What to Consider When Dating a Single Mom

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsRecognize That It’s DifferentAccept That Her Kids Come FirstTake It SlowBe Honest and UpfrontOffer Emotional SupportBe TrustworthyStay FlexibleDon’t Discipline the ChildrenDon’t Pass JudgmentFrequently Asked Questions

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Recognize That It’s Different

Accept That Her Kids Come First

Take It Slow

Be Honest and Upfront

Offer Emotional Support

Be Trustworthy

Stay Flexible

Don’t Discipline the Children

Don’t Pass Judgment

Frequently Asked Questions

Close

Single parents bring unique perspectives, priorities, and life experiences to the table—and that can make them great partners. They’re often capable, smart, flexible, and know what they’re looking for in a relationship. Here’s what to do when dating a single mom—and how to take your relationship to thenext levelwithout getting overly involved too soon.

When you’re dating a single parent, this isn’t necessarily the case. They may not have the time to see you as often as you’d both like. Single parents' time is limited, and much of their energy goes toward taking care of their kids. You’ll need to look for other expressions of their feelings for you.

Another difference is that many single moms are much more clear about what they want in life. That can eliminate a lot of mystery and become an attractive quality in a relationship.

Dating Sites for Single Parents

Accept That Her Children Are Her First Priority

For single parents, their kids likely come first. It’s important to understand and accept this fact. A parent’s devotion to their children is admirable, and embracing it can help enrich the relationship and prevent you from becomingjealous.

Depending on the child’s age, they may be involved in a mother’s decision on whether or not to date. Children and single mothers often see their relationship with each other as highly intense and exclusive, and kids may experience some insecurity at the thought of their parent dating.

It’s important to respect that close relationship and allow your partner to navigate things in a way that makes them and their children feel comfortable.

Take It Slow When Dating a Single Mom

It’s important to give your relationship time to develop. Don’t rush into becoming a parental figure, moving in together, or getting engaged. Instead, take it slow and focus on developing trust before you take your relationship to the next level.

Are you looking to hook up or interested in a long-term partner? Is marriage a possibility? Do you see yourself co-raising kids? Most single parents want to know what type of commitment you’re looking for from them, and how much you’re willing to commit in return. Whatever the case, it’s best to be honest and communicative as you start dating.

Embracing honest communication right from the start can have another benefit for your relationship: It encouragesvulnerability, which can bring the two of you closer together.

Single moms are under a tremendous amount of pressure to provide for their children financially and emotionally. Be the kind ofpartner who can listenwithout trying to solve every problem. They will work it out in time. Offering support and encouragement will help you build a stronger bond.

Practicingactive listeningcan go a long way toward being an emotionally supportive partner. Active listening involves being fully present in a conversation. Active listeners are neutral and patient, and may ask questions for more clarification or summarize what was said to show that they understand. This can make your partner want to share more and speak longer, and it may strengthen your relationship as a result.

When Dating a Single Mom, Stay Flexible

Single moms have a lot of responsibilities. Between working and caring for their children, they have limited availability, which can sometimes make it hard to schedule (and keep) dates. If a sitter cancels at the last minute or a child gets sick, they may run late or need to cancel. Being a single parent also makes it hard to go on a spontaneous date, since childcare is always a top priority.

If you decide to date a single mom, you will need to be willing to be flexible and temper your disappointment when plans change.

5 Signs Dating a Single Parent Isn’t Right for You

If your new girlfriend has introduced you to their kids, it likely means that they’re serious about your relationship. Still, unless they specifically ask for your support,disciplining the kidswill likely remain off-limits to you.

When you’re dating a single mom, let them handle 100% of the discipline. If you have concerns about the kids’ behavior, talk with your girlfriend about it privately. Never attempt to handle the issue yourself without discussing it with them first.

If you have significant concerns about your mate’s approach to discipline, autonomy, or family dynamics, the relationship might not be the best fit for you, especially if you hope to one day have children of your own.

When Is a Stepparent Overstepping Boundaries?

It’s easy to come in from the outside and judge another person’s parenting choices, and single mothers often face scrutiny for having children outside of a traditional married couple.

This behavior will not be welcomed orhealthyfor your relationship. Instead of passing judgment, do your best to acknowledge that being a single parent is very difficult, and try to view their choices and lifestyle from a place of helpfulness, compassion, restraint, and curiosity.

Keep in Mind

You’re the only one who can know whether dating a single mom is right for you. Don’t get caught up in listening to family members or friends who will try to discourage you or suggest that they’re just looking for astepparentfigure. This is rarely the case.

Single parents are so much more than just parents. They are adults with personal needs of their own. Pay attention to the person and the relationship you’re building together.

