What to Do If You Want to Quit Going to Therapy for BPD

If you haveborderline personality disorder (BPD), it’s very common to feel like you want to quit therapy. In fact, it is quite natural to get frustrated with therapy or your therapist or to feel like psychotherapy is not working anymore. But many people leave therapy before they have reached their treatment goals—research shows that about 47 percent of people with BPD leave treatment prematurely. Quitting therapy is a big decision, so think through your reasons and your treatment goals.Consider Your Reasons for Wanting to Quit BPD TherapyBefore dropping out of therapy, think about your reasons for wanting to leave; you may find it helpful to write a list. Common causes include:You don’t feel like the therapy is workingYou don’t like yourtherapistYou don’t have time to attend sessionsYou think you’ve gotten better and are ready to go it aloneThe things you talk about in session are too emotional/intenseYou don’t think your therapist likes youYou think you will never get better no matter what you doYou believe your therapist is incompetentYou don’t have enough money to pay for sessionsTalk to Your TherapistNow that you have a list of your reasons for wanting to quit therapy, put a star next to the biggest reasons so that you can discuss them with your therapist.Perhaps you are embarrassed to discuss dropping out with your therapist because you don’t want to disappoint or offend him. Or maybe you don’t trust her enough to discuss it with her. Whatever your reason, addressing your concerns about therapy with your counselor may help.For instance, if you want to quit because of money or because of your schedule, your therapist could perhaps work out a payment plan or agree to meet you after her main office hours. She can also give you a referral toanother therapistif you feel like you’re not clicking with her or making enough progress.Don’t be afraid to begin this discussion. It’s highly unlikely that your therapist has not had a discussion such as this before. Therapy brings up many emotions, and it’s very common for people to want to give up or to feel that nothing will really help. Be as honest as you can be. Keep in mind that your therapist does what she does because she wants to help people.Is It the Disorder Talking?In some cases, the symptoms of BPD can convince you to quit therapy. If you experiencesplitting, you may view your therapist with suspicion or dislike which could cause you to drop out of therapy too early. People withdepressionas part of BPD can have periods of hopelessness and extremely low motivation, which can make them want to drop out of therapy as well.In both of these cases, a therapist can help you think through what is in your best interest versus what your disorder is “telling you” to do.The Best Online Therapy Services for Depression We Tried and TestedPros and Cons of Quitting TherapyAnother technique that can help you decide whether to drop out of therapy is called thepros and cons tool. This is a tool that is taught indialectical behavior therapyand can be a great way of thinking through many different kinds of decisions.Once you complete the pros and cons tool, think more about what direction you want to head in. Does quitting therapy still seem like a good idea? Or, is it becoming clearer that another path might make more sense? If quitting therapy still seems like the right choice, does this mean quitting therapy outright, or just changing therapists or the type of therapy you are receiving? Think through all of your options to make the best decision for you.The Bottom LineThe bottom line is that there are many reasons that people drop out of therapy and sometimes these are unavoidable. But sometimes people drop out of therapy prematurely without thinking it through and talking to their therapists about it. If you are sure that you need to drop out, consider otheravenues of treatment. And, whether you choose to continue working with a therapist or not, continue to work on yourskills for coping with borderline personality disorder.Finally, before leaving therapy, make sure you have asafety plan for BPDin place.Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Consider Your Reasons for Wanting to Quit BPD Therapy

Before dropping out of therapy, think about your reasons for wanting to leave; you may find it helpful to write a list. Common causes include:

Talk to Your Therapist

Now that you have a list of your reasons for wanting to quit therapy, put a star next to the biggest reasons so that you can discuss them with your therapist.

Perhaps you are embarrassed to discuss dropping out with your therapist because you don’t want to disappoint or offend him. Or maybe you don’t trust her enough to discuss it with her. Whatever your reason, addressing your concerns about therapy with your counselor may help.

For instance, if you want to quit because of money or because of your schedule, your therapist could perhaps work out a payment plan or agree to meet you after her main office hours. She can also give you a referral toanother therapistif you feel like you’re not clicking with her or making enough progress.

Don’t be afraid to begin this discussion. It’s highly unlikely that your therapist has not had a discussion such as this before. Therapy brings up many emotions, and it’s very common for people to want to give up or to feel that nothing will really help. Be as honest as you can be. Keep in mind that your therapist does what she does because she wants to help people.

Is It the Disorder Talking?

In some cases, the symptoms of BPD can convince you to quit therapy. If you experiencesplitting, you may view your therapist with suspicion or dislike which could cause you to drop out of therapy too early. People withdepressionas part of BPD can have periods of hopelessness and extremely low motivation, which can make them want to drop out of therapy as well.

In both of these cases, a therapist can help you think through what is in your best interest versus what your disorder is “telling you” to do.

The Best Online Therapy Services for Depression We Tried and Tested

Pros and Cons of Quitting Therapy

Another technique that can help you decide whether to drop out of therapy is called thepros and cons tool. This is a tool that is taught indialectical behavior therapyand can be a great way of thinking through many different kinds of decisions.

Once you complete the pros and cons tool, think more about what direction you want to head in. Does quitting therapy still seem like a good idea? Or, is it becoming clearer that another path might make more sense? If quitting therapy still seems like the right choice, does this mean quitting therapy outright, or just changing therapists or the type of therapy you are receiving? Think through all of your options to make the best decision for you.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that there are many reasons that people drop out of therapy and sometimes these are unavoidable. But sometimes people drop out of therapy prematurely without thinking it through and talking to their therapists about it. If you are sure that you need to drop out, consider otheravenues of treatment. And, whether you choose to continue working with a therapist or not, continue to work on yourskills for coping with borderline personality disorder.

Finally, before leaving therapy, make sure you have asafety plan for BPDin place.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Alesiani, R., Boccalon, S., Giarolli, L., Blum, N., and A. Fossati.Systems Training for Emotional Predictability and Problem Solving (STEPPS): Program Efficacy and Personality Features as Predictors of Drop-Out – an Italian Study.Comprehensive Psychiatry. 2014. 55(4):920-7.Khazaie, H., Rezaie, L., Shahdipour, N., and P. Weaver.Exploring the Reasons for Dropping Out of Psychotherapy: A Qualitative Study.Evaluation and Program Planning. 2016. 56:23-30.

Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Alesiani, R., Boccalon, S., Giarolli, L., Blum, N., and A. Fossati.Systems Training for Emotional Predictability and Problem Solving (STEPPS): Program Efficacy and Personality Features as Predictors of Drop-Out – an Italian Study.Comprehensive Psychiatry. 2014. 55(4):920-7.Khazaie, H., Rezaie, L., Shahdipour, N., and P. Weaver.Exploring the Reasons for Dropping Out of Psychotherapy: A Qualitative Study.Evaluation and Program Planning. 2016. 56:23-30.

Alesiani, R., Boccalon, S., Giarolli, L., Blum, N., and A. Fossati.Systems Training for Emotional Predictability and Problem Solving (STEPPS): Program Efficacy and Personality Features as Predictors of Drop-Out – an Italian Study.Comprehensive Psychiatry. 2014. 55(4):920-7.Khazaie, H., Rezaie, L., Shahdipour, N., and P. Weaver.Exploring the Reasons for Dropping Out of Psychotherapy: A Qualitative Study.Evaluation and Program Planning. 2016. 56:23-30.

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?

Consider Your Reasons for Wanting to Quit BPD Therapy#

Talk to Your Therapist#

Is It the Disorder Talking?#

Pros and Cons of Quitting Therapy#

The Bottom Line#

Get Help Now#