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A cupioromantic is someone who experiences little or no romantic attraction yet desires aromantic relationship.Cupioromantics may want the closeness or camaraderie of a romantic partnership, but will not feel romance themselves.A more recent term, cupioromantic is a romantic orientation, not a sexual orientation, like heterosexual or homosexual. It is a subset ofaromanticism, or someone who feels little or no romantic attraction.At a GlanceCupioromantic is a micro-label orientation that describes someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction but desires a romantic relationship. A cupioromantic can fall in love but for reasons other than romance, such as companionship, the desire to have kids, or the exclusivity that comes with a relationship.It’s important to beself-awareas a cupioromantic and define your desires. That goes for the person you’re in a relationship with, as well. Being honest about what you want from a relationship is the most important thing.How Do I Know if I’m Cupioromantic?Cupioromantic comes from the prefix “cupio,” which means “desire” in Latin, and the suffix romantic.Cupioromantics have a desire for romance, however, they may not feel that kind of romantic attraction themselves.Cupioromantic was most likely coined in the 2010s and one of its pride flags wasn’t designed until 2020,so it became an official term relatively recently. Cupioromantics fall under the umbrella of aromanticism, notasexual, because they can feel sexual attraction, just not romantic attraction.In that vein, cupioromantics canfall in lovebut not for the romantic reasons that others might. For example, Mac Scotty McGregor, the co-founder and executive director of Positive Masculinity says that cupioromantics may desire companionship from a relationship. Other reasons may include someone to have kids with or wanting the exclusivity that comes with a relationship.McGregor brings up a story of a successful couple who had been together for approximately two years in which one person identified as a cupioromantic. They had navigated the ups and downs of their relationship well because they had “a lot of open communication,” including “if [the non-cupioromantic] partner felt like they needed something they weren’t getting, they learned to communicate that… and [the couple] looked for creative ways to meet that need.”How to Know If You’re AsexualEmbracing Self-DiscoveryIt’s important that those who identify with this orientation are self-aware and continually strive to understand their own needs. In a society that perpetuates the need for romance, in particular, cupioromantics must be self-aware enough to be able to define their desires, particularly those that may fall outside the norm.If you suspect you may be cupioromantic, here are some questions you can ask yourself:Do you get crushes?Throughout their lives, people who are cupioromantic have few or nocrusheson others.Do you enjoy romantic gestures?While cupioromantics like the idea of dating theoretically, in practice, the thought of romantic gestures makes them feel nothing or can even be a turn off.Do you enjoy the idea of romance?Cupioromantics like romance in theory. They can even enjoy romantic comedy movies or romance novels, but when it comes to themselves, they don’t think they could be in a relationship like that in their own life.Do you want a relationship but don’t feel romantic attraction?Cupioromantics like the idea of a romantic relationship for the closeness, sexual intimacy, or camaraderie it can bring but theydon’t experience romantic attractionfor other people.If you are a cupioromantic, it’s important that you embrace your unique feelings when it comes to romance. While your preferences may be different from the norm, that doesn’t make them any less valid.Navigating Relationships as a CupioromanticMany cupioromantics look for aromantic relationship, and there are unique joys and challenges to forming relationships as a cupioromantic individual.The challenges include that “society expects [romance] if you get into a relationship with someone” as McGregor says, leading to others, including the cupioromantic’s significant other, to become hesitant or pull away when they realize that the cupioromantic isn’t interested in romance.Mac Scotty McGregor, Executive Director at Positive MasculinityOn the positive side is the companionship, and you look for things you like to do together. That is a bond, it’s just not that tingly feelingAlso, McGregor says “if you know you are a cupioromantic, being upfront and honest about that when seeing people is crucial." To avoid misunderstandings, communicating openly and honestly about what you and your partner want from a relationship is paramount. That way there’s no misconceptions about what anyone, including the cupioromantic, wants.“On the positive side is the companionship, and you look for things you like to do together. That is a bond, it’s just not that tingly feeling," says McGregor.Cupioromantics can appreciate the closeness and compatibility that may come with having a partner, even if they don’tseek romance.The key to being able to have a relationship as a cupioromantic is to have enough self-awareness to express your desires even if they are not typical. Even if you aren’t sure if you are a cupioromantic, be honest with your partner about what you’re feeling.McGregor suggests asking questions to gauge the other person’s familiarity with the concept of cupioromanticism and ease them into the conversation. The more clearly you communicate, the more you can foster understanding and empathy and build connections based on emotional intimacy.Overcoming Stereotypes and MisconceptionsThere are many misconceptions surrounding cupioromanticism. For example, people may assume cupioromantics aren’t interested in sex, when cupioromantic refers to a romantic not a sexual orientation. Similarly people may confuse cupioromatics, people who want a romantic relationship but don’t feel that romantic attraction themselves, withlithromantics, people who feel romantic attraction but have no desire to have