Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Is Attention-Seeking Behavior?ExamplesUnderlying CausesCopingFrequently Asked Questions

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What Is Attention-Seeking Behavior?

Examples

Underlying Causes

Coping

Frequently Asked Questions

Close

Attention-seeking behavior is everywhere, and almost all of us have witnessed it at one time or another. You might be familiar with the friend who seems toway toomuch time on social media, constantly bragging with a seemingly endless need for personal validation. Or, you may have seen the child who has a meltdown while waiting in line at the grocery store, falling on the floor and kicking their legs.

The behaviors of people who seem to be seeking undue amounts of attention are apt to make us uncomfortable, irritated, and embarrassed. They are exactly the kinds of behaviors that seem poised to push our buttons. The question is: When is attention-seeking behavior something we can simply try to ignore, and when it is a problem that might need to be addressed in a more serious way?

Read on for what attention-seeking behavior is, what causes it, when it might be indicative of a serious mental health disorder, and how to cope when you or someone in your life is exhibiting this behavior.

List of Psychological Disorders

In Contrast: Learn More About the Fear of Being the Center of Attention

What Does Attention-Seeking Behavior Look Like?

There are many ways that attention-seeking behaviors can present themselves. Sometimes a behavior is overt, such as when someone makes a confrontational comment. Sometimes the behaviors are more subtle, such as someone who seems to be constantly fishing for compliments.

Examples of Attention-Seeking Behavior

Dramatic Personality Disorders in the DSM-5-TR

Causes of Attention-Seeking Behavior

There are a couple of reasons why someone might be having attention-seeking behaviors. The most common reason why someone might exhibit these behaviors is that they are experiencing low-self esteem.

Low self-esteemoften can look like someone who is down on themselves and who is struggling with depression. But sometimes, low self-esteem or having a negative view of oneself can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety.

Childhood neglect, abuse, or traumacan be linked with attention-seeking behaviors. Growing up feeling unsafe, unloved, and insecure may lead to chronic feelings of low self-worth, depression, and anger, as may contribute to aggressive, anti-social, and even delinquent behaviors.

Other emotional states that might lead to attention-seeking behaviors include loneliness or jealousy.For example, people who are experiencing increasing loneliness orsocial anxietymight turn to social media for validation and then exhibitattention-seeking behaviorin their online interactions with others.

11 Signs of Low Self-Esteem

Is Attention-Seeking Behavior Ever Normal?

Again, to some extent, we are all wired to want attention and validation, and so it’s important to understand that some attention-seeking behavior can be thought of as an understandable need for validation or a cry for help.

For example, most attention-seeking behaviors in children, especially young children, shouldn’t be thought of as unhealthy or manipulative. Some of these behaviors are developmentally appropriate, as children are often testing boundaries to understand what appropriate behavior looks like.

Other times, children who act out are really saying that they need help from their parents or may even need psychological help. Some attention-seeking behavior in children may be related to a cognitive or behavioral disorder such asattention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD),oppositional defiant disorder, orconduct disorder.

Is Attention-Seeking Behavior Part of Mental Illness?

A person who has persistent, extreme, or disturbing attention-seeking behaviors might be experiencing a mental health disorder, or may be someone who has a personality disorder. Some possibilities include:

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Histrionic personality disorder is a personality disorder that’s part of a cluster of personality disorders called “dramatic personality disorders.” One of the primary features of histrionic personality disorder is attention-seeking behavior. In addition, someone who has this disorder may display some of the following characteristics:

Borderline Personality Disorder

Other signs of BPD include:

Comparison: Histrionic Personality Disorder vs. Borderline Personality Disorder

Other Mental Health Disorders

There are several other behavioral and mental health disorders that have attention-seeking behavior as a characteristic. These include:

Bipolar Disorder vs. BPD: What Are the Differences?

Coping With Attention-Seeking Behavior

If someone in your life is showing an uptick in attention-seeking behavior, feeling upset or turned off is a normal reaction. However, people who are exhibiting these behaviors are usually coming from a place of emotional suffering or are experiencing a mental health disturbance.

