What to Do When You Need Someone to Talk To

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsReasons to TalkBenefitsHow to Find Someone to Talk ToCoping With Obstacles

Table of ContentsView All

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Table of Contents

Reasons to Talk

Benefits

How to Find Someone to Talk To

Coping With Obstacles

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If you’ve ever thought, “I need someone to talk to,” it can be challenging to know where to start. If you need someone to talk to, friends and family are one option. Online forums, support groups, therapists, clubs, hotlines, and religious organizations can also be helpful.

“Having open conversations with others is invaluable for mental health. It provides emotional support, diverse perspectives,validation, and coping strategies and helps break down the barriers associated with mental health,” explainsStacey Neal, MD, a psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente in Baltimore, Maryland.

At a GlanceNeed to talk to someone but not sure where to start? It can feel overwhelming when you feel alone and don’t know where to turn, but there are people and resources out there to lend a hand (and an ear). Whether you’re looking for a trusted friend, a mental health professional, or just someone who can listen without judgment, knowing your options is essential. Reaching out isn’t always easy, but it’s also one of the best things you can do for your mental health. From hotlines to online communities to therapy, there are many ways to find the right person to talk to. Here’s what you can do to make sense of your options and get the support you’re looking for.

At a Glance

Need to talk to someone but not sure where to start? It can feel overwhelming when you feel alone and don’t know where to turn, but there are people and resources out there to lend a hand (and an ear). Whether you’re looking for a trusted friend, a mental health professional, or just someone who can listen without judgment, knowing your options is essential. Reaching out isn’t always easy, but it’s also one of the best things you can do for your mental health. From hotlines to online communities to therapy, there are many ways to find the right person to talk to. Here’s what you can do to make sense of your options and get the support you’re looking for.

Reasons You Might Need Someone to Talk To

Everyone feels lonely sometimes, but it can be particularly challenging if your support system is limited or if you feel like your friends and family won’t understand. There are a variety of reasons you might think, “I need someone to talk to.” Some of these include:

No matter what you’re going through at the moment,connecting and communicating with othersis the key to living well, especially if you’re struggling with an illness,depression,addiction, the loss of a loved one, or even justloneliness. For this reason, it’s important to know what to do and where to look when you need to talk.

Whether through friends, support groups, or therapists, I wholeheartedly encourage and support open dialogues to promote mental well-being.—STACEY NEAL, MD, PSYCHIATRIST AT KAISER PERMANENTE IN BALTIMORE, MD

Whether through friends, support groups, or therapists, I wholeheartedly encourage and support open dialogues to promote mental well-being.

—STACEY NEAL, MD, PSYCHIATRIST AT KAISER PERMANENTE IN BALTIMORE, MD

Trying to bury your feelings, grit your teeth, and go it alone is rarely effective. Your emotions and feelings are there whether you talk about them or not. Difficult emotions will not simply go away just because you ignore them.

But if you try to talk to another person, you may be able to release some of the tension and negativity you’re experiencing and feel better.

Benefits of Talking to Others

Finding someone to talk to not only provides connection, comfort, and understanding but also offers opportunities to talk about shared experiences as well as prevent feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Stress Relief and Friendship Building

Consequently, talking to another personrelieves stressand helpsbuild friendshipsand connections.

Talking things over with other people also aids indecision-makingand provides an avenue to process your thoughts and feelings. Talking also exposes you to new perspectives and ideas and helps withproblem-solving. In fact, there are a number of powerful psychological benefits to talking.

According to research from UCLA, talking can diminish the response of your brain’s amygdala, which initiates the"fight or flight" responsewhen you’re feeling intense emotions like fear, anxiety, or aggression.

As a result, when you get stressed out or overwhelmed, this part of your brain takes control and can even override your more logical thought processes.

