of parenting and the parent-child relationship on a child’s cognitive development: A literature review.Cureus. 2022 Oct 22;14(10):e30574. doi:10.7759/cureus.30574Pantic I.Online social networking and mental health.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2014 Oct;17(10):652-7. doi:10.1089/cyber.2014.0070Sawant NS, Kamath Y, Bajaj U, Ajmera K, Lalwani D.A study on impostor phenomenon, personality, and self-esteem of medical undergraduates and interns.Ind Psychiatry J. 2023 Jan-Jun;32(1):136-141. doi:10.4103/ipj.ipj_59_22Valikhani A, Abbasi Z, Radman E, Goodarzi MA, Moustafa AA.Insecure attachment and subclinical depression, anxiety, and stress: A three-dimensional model of personality self-regulation as a mediator.J Psychol. 2018;152(8):548-572. doi:10.1080/00223980.2018.1468727Conradi HJ, Noordhof A, Kamphuis JH.Satisfying and stable couple relationships: Attachment similarity across partners can partially buffer the negative effects of attachment insecurity.J Marital Fam Ther. 2021 Jul;47(3):682-697. doi:10.1111/jmft.12477

10 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Psychological Association.Insecurity.Kokkonen P, Athanasopoulou C, Leino-Kilpi H, Puukka P, Sakellari E.Adolescents' difficulties, strengths and feelings of insecurity: A cross-sectional descriptive survey in Finland.Discov Ment Health. 2023 Aug 31;3(1):17. doi:10.1007/s44192-023-00043-4Lahousen T, Unterrainer HF, Kapfhammer HP.Psychobiology of attachment and trauma-some general remarks from a clinical perspective.Front Psychiatry. 2019 Dec 12;10:914. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00914Binder PE, Woodfin VI, Hjeltnes A.Perfection is a sad and lonely place: A study of existential vulnerability in the life stories of persons struggling with perfectionism.Int J Qual Stud Health Well-being. 2023 Dec;18(1):2219513. doi:10.1080/17482631.2023.2219513Väänänen JM, Marttunen M, Helminen M, Kaltiala-Heino R.Low perceived social support predicts later depression but not social phobia in middle adolescence.Health Psychol Behav Med. 2014 Jan 1;2(1):1023-1037. doi:10.1080/21642850.2014.966716Lanjekar PD, Joshi SH, Lanjekar PD, Wagh V.The effect of parenting and the parent-child relationship on a child’s cognitive development: A literature review.Cureus. 2022 Oct 22;14(10):e30574. doi:10.7759/cureus.30574Pantic I.Online social networking and mental health.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2014 Oct;17(10):652-7. doi:10.1089/cyber.2014.0070Sawant NS, Kamath Y, Bajaj U, Ajmera K, Lalwani D.A study on impostor phenomenon, personality, and self-esteem of medical undergraduates and interns.Ind Psychiatry J. 2023 Jan-Jun;32(1):136-141. doi:10.4103/ipj.ipj_59_22Valikhani A, Abbasi Z, Radman E, Goodarzi MA, Moustafa AA.Insecure attachment and subclinical depression, anxiety, and stress: A three-dimensional model of personality self-regulation as a mediator.J Psychol. 2018;152(8):548-572. doi:10.1080/00223980.2018.1468727Conradi HJ, Noordhof A, Kamphuis JH.Satisfying and stable couple relationships: Attachment similarity across partners can partially buffer the negative effects of attachment insecurity.J Marital Fam Ther. 2021 Jul;47(3):682-697. doi:10.1111/jmft.12477

