What to Know About the Depression Stage of Grief

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsFive Stages of GriefWhat Is the Depression Stage?SymptomsCopingNext in The Stages of Grief GuideWhat to Know About the Acceptance Stage of Grief

Table of ContentsView All

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Table of Contents

Five Stages of Grief

What Is the Depression Stage?

Symptoms

Coping

Next in The Stages of Grief Guide

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If you’re grieving the loss of something or someone you cared about, you may find yourself feeling sad and low. Everything may feel bleak and hopeless, and you may not feel like doing things you once cared about. You may feel overwhelmed and find it difficult to get out of bed and go about your day the way you did before.

If you feel this way, you’re not alone. Many people have similar experiences when they grieve a loss, whether it’s the loss of aloved one, a relationship, a job, an idea, a sense of control, or anything else that had meaning to them.

At a GlanceFeelings of depression are a normal part of the grieving process. Signs of depression that may occur when someone is grieving include difficulty functioning, hopelessness, excessive sleeping, frequent crying, and withdrawal from loved ones.While such feelings are normal, there are things you can do to cope during this difficult time. Social support can help; so can finding meaningful rituals to help you process your loss and honor your loved one.

At a Glance

Feelings of depression are a normal part of the grieving process. Signs of depression that may occur when someone is grieving include difficulty functioning, hopelessness, excessive sleeping, frequent crying, and withdrawal from loved ones.While such feelings are normal, there are things you can do to cope during this difficult time. Social support can help; so can finding meaningful rituals to help you process your loss and honor your loved one.

Feelings of depression are a normal part of the grieving process. Signs of depression that may occur when someone is grieving include difficulty functioning, hopelessness, excessive sleeping, frequent crying, and withdrawal from loved ones.

While such feelings are normal, there are things you can do to cope during this difficult time. Social support can help; so can finding meaningful rituals to help you process your loss and honor your loved one.

What Are the Five Stages of Grief?

In 1969, a Swiss-born American psychiatrist Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross published a book titled “On Death and Dying,” in which she theorized that people grieve infive stages, which are:

The U.S. National Library of Medicine notes that this theory was among the first to deal with death and became a standard text for professionals working with terminally ill patients and their families.This theory has also gained popular appeal.

The theory is comforting because it brings order to something horrifying, saysJonathan DePierro, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai.

However, DePierro explains that recent research suggests most people do not fit neatly into these stages when they experience a loss.

Grief is messy. People grieve in many ways and feel many emotions at once, so there isn’t necessarily a predictable process and timeline for grieving.—JONATHAN DEPIERRO, PHD

Grief is messy. People grieve in many ways and feel many emotions at once, so there isn’t necessarily a predictable process and timeline for grieving.

—JONATHAN DEPIERRO, PHD

That said, DePierro notes that this theory can help people understand what kinds of reactions to generally expect after a loss.

Grief vs. Depression: Which Is It?

What Is the Depression Stage of Grief?

The depression stage is the fourth stage of the grief theory. DePierro explains that it was initially believed that people moved through the stages of grief one at a time, although that’s not necessarily true.

People may experience sadness and other symptoms of depression at any point in the grieving process, or may not experience them at all. The duration, frequency, and intensity of their feelings and symptoms may also vary. Everyone reacts to loss differently.

Symptoms of the Depression Stage of Grief

According to DePierro, these are some of the depressive thoughts and feelings you may experience while you’re grieving:

“These reactions are normal. They generally become less intense over time and are not usually signs of a mental health disorder requiringprofessional treatment,” says DePierro.

9 Types of Grief People May Experience, According to Experts

Coping With the Depression Stage of Grief

DePierro shares some strategies that can help you manage feelings of depression during the grieving process:

Accept Support

It’s important to acceptsupportfrom friends, family, colleagues, spiritual leaders, and others who have been helpful in the past. Withdrawing from people often makes feelings of depression worse.

Don’t Avoid Your Emotions

Work onaccepting all the emotionsthat come up. No feeling is right or wrong. Self-judgments like “I shouldn’t be feeling this way now” can make feelings of depression worse.

Perform a Meaningful Ritual

Rituals and routines can help you process and understand the loss. For instance, if you have lost a loved one, there are many ways to remember them and honor their life. Some people write letters to the person who has passed away or seek comfort in the traditions of their faith.

Seek Help if You Need It

If grief takes hold of your life, leaving no space for anything else, it may be helpful to seek professional support because there areeffective treatmentsavailable.

Approximately 9.8% of people who experience a loss develop what is known ascomplicated grief.This type of grief last longer than normal and creates significant disturbances in a person’s life.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

What This Means For You

Experiencing a loss is painful and difficult, and you may find yourself experiencing symptoms of depression. These symptoms are part of a normal reaction to a loss and generally fade with time. However, if you find yourself unable to cope with the loss, you canseek helpfrom a mental healthcare professional.

Best Online Grief Support Groups

6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.U.S. National Library of Medicine.Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717Counseling Center, University of Washington.The stages of grief.Nakajima S.Complicated grief: recent developments in diagnostic criteria and treatment.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2018;373(1754):20170273. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0273

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.U.S. National Library of Medicine.Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717Counseling Center, University of Washington.The stages of grief.Nakajima S.Complicated grief: recent developments in diagnostic criteria and treatment.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2018;373(1754):20170273. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0273

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.U.S. National Library of Medicine.Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717Counseling Center, University of Washington.The stages of grief.Nakajima S.Complicated grief: recent developments in diagnostic criteria and treatment.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2018;373(1754):20170273. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0273

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.

U.S. National Library of Medicine.Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.

Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870

O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717

Counseling Center, University of Washington.The stages of grief.

Nakajima S.Complicated grief: recent developments in diagnostic criteria and treatment.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2018;373(1754):20170273. doi:10.1098/rstb.2017.0273

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