So, if possible, the best way to talk to someone who is exhibiting these behaviors is to come from a place of compassion. Remember, often, someone who seems to need constant attention is actually experiencing low self-worth.

Try to tell the person matter-of-factly what you are observing, and ask what you can do to help. Ask them what they might be struggling with, and tell them that they are loved and supported. Often, simply having someone in their life who cares is enough for the person to feel better and to decrease some of their attention-seeking behaviors.

If the person is experiencingdepression, or may be struggling with something like bipolar disorder, having a friend to talk to might not be enough. In this case, helping your loved one understand that psychological help may be necessary, and helping them find it, is of utmost value.

Unfortunately, treating personality disorders is more complicated because these are considered lifelong disorders, and many people who have personality disorders are resistant to treatment. However, treatment—in the form of psychotherapy, medication, and lifestyle changes—can be very effective in managing a personality disorder.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Definition, Techniques, and Benefits

If you are the person who is exhibiting attention-seeking behavior and you are wondering what to do, just realizing that something is amiss is a wonderful first step. Many people with this behavior are reluctant to admit they are acting inappropriately, and may not seek help.

Therapy or counseling is a great place to start if you are seeking help for this behavior. Importantly, if you are experiencing a bout of very low self-esteem or if you are experiencing self-harm or thoughts of suicide, this is an emergency situation, and you should seek immediate care.

If you or someone you care about is having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

How Social Support Contributes to Psychological Health

Final Thoughts

Most of us look at attention-seeking behavior in a negative light, but that’s because we are focused on the behavior rather thanwhat is motivating the behavior. When we look at attention-seeking behavior through the right lens, we may realize that it’s often a call for help or a manifestation of a mental health issue.

Either way, it can be helpful not to take the behavior too personally and to try to take a morecompassionate, helpful tonewhen interacting with someone who is exhibiting this behavior. That being said, if someone is unwilling to change their behavior or seek help for it, or if this behavior is harming you in some way, it’s not something you need to put up with. Your mental health is important, too!

If you or a person in your life is showing signs of self-harm or suicidal ideation—even if it seems to be part of a need for extra attention—you should always take this seriously. Help is available, and emergency care is warranted.

Frequently Asked QuestionsHistrionic personality disorder is often associated with attention-seeking behaviors, which can include moodiness, emotionality, constant need for stimulation, unstable relationships, and a theatrical personality.An attention seeker may have a personality disorder, such as histrionic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. However, attention-seeking behavior can also be associated with other causes including poor self-esteem, narcissism, and loneliness.Attention-seeking is often associated with ADHD, although often misunderstood. ADHD characteristics such as impulsivity, inattention, and hyperactivity can lead to behaviors that are frequently misinterpreted as attention-seeking.

Histrionic personality disorder is often associated with attention-seeking behaviors, which can include moodiness, emotionality, constant need for stimulation, unstable relationships, and a theatrical personality.

An attention seeker may have a personality disorder, such as histrionic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. However, attention-seeking behavior can also be associated with other causes including poor self-esteem, narcissism, and loneliness.

Attention-seeking is often associated with ADHD, although often misunderstood. ADHD characteristics such as impulsivity, inattention, and hyperactivity can lead to behaviors that are frequently misinterpreted as attention-seeking.

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10 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Edwards F.An investigation of attention-seeking behavior through social media post framing.Athens Journal of Mass Media and Communications. 2017;3(1):25-44. doi:10.30958/ajmmc.3.1.2Don B, Girme Y, Hammond M.Low self-esteem predicts indirect support seeking and its relationship consequences in intimate relationships.Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 2019;45(7):1028-1041. doi:10.1177/0146167218802837American Psychiatric Association.What are personality disorders?American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision(DSM-5-TR); 2022. doi:10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787National Institute of Mental Health.Borderline personality disorder.Kaur S, Kaur S.Self-esteem and reactive aggression: An EMG biofeedback training approach.American Journal of Applied Psychology. 2021;10(2):49-54. doi:10.11648/j.ajap.20211002.13Huelsnitz C, Farrell A, Simpson J, Griskevicius V, Szepsenwol O.Attachment and jealousy: Understanding the dynamic experience of jealousy using the response escalation paradigm.Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 2018;44(12):1664-1680. doi:10.1177/0146167218772530American Psychiatric Association.What are disruptive, impulse-control and conduct disorders?National Institute of Mental Health.Bipolar disorder.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.What is ADHD?