Just Labeling Your Emotions Can Help

“We all need a shoulder to lean on during challenging times. Having a trusted individual to confide in provides much-needed emotional support. Expressing feelings, fears, and worries to someone, who genuinely listens and cares, can alleviate stress and loneliness and improve mental well-being,” Neal says.

Greater Insight and Growth

Talking to someone else is also a great way to gain insights and hear other perspectives that can help promote learning and growth, Neal also explains. When people share their experiences, they can get advice from others who have maybe been in the same situation.

Such suggestions can be invaluable, aiding people in navigating difficult situations. “These conversations can shed light on options they might not have considered, fostering growth andresilience,” Neal suggests.

She also suggests that these conversations and connections can foster coping skills that help people become more resilient in the face of future difficulties. Friends and other supportive people can help in this regard, as can working with a mental health professional.

Talking about your specific challenges with your therapist allows you to get feedback, brainstorm solutions, and feel more confident in your responses.

Friendships May Add Years to Your Life

Research also suggests that having strong social ties, or people you can talk to, is linked to a longer life. In contrast, social isolation and loneliness are linked to depression, poorer health outcomes, and risk of premature death.

Additionally, having a variety of social relationships may help reduce stress and heart-related risks.So, it’s important to find people you can share things with.

Too many times, though, people are reluctant to reach out to others to talk despite the many benefits. Either they allow fear and shame to keep them silent, or they don’t know how to reach out.

Sometimes, they allow work or family obligations to get in the way of any real connection with others. Before long, they feel lonely and isolated and don’t have anyone to talk to.

RecapHaving someone to talk to has important physical and mental health benefits, but there are sometimes obstacles that make it harder to find a confidant.

Recap

Having someone to talk to has important physical and mental health benefits, but there are sometimes obstacles that make it harder to find a confidant.

Unfortunately, some people feel like they have few people to talk to. People who live far from family, are single, or don’t have a best friend may be more likely to feel this way.

It is becoming increasingly common for people to report having few friends. One report found that 27% of millennial-aged adults report having no close friends.

Even if you feel like you have limited close friendships, the reality is that there are probably more people in your life that would lend a friendly, supportive ear than you might think. In fact, it may be easier to find someone to talk to when you need it if you know where to look. Here are some ways you can find someone to talk to.

Make a List of Social Connections

Then, try to determine who on your list is not onlyemotionally intelligentbut also emotionally skilled. Typically, people with these skills tend to be much easier to talk to because they areempathetic. Once you have a list of possibilities, reach out to them and invite them for coffee or to go for a walk.

It’s important to note that you may have to take it slow with newer relationships. You may not be able to talk about your deepest feelings right from the start of a new friendship. With time, though, you can build trust with one another and start sharing more intimate details about your life.

Building a list of social connections is not ideal if you’re in a crisis and need to talk to someone right away, but it is an important part of building a support system.

How to Cope With Loneliness

Join an Online Forum or Chat

During those times when you feel like you need to talk with someone right away, you might want to consider an online forum or chat with a group tailored to your needs.

Aside from providing you with people who understand what you’re struggling with, you also have the option of sharing details anonymously.

Sometimes people really appreciate the immediacy of an online forum or chat. Plus, communicating online can help take away any apprehension and help people withsocial anxietyrelax and share.

How Can I Find Support Groups Near Me?

Participate in a Support Group

One way to build your support system is to join a support group. Whether it’s anonline groupor a group that meets in person, both options provide you with a network of people who can relate to what you’re experiencing.

Neal recommends reaching out to local support groups and community organizations that are focused on specific mental health concerns. These groups often host regular weekly meetings where you can connect with people who share similar issues.

It’s worth reaching out to these organizations and asking about the services they offer, their meeting schedules, and how you can get involved. Taking that first step to connect with them could open up a whole new world of support and companionship.—STACEY NEAL, MD, PSYCHIATRIST AT KAISER PERMANENTE IN BALTIMORE, MD

It’s worth reaching out to these organizations and asking about the services they offer, their meeting schedules, and how you can get involved. Taking that first step to connect with them could open up a whole new world of support and companionship.

