What It Means to Be Aromantic

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSignsAromanticism vs. AsexualityAromantic SpectrumRelationshipsChallenges Facing Aromantic PeopleSupportCaring for Yourself

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Signs

Aromanticism vs. Asexuality

Aromantic Spectrum

Relationships

Challenges Facing Aromantic People

Support

Caring for Yourself

Close

A person who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction to persons of any gender.People who are aromantic also lack interest in having romantic relationships.Romantic attractionrefers to a desire to have emotional contact and interaction with a partner, while the definition of a romantic relationship can vary depending on the individual.

Aromanticism is the opposite ofalloromanticism, which is a desire to experience a romantic relationship.

Learn more about aromanticism and how it affects relationships. If you identify as aromantic, we share a few tips for caring for your mental health. We also provide ways that you can help support a family member or friend who is aromantic.

What Are Signs of Being Aromantic?

Everyone’s experience is unique, so feelings about romance and relationships can vary greatly among aromantic people. Some may have different desires and expectations for physical and emotional intimacy. There is no standardized definition of what constitutes romance, so one person’s definition may differ from someone else’s.

Some signs that you might be aromantic include:

Aromanticism represents a spectrum, which means that people experience little to no romantic attraction. While many do not ever have these feelings, some may identify as aromantic and still experience some degree of romantic attraction depending on the individual and the situation.

Can Aromantics Still Fall in Love?Aromantic people can experience love. Being aromantic doesn’t mean that you don’t feel or experiencelove. You may experience strong feelings of love for family and friends. And research suggests that aromatic people often still desire sex.People who identify as aro can also want relationships. While they may not experience romantic feelings, they can still have deep, meaningful, and lasting connections with others.

Can Aromantics Still Fall in Love?

Aromantic people can experience love. Being aromantic doesn’t mean that you don’t feel or experiencelove. You may experience strong feelings of love for family and friends. And research suggests that aromatic people often still desire sex.People who identify as aro can also want relationships. While they may not experience romantic feelings, they can still have deep, meaningful, and lasting connections with others.

‘I Don’t Want to Fall In Love’: What to Do If You Feel This Way

Some aromantic people are asexual, but the two are not synonymous. Asexuality involves a lack of sexual interest or attraction. Some asexual people may not desire sex but can still want romance. And aromantic people may desire sex but not romance.

There is little research available on aromanticism, and the distinctions between romantic and sexual orientation are not fully understood. People sometimes have difficulty distinguishing between romantic and sexual attraction because they are often so closely intertwined, making studying the topic more difficult.

I Belong to the LGBTQ+ Community Even If Others Disagree

Both asexuality and aromanticism are part of what is known as the asexual spectrum identities.While many aromantic people are also asexual, people with various sexual identities may also describe themselves as aromantic. For example, a person may describe themselves as an aromantic bisexual, an aromantic lesbian, or an aromantic gay man.

Other identities on the aromantic spectrum include:

Glossary of Must-Know Sexual Identity Terms

Can Aromantics Have a Relationship?

It is important to note that aromantic people may still be involved in intimate or sexual relationships. However, these relationships may look different from romantic relationships.

Such partnerships may involve being in an exclusive relationship, living together, showing affection, and having sex. Aromantic people may get married, have children, and raise families.

What Is Aromantic Dating?Some aromantic people may enter what is referred to as a queer-platonic partnership or QPP. These partnerships are platonic in nature but have the same degree of commitment as a romantic partnership, including cohabitating and making decisions together.

What Is Aromantic Dating?

Some aromantic people may enter what is referred to as a queer-platonic partnership or QPP. These partnerships are platonic in nature but have the same degree of commitment as a romantic partnership, including cohabitating and making decisions together.

Societal expectations can create challenges for people who identify as aromantic. There is a tremendous amount of societal pressure on people to find a partner, commit, and have children.

People who don’t desire that are often pressured to settle down, get married, and have kids anyway. Those who don’t are often made to feel that there is something wrong with them or that they are missing out.

Amatonormativity

Amatonormativityis a term that has been coined to describe society’s expectations concerning romance. It has been used to describe the pressure to find and prioritize romance, marriage, and monogamy.

Some researchers have suggested that amatonormativity creates a social stigma surrounding being single and can pressure people into entering or staying inunhealthy relationships.

How to Support Someone Who Is Aromantic

If you have a friend or loved one who is aromantic, there are things that you can do to be a supportive friend and ally:

Strengthen Friendships With Good Listening Skills

Aromantic people often facestigmaand misconceptions about their romantic orientation. Others sometimes think they are not loving or that they will eventually change and develop romantic relationships. Dealing with these myths can sometimes make people feel isolated or pressured toconformto other people’s expectations.

