What Is the Split Attraction Model?

The split attraction model, which is sometimes shortened to SAM, the split attraction model, which is sometimes shortened to SAM, is a framework that’s intended to help asexual and aromantic people better understand theirsexual attractionsand how those may be different from their romantic attractions.

In other words, the split attraction model says that there can be a difference between someone’ssexual orientationand their romantic orientation. One study even found that sexual desire and what they refer to as “affectional bonding” can be completely independent of one another.

History of the Split Attraction Model

While this may be the first time you’re reading about this concept, it’s actually been around for a while.

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov wrote a bookthat described “limerence,” which Tennov described as a type of attraction that encompasses sexual attraction but focused more on emotional connection. When the term affectional orientation-attraction was coined, it intended to further clarify homophobic and biphobic stereotypes that implied that same gender relationships were mostly about sex.

This is all-important because it shows that the concept of the split attraction model is not a modern creation but has been around for years.

Differences Between Romantic and Sexual Orientations

While these may not immediately jump out to you like different things, there are some key differences that we walk through below. One author even pointed outthat while the two are typically strongly associated, they are not the same.

Romantic orientations:This is romantic in a way that is not physical. For example, in the book “Mostly Straight,” the author points out that one of the interviewed people is interested in sex with women but romantic connections with men.The Asexual Visibility & Education Network notes(AVEN) that the names of romantic orientations are similar to those of sexual orientations. They describe whatgenderthe person is attracted to in relation to their own.

Sexual orientations:For aromantic people, sexual orientations refer to who they are physically attracted to. For people not on the asexual or aromantic spectrums, sexual orientation encompasses who they are romantically and sexually attracted to. For this group, the “sex” in sexuality refers to sex and gender not intercourse.

What Does It Mean to Be Pansexual?

Why It’s Often Associated With People Who Identify as Asexual

The split attraction model is solely for asexual and aromantic people because other people’s identities are conveyed in one word.

This same post also notes that the split attraction model can be particularly helpful for people who are aromantic because it can give them a way to easily describe their feelings toward romantic relationships.

Furthermore, for people who are asexual and not aromantic or who are aromantic and not asexual, their identities involve both who they are attracted to and whether romance/intercourse is involved in their attraction. It’s two axes: attraction to people and how they are attracted to people. That’s why the SAM works for them. It gives those communities more specific language to describe what kind of relationships they are open to.

I Belong to the LGBTQ+ Community Even If Others Disagree

Criticism of the Split Attraction Model

Some people, primarily within the LGBTQ+ community, think that the split attraction model focuses too heavily on sexual desire and attraction. Some people believe that this model makes it more confusing for young peopletrying to figure outwhere they stand within the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

Another criticismis that the SAM model argues that there is no easy way to define attraction and that it can mean different things to different people. This makes it confusing when used as a blanket term.

Additionally, criticisms of the split attraction model are directed at the idea that the SAM applies to everyone. The model can be extremely helpful for people who are asexual or aromantic.

Overall, many peoplein the LGBTQ+ community believe that there should be a more inclusive term that is less specific in differentiating between romantic and sexual attraction.

Links & ResourcesFor more information about the split attraction model as well as sexual and romantic orientations, here are some resources that should be able to help:Asexual Visibility and Education NetworkGlossary of Must-Know Sexual Identity TermsThe Centers for Disease Control hasa list of youth resources.Here is a listof mental health resources.The Trevor Project,is an organization that provides resources, education, and support to the LGBTQ+ community.Gender Spectrumis a resource and education site.

Links & Resources

For more information about the split attraction model as well as sexual and romantic orientations, here are some resources that should be able to help:Asexual Visibility and Education NetworkGlossary of Must-Know Sexual Identity TermsThe Centers for Disease Control hasa list of youth resources.Here is a listof mental health resources.The Trevor Project,is an organization that provides resources, education, and support to the LGBTQ+ community.Gender Spectrumis a resource and education site.

For more information about the split attraction model as well as sexual and romantic orientations, here are some resources that should be able to help:

A Word From Verywell

It’s important not to get caught up in the arguments happening around certain terminology. Instead just focus on the words that help you better understand your own romantic and sexual orientations. If you are interested in speaking with someone who can talk to you more about this model and how it may or may not help describe how you feel, make sure you check out the list of resources above.

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Diamond, L. M. (2003).What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire.Psychological Review, 110(1), 173–192. doi:10.1037/0033-295X.110.1.173AUREA.Splitting Attraction: A History of Discussing Orientation.Tennov, D. (1979).Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love.Scarborough House.Savin-Williams, R. (2018).Romantic Orientation. InMostly Straight: Sexual Fluidity among Men(pp. 25-27). Cambridge, MA and London, England: Harvard University Press.

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Diamond, L. M. (2003).What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire.Psychological Review, 110(1), 173–192. doi:10.1037/0033-295X.110.1.173AUREA.Splitting Attraction: A History of Discussing Orientation.Tennov, D. (1979).Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love.Scarborough House.Savin-Williams, R. (2018).Romantic Orientation. InMostly Straight: Sexual Fluidity among Men(pp. 25-27). Cambridge, MA and London, England: Harvard University Press.

Diamond, L. M. (2003).What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire.Psychological Review, 110(1), 173–192. doi:10.1037/0033-295X.110.1.173AUREA.Splitting Attraction: A History of Discussing Orientation.Tennov, D. (1979).Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love.Scarborough House.Savin-Williams, R. (2018).Romantic Orientation. InMostly Straight: Sexual Fluidity among Men(pp. 25-27). Cambridge, MA and London, England: Harvard University Press.

AUREA.Splitting Attraction: A History of Discussing Orientation.

Tennov, D. (1979).Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love.Scarborough House.

Savin-Williams, R. (2018).Romantic Orientation. InMostly Straight: Sexual Fluidity among Men(pp. 25-27). Cambridge, MA and London, England: Harvard University Press.

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History of the Split Attraction Model#

Differences Between Romantic and Sexual Orientations#

Why It’s Often Associated With People Who Identify as Asexual#

Criticism of the Split Attraction Model#

Links & Resources#

A Word From Verywell#