Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSigns of Feeling UnappreciatedDangers of Not Feeling AppreciatedWhat You Can Do

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Table of Contents

Signs of Feeling Unappreciated

Dangers of Not Feeling Appreciated

What You Can Do

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Everyone wants to feel like their significant other appreciates them. When your partner doesn’t acknowledge your efforts or makes you feel taken for granted, feeling undervalued is upsetting. But the relationship can still thrive, and you can work things out with your partner if you’re both committed to it.

One expectation in a relationship is to feel supported. That’s a valid and reasonableexpectation. You want to feel that in any circumstance, your partner has your back. When your partner ignores your needs and doesn’t give you therespectyou deserve, you want to question ifyou’re in an unhealthy relationship.

If you’re feeling like your partner doesn’t appreciate you, put away thesocial media.That pair you consider “couple goals” might look happy barbecuing in their backyard, but you don’t know their true story.

Rather than feelingsador rejected, see if you are experiencing the following as part of your romantic relationship.

Common signs of being unappreciated include:

What to Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Respect You

While your partner can’t meet every need, there has to be a give and take. Appreciation is critical in a relationship so you feel comfortable and safe. Otherwise, lack of appreciation could cause these outcomes.

Mental and Physical Health Concerns

Healthy, nurturing relationships foster good mental health.Furthermore, social strain and stressful interpersonal relationships can lead to chronic diseases like heart disease.

Blame

If you’re hurt and don’t feel like your partner cares, you might blame your partner and choose to pull away. You can put the relationship into a downward spiral. Or you pull away and youblameyourself for the problems in the relationship.

Resentment

Before long, you mighthold a grudge. Because he didn’t tell you he was going away for the weekend, you’re not going to answer his question about where his basketball is. If you’re filled with bitterness, you’re stillruminatingabout the negative situation.

Emotional Damage

You don’t want to be in aone-sided relationshipwhere your significant other doesn’t appreciate you. But if you withdraw emotionally and isolate yourself, you might develop a sense ofworthlessness. The emotional damage has negatively impacted you and compromised the relationship.

What You Can Do If You Don’t Feel Appreciated

Rather than have these negative outcomes, there are steps you can take with your partner to get the relationship back on track. Here are some things you can do:

Open the doors of communication

Talk about the problem with your partner calmly and honestly. Ideally, you can work together towards resolving the issue and figuring out ways your partner can make you feel appreciated. They could be very small actions like kissing you good morning or thanking you for doing the dishes.

Model appreciation

Maybe neither one of you is appreciating the other. Re-focus on the positive things your partner is doing. By giving more energy to what your partner is doing right, like sharing the story of how he helped carry groceries for the elderly neighbor or brought home your favorite flavor of ice cream, you can focus onways to make your relationship better.

Express gratitude

Gratitude strengthens and enhances our relationships.Also,gratitude makes you happier. When you appreciate, you acknowledge or recognize something. When you show gratitude, you’re in affective mode and you feel thankful.

In a recent study, scientists asked 120 newlywed couples to report their feelings and expressions of gratitude for their partner every year for 2 years and their marital satisfaction every 4 months for 3 years. Results suggested that low gratitude in one partner acts as a weak link that is capable of disrupting both partners' relationship satisfaction.

Look objectively and evaluate

Maybe your partner shows you his appreciation in actions not in words. You’re wanting to hear that he noticed you woke early to clean the kitchen, but your partner’slove languageis touch. So, he touches your shoulder and smiles at you without saying the words of acknowledgment

You might ask yourself how you show appreciation to your partner? What is your ownmotivationfor giving? Is it for recognition or because you feel like you owe your partner? Once you objectively evaluate the situation, you might realize that you haven’t been very appreciative either.

Make yourself a priority

You might have noticed you’re more upset with your partner when you yourself are overwhelmed. Get into the right mindset and give yourself self-care. You might choose to establish some new boundaries and prioritize yourself a little more.

Seek out professional intervention

Couples counseling can help you reclaim your relationship. This type of counseling can strengthen your emotional bond and give you the tools that will help you both cooperate and communicate better.

The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cerrato J, Cifre E.Gender Inequality in Household Chores and Work-Family Conflict.Front Psychol. 2018;9:1330. Published 2018 Aug 3. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01330Waldinger RJ, Schulz MS.What’s love got to do with it? Social functioning, perceived health, and daily happiness in married octogenarians. Psychol Aging. 2010 Jun;25(2):422-31. doi:10.1037/a0019087American Heart Association.Managing Stress to Control High Blood PressureMcNulty JK, Dugas A.A dyadic perspective on gratitude sheds light on both its benefits and its costs: Evidence that low gratitude acts as a “weak link”.J Fam Psychol. 2019;33(7):876-881. doi:10.1037/fam0000533

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cerrato J, Cifre E.Gender Inequality in Household Chores and Work-Family Conflict.Front Psychol. 2018;9:1330. Published 2018 Aug 3. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01330Waldinger RJ, Schulz MS.What’s love got to do with it? Social functioning, perceived health, and daily happiness in married octogenarians. Psychol Aging. 2010 Jun;25(2):422-31. doi:10.1037/a0019087American Heart Association.Managing Stress to Control High Blood PressureMcNulty JK, Dugas A.A dyadic perspective on gratitude sheds light on both its benefits and its costs: Evidence that low gratitude acts as a “weak link”.J Fam Psychol. 2019;33(7):876-881. doi:10.1037/fam0000533

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Cerrato J, Cifre E.Gender Inequality in Household Chores and Work-Family Conflict.Front Psychol. 2018;9:1330. Published 2018 Aug 3. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01330Waldinger RJ, Schulz MS.What’s love got to do with it? Social functioning, perceived health, and daily happiness in married octogenarians. Psychol Aging. 2010 Jun;25(2):422-31. doi:10.1037/a0019087American Heart Association.Managing Stress to Control High Blood PressureMcNulty JK, Dugas A.A dyadic perspective on gratitude sheds light on both its benefits and its costs: Evidence that low gratitude acts as a “weak link”.J Fam Psychol. 2019;33(7):876-881. doi:10.1037/fam0000533

Cerrato J, Cifre E.Gender Inequality in Household Chores and Work-Family Conflict.Front Psychol. 2018;9:1330. Published 2018 Aug 3. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01330

Waldinger RJ, Schulz MS.What’s love got to do with it? Social functioning, perceived health, and daily happiness in married octogenarians. Psychol Aging. 2010 Jun;25(2):422-31. doi:10.1037/a0019087

American Heart Association.Managing Stress to Control High Blood Pressure

McNulty JK, Dugas A.A dyadic perspective on gratitude sheds light on both its benefits and its costs: Evidence that low gratitude acts as a “weak link”.J Fam Psychol. 2019;33(7):876-881. doi:10.1037/fam0000533

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