What to Do If You Don't Like Your Partner's Friends

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsTry to Figure Out Why You Dislike Your Partners' FriendsTalk to Your Partner About Your ConcernsSet BoundariesGet to Know Them BetterAgree to DisagreeTry to Not Let It Impact Your RelationshipSeek Out Your Own FriendsDon’t GossipKeep an Open MindFocus on the PositiveGive Yourself Some GraceDon’t Hang Out With Their FriendsTalk to a Therapist

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Try to Figure Out Why You Dislike Your Partners' Friends

Talk to Your Partner About Your Concerns

Set Boundaries

Get to Know Them Better

Agree to Disagree

Try to Not Let It Impact Your Relationship

Seek Out Your Own Friends

Don’t Gossip

Keep an Open Mind

Focus on the Positive

Give Yourself Some Grace

Don’t Hang Out With Their Friends

Talk to a Therapist

Close

It can be tricky if you find yourself thinking, “I don’t like my girlfriend’s friends,” or “I hate my husband’s friends.” After all, our partners need to have ahealthy social life. Unfortunately, no one said liking your partner’s friends would be easy.

Sometimes, it can seem downright impossible. But if you find yourself in a situation where you don’t see eye-to-eye with your partner’s friends, you’ll likely want to know what to do about it.

At a GlanceIt’s a complex problem—you love your partner but don’t like their friends. If you’re in this situation, try figuring out why you feel this way and see if there’s a way to resolve the issue. Talking to your partner, setting boundaries, getting to know them better, staying open-minded, and spending more time with your own friends are a few solutions. If your partner prioritizes their friends over you and refuses to consider your feelings, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.Below are some additional tips on how to deal with not liking your partner’s friends.

At a Glance

It’s a complex problem—you love your partner but don’t like their friends. If you’re in this situation, try figuring out why you feel this way and see if there’s a way to resolve the issue. Talking to your partner, setting boundaries, getting to know them better, staying open-minded, and spending more time with your own friends are a few solutions. If your partner prioritizes their friends over you and refuses to consider your feelings, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.Below are some additional tips on how to deal with not liking your partner’s friends.

It’s a complex problem—you love your partner but don’t like their friends. If you’re in this situation, try figuring out why you feel this way and see if there’s a way to resolve the issue. Talking to your partner, setting boundaries, getting to know them better, staying open-minded, and spending more time with your own friends are a few solutions. If your partner prioritizes their friends over you and refuses to consider your feelings, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

Below are some additional tips on how to deal with not liking your partner’s friends.

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The first step is to try and see things from their perspective. It’s possible that you’re simply misunderstanding their friends or that you’re seeing them in a negative light because you’re feelinginsecure about your relationship. If you can see things from a more objective perspective, it may help ease up on your dislike of them.

Of course, there are also times when your gut reaction is correct and you really don’t like your partner’s friends for good reason.

In that case, you’ll need tohave a talkwith your partner about it. Be honest about your feelings and explain why you don’t like their friends. If they’re worth keeping as friends, your partner should be willing to try to help you get along with them.

But it’s time to reevaluate things if your partner doesn’t seem to care about your feelings or they’re constantly choosing their friends over you. It may be time to end the relationship if your partner is unwilling to let you in andmake a compromise.

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This is an important step because your partner needs to be aware of the issues you’re having. They may not even realize that their friends are a problem for you. Once they know, they can be more mindful of the situation and try to help you feel more comfortable.

Research has found that talking about your feelings with your partner and having difficult conversations can have benefits. In addition to improving communication and resolving problems, it can help people cope more effectively and help make relationships more successful.

If being around their friends is too much for you, it’s important toset some boundaries. Research suggests that boundaries are essential for maintaininghealthy relationships.

Talk to your partner about how often you want to see their friends and stick to that plan. This way, you won’t feel overwhelmed or like you’re constantly having to be around people you don’t like.

Your Relationship Can’t Survive Without Boundaries—Here’s How to Set Them

This one can be tricky, but it’s worth a shot. Try toengage in conversationwith them and get to know their interests. You may not end up being best friends, but at least you’ll have a better understanding of who they are.

Your partner’s friends are likely important to them, and they’re not going to just drop them because you don’t like them.

So, try to be respectful and understanding of that. If you can’t see eye-to-eye with their friends,agree to disagree and move on.

It’s not worth ruining your relationship over something that isn’t going to change. What’s important is that you have a strong, healthy relationship with your partner.

It’s important to remember that your partner is separate from their friends. Just because you don’t like their friends doesn’t mean you have to dislike your partner.

Experts suggest that having good communication with your partner is one of the key predictors of how successful and satisfying your relationship will be.Keep thelines of communication openwith your partner, and try not to let the situation come between the two of you.

If all of this is too much for you and you’re struggling to deal with the situation, it’s important to find yourown support system. Research shows that having quality friendships can increase life satisfaction.

Spend time with your friends, do things that make you happy, and don’t put all of your focus on your partner and their friends. Having balance in your life will help you keep perspective and not get too wrapped up in the situation.

If you’re having a problem with one of your partner’s friends, talk to your partner and/or the friend about it directly. Don’tgossip or talk behind their back—this will only make the situation worse.

Your partner’s friends may not be your cup of tea right now, but that doesn’t mean they won’t change over time.

People grow and change all the time, so it’s possible that you could start to like their friends in the future.Keep an open mindand be willing to give them a chance.

It’s important tofocus on the positive, even if you don’t like your partner’s friends. Try to find one thing that you do like or appreciate about them. Maybe they’re really funny or they have a kind heart. Focusing on the good will make the situation more bearable and help you get through it.

Just because you don’t like your partner’s friends doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It’s normal to feel this way sometimes—after all, we’re not always compatible with everyone we meet.