There, you will be able to get the support and understanding that you need as well as offer support to others in similar situations.

Research has found that support groups can help decrease feelings of anxiety and depression as well as improve overall well-being.

The Best Online Group Therapy, Tried and Tested

Work With a Therapist

Whether you need to discuss a mental health issue, want helpmanaging your stress, or just need to find ways to be more mentally healthy, a good therapist can help you make sense of your feelings and emotions.

Therapists can help you develop healthier coping mechanisms and may even be able to provide input onhow to build a support network.

If you don’t have insurance or if your insurance doesn’t cover mental health services, some counselors and therapists work on a sliding fee scale.

The 8 Best Online Therapy Services that Accept Insurance, Tried and Tested

Consider Online Therapy or Therapy Apps

You may also want to check outonline therapyproviders. In addition to being more conducive to busy schedules, these options are sometimes more affordable.

Neal also suggests trying online counseling options or therapy apps. Such platforms offer a convenient and accessible way to get professional help. She recommends working with reputable apps and platforms that can connect you with a licensed professional who specializes in an area suited to your needs.

Digital self-care tools you might find helpful includeCalm,myStrength, orGinger.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. Find out which option is the best for you.

How to Pick the Right Therapist for You

Participate in a Group

A great way to make connections and meet new people is to join a group. Once there, you will meet people with similar passions and desires and you may be more likely to meet someone with whom you can build alasting friendship.

Plus, attending regular meetings and events with the group provides the opportunity to socialize and have a casual conversation.

Contact a Hotline

If you are in crisis, it’s important to get help right away. For this reason, never hesitate to call a hotline. Regardless of your need, there are crisis lines with trained advocates to help you.

Even if you can’t find someone to talk to directly, helplines can still provide valuable support and help you explore additional options for assistance.—STACEY NEAL, MD, PSYCHIATRIST AT KAISER PERMANENTE IN BALTIMORE, MD

Even if you can’t find someone to talk to directly, helplines can still provide valuable support and help you explore additional options for assistance.

Many times, they will listen and chat with you for as long as you need. Whether you want help with drug addiction,domestic violence, an eating disorder, or even thoughts ofsuicide, there are people available to talk almost any time of day.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Visit a Place of Worship

Churches, mosques, and synagogues are a great place to find someone to talk with. Often, religious leaders are more than happy to talk with people in crisis or in need. So, you may want to look to your local church or synagogue as a possible resource.

Even if you don’t have a religious affiliation right now, you may want to pursue different options and see if there is a place of worship that fits with your values and beliefs.

In fact, research has shown that people who attend religious services regularly have a greater number of social ties and connections.They also tend to report more positive social interactions and benefit from regular attendance than those who attend less frequently.

How Spirituality Can Benefit Your Health and Well-Being

It’s not uncommon to feel like you have no one to talk to. Trust us, we all feel that way sometimes. The thing is, we don’t even have to be alone to feel lonely. You could feel alone and isolated at a party, work, home, or even while spending time with friends.

Common barriers to perceived social support can include stigma, lack of access, poor self-esteem, life transitions, and mental health challenges. For example,social withdrawalcan be a symptom of depression, making it harder to find connections that foster better emotional well-being.

Finding people to talk to, however, can help reducemental health stigma. “By encouraging open and supportive conversations, we can create a safe space for individuals to seek help without fear of judgment. These conversations help normalize mental health struggles, leading to increased awareness, acceptance, and ultimately better mental well-being for all,” Neal explains.

Other strategies that Neal recommends to help increase social connection and combat loneliness include:Inviting a friend or neighbor to start a walking routineJoining or starting a book clubPlanning a family get-togetherGoing to a park, library, or coffee shop to read the newsVolunteer for a cause you care aboutAttending a local senior center

Other strategies that Neal recommends to help increase social connection and combat loneliness include:

The important thing is that you try to build a support system of people you can turn to when you need to talk. Ideally, this support system will comprise friends, family members, trained professionals, and others with similar struggles. In time, feeling like you have no one to talk with will seem like a distant memory.

