Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy You’re Unhappy With a RelationshipEmotional ImpactHow to Improve Your RelationshipFrequently Asked Questions

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Why You’re Unhappy With a Relationship

Emotional Impact

How to Improve Your Relationship

Frequently Asked Questions

Close

If you are unhappy with your relationship, it can be difficult to admit, even to yourself. Whether it’s constant fights, agrowing distance between the two of you, or just a gnawing feeling in your gut that something’s wrong, unhappiness can take different forms.

Partners in unhappy relationships tend to stay together because they hope things can return to how they used to be, or they try to change each other through criticism and critique, saysSabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.

This article explores the causes and consequences of being unhappy with a relationship, as well as some advice from a psychologist on how to improve it.

The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested

These are some of the reasons that could cause unhappiness in relationships, according to Romanoff:

Effects of Conflict and Stress on Relationships

Impact of Being Unhappy in a Relationship

Below, Romanoff explains how unhappiness can impact your relationship:

“If people in unhappy relationships were to do a cost-benefit analysis on their relationship, they would probably come out in a deficit,” says Romanoff.

How #CoupleGoals Affect Our Relationships

Improving Unhappy Relationships

Romanoff shares some strategies that can help you improve your relationship:

Making the Decision to End Your Marriage

Keep in Mind

Several factors can cause you to be unhappy in your relationship with your partner, leading to pain, conflict,negativity, and frustration. This can cause a downward spiral in your relationship, and also affect other aspects of your life, such as work.

If you are unhappy in your relationship, you need to identify the issues that are bothering you, discuss them with your partner, and work together to find solutions. If you feel like you need help, you can seek support from loved ones, or start going to a therapist orcouples counselor.

Eventually, you have to decide whether your relationship is worth saving. Taking some time apart can help you and your partner put things into perspective and make this decision.

Frequently Asked QuestionsIt is normal to feel unhappy in a relationship once in a while. All relationships have a natural ebb and flow, so there are bound to be times when you feel less satisfied or more conflicted.If you are always unhappy with your relationship or it is causing you considerable distress, it is important to figure out the cause, take steps to address it, or even consider re-evaluating the future of the relationship.Signs that you are unhappy in a relationship include:Always thinking you’d be better off with someone elseNot feeling attracted to your partner anymoreNot feeling safe in the relationship anymoreNot wanting to spend time with your partnerTaking steps to actively avoid your partnerLack of communicationFeeling like your relationship isone-sidedFeeling like you can’t be yourselfIf your partner won’t make any effort to address your concerns and repair the relationship, then it may be time to end things. There may also be times when you just feel that the relationship is no longer working. In that case, give yourself permission to end things and move on.

It is normal to feel unhappy in a relationship once in a while. All relationships have a natural ebb and flow, so there are bound to be times when you feel less satisfied or more conflicted.If you are always unhappy with your relationship or it is causing you considerable distress, it is important to figure out the cause, take steps to address it, or even consider re-evaluating the future of the relationship.

It is normal to feel unhappy in a relationship once in a while. All relationships have a natural ebb and flow, so there are bound to be times when you feel less satisfied or more conflicted.

If you are always unhappy with your relationship or it is causing you considerable distress, it is important to figure out the cause, take steps to address it, or even consider re-evaluating the future of the relationship.

Signs that you are unhappy in a relationship include:Always thinking you’d be better off with someone elseNot feeling attracted to your partner anymoreNot feeling safe in the relationship anymoreNot wanting to spend time with your partnerTaking steps to actively avoid your partnerLack of communicationFeeling like your relationship isone-sidedFeeling like you can’t be yourself

Signs that you are unhappy in a relationship include:

If your partner won’t make any effort to address your concerns and repair the relationship, then it may be time to end things. There may also be times when you just feel that the relationship is no longer working. In that case, give yourself permission to end things and move on.

How Couples Therapy Can Improve Your Relationship

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kiecolt-Glaser JK, Wilson SJ.Lovesick: How Couples' Relationships Influence Health.Annu Rev Clin Psychol. 2017;13:421-443. doi:10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032816-045111Lambert NM, Fincham FD.Expressing gratitude to a partner leads to more relationship maintenance behavior.Emotion. 2011;11(1):52-60. doi:10.1037/a0021557

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kiecolt-Glaser JK, Wilson SJ.Lovesick: How Couples' Relationships Influence Health.Annu Rev Clin Psychol. 2017;13:421-443. doi:10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032816-045111Lambert NM, Fincham FD.Expressing gratitude to a partner leads to more relationship maintenance behavior.Emotion. 2011;11(1):52-60. doi:10.1037/a0021557

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Kiecolt-Glaser JK, Wilson SJ.Lovesick: How Couples' Relationships Influence Health.Annu Rev Clin Psychol. 2017;13:421-443. doi:10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032816-045111Lambert NM, Fincham FD.Expressing gratitude to a partner leads to more relationship maintenance behavior.Emotion. 2011;11(1):52-60. doi:10.1037/a0021557

Kiecolt-Glaser JK, Wilson SJ.Lovesick: How Couples' Relationships Influence Health.Annu Rev Clin Psychol. 2017;13:421-443. doi:10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032816-045111

Lambert NM, Fincham FD.Expressing gratitude to a partner leads to more relationship maintenance behavior.Emotion. 2011;11(1):52-60. doi:10.1037/a0021557

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?