One study identified five factors underlying friendships and showed that reciprocal candor was important, or the ability to talk easily with someone.

You may never get along if you have little in common with your partner’s friends. Don’t beat yourself up over this, and try to remember that it’s OK to feel this way.

If you simply can’t get along with them, it’s probably best toavoid social gatheringswhere they’ll be in attendance.

You don’t need to put yourself in a situation where you’re uncomfortable or unhappy. If your partner wants to spend time with their friends, let them go without you. You can use the time to do something you enjoy or hang out with your friends or loved ones.

If you’ve tried everything and you’re still struggling to deal with the situation, it may be time to seek professional help. Atherapistcan help you work through any issues you’re having and give you tools to deal with difficult situations. If your relationship is suffering because of the situation, they can also help you work on communication and conflict-resolution skills.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

What This Means For YouIf things don’t improve, it may be time to reconsider your relationship with your partner. No one wants to be in a relationship where they never feel comfortable around their partner’s friends. If this is the case, it may be best to end things before it gets too complicated.

What This Means For You

If things don’t improve, it may be time to reconsider your relationship with your partner. No one wants to be in a relationship where they never feel comfortable around their partner’s friends. If this is the case, it may be best to end things before it gets too complicated.

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6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Hogan JN, Crenshaw AO, Baucom KJW, Baucom BRW.Time spent together in intimate relationships: Implications for relationship functioning.Contemp Fam Ther. 2021;43(3):226-233. doi:10.1007/s10591-020-09562-6AlMahmoud T, Hashim MJ, Naeem N, Almahmoud R, Branicki F, Elzubeir M.Relationships and boundaries: Learning needs and preferences in clerkship medical environments.PLoS One. 2020;15(7):e0236145. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0236145Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Does couples’ communication predict marital satisfaction, or does marital satisfaction predict communication?: couple communication and marital satisfaction.Journal of Marriage and Family. 2016;78(3):680-694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zTestori M, Hemelrijk CK, Beersma B.Gossip promotes cooperation only when it is pro-socially motivated.Sci Rep. 2022;12(1):4790. Published 2022 Mar 21. doi:10.1038/s41598-022-08670-7Campbell K, Holderness N, Riggs M.Friendship chemistry: An examination of underlying factors.Soc Sci J. 2015;52(2):239-247. doi:10.1016/j.soscij.2015.01.005

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Hogan JN, Crenshaw AO, Baucom KJW, Baucom BRW.Time spent together in intimate relationships: Implications for relationship functioning.Contemp Fam Ther. 2021;43(3):226-233. doi:10.1007/s10591-020-09562-6AlMahmoud T, Hashim MJ, Naeem N, Almahmoud R, Branicki F, Elzubeir M.Relationships and boundaries: Learning needs and preferences in clerkship medical environments.PLoS One. 2020;15(7):e0236145. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0236145Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Does couples’ communication predict marital satisfaction, or does marital satisfaction predict communication?: couple communication and marital satisfaction.Journal of Marriage and Family. 2016;78(3):680-694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zTestori M, Hemelrijk CK, Beersma B.Gossip promotes cooperation only when it is pro-socially motivated.Sci Rep. 2022;12(1):4790. Published 2022 Mar 21. doi:10.1038/s41598-022-08670-7Campbell K, Holderness N, Riggs M.Friendship chemistry: An examination of underlying factors.Soc Sci J. 2015;52(2):239-247. doi:10.1016/j.soscij.2015.01.005

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Hogan JN, Crenshaw AO, Baucom KJW, Baucom BRW.Time spent together in intimate relationships: Implications for relationship functioning.Contemp Fam Ther. 2021;43(3):226-233. doi:10.1007/s10591-020-09562-6AlMahmoud T, Hashim MJ, Naeem N, Almahmoud R, Branicki F, Elzubeir M.Relationships and boundaries: Learning needs and preferences in clerkship medical environments.PLoS One. 2020;15(7):e0236145. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0236145Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Does couples’ communication predict marital satisfaction, or does marital satisfaction predict communication?: couple communication and marital satisfaction.Journal of Marriage and Family. 2016;78(3):680-694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zTestori M, Hemelrijk CK, Beersma B.Gossip promotes cooperation only when it is pro-socially motivated.Sci Rep. 2022;12(1):4790. Published 2022 Mar 21. doi:10.1038/s41598-022-08670-7Campbell K, Holderness N, Riggs M.Friendship chemistry: An examination of underlying factors.Soc Sci J. 2015;52(2):239-247. doi:10.1016/j.soscij.2015.01.005

Hogan JN, Crenshaw AO, Baucom KJW, Baucom BRW.Time spent together in intimate relationships: Implications for relationship functioning.Contemp Fam Ther. 2021;43(3):226-233. doi:10.1007/s10591-020-09562-6

AlMahmoud T, Hashim MJ, Naeem N, Almahmoud R, Branicki F, Elzubeir M.Relationships and boundaries: Learning needs and preferences in clerkship medical environments.PLoS One. 2020;15(7):e0236145. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0236145

Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Does couples’ communication predict marital satisfaction, or does marital satisfaction predict communication?: couple communication and marital satisfaction.Journal of Marriage and Family. 2016;78(3):680-694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301

Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-z

Testori M, Hemelrijk CK, Beersma B.Gossip promotes cooperation only when it is pro-socially motivated.Sci Rep. 2022;12(1):4790. Published 2022 Mar 21. doi:10.1038/s41598-022-08670-7

Campbell K, Holderness N, Riggs M.Friendship chemistry: An examination of underlying factors.Soc Sci J. 2015;52(2):239-247. doi:10.1016/j.soscij.2015.01.005

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