Frequently Asked QuestionsSingle parents may arrange a sitter beforehand or wait until their child is away at a co-parent’s. Or, like any married couple, they may simply put the kids to bed and lock the door. If you’re worried about maintaining a healthy sex life with a single parent, communicate your concerns and be willing to stay flexible, as you may have to work around their schedule.You may face criticism from others about dating a single mother. Some of these critiques may be based on stereotypes, while other feedback could offer helpful insights into your relationship. Rather than only focusing on negative feedback from others, consider your own reasons for dating your partner, and look at whether or not your current relationship fits your lifestyle.A single parent will likely prioritize their children over being available for dates. Staying flexible and understanding your partner’s needs can go a long way in this type of relationship.You may face certain challenges when dating a single mother, such as if she has limited childcare options when you want time alone. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that dating a single mother is hard as every relationship has challenges in some shape or form.

Single parents may arrange a sitter beforehand or wait until their child is away at a co-parent’s. Or, like any married couple, they may simply put the kids to bed and lock the door. If you’re worried about maintaining a healthy sex life with a single parent, communicate your concerns and be willing to stay flexible, as you may have to work around their schedule.

You may face criticism from others about dating a single mother. Some of these critiques may be based on stereotypes, while other feedback could offer helpful insights into your relationship. Rather than only focusing on negative feedback from others, consider your own reasons for dating your partner, and look at whether or not your current relationship fits your lifestyle.

A single parent will likely prioritize their children over being available for dates. Staying flexible and understanding your partner’s needs can go a long way in this type of relationship.

You may face certain challenges when dating a single mother, such as if she has limited childcare options when you want time alone. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that dating a single mother is hard as every relationship has challenges in some shape or form.

5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kramer S.U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. Pew Research Center. December 12, 2019.Nixon E, Greene S, Hogan DM.Negotiating relationships in single-mother households: Perspectives of children and mothers.Fam Relat. 2012;61(1):142-156. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2011.00678.xSimon C.The functions of active listening responses.Behav Process. 2018;157:47-53. doi:10.1016/j.beproc.2018.08.013Peetz J, Kammrath L.Only because I love you: Why people make and why they break promises in romantic relationships.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2011;100(5):887-904. doi:10.1037/a0021857DeJean SL, McGeorge CR, Carlson TS.Attitudes toward never-married single mothers and fathers: Does gender matter?.J Fem Fam Ther. 2012;24(2):121-138. doi:10.1080/08952833.2012.648121

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kramer S.U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. Pew Research Center. December 12, 2019.Nixon E, Greene S, Hogan DM.Negotiating relationships in single-mother households: Perspectives of children and mothers.Fam Relat. 2012;61(1):142-156. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2011.00678.xSimon C.The functions of active listening responses.Behav Process. 2018;157:47-53. doi:10.1016/j.beproc.2018.08.013Peetz J, Kammrath L.Only because I love you: Why people make and why they break promises in romantic relationships.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2011;100(5):887-904. doi:10.1037/a0021857DeJean SL, McGeorge CR, Carlson TS.Attitudes toward never-married single mothers and fathers: Does gender matter?.J Fem Fam Ther. 2012;24(2):121-138. doi:10.1080/08952833.2012.648121

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Kramer S.U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. Pew Research Center. December 12, 2019.Nixon E, Greene S, Hogan DM.Negotiating relationships in single-mother households: Perspectives of children and mothers.Fam Relat. 2012;61(1):142-156. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2011.00678.xSimon C.The functions of active listening responses.Behav Process. 2018;157:47-53. doi:10.1016/j.beproc.2018.08.013Peetz J, Kammrath L.Only because I love you: Why people make and why they break promises in romantic relationships.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2011;100(5):887-904. doi:10.1037/a0021857DeJean SL, McGeorge CR, Carlson TS.Attitudes toward never-married single mothers and fathers: Does gender matter?.J Fem Fam Ther. 2012;24(2):121-138. doi:10.1080/08952833.2012.648121

Kramer S.U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. Pew Research Center. December 12, 2019.

Nixon E, Greene S, Hogan DM.Negotiating relationships in single-mother households: Perspectives of children and mothers.Fam Relat. 2012;61(1):142-156. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2011.00678.x

Simon C.The functions of active listening responses.Behav Process. 2018;157:47-53. doi:10.1016/j.beproc.2018.08.013

Peetz J, Kammrath L.Only because I love you: Why people make and why they break promises in romantic relationships.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2011;100(5):887-904. doi:10.1037/a0021857

DeJean SL, McGeorge CR, Carlson TS.Attitudes toward never-married single mothers and fathers: Does gender matter?.J Fem Fam Ther. 2012;24(2):121-138. doi:10.1080/08952833.2012.648121

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