Where to Meet People When You Have Dating Anxiety

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If you live with dating anxiety, you may have trouble knowing how and where to meet people. Traditional spots for meeting partners such asbarsor the local supermarket require you to strike up a conversation—a task that can be difficult if you have severe anxiety. If you live withsocial anxiety disorder (SAD)or are simply chronically shy, chances are that these situations will not showcase your best qualities.

Fortunately, there are many ways to meet people that do not require you to display wit or charm on cue. Below are some suggestions on where to meet people if you live with social anxiety.

How Social Anxiety Affects Dating and Intimate Relationships

Friends or Family

Going on a date may feel less nerve-wracking if your potential date is a friend of someone whom you know.

Best of all—you won’t need to try out any pickup lines, as the family friend date can be arranged through your mutual contact. Your friend or family member can arrange ablind date, or you could go on a double date to make the first encounter less stressful.

“Not only do your friends know what you’re looking for, but they can introduce you to new dates that can tease out new parts of your personality. Plus, you feel a vested interest in the connection and you’re more likely to take it seriously knowing that your friend chose them for you,” saysJulie Nguyen, matchmaker and relationship coach.

Managing Relationships When You Have SAD

Community Groups

How to Make Social Media Work With Social Anxiety Disorder

Service Organizations/Volunteering

One of the best ways to meet potential romantic partners is to join a service organization or spend time volunteering. Choose an organization with a cause in which you believe, such as protecting the environment or animal rights, and you will meet like-minded people. Working together in a group creates a sense of camaraderie that makes it easier to get to know people on a personal level.

Educational Settings

Whether you are incollegeor university, or just taking an adult education class, meeting people in a classroom setting has many advantages. Classes usually last for several months, giving you enough time to get to know people.

Difficult assignments or upcoming exams also give you an excuse to get together for study sessions or to compare notes. Best of all, being in the same class gives you an automatic topic for conversation—what do you think of the teacher, are you enjoying the class? Having common ground is much easier than starting from scratch.

Work

If you have a job, meeting someone at work may be the easiest way for you to find a partner. Instead of hiding at your desk during lunch, join your coworkers and make a point of asking about their weekends, their families, and their hobbies. Even if you don’t end up finding a romantic match, you might make some new friends along the way.

“Dating someone at work makes sense because you spend most of your time there. It makes sense that late nights can blossom into something else. If you date someone at work, it’s wise to make sure they don’t work in the same department as you so it doesn’t lead to uncomfortable, messy dynamics,” says Nguyen

Social Anxiety and Employment

Online/Personals

Don’t be too quick to discount using online dating services or personal ads. The hard part of meeting people, that is, approaching strangers, is much easier in an online environment.

People who place personal ads online or in the newspaper are also usually serious about finding romantic partners. Best of all, you have the chance to carefully put together a personal description that reflects your true inner spirit—qualities that are probably not going to shine through during a quick encounter.

Sports

Even if you have never played sports in your life, they can be a great avenue for meeting people. Joining a beginner sports league such as baseball or volleyball gives you the chance to learn a new skill while also building new relationships.

In addition, watching how others handle themselves during a game—whether they show good sportsmanship and offer help and advice to newcomers to the sport—can tell you a lot about how they would conduct themselves in a romantic relationship.

Dog Park

If you own a dog, take it to a dog park! Look for other owners who are there on their own and strike up a conversation. Having the dogs to talk about will help to break the ice, and knowing that you have at least one thing in common is a good starting point for conversation.

How Owning a Pet Can Reduce Stress

Hobbies and Clubs

Specialty Stores

Browsing in a specialty store gives you the opportunity to meet people with similar interests.Take notice of the books that strangers are looking at or the music that they pick up.

“As a matchmaker, I love the idea of looking for your next partner at a place you already frequent. I’ve worked with many clients where it was successful. After all, like attracts like. With this approach, you’re likely to find someone you’re compatible with,” says Nguyen.

If you see an opportunity to comment on an item that you like—take it. Talking with people about things you are passionate about is easier than grasping at conversation topics.

Seek Support If You Need It

If you are just shy or nervous about dating, you probably still push yourself to go on dates and form romantic relationships. On the other hand, if you live with SAD, you may avoid romantic pursuits altogether.

Unfortunately, if this behavior is allowed to continue over a long period of time, your chance of meeting someone and having a satisfying romantic relationship is greatly reduced. Properdiagnosisandtreatmentincludingcognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)and/ormedicationcan help you to overcome thesymptomsof SAD. Take the first step towardgetting helpand you will become more open to meeting new people and excited about the romantic prospects that await you.

