When Your Emotions at Work Take Over

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsAcknowledge ThemLearn the Company CultureFind a Safe PersonModel Emotional OpennessEmbrace Your EmotionsAccept That You Can’t Pick Your CoworkersCreate BoundariesPrepare Your ToolkitPractice Self-Care

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Acknowledge Them

Learn the Company Culture

Find a Safe Person

Model Emotional Openness

Embrace Your Emotions

Accept That You Can’t Pick Your Coworkers

Create Boundaries

Prepare Your Toolkit

Practice Self-Care

Close

If you have ever dealt with emotions at work—congratulations, you’re a human! Acknowledge that emotions at work are valid and normal, whether they be about something at work or at home. Although there is a time and a place for how you may express these emotions at work, you would be a robot if you never had any feelings about work.

You likely care a lot about your job and doing well, and disappointing yourself or others may bring up feelings. Not only that, but we spend more than a third of our waking hours at work. So it is not surprising how ourjobs can affect our mental healthor that emotions about things happening outside of work can often pop up during work hours.

Here’s how to deal when emotions at work inevitably do show up.

At a GlanceSometimes leaving your emotions at the door when you come to work isn’t easy. Emotions at work are valid, and considering more than a third of our waking hours are at work, we’re bound to bring some of our baggage into our professional lives. Acknowledge your emotions, practice boundaries and choose who you want to disclose your feelings to (hint: make trusted allies), model emotional openness for other colleagues who might be experiencing the same things, and prepare your mental health toolkit—which can include some quick journaling, getting some fresh air during your breaktime, deep breathing exercises, and getting some quality zzz’s.

At a Glance

Sometimes leaving your emotions at the door when you come to work isn’t easy. Emotions at work are valid, and considering more than a third of our waking hours are at work, we’re bound to bring some of our baggage into our professional lives. Acknowledge your emotions, practice boundaries and choose who you want to disclose your feelings to (hint: make trusted allies), model emotional openness for other colleagues who might be experiencing the same things, and prepare your mental health toolkit—which can include some quick journaling, getting some fresh air during your breaktime, deep breathing exercises, and getting some quality zzz’s.

Listen to your body. Often,we feel our emotions in our bodiesbefore we can identify them. Is your face burning red or your heart racing? You may be more anxious than you realize.

Try not to make any decisions while feeling upset or agitated, if you can. Research shows that our decision-making abilities are compromised when we are feeling anxious.

Every company’s culture is different, and some companies may be more emotionally vulnerable than others. Even if you do work for a company that is more open about discussing emotions, it is still wise to practice some boundaries; your CEO probably doesn’t need to hear about your breakup.

In an ideal world, it would be fine to share how you were feeling with a coworker. However, we know that is not always the case of all coworkers. Find a trusted ally at work that you can vent to when things are feeling hard.

If you manage other people or are in a leadership position, you can set the tone to create a supportive environment where your colleaguesfeel comfortable sharing their thoughts.

But maybe your emotions aren’t a bad thing! They may just be your superpower at work, particularly if you are in a position that is client- or customer-facing. Being in touch with your emotions can help you build stronger relationships and alliances with others.

We typically don’t get to choose who we work with. It’s inevitable in a workplace, there will be many different personalities and working styles, and not all of you will vibe.

It’s OK; you don’t need to be best friends with your coworkers—you just need to get the job done.We also know that sometimes, these coworkers are the exact ones who cause your emotions at work to arise.

Be curious if there’s something you can learn from working with them—even if it’s just whatpersonality typeyou don’t like working with!

It’s great to enjoy spending time with your coworkers socially, too, but the more you hang out with them, the more entangled your emotions and work will be. This can make job transitions and conversations about compensation even more difficult.

On the other side of the coin, do your best to keep your home life at home—your morning meeting is not the place to bring up your fight with your partner.Boundariesare your friend.

But sometimes it is inevitable that youwillfeel a lot of emotions at work. At this point, it’s important for you to have a go-tomental health toolkitof things you can do when you are feeling this way.

Perhaps this involves dashing out a quick journal entry or note to yourself at your desk, taking a minute to do some deep breathing, or even leaving a meeting to get some air if you see no other option than your emotions taking over.

Self-Care for Big Emotions at Work

Many things that may cause big emotions at work are symptoms of larger problems societally or within your company and are not your fault.

Self-care certainly isn’t the answer for larger systemic problems, but some of the following suggestions can at least help you manage what you can control right now for your own peace of mind.

Use Your PTO

Your vacation days are a part of your compensation. You wouldn’t give part of your salary back, so why would you not use these paid days? Even if you are not currently able totake a vacation, even a staycation may help you charge your batteries so you aren’t a lit fuse waiting to explode.

Get Your Sleep

Everything feels harder when we’re tired, and managing our emotions is no different. The quantity and quality of sleep we get affect our capacity for emotional regulation.However, this is a cyclical relationship, andour emotions may also affect how well and how long we sleep.

