What to Do if You’re Questioning Your Sexuality

The process of questioning sexuality is a profoundly personal experience that many people find themselves trying to navigate throughout life. It’s also (perhaps surprisingly) common — a recentGallup pollfound that more than 7% of the adult U.S. population identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or something else other than heterosexual (commonly referred to as LGBTQ). That’s more than double the number in 2012 when Gallup first began measuring it.The journey of self-exploration can be fraught with mixed emotions. People can feel anything from hesitation, to inquisitiveness, to trepidation, to fear — and many people even experience delight.For anyone trying to understand who they are in terms of their sexual orientation, the process can be a long road. If you or someone you care about has ever felt confused about sexuality, first and foremost, know that you’re not alone.Learning more can offer insight, resources, and support. Patience, education, honesty, and professional help with anLGBTQIA+ therapistare helpful to go through the process in a healthy way. In the end, keeping an open mind is crucial, and self-discovery is a journey that’s well worth exploring.

The process of questioning sexuality is a profoundly personal experience that many people find themselves trying to navigate throughout life. It’s also (perhaps surprisingly) common — a recentGallup pollfound that more than 7% of the adult U.S. population identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or something else other than heterosexual (commonly referred to as LGBTQ). That’s more than double the number in 2012 when Gallup first began measuring it.

The journey of self-exploration can be fraught with mixed emotions. People can feel anything from hesitation, to inquisitiveness, to trepidation, to fear — and many people even experience delight.

For anyone trying to understand who they are in terms of their sexual orientation, the process can be a long road. If you or someone you care about has ever felt confused about sexuality, first and foremost, know that you’re not alone.

Learning more can offer insight, resources, and support. Patience, education, honesty, and professional help with anLGBTQIA+ therapistare helpful to go through the process in a healthy way. In the end, keeping an open mind is crucial, and self-discovery is a journey that’s well worth exploring.

Take Time to Understand & Explore Your Feelings

If you’re questioning your sexuality, making time for introspection and exploration is important. Your personal journey will be most successful if you take the time to understand your feelings and thoughts on a deeper level. Rest assured, this range of emotions you’re feeling is normal. You might feel excitement one moment and frightened the next — these feelings are all part of the process.

Things to ask yourself

Educate Yourself on Different Sexual Orientations

If you’ve ever felt confused about sexuality, understanding the broad sexuality spectrum of sexual orientation is important. It may involve familiarizing yourself with various terms and concepts that define human sexuality.

The termsexual orientationisn’t confined to heterosexuality or homosexuality. It’s far more complex than this. Some are attracted to the opposite sex. Some people identify as bisexual, and bisexuality means they are drawn to both men and women. Others might recognize themselves as pansexual or queer, indicating they may be attracted to someone regardless of gender identity, or that they simply don’t identify with the “traditional” notation of sexual orientation, gender expression, or gender identity. You may also identify somewhere along theasexuality spectrum, meaning there is a certain lack of sexual attraction.

A note about fluidity

Beyond understanding the labels and categories, we must also acknowledge the concept of fluidity — which is simply recognizing that sexuality isn’t fixed.

Sexual fluidity accepts that attraction can change over time. It’s not unnatural for feelings toward specific genders to evolve throughout personal journeys — attractions can shift, whether due to environmental factors or internal growth. Learning about the diversity of sexual orientation can help create a safe space for exploration.

Seek Support

Anyone who’s exploring their sexuality orquestioning their gendershould find support. Often, the quickest and most accessible road to a support system can be through organizations dedicated to promotingLGBTQIA+ mental health— online communities and outreach programs are great options. Many organizations are committed to supporting people exploring their sexuality.

Explore Relationships & Experiences at Your Own PaceWhen questioning sexuality, giving yourself the time and space to explore relationships and experiences at your own pace is important. This journey is unique toyou, and there’s no right or wrong way to walk through it. Grant yourself the time, space, and permission to uncover what speaks to you and discover what you need to feel comfortable living your authentic truth.Other tips to keep in mind while on this journey:Experience sexual attraction authentically: As you come to terms with your sexuality, focus on accepting your attraction toward others. Be true to your authentic self, embrace your desires, and do so without judgment or shame. Remember — your feelings are valid.Create safe spaces for exploration: Exploring in a safe space means surrounding yourself with supportive, understanding people who respect your journey and offer a non-judgmental environment. This might be a close friend, a family member, or an LGBTQIA+ support group. Find places where you feel confident being yourself and don’t fear being mistreated or disrespected.Navigate same-gender relationships healthily: Navigating early same-gender relationships can be overwhelming. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this experience — seek out resources and support networks that provide guidance and are understanding. Connecting with others who’ve gone through similar experiences can help you find a sense of belonging.“It’s okay to take time to get to know someone and even date someone without coming out or declaring yourself LGBTQIA. Be patient with yourself and try to remember that it’syouridentity, and there is nothing wrong with you.”–Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple

Explore Relationships & Experiences at Your Own Pace

When questioning sexuality, giving yourself the time and space to explore relationships and experiences at your own pace is important. This journey is unique toyou, and there’s no right or wrong way to walk through it. Grant yourself the time, space, and permission to uncover what speaks to you and discover what you need to feel comfortable living your authentic truth.