those feelings reciprocated.McGregor suggests that one of the major misconceptions of a partner’s understanding of cupioromantics is that they can change the cupioromantic to want romance. But cupioromanticism, like other romantic orientations, can’t be changed.Openconversationsabout diverse romantic orientations, including cupioromanticism, is important and it’s vital to respect a person’s individual experience with sex and romance. To foster acceptance and support for people with different romantic orientations, McGregeor advises:Educate yourself“The more we learn about different ways to identify, [the more] that broadens people’s perspectives,” says McGregor.Realize that we can all exist as one community“Somebody that’s different than us is no threat to us or the way we choose to live or how we identify,” McGregor explains. “It’s really about confidence because… when most people [take issue] with people who are different, it’s out of fear. With more exposure, people open up….”ConclusionCupioromanticism is just one more branch on the ever-evolving tree of romantic orientations. Cupioromantic means desire for romance, which is a good way to understand this orientation, someone who desires a romantic relationship but doesn’t feel romance themselves.Each of us is on a unique romantic journey and to appreciate our culture of diverse romantic orientations we must educate ourselves and realize we exist as one community. After all, whether we’re cupioromantic or a different orientation, we all want to be understood and accepted and we all deserve love.Glossary of Must-Know Sexual Identity Terms
A cupioromantic is someone who experiences little or no romantic attraction yet desires aromantic relationship.Cupioromantics may want the closeness or camaraderie of a romantic partnership, but will not feel romance themselves.
A more recent term, cupioromantic is a romantic orientation, not a sexual orientation, like heterosexual or homosexual. It is a subset ofaromanticism, or someone who feels little or no romantic attraction.
At a GlanceCupioromantic is a micro-label orientation that describes someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction but desires a romantic relationship. A cupioromantic can fall in love but for reasons other than romance, such as companionship, the desire to have kids, or the exclusivity that comes with a relationship.It’s important to beself-awareas a cupioromantic and define your desires. That goes for the person you’re in a relationship with, as well. Being honest about what you want from a relationship is the most important thing.
At a Glance
Cupioromantic is a micro-label orientation that describes someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction but desires a romantic relationship. A cupioromantic can fall in love but for reasons other than romance, such as companionship, the desire to have kids, or the exclusivity that comes with a relationship.It’s important to beself-awareas a cupioromantic and define your desires. That goes for the person you’re in a relationship with, as well. Being honest about what you want from a relationship is the most important thing.
Cupioromantic is a micro-label orientation that describes someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction but desires a romantic relationship. A cupioromantic can fall in love but for reasons other than romance, such as companionship, the desire to have kids, or the exclusivity that comes with a relationship.
It’s important to beself-awareas a cupioromantic and define your desires. That goes for the person you’re in a relationship with, as well. Being honest about what you want from a relationship is the most important thing.
How Do I Know if I’m Cupioromantic?
Cupioromantic comes from the prefix “cupio,” which means “desire” in Latin, and the suffix romantic.Cupioromantics have a desire for romance, however, they may not feel that kind of romantic attraction themselves.
Cupioromantic was most likely coined in the 2010s and one of its pride flags wasn’t designed until 2020,so it became an official term relatively recently. Cupioromantics fall under the umbrella of aromanticism, notasexual, because they can feel sexual attraction, just not romantic attraction.
In that vein, cupioromantics canfall in lovebut not for the romantic reasons that others might. For example, Mac Scotty McGregor, the co-founder and executive director of Positive Masculinity says that cupioromantics may desire companionship from a relationship. Other reasons may include someone to have kids with or wanting the exclusivity that comes with a relationship.
McGregor brings up a story of a successful couple who had been together for approximately two years in which one person identified as a cupioromantic. They had navigated the ups and downs of their relationship well because they had “a lot of open communication,” including “if [the non-cupioromantic] partner felt like they needed something they weren’t getting, they learned to communicate that… and [the couple] looked for creative ways to meet that need.”
How to Know If You’re Asexual
Embracing Self-Discovery
It’s important that those who identify with this orientation are self-aware and continually strive to understand their own needs. In a society that perpetuates the need for romance, in particular, cupioromantics must be self-aware enough to be able to define their desires, particularly those that may fall outside the norm.
If you suspect you may be cupioromantic, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
Do you get crushes?
Throughout their lives, people who are cupioromantic have few or nocrusheson others.
Do you enjoy romantic gestures?
While cupioromantics like the idea of dating theoretically, in practice, the thought of romantic gestures makes them feel nothing or can even be a turn off.
Do you enjoy the idea of romance?
Cupioromantics like romance in theory. They can even enjoy romantic comedy movies or romance novels, but when it comes to themselves, they don’t think they could be in a relationship like that in their own life.
Do you want a relationship but don’t feel romantic attraction?