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While you might not want romantic relationships, havingsocial supportis important for your mental health and well-being. Focus on cultivating strong relationships with other people outside of romantic contexts. It is important to remember that other forms of love are not any less important than romantic love.

If you are aromantic, don’t feel pressured to participate in romantic or sexual situations you aren’t comfortable with. Don’t force yourself to do things to meet someone else’s expectations or because of social pressure.

Summary

While aromantics are often mistakenly viewed as cold or prudish, it is important to remember that people who identify as aro have diverse feelings and experiences. Some may enjoy physical intimacy, and some may not. Some may want a commitment without the expectations of a romantic relationship, while others may prefer to have no romantic relationships at all.

If you think you might be aromantic, it is important to remember that you alone get to decide how you feel and how to share those feelings with others. For more resources and information being aromantic, visit some of the following resources:

If you are seeking support for issues with coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm, and more, contact theLGBT National Hotlineat1-888-843-4564for one-to-one peer support.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are seeking support for issues with coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm, and more, contact theLGBT National Hotlineat1-888-843-4564for one-to-one peer support.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

What to Do When You’re Questioning Your Sexuality

9 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.LGBT Center at The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.Antonsen AN, Zdaniuk B, Yule M, Brotto LA.Ace and aro: understanding differences in romantic attractions among persons identifying as asexual.Arch Sex Behav. 2020;49(5):1615-1630. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01600-1Fischer NL, Seidman S.Introducing the New Sexuality Studies. Routledge; 2016.Bogaert AF.Understanding Asexuality. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc; 2012.Pasquier M.Explore the spectrum: guide to finding your ace community. GLAAD.Miller SJ, ed.Glossary of terms: defining a common queer language.Teaching, Affirming, and Recognizing Trans and Gender Creative Youth. London: Palgrave Macmillan; 2016. doi:10.1057/978-1-137-56766-6Brake E.Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law.New York: Oxford University Press; 2012.Singal J.The new science of single people.The Cut.AUREA.A beginner’s guide to being an aromantic ally.

9 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.LGBT Center at The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.Antonsen AN, Zdaniuk B, Yule M, Brotto LA.Ace and aro: understanding differences in romantic attractions among persons identifying as asexual.Arch Sex Behav. 2020;49(5):1615-1630. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01600-1Fischer NL, Seidman S.Introducing the New Sexuality Studies. Routledge; 2016.Bogaert AF.Understanding Asexuality. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc; 2012.Pasquier M.Explore the spectrum: guide to finding your ace community. GLAAD.Miller SJ, ed.Glossary of terms: defining a common queer language.Teaching, Affirming, and Recognizing Trans and Gender Creative Youth. London: Palgrave Macmillan; 2016. doi:10.1057/978-1-137-56766-6Brake E.Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law.New York: Oxford University Press; 2012.Singal J.The new science of single people.The Cut.AUREA.A beginner’s guide to being an aromantic ally.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

LGBT Center at The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.Antonsen AN, Zdaniuk B, Yule M, Brotto LA.Ace and aro: understanding differences in romantic attractions among persons identifying as asexual.Arch Sex Behav. 2020;49(5):1615-1630. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01600-1Fischer NL, Seidman S.Introducing the New Sexuality Studies. Routledge; 2016.Bogaert AF.Understanding Asexuality. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc; 2012.Pasquier M.Explore the spectrum: guide to finding your ace community. GLAAD.Miller SJ, ed.Glossary of terms: defining a common queer language.Teaching, Affirming, and Recognizing Trans and Gender Creative Youth. London: Palgrave Macmillan; 2016. doi:10.1057/978-1-137-56766-6Brake E.Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law.New York: Oxford University Press; 2012.Singal J.The new science of single people.The Cut.AUREA.A beginner’s guide to being an aromantic ally.

LGBT Center at The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.

Antonsen AN, Zdaniuk B, Yule M, Brotto LA.Ace and aro: understanding differences in romantic attractions among persons identifying as asexual.Arch Sex Behav. 2020;49(5):1615-1630. doi:10.1007/s10508-019-01600-1

Fischer NL, Seidman S.Introducing the New Sexuality Studies. Routledge; 2016.

Bogaert AF.Understanding Asexuality. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc; 2012.

Pasquier M.Explore the spectrum: guide to finding your ace community. GLAAD.

Miller SJ, ed.Glossary of terms: defining a common queer language.Teaching, Affirming, and Recognizing Trans and Gender Creative Youth. London: Palgrave Macmillan; 2016. doi:10.1057/978-1-137-56766-6

Brake E.Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law.New York: Oxford University Press; 2012.

Singal J.The new science of single people.The Cut.

AUREA.A beginner’s guide to being an aromantic ally.

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