Other tips to keep in mind while on this journey:

“It’s okay to take time to get to know someone and even date someone without coming out or declaring yourself LGBTQIA. Be patient with yourself and try to remember that it’syouridentity, and there is nothing wrong with you.”

Be Honest with What You Like & Don’t LikeThink of honesty as an emotional exercise. You can’t be honest with anyone until you’re comfortable being true to yourself. The process can be slow, but the results are worth the wait. Self-validation is instrumental in being able to live your life authentically.Don’t Feel Pressured into Labeling YourselfAvoid rushing to assign labels during your journey of self-discovery and exploration of sexuality. This processdoesn’trequire immediate labeling or definition, and you can choose when andhow to come out(if you want to).Look for Professional CounselingTherapy can play a prominent role in coming to terms with your sexuality. The key to using the therapy process successfully involves several components, including:Seeking professional help: A licensed therapist specializing in LGBTQIA+ issues can offer a safe space that’s less daunting. Learnhow to find an LGBTQIA+ therapistin our guide.Finding the right therapist: Selecting a mental health professional who respects and supports your process is crucial. This could mean seeking someone who’s experienced in working with those exploringgender identitiesand their sexuality.Online therapyplatforms like Talkspace match clients with therapists who are versed in sexual identity exploration. As an added bonus, online therapy offers flexibility, convenience, and affordability.Finding acceptance within yourself: The most essential part of your journey is understanding that your sexual orientation doesn’t define you. It’s just one part of what makes you unique. Embracing your identity means acknowledging all aspects of yourself without shame. You can practice emotional exercises such as mindfulness meditation and self-compassion techniques to cultivate self-acceptance. These practices can help alleviate anxiety and stress if you’re questioning your sexuality.“Questioning your sexuality is a normal part of maturing and understanding or defining your identity. Unfortunately, the media, and even friends and family, can provide incorrect information or information that tells an individual how to feel but does not help them understand or process these feelings. It’s important to seek professional help from someone who understands and can safely explain the process and provide guidance.”–Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple

Be Honest with What You Like & Don’t Like

Think of honesty as an emotional exercise. You can’t be honest with anyone until you’re comfortable being true to yourself. The process can be slow, but the results are worth the wait. Self-validation is instrumental in being able to live your life authentically.

Don’t Feel Pressured into Labeling Yourself

Avoid rushing to assign labels during your journey of self-discovery and exploration of sexuality. This processdoesn’trequire immediate labeling or definition, and you can choose when andhow to come out(if you want to).

Look for Professional Counseling

Therapy can play a prominent role in coming to terms with your sexuality. The key to using the therapy process successfully involves several components, including:

“Questioning your sexuality is a normal part of maturing and understanding or defining your identity. Unfortunately, the media, and even friends and family, can provide incorrect information or information that tells an individual how to feel but does not help them understand or process these feelings. It’s important to seek professional help from someone who understands and can safely explain the process and provide guidance.”

Embrace Your Identity & Find Self-AcceptanceQuestioning sexuality is a self-discovery journey full of extreme emotions and experiences. Understanding your feelings takes time, patience, and honesty. It begins with embracing your identity so you can learn to accept yourself.Finding support from friends, family, or a licensed therapist is crucial. If questioning your sexuality feels overwhelming, remember it’s OK not to have all the answers right now. The important thing is that you’re working toward being true to yourself.If you’re questioning your sexuality and looking for support, Talkspace is here for you. Questioning your sexuality is normal. In fact, it can lead to personal growth and increased self-awareness, allowing you to live the best, most authentic, happiest life you’ve ever imagined.  Getting there isn’t something you have to do alone. Reach out to Talkspace today to learn more.

Embrace Your Identity & Find Self-Acceptance

Questioning sexuality is a self-discovery journey full of extreme emotions and experiences. Understanding your feelings takes time, patience, and honesty. It begins with embracing your identity so you can learn to accept yourself.

Finding support from friends, family, or a licensed therapist is crucial. If questioning your sexuality feels overwhelming, remember it’s OK not to have all the answers right now. The important thing is that you’re working toward being true to yourself.

If you’re questioning your sexuality and looking for support, Talkspace is here for you. Questioning your sexuality is normal. In fact, it can lead to personal growth and increased self-awareness, allowing you to live the best, most authentic, happiest life you’ve ever imagined.  Getting there isn’t something you have to do alone. Reach out to Talkspace today to learn more.

Sources:

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