What Is the Meaning of the 'Inner Self'?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsThe Inner SelfImportance of Knowing Your Inner SelfThe Outer SelfConflictsBalancing the Inner and Outer Selves

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

The Inner Self

Importance of Knowing Your Inner Self

The Outer Self

Conflicts

Balancing the Inner and Outer Selves

The inner self is the subconscious repository of your thoughts, memories, emotions, and other aspects of your mind that make up who you are. It’s the private, internal part of yourself you generally do not share with others—the core of your being.

Being aware of your inner self and how it interacts with your outer self is an important part of good mental, physical, andspiritual health.It’s a crucial element to consider when working toward and maintaining balance in your life.

The inner self comprises the parts of ourselves we keep private or share selectively, such as feelings, intuitions, values, beliefs, personality, thoughts, emotions, fantasies, spirituality, desire, andpurpose. A strong inner self can help you deal with your emotions, stay self-aware, maintain clarity and values, and feel a purpose in life. It also can help you remain calm and resilient in the face of adversity.

Inner Child Work: How Your Past Shapes Your Present

The inner self is the crux of your identity; it’s who you are at the core. Connecting with it is crucial for living your healthiest life. Meditate or practicing other mindfulness techniques and activities such as walking in nature:

Your outer self is what you present to the world—the parts that you choose to allow others to experience, such as your appearance (hair, clothes, etc.), demeanor, speech, etc. Your outer self is like a shell, meant to protect and support your inner self as you cope with the demands of school, work, home, and other external concerns.

This external world can be demanding. Take time to consider whether the aspects of your outer self align with the values, expectations, and perceptions of your inner self.

Conflict Between Inner and Outer Selves

The inner and outer selves sometimes don’t align, and this conflict can cause extreme discomfort. Essentially, you might think one thing (in your inner self) but behave differently (in your outer self). For example, a person who identifies as gay but is forced to “act straight” in public experiences distress because their inner and outer selves differ.

This conflict can arise when you don’t spend enough time with your inner self—“running on empty,” struggling to get through the demands of the day without considering whether your actions and behaviors are in line with your inner self.

The greater the conflict, the wider the difference between what the inner self believes is right and what the outer self does. This conflict ultimately causesstressthat can damage the mind, body, and spirit.

The resulting stress can make you more vulnerable to illness and affect daily functioning. You might also be at risk of turning to quick “fixes” such as drugs and alcohol.

How to Recognize Conflict Between the Inner and Outer Selves

Checking to see that your inner and outer selves are aligned is simply identifying gaps between your true values and your actions:

Once you’ve identified the problematic areas in your life, focus on quieting your outer self and connecting with your inner self. Slow down, focus on the moment, and listen to your thoughts as you go about your day.

If you still feel conflicted, consider the need for life changes to address these issues. Perhaps starting a new job, working on your relationship, or ending a friendship might be in order. Only you will know the specific changes that might bring you back into balance. Ask yourself:

Thinking of the largest gaps first, ask yourself what changes you must make to align your inner and outer selves. For example, one person might change careers or reduce working hours to spend more time with family. Another might change their field of work to more closely align with a cause.

Some conflicts between the inner and outer selves are small enough to resolve easily. Even simple changes can help, such as slowing down each day and taking the time to talk and listen to others, rather than always rushing.

Your inner self is the very core of your being: your authentic self. Getting to know your inner self brings self-awareness, along with many other emotional and psychological benefits.

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Tajadura-Jiménez A, Tsakiris M.Balancing the “inner” and the “outer” self: interoceptive sensitivity modulates self-other boundaries.J Exp Psychol Gen. 2014;143(2):736-744. doi:10.1037/a0033171Zhang, Q., Wang, Z., Wang, X., Liu, L., Zhang, J., & Zhou, R. (2019). The effects of different stages of mindfulness meditation training on emotion regulation.Frontiers in Human Neuroscience,13, 459651. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2019.00208Additional ReadingFerguson J. Know and Connect Your Inner and Outer Self.https://www.lindajferguson.com/2013/09/know-and-connect-your-inner-and-outer-self/LaBier D.Building an Inside-Out Life - Part 1.Psychology Today.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-new-resilience/201006/building-inside-out-life-part-1

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Tajadura-Jiménez A, Tsakiris M.Balancing the “inner” and the “outer” self: interoceptive sensitivity modulates self-other boundaries.J Exp Psychol Gen. 2014;143(2):736-744. doi:10.1037/a0033171Zhang, Q., Wang, Z., Wang, X., Liu, L., Zhang, J., & Zhou, R. (2019). The effects of different stages of mindfulness meditation training on emotion regulation.Frontiers in Human Neuroscience,13, 459651. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2019.00208Additional ReadingFerguson J. Know and Connect Your Inner and Outer Self.https://www.lindajferguson.com/2013/09/know-and-connect-your-inner-and-outer-self/LaBier D.Building an Inside-Out Life - Part 1.Psychology Today.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-new-resilience/201006/building-inside-out-life-part-1

Tajadura-Jiménez A, Tsakiris M.Balancing the “inner” and the “outer” self: interoceptive sensitivity modulates self-other boundaries.J Exp Psychol Gen. 2014;143(2):736-744. doi:10.1037/a0033171Zhang, Q., Wang, Z., Wang, X., Liu, L., Zhang, J., & Zhou, R. (2019). The effects of different stages of mindfulness meditation training on emotion regulation.Frontiers in Human Neuroscience,13, 459651. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2019.00208

Zhang, Q., Wang, Z., Wang, X., Liu, L., Zhang, J., & Zhou, R. (2019). The effects of different stages of mindfulness meditation training on emotion regulation.Frontiers in Human Neuroscience,13, 459651. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2019.00208

Ferguson J. Know and Connect Your Inner and Outer Self.https://www.lindajferguson.com/2013/09/know-and-connect-your-inner-and-outer-self/LaBier D.Building an Inside-Out Life - Part 1.Psychology Today.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-new-resilience/201006/building-inside-out-life-part-1

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Conflict Between Inner and Outer Selves#

How to Recognize Conflict Between the Inner and Outer Selves#

Conflict Between Inner and Outer Selves

How to Recognize Conflict Between the Inner and Outer Selves