First Impressions: Everything You Need to Make a Good Introduction

6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Social Phobia. TeensHealth from Nemours. August 2018.Xiao Z, Li J, Zhou G.Do common interests of students play a role in friendship?.Procedia Computer Science. 2018;131:733-738.VolunteerMatch. VolunteerMatch.Yen JY, Yen CF, Chen CS, Wang PW, Chang YH, Ko CH.Social anxiety in online and real-life interaction and their associated factors.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2012;15(1):7-12.  doi:10.1089/cyber.2011.0015Find Sports. Find League.Wood L, Martin K, Christian H, et al.The pet factor–companion animals as a conduit for getting to know people, friendship formation and social support.PLoS ONE. 2015;10(4):e0122085.  doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0122085Additional ReadingBoyle AM.The influence of dating anxiety on normative experiences of dating, sexual interactions, and alcohol consumption among Canadian middle adolescents. J Youth Stud. 2012;2:222-236.Stevens SB.College dating and social anxiety: Using the internet as a means of connecting to others. CyberPsychol Behav. 2007;10(5).Columbia University.Where to Meet New People Over the Summer.Massachusetts Institute of Technology.Meeting People at and around MIT.University of Vermont.How to Meet People in College.

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Social Phobia. TeensHealth from Nemours. August 2018.Xiao Z, Li J, Zhou G.Do common interests of students play a role in friendship?.Procedia Computer Science. 2018;131:733-738.VolunteerMatch. VolunteerMatch.Yen JY, Yen CF, Chen CS, Wang PW, Chang YH, Ko CH.Social anxiety in online and real-life interaction and their associated factors.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2012;15(1):7-12.  doi:10.1089/cyber.2011.0015Find Sports. Find League.Wood L, Martin K, Christian H, et al.The pet factor–companion animals as a conduit for getting to know people, friendship formation and social support.PLoS ONE. 2015;10(4):e0122085.  doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0122085Additional ReadingBoyle AM.The influence of dating anxiety on normative experiences of dating, sexual interactions, and alcohol consumption among Canadian middle adolescents. J Youth Stud. 2012;2:222-236.Stevens SB.College dating and social anxiety: Using the internet as a means of connecting to others. CyberPsychol Behav. 2007;10(5).Columbia University.Where to Meet New People Over the Summer.Massachusetts Institute of Technology.Meeting People at and around MIT.University of Vermont.How to Meet People in College.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Social Phobia. TeensHealth from Nemours. August 2018.Xiao Z, Li J, Zhou G.Do common interests of students play a role in friendship?.Procedia Computer Science. 2018;131:733-738.VolunteerMatch. VolunteerMatch.Yen JY, Yen CF, Chen CS, Wang PW, Chang YH, Ko CH.Social anxiety in online and real-life interaction and their associated factors.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2012;15(1):7-12.  doi:10.1089/cyber.2011.0015Find Sports. Find League.Wood L, Martin K, Christian H, et al.The pet factor–companion animals as a conduit for getting to know people, friendship formation and social support.PLoS ONE. 2015;10(4):e0122085.  doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0122085

Social Phobia. TeensHealth from Nemours. August 2018.

Xiao Z, Li J, Zhou G.Do common interests of students play a role in friendship?.Procedia Computer Science. 2018;131:733-738.

VolunteerMatch. VolunteerMatch.

Yen JY, Yen CF, Chen CS, Wang PW, Chang YH, Ko CH.Social anxiety in online and real-life interaction and their associated factors.Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2012;15(1):7-12.  doi:10.1089/cyber.2011.0015

Find Sports. Find League.

Wood L, Martin K, Christian H, et al.The pet factor–companion animals as a conduit for getting to know people, friendship formation and social support.PLoS ONE. 2015;10(4):e0122085.  doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0122085

Boyle AM.The influence of dating anxiety on normative experiences of dating, sexual interactions, and alcohol consumption among Canadian middle adolescents. J Youth Stud. 2012;2:222-236.Stevens SB.College dating and social anxiety: Using the internet as a means of connecting to others. CyberPsychol Behav. 2007;10(5).Columbia University.Where to Meet New People Over the Summer.Massachusetts Institute of Technology.Meeting People at and around MIT.University of Vermont.How to Meet People in College.

Boyle AM.The influence of dating anxiety on normative experiences of dating, sexual interactions, and alcohol consumption among Canadian middle adolescents. J Youth Stud. 2012;2:222-236.

Stevens SB.College dating and social anxiety: Using the internet as a means of connecting to others. CyberPsychol Behav. 2007;10(5).

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