Takeaways

If you feel like you need someone to talk to, it’s important to find ways to reach out and get the support you need. We all feel alone from time to time. When you feel that way, remember that there are people out there who can help. The folks in your existing social network can be a great place to start, but you might also consider cultivating new connections, online support groups, working with a therapist, or trying online therapy or apps. Hotlines are also an option if you need someone to talk to right now. Remember, you’re not alone.

The Best Online Help Resources for Depression

11 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.U.S. Surgeon General.Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, 2023.Milek A, Butler EA, Tackman AM, et al.“Eavesdropping on happiness” revisited: A pooled, multisample replication of the association between life satisfaction and observed daily conversation quantity and quality.Psychol Sci. 2018;29(9):1451-1462. doi:10.1177/0956797618774252Torre JB, Lieberman MD.Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation.Emotion Review. 2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706Yang YC, Boen C, Gerken K, Li T, Schorpp K, Harris KM.Social relationships and physiological determinants of longevity across the human life span.Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2016;113(3):578-583. doi:10.1073/pnas.1511085112National Institute of Health.Do social ties affect our health?.Cox DA.The state of American friendship: Change, challenges, and loss. Survey Center on American Life.Pendry LF, Salvatore J.Individual and social benefits of online discussion forums.Computers in Human Behavior. 2015;50:211-220. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2015.03.067Tracy K, Wallace SP.Benefits of peer support groups in the treatment of addiction.Subst Abuse Rehabil. 2016;7:143-154. doi:10.2147/SAR.S81535Magnani D, Lenoci G, Balduzzi S, Artioli G, Ferri P.Effectiveness of support groups to improve the quality of life of people with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis a pre-post test pilot study.Acta Biomed. 2017;88(5S):5-12. doi:10.23750/abm.v88i5-S.6870Hastings OP.Not a lonely crowd? Social connectedness, religious service attendance, and the spiritual but not religious.Soc Sci Res. 2016;57:63-79. doi:10.1016/j.ssresearch.2016.01.006Elmer T, Stadtfeld C.Depressive symptoms are associated with social isolation in face-to-face interaction networks.Sci Rep. 2020;10(1):1444. doi:10.1038/s41598-020-58297-9

11 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.U.S. Surgeon General.Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, 2023.Milek A, Butler EA, Tackman AM, et al.“Eavesdropping on happiness” revisited: A pooled, multisample replication of the association between life satisfaction and observed daily conversation quantity and quality.Psychol Sci. 2018;29(9):1451-1462. doi:10.1177/0956797618774252Torre JB, Lieberman MD.Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation.Emotion Review. 2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706Yang YC, Boen C, Gerken K, Li T, Schorpp K, Harris KM.Social relationships and physiological determinants of longevity across the human life span.Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2016;113(3):578-583. doi:10.1073/pnas.1511085112National Institute of Health.Do social ties affect our health?.Cox DA.The state of American friendship: Change, challenges, and loss. Survey Center on American Life.Pendry LF, Salvatore J.Individual and social benefits of online discussion forums.Computers in Human Behavior. 2015;50:211-220. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2015.03.067Tracy K, Wallace SP.Benefits of peer support groups in the treatment of addiction.Subst Abuse Rehabil. 2016;7:143-154. doi:10.2147/SAR.S81535Magnani D, Lenoci G, Balduzzi S, Artioli G, Ferri P.Effectiveness of support groups to improve the quality of life of people with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis a pre-post test pilot study.Acta Biomed. 2017;88(5S):5-12. doi:10.23750/abm.v88i5-S.6870Hastings OP.Not a lonely crowd? Social connectedness, religious service attendance, and the spiritual but not religious.Soc Sci Res. 2016;57:63-79. doi:10.1016/j.ssresearch.2016.01.006Elmer T, Stadtfeld C.Depressive symptoms are associated with social isolation in face-to-face interaction networks.Sci Rep. 2020;10(1):1444. doi:10.1038/s41598-020-58297-9