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

American Psychological Association.Insecurity.Kokkonen P, Athanasopoulou C, Leino-Kilpi H, Puukka P, Sakellari E.Adolescents' difficulties, strengths and feelings of insecurity: A cross-sectional descriptive survey in Finland.Discov Ment Health. 2023 Aug 31;3(1):17. doi:10.1007/s44192-023-00043-4Lahousen T, Unterrainer HF, Kapfhammer HP.Psychobiology of attachment and trauma-some general remarks from a clinical perspective.Front Psychiatry. 2019 Dec 12;10:914. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00914Binder PE, Woodfin VI, Hjeltnes A.Perfection is a sad and lonely place: A study of existential vulnerability in the life stories of persons struggling with perfectionism.Int J Qual Stud Health Well-being. 2023 Dec;18(1):2219513. doi:10.1080/17482631.2023.2219513Väänänen JM, Marttunen M, Helminen M, Kaltiala-Heino R.Low perceived social support predicts later depression but not social phobia in middle adolescence.Health Psychol Behav Med. 2014 Jan 1;2(1):1023-1037. doi:10.1080/21642850.2014.966716Lanjekar PD, Joshi SH, Lanjekar PD, Wagh V.The effect of parenting and the parent-child relationship on a child’s cognitive development: A literature review.Cureus. 2022 Oct 22;14(10):e30574. doi:10.7759/cureus.30574Pantic I.Online social networking and mental health.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2014 Oct;17(10):652-7. doi:10.1089/cyber.2014.0070Sawant NS, Kamath Y, Bajaj U, Ajmera K, Lalwani D.A study on impostor phenomenon, personality, and self-esteem of medical undergraduates and interns.Ind Psychiatry J. 2023 Jan-Jun;32(1):136-141. doi:10.4103/ipj.ipj_59_22Valikhani A, Abbasi Z, Radman E, Goodarzi MA, Moustafa AA.Insecure attachment and subclinical depression, anxiety, and stress: A three-dimensional model of personality self-regulation as a mediator.J Psychol. 2018;152(8):548-572. doi:10.1080/00223980.2018.1468727Conradi HJ, Noordhof A, Kamphuis JH.Satisfying and stable couple relationships: Attachment similarity across partners can partially buffer the negative effects of attachment insecurity.J Marital Fam Ther. 2021 Jul;47(3):682-697. doi:10.1111/jmft.12477

American Psychological Association.Insecurity.

Kokkonen P, Athanasopoulou C, Leino-Kilpi H, Puukka P, Sakellari E.Adolescents' difficulties, strengths and feelings of insecurity: A cross-sectional descriptive survey in Finland.Discov Ment Health. 2023 Aug 31;3(1):17. doi:10.1007/s44192-023-00043-4

Lahousen T, Unterrainer HF, Kapfhammer HP.Psychobiology of attachment and trauma-some general remarks from a clinical perspective.Front Psychiatry. 2019 Dec 12;10:914. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00914

Binder PE, Woodfin VI, Hjeltnes A.Perfection is a sad and lonely place: A study of existential vulnerability in the life stories of persons struggling with perfectionism.Int J Qual Stud Health Well-being. 2023 Dec;18(1):2219513. doi:10.1080/17482631.2023.2219513

Väänänen JM, Marttunen M, Helminen M, Kaltiala-Heino R.Low perceived social support predicts later depression but not social phobia in middle adolescence.Health Psychol Behav Med. 2014 Jan 1;2(1):1023-1037. doi:10.1080/21642850.2014.966716

Lanjekar PD, Joshi SH, Lanjekar PD, Wagh V.The effect of parenting and the parent-child relationship on a child’s cognitive development: A literature review.Cureus. 2022 Oct 22;14(10):e30574. doi:10.7759/cureus.30574

Pantic I.Online social networking and mental health.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2014 Oct;17(10):652-7. doi:10.1089/cyber.2014.0070

Sawant NS, Kamath Y, Bajaj U, Ajmera K, Lalwani D.A study on impostor phenomenon, personality, and self-esteem of medical undergraduates and interns.Ind Psychiatry J. 2023 Jan-Jun;32(1):136-141. doi:10.4103/ipj.ipj_59_22

Valikhani A, Abbasi Z, Radman E, Goodarzi MA, Moustafa AA.Insecure attachment and subclinical depression, anxiety, and stress: A three-dimensional model of personality self-regulation as a mediator.J Psychol. 2018;152(8):548-572. doi:10.1080/00223980.2018.1468727

Conradi HJ, Noordhof A, Kamphuis JH.Satisfying and stable couple relationships: Attachment similarity across partners can partially buffer the negative effects of attachment insecurity.J Marital Fam Ther. 2021 Jul;47(3):682-697. doi:10.1111/jmft.12477

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