Step Away for Lunch

If you are able to—even if it’s just for a few minutes—step away from work for lunch. Use your time for lunch to eat mindfully rather than wolfing down your lunch at your desk while multitasking.

Remember—your brain needs this nourishment to get you through the rest of the day. Plus, those who eat slower report higher levels of satisfaction with their meals.

Know Your Limits

This applies as much to the people you may work with on a project as much as the amount of work you take on. If you know that a certain person who gets on your every last nerve is going to be on a project that you are able to say “no” to, it may be worth your peace. No job is worth your health.

Get Professional Help

If your emotions at work feel like too much to handle—or are interfering with your work—it might be helpful totalk to a mental health professionalwho can help you deal with these emotions as well as rule out any mental health issues that might be contributing to you feeling this way.

If you’re not already seeing a therapist, check to see if your company has anemployee assistance program (EAP). These programs are confidential and can provide you with both short-term counseling as well as help you find an outside therapist once they have done an assessment with you and know what you’re looking for.

What This Means For You

How to Find a Therapist

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Hartley CA, Phelps EA.Anxiety and decision-making.Biological psychiatry. 2012;72(2). doi:10.1016/j.biopsych.2011.12.027Pega F, Náfrádi B, Momen NC, et al.Global, regional, and national burdens of ischemic heart disease and stroke attributable to exposure to long working hours for 194 countries, 2000–2016: A systematic analysis from the WHO/ILO Joint Estimates of the Work-related Burden of Disease and Injury.Environment International. 2021;154:106595. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.envint.2021.106595Vandekerckhove M, Wang Y-lin.Emotion, emotion regulation and sleep: An intimate relationship.AIMS Neuroscience. 2017;5(1):1-22. doi:10.3934/neuroscience.2018.5.1Hinton EC, Leary SD, Comlek L, Rogers PJ, Hamilton-Shield JP.How full am I? The effect of rating fullness during eating on food intake, eating speed and relationship with satiety responsiveness.Appetite. 2021;157:104998. doi:10.1016/j.appet.2020.104998

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Hartley CA, Phelps EA.Anxiety and decision-making.Biological psychiatry. 2012;72(2). doi:10.1016/j.biopsych.2011.12.027Pega F, Náfrádi B, Momen NC, et al.Global, regional, and national burdens of ischemic heart disease and stroke attributable to exposure to long working hours for 194 countries, 2000–2016: A systematic analysis from the WHO/ILO Joint Estimates of the Work-related Burden of Disease and Injury.Environment International. 2021;154:106595. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.envint.2021.106595Vandekerckhove M, Wang Y-lin.Emotion, emotion regulation and sleep: An intimate relationship.AIMS Neuroscience. 2017;5(1):1-22. doi:10.3934/neuroscience.2018.5.1Hinton EC, Leary SD, Comlek L, Rogers PJ, Hamilton-Shield JP.How full am I? The effect of rating fullness during eating on food intake, eating speed and relationship with satiety responsiveness.Appetite. 2021;157:104998. doi:10.1016/j.appet.2020.104998

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Hartley CA, Phelps EA.Anxiety and decision-making.Biological psychiatry. 2012;72(2). doi:10.1016/j.biopsych.2011.12.027Pega F, Náfrádi B, Momen NC, et al.Global, regional, and national burdens of ischemic heart disease and stroke attributable to exposure to long working hours for 194 countries, 2000–2016: A systematic analysis from the WHO/ILO Joint Estimates of the Work-related Burden of Disease and Injury.Environment International. 2021;154:106595. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.envint.2021.106595Vandekerckhove M, Wang Y-lin.Emotion, emotion regulation and sleep: An intimate relationship.AIMS Neuroscience. 2017;5(1):1-22. doi:10.3934/neuroscience.2018.5.1Hinton EC, Leary SD, Comlek L, Rogers PJ, Hamilton-Shield JP.How full am I? The effect of rating fullness during eating on food intake, eating speed and relationship with satiety responsiveness.Appetite. 2021;157:104998. doi:10.1016/j.appet.2020.104998

Hartley CA, Phelps EA.Anxiety and decision-making.Biological psychiatry. 2012;72(2). doi:10.1016/j.biopsych.2011.12.027

Pega F, Náfrádi B, Momen NC, et al.Global, regional, and national burdens of ischemic heart disease and stroke attributable to exposure to long working hours for 194 countries, 2000–2016: A systematic analysis from the WHO/ILO Joint Estimates of the Work-related Burden of Disease and Injury.Environment International. 2021;154:106595. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.envint.2021.106595

Vandekerckhove M, Wang Y-lin.Emotion, emotion regulation and sleep: An intimate relationship.AIMS Neuroscience. 2017;5(1):1-22. doi:10.3934/neuroscience.2018.5.1

Hinton EC, Leary SD, Comlek L, Rogers PJ, Hamilton-Shield JP.How full am I? The effect of rating fullness during eating on food intake, eating speed and relationship with satiety responsiveness.Appetite. 2021;157:104998. doi:10.1016/j.appet.2020.104998

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