What to Know About the Denial Stage of Grief

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsFive Stages of GriefThe Denial StageCharacteristicsWhat It Feels LikeCoping With DenialNext in The Stages of Grief GuideWhat to Know About the Anger Stage of Grief

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Five Stages of Grief

The Denial Stage

Characteristics

What It Feels Like

Coping With Denial

Next in The Stages of Grief Guide

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People who’ve recently lost a loved one may have difficulty processing and accepting the loss. They might sometimes forget that the person is not around or a part of their life anymore. These are characteristics of the denial stage of grief, which is a normal part ofthe grieving process.

“Denial is when a loss doesn’t feel real yet," explainsAimee Daramus, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist. “You know that the loss happened but it doesn’t feel like it.” We may also experience grief and denial after the loss of other things that are important to us, such as a job, a business, a friendship, or a relationship.

Here we discuss the denial stage of grief in greater detail. We also explore the characteristics of denial and provide a few coping strategies that may be helpful.

Overview of the Five Stages of Grief

Dr. Kübler-Ross is considered one of the physicians who changed the face of medicine.This is because her work became the standard text for professionals with patientsdiagnosed with a terminal illness, as well as their families.

There has been more research on the grieving process since the stages of grief were initially proposed. Based on this research, the current understanding is that people don’t necessarily grieve in stages and may or may not experience all of these emotions.

In reality, grief can be a messy process and everyone reacts to it differently.Nevertheless, the theory helps us understand the common ways in which people may experience grief, one of which is through denial, says Dr. Daramus.

The Denial Stage of Grief

In the denial stage of grief, we may struggle to consciously or unconsciously acknowledge the loss.When we experience a loss, particularly if it’s sudden, we may feel like our world has turned upside down.

Loss can affect our daily life or even our identity. For instance, if we’velost a spouse, our daily routine, our home, and even our identity as a husband, wife, or partner may be affected.

Denial is adefense mechanismthat helps minimize the pain of the loss. It’s our brain’s way of protecting us from the pain so we have some time to adjust to our new reality. Denial is typically experienced immediately after a loss,as our brain works to process it.

People may also experience other emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, or anxiety while in the denial stage of loss, as they start to confront their new reality.

Aimee Daramus, PsyDDenial is a stage when the loss feels unreal. It can be healthy if it gives you time to slowly ease into the next part of your life.

Aimee Daramus, PsyD

Denial is a stage when the loss feels unreal. It can be healthy if it gives you time to slowly ease into the next part of your life.

Characteristics of the Denial Stage of Grief

What the Denial Stage of Grief Feels Like

Dr. Daramus shares some examples of what denial can feel like when grieving a loss such as abad breakupor the death of a loved one:

What Is the Widowhood Effect?

Coping With the Denial Stage of Grief

Dr. Daramus also shares some steps that can help people cope with the denial stage of grief:

Summary

People who have recently experienced a loss may experience grief and denial. As they start to process the loss, they may start to experience other emotions such as anger, sorrow, regret, or guilt as well.

Though devastating, grieving is a normal process that’s part of life. Over time, as people process the loss and cope with it, they will be able to accept it and start to move on. Therapists can assist with this process in the form of grief counseling.

What Therapists Do and When to See One

10 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Cancer Society.Grief and bereavement.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.American Psychological Association.Stages of grief.National Library of Medicine.Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.Corr CA.Should we incorporate the work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in our current teaching and practice and, if so, how?Omega (Westport). 2021;83(4):706-728. doi:10.1177/0030222819865397Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717American Psychological Association.Denial stage.University of Rochester Medical Center.Grief and bereavement: When a child dies.Barath S, Hlongwane SN, Madlala M, Mzanywa SL, Paken J.Influence of hearing loss on sibling relationships: Perspectives of the normal hearing sibling.S Afr J Commun Disord. 2023;70(1):1-14.

10 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Cancer Society.Grief and bereavement.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.American Psychological Association.Stages of grief.National Library of Medicine.Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.Corr CA.Should we incorporate the work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in our current teaching and practice and, if so, how?Omega (Westport). 2021;83(4):706-728. doi:10.1177/0030222819865397Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717American Psychological Association.Denial stage.University of Rochester Medical Center.Grief and bereavement: When a child dies.Barath S, Hlongwane SN, Madlala M, Mzanywa SL, Paken J.Influence of hearing loss on sibling relationships: Perspectives of the normal hearing sibling.S Afr J Commun Disord. 2023;70(1):1-14.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

American Cancer Society.Grief and bereavement.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.American Psychological Association.Stages of grief.National Library of Medicine.Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.Corr CA.Should we incorporate the work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in our current teaching and practice and, if so, how?Omega (Westport). 2021;83(4):706-728. doi:10.1177/0030222819865397Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717American Psychological Association.Denial stage.University of Rochester Medical Center.Grief and bereavement: When a child dies.Barath S, Hlongwane SN, Madlala M, Mzanywa SL, Paken J.Influence of hearing loss on sibling relationships: Perspectives of the normal hearing sibling.S Afr J Commun Disord. 2023;70(1):1-14.

American Cancer Society.Grief and bereavement.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.

American Psychological Association.Stages of grief.

National Library of Medicine.Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.

Corr CA.Should we incorporate the work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in our current teaching and practice and, if so, how?Omega (Westport). 2021;83(4):706-728. doi:10.1177/0030222819865397

Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870

O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717

American Psychological Association.Denial stage.

University of Rochester Medical Center.Grief and bereavement: When a child dies.

Barath S, Hlongwane SN, Madlala M, Mzanywa SL, Paken J.Influence of hearing loss on sibling relationships: Perspectives of the normal hearing sibling.S Afr J Commun Disord. 2023;70(1):1-14.

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