10 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Edwards F.An investigation of attention-seeking behavior through social media post framing.Athens Journal of Mass Media and Communications. 2017;3(1):25-44. doi:10.30958/ajmmc.3.1.2Don B, Girme Y, Hammond M.Low self-esteem predicts indirect support seeking and its relationship consequences in intimate relationships.Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 2019;45(7):1028-1041. doi:10.1177/0146167218802837American Psychiatric Association.What are personality disorders?American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision(DSM-5-TR); 2022. doi:10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787National Institute of Mental Health.Borderline personality disorder.Kaur S, Kaur S.Self-esteem and reactive aggression: An EMG biofeedback training approach.American Journal of Applied Psychology. 2021;10(2):49-54. doi:10.11648/j.ajap.20211002.13Huelsnitz C, Farrell A, Simpson J, Griskevicius V, Szepsenwol O.Attachment and jealousy: Understanding the dynamic experience of jealousy using the response escalation paradigm.Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 2018;44(12):1664-1680. doi:10.1177/0146167218772530American Psychiatric Association.What are disruptive, impulse-control and conduct disorders?National Institute of Mental Health.Bipolar disorder.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.What is ADHD?

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Edwards F.An investigation of attention-seeking behavior through social media post framing.Athens Journal of Mass Media and Communications. 2017;3(1):25-44. doi:10.30958/ajmmc.3.1.2Don B, Girme Y, Hammond M.Low self-esteem predicts indirect support seeking and its relationship consequences in intimate relationships.Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 2019;45(7):1028-1041. doi:10.1177/0146167218802837American Psychiatric Association.What are personality disorders?American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision(DSM-5-TR); 2022. doi:10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787National Institute of Mental Health.Borderline personality disorder.Kaur S, Kaur S.Self-esteem and reactive aggression: An EMG biofeedback training approach.American Journal of Applied Psychology. 2021;10(2):49-54. doi:10.11648/j.ajap.20211002.13Huelsnitz C, Farrell A, Simpson J, Griskevicius V, Szepsenwol O.Attachment and jealousy: Understanding the dynamic experience of jealousy using the response escalation paradigm.Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 2018;44(12):1664-1680. doi:10.1177/0146167218772530American Psychiatric Association.What are disruptive, impulse-control and conduct disorders?National Institute of Mental Health.Bipolar disorder.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.What is ADHD?

Edwards F.An investigation of attention-seeking behavior through social media post framing.Athens Journal of Mass Media and Communications. 2017;3(1):25-44. doi:10.30958/ajmmc.3.1.2

Don B, Girme Y, Hammond M.Low self-esteem predicts indirect support seeking and its relationship consequences in intimate relationships.Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 2019;45(7):1028-1041. doi:10.1177/0146167218802837

American Psychiatric Association.What are personality disorders?

American Psychiatric Association.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision(DSM-5-TR); 2022. doi:10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787

National Institute of Mental Health.Borderline personality disorder.

Kaur S, Kaur S.Self-esteem and reactive aggression: An EMG biofeedback training approach.American Journal of Applied Psychology. 2021;10(2):49-54. doi:10.11648/j.ajap.20211002.13

Huelsnitz C, Farrell A, Simpson J, Griskevicius V, Szepsenwol O.Attachment and jealousy: Understanding the dynamic experience of jealousy using the response escalation paradigm.Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 2018;44(12):1664-1680. doi:10.1177/0146167218772530

American Psychiatric Association.What are disruptive, impulse-control and conduct disorders?

National Institute of Mental Health.Bipolar disorder.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.What is ADHD?

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