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

U.S. Surgeon General.Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, 2023.Milek A, Butler EA, Tackman AM, et al.“Eavesdropping on happiness” revisited: A pooled, multisample replication of the association between life satisfaction and observed daily conversation quantity and quality.Psychol Sci. 2018;29(9):1451-1462. doi:10.1177/0956797618774252Torre JB, Lieberman MD.Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation.Emotion Review. 2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706Yang YC, Boen C, Gerken K, Li T, Schorpp K, Harris KM.Social relationships and physiological determinants of longevity across the human life span.Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2016;113(3):578-583. doi:10.1073/pnas.1511085112National Institute of Health.Do social ties affect our health?.Cox DA.The state of American friendship: Change, challenges, and loss. Survey Center on American Life.Pendry LF, Salvatore J.Individual and social benefits of online discussion forums.Computers in Human Behavior. 2015;50:211-220. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2015.03.067Tracy K, Wallace SP.Benefits of peer support groups in the treatment of addiction.Subst Abuse Rehabil. 2016;7:143-154. doi:10.2147/SAR.S81535Magnani D, Lenoci G, Balduzzi S, Artioli G, Ferri P.Effectiveness of support groups to improve the quality of life of people with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis a pre-post test pilot study.Acta Biomed. 2017;88(5S):5-12. doi:10.23750/abm.v88i5-S.6870Hastings OP.Not a lonely crowd? Social connectedness, religious service attendance, and the spiritual but not religious.Soc Sci Res. 2016;57:63-79. doi:10.1016/j.ssresearch.2016.01.006Elmer T, Stadtfeld C.Depressive symptoms are associated with social isolation in face-to-face interaction networks.Sci Rep. 2020;10(1):1444. doi:10.1038/s41598-020-58297-9

U.S. Surgeon General.Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, 2023.

Milek A, Butler EA, Tackman AM, et al.“Eavesdropping on happiness” revisited: A pooled, multisample replication of the association between life satisfaction and observed daily conversation quantity and quality.Psychol Sci. 2018;29(9):1451-1462. doi:10.1177/0956797618774252

Torre JB, Lieberman MD.Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation.Emotion Review. 2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706

Yang YC, Boen C, Gerken K, Li T, Schorpp K, Harris KM.Social relationships and physiological determinants of longevity across the human life span.Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2016;113(3):578-583. doi:10.1073/pnas.1511085112

National Institute of Health.Do social ties affect our health?.

Cox DA.The state of American friendship: Change, challenges, and loss. Survey Center on American Life.

Pendry LF, Salvatore J.Individual and social benefits of online discussion forums.Computers in Human Behavior. 2015;50:211-220. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2015.03.067

Tracy K, Wallace SP.Benefits of peer support groups in the treatment of addiction.Subst Abuse Rehabil. 2016;7:143-154. doi:10.2147/SAR.S81535

Magnani D, Lenoci G, Balduzzi S, Artioli G, Ferri P.Effectiveness of support groups to improve the quality of life of people with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis a pre-post test pilot study.Acta Biomed. 2017;88(5S):5-12. doi:10.23750/abm.v88i5-S.6870

Hastings OP.Not a lonely crowd? Social connectedness, religious service attendance, and the spiritual but not religious.Soc Sci Res. 2016;57:63-79. doi:10.1016/j.ssresearch.2016.01.006

Elmer T, Stadtfeld C.Depressive symptoms are associated with social isolation in face-to-face interaction networks.Sci Rep. 2020;10(1):1444. doi:10.1038/s41598-020-58297-9

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