Cupioromantics like the idea of a romantic relationship for the closeness, sexual intimacy, or camaraderie it can bring but theydon’t experience romantic attractionfor other people.
If you are a cupioromantic, it’s important that you embrace your unique feelings when it comes to romance. While your preferences may be different from the norm, that doesn’t make them any less valid.
Navigating Relationships as a Cupioromantic
Many cupioromantics look for aromantic relationship, and there are unique joys and challenges to forming relationships as a cupioromantic individual.
The challenges include that “society expects [romance] if you get into a relationship with someone” as McGregor says, leading to others, including the cupioromantic’s significant other, to become hesitant or pull away when they realize that the cupioromantic isn’t interested in romance.
Mac Scotty McGregor, Executive Director at Positive MasculinityOn the positive side is the companionship, and you look for things you like to do together. That is a bond, it’s just not that tingly feeling
Mac Scotty McGregor, Executive Director at Positive Masculinity
On the positive side is the companionship, and you look for things you like to do together. That is a bond, it’s just not that tingly feeling
Also, McGregor says “if you know you are a cupioromantic, being upfront and honest about that when seeing people is crucial." To avoid misunderstandings, communicating openly and honestly about what you and your partner want from a relationship is paramount. That way there’s no misconceptions about what anyone, including the cupioromantic, wants.
“On the positive side is the companionship, and you look for things you like to do together. That is a bond, it’s just not that tingly feeling," says McGregor.
Cupioromantics can appreciate the closeness and compatibility that may come with having a partner, even if they don’tseek romance.
The key to being able to have a relationship as a cupioromantic is to have enough self-awareness to express your desires even if they are not typical. Even if you aren’t sure if you are a cupioromantic, be honest with your partner about what you’re feeling.
McGregor suggests asking questions to gauge the other person’s familiarity with the concept of cupioromanticism and ease them into the conversation. The more clearly you communicate, the more you can foster understanding and empathy and build connections based on emotional intimacy.
Overcoming Stereotypes and Misconceptions
There are many misconceptions surrounding cupioromanticism. For example, people may assume cupioromantics aren’t interested in sex, when cupioromantic refers to a romantic not a sexual orientation. Similarly people may confuse cupioromatics, people who want a romantic relationship but don’t feel that romantic attraction themselves, withlithromantics, people who feel romantic attraction but have no desire to have those feelings reciprocated.
McGregor suggests that one of the major misconceptions of a partner’s understanding of cupioromantics is that they can change the cupioromantic to want romance. But cupioromanticism, like other romantic orientations, can’t be changed.
Openconversationsabout diverse romantic orientations, including cupioromanticism, is important and it’s vital to respect a person’s individual experience with sex and romance. To foster acceptance and support for people with different romantic orientations, McGregeor advises:
Educate yourself
“The more we learn about different ways to identify, [the more] that broadens people’s perspectives,” says McGregor.
Realize that we can all exist as one community
“Somebody that’s different than us is no threat to us or the way we choose to live or how we identify,” McGregor explains. “It’s really about confidence because… when most people [take issue] with people who are different, it’s out of fear. With more exposure, people open up….”
Conclusion
Cupioromanticism is just one more branch on the ever-evolving tree of romantic orientations. Cupioromantic means desire for romance, which is a good way to understand this orientation, someone who desires a romantic relationship but doesn’t feel romance themselves.
Each of us is on a unique romantic journey and to appreciate our culture of diverse romantic orientations we must educate ourselves and realize we exist as one community. After all, whether we’re cupioromantic or a different orientation, we all want to be understood and accepted and we all deserve love.
Glossary of Must-Know Sexual Identity Terms
3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Henderson Springs LGBT+ Center.LGBT Online Resource: Terms, Culture, Definitions. Appalachian State.Exton R.How to know if you’re cupioromantic: Meaning & relationships.HER.Barnes S.6 Signs You Might Be Cupioromantic & What It Really Means.MindBodyGreen.
3 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Henderson Springs LGBT+ Center.LGBT Online Resource: Terms, Culture, Definitions. Appalachian State.Exton R.How to know if you’re cupioromantic: Meaning & relationships.HER.Barnes S.6 Signs You Might Be Cupioromantic & What It Really Means.MindBodyGreen.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Henderson Springs LGBT+ Center.LGBT Online Resource: Terms, Culture, Definitions. Appalachian State.Exton R.How to know if you’re cupioromantic: Meaning & relationships.HER.Barnes S.6 Signs You Might Be Cupioromantic & What It Really Means.MindBodyGreen.
Henderson Springs LGBT+ Center.LGBT Online Resource: Terms, Culture, Definitions. Appalachian State.
Exton R.How to know if you’re cupioromantic: Meaning & relationships.HER.
Barnes S.6 Signs You Might Be Cupioromantic & What It Really Means.MindBodyGreen.
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