What to Know About the Acceptance Stage of Grief

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsStages of GriefWhat Is the Acceptance Stage?CharacteristicsCopingNext in The Stages of Grief GuideHow the Five Stages of Grief Can Help Process a Loss

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Stages of Grief

What Is the Acceptance Stage?

Characteristics

Coping

Next in The Stages of Grief Guide

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Grief is one of the most painful emotions we’ll ever experience. It’s different for everyone but often follows a fairly predictable course. After a loss, you may experience many different emotions, includingshock, denial, grief, anger, guilt, and regret. Eventually, however, you may reach a stage of acceptance.

“Acceptance doesn’t mean that you feel happy about the loss. Rather, in this stage, there is finally an acceptance of the pain and loss you experienced, and you start to look forward to and plan for the future,” saysSarah Gundle, PsyD, a clinical psychologist with a private practice in New York City.

The loss may be the loss of a loved one or something else that had meaning for you, such as an idea, a business, a relationship, a physical ability, or even a sense of independence or control.

At a GlanceThe initial denial, pain, anger, and depression that happen after a loss eventually give way to a new acceptance of its effects on your life. It’s not about “getting over” the pain; it’s about accepting what happened and integrating it into your new reality. During this stage, you may begin to feel more secure, positive, and open to what happens next. It takes time, but supporting yourself as you process your emotions can help you find ways to honor your loss while still looking forward with a sense of hope.

At a Glance

The initial denial, pain, anger, and depression that happen after a loss eventually give way to a new acceptance of its effects on your life. It’s not about “getting over” the pain; it’s about accepting what happened and integrating it into your new reality. During this stage, you may begin to feel more secure, positive, and open to what happens next. It takes time, but supporting yourself as you process your emotions can help you find ways to honor your loss while still looking forward with a sense of hope.

What Are the Stages of Grief?

A Swiss-American psychiatrist named Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross proposed a theory in 1969, that we grieve infive stages: denial, anger, bargaining,depression, and acceptance. The theory gained popularity in academic circles and popular culture alike.

According to Dr. Gundle, the theory has been adapted since and now includes seven stages, which are:

While these theories help us understand some of the common ways people grieve, it’s important to remember that every individual reacts togriefdifferently.

Dr. Gundle notes that grief doesn’t necessarily go forward in neat, precise stages.“You may go back and forth between the stages of grief, particularly around anniversaries, holidays, or other special occasions.”

What Is the Acceptance Stage of Grief?

In the acceptance stage of grief, you are able to accept the reality of the loss.

Sarah Gundle, PsyDThis stage is about accepting the fact that there is a new reality that cannot be changed, and figuring out how the new reality will impact your life, relationships, and trajectory.

Sarah Gundle, PsyD

This stage is about accepting the fact that there is a new reality that cannot be changed, and figuring out how the new reality will impact your life, relationships, and trajectory.

Rather, acceptance means embracing the present, understanding the extent of the loss rather than fighting it, accepting responsibility for yourself and your actions, and then starting your journey toward a new phase of life with contentment, says Dr. Gundle.

Characteristics of the Acceptance Stage of Grief

These are some of the characteristics of the acceptance stage of grief, according to Dr. Gundle:

These are some examples of what the acceptance stage of grief can look like, says Dr. Gundle:

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Coping With the Acceptance Stage of Grief

Getting to the acceptance stage of grief isn’t easy. It means you’ve already worked through some intensely painful emotions and reached a place where you can deal with those feelings while still moving forward with a sense of optimism. So how do you get to that point? These are some strategies that can help you achieve acceptance:

Remember That it Takes Time

Grieving is a painful process and healing can taketime. Even if you start to accept the loss, there may be times when you feel angry, sad, or upset, and that’s all right. Acceptance becomes more stable with time, says Dr. Gundle.

Perform a Ritual

A gesture or a ritual that has meaning to you can help you process your loss, making it easier for you to let go. You can even choose to perform the ritual periodically on holidays or special occasions, to honor the memory of your loss and help you cope.

Surround Yourself With Loved Ones

While you’re grieving, keep friends and family members close, rather than withdrawing from them and isolating yourself. Let them know how they can be there for you and accept theirsupport.

Focus on the Positives

It’s important to focus on positive aspects like happy memories, learnings and insights, what you have rather than what you’ve lost, and the courage and resilience you have shown.

Start to Look Toward the Future

When you feel ready, start thinking about and planning for the future. You may experience twinges ofguiltor sadness if it’s not how you pictured it would be, but you’ll slowly come to accept that this is the way things were meant to be.

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Takeaways

A major loss can take a mental and physical toll on you and turn your world upside down. However, the final stage of the grieving process is acceptance, which is when you accept your new reality and start to make your way forward through it.

If you are struggling with grief or experiencing lasting disruptions in your life, talk to a doctor or therapist. You may be experiencingcomplicated grieforprolonged grief disorder. A mental health professional can work with you to process what you are feeling and develop coping strategies that will help.

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4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.Corr CA.Should we incorporate the work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in our current teaching and practice and, if so, how?Omega (Westport). 2021;83(4):706-728. doi:10.1177/0030222819865397O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.Corr CA.Should we incorporate the work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in our current teaching and practice and, if so, how?Omega (Westport). 2021;83(4):706-728. doi:10.1177/0030222819865397O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.Corr CA.Should we incorporate the work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in our current teaching and practice and, if so, how?Omega (Westport). 2021;83(4):706-728. doi:10.1177/0030222819865397O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Grief.

Corr CA.Should we incorporate the work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in our current teaching and practice and, if so, how?Omega (Westport). 2021;83(4):706-728. doi:10.1177/0030222819865397

O’Connor MF.Grief: A brief history of research on how the body, mind, and brain adapt.Psychosom Med. 2019;81(8):731-738. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000717

Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K.Cautioning healthcare professionals.Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870

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