Revenge cheating in romantic relationships happens when one partner is trying to get back at another partner, typically as a response to the other partner’s infidelity.

A study published in the North American Journal of Psychology says that infidelity is the most common type of deception in romantic relationships, and it’s most likely to occur when one person is less committed to the relationship. That same study even found that around 68% of women and 75% of men would admit to some form of sexual cheating.

Below, we will look at the differences betweenemotionaland sexual cheating, factors that determine whether or not people end up cheating on their partners, as well as the steps that are necessary for someone trying to work past their partner’s infidelity.

Can My Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Types of Cheating

While this is pretty self-explanatory, what’s less obvious is that men and women tend to havedifferent reactionsto the different types of cheating:

Why Do People in Relationships Cheat?

The Four Factors That Determine Whether or Not People Seek Revenge

That said, no matter the situation, researchshows that people tend to make decisions about whether or not to seek revenge based on these four factors:

How to Forgive Your Partner’s Infidelity

In order for forgiveness to occur, all three of these components need to be present.

Reasons to Avoid Revenge Cheating

Focusing on your own mental health is always the best answer. One studyeven found that respondents who participated in types of revenge against their partners experienced anger, anxiety, and remorse.

Being open and honest with your partner about how their behaviors made you feel is definitely the best choice. At some point, you need to determine if you can personallyforgive themand move on withoutholding a grudge, or if you need to end the relationship. Either way, these options will move you forward, whereas seeking out revenge will really just work to cause both you and your partner more emotional strife.

Infidelity is one of the hardest things that a relationship can go through. If you’ve been cheated on, make sure that you’re open and honest with yourself and your partner about your ability to forgive. Regardless of whether or not there’s a future in the relationship, remember that your partner’s cheating has more to do with them than with anything you did.

How to Resist the Temptation to Cheat in a Relationship

5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Gunderson, P. R., & Ferrari, J. R. (2008).Forgiveness of sexual cheating in romantic relationships: Effects of discovery method, frequency of offense, and presence of apology.North American Journal of Psychology, 10(1), 1–14.Boon, S. D., Alibhai, A. M., & Deveau, V. L. (2009).Payback: The parameters of revenge in romantic relationships.Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,26(6–7), 747–768. doi:10.1177%2F0265407509347926Kato T.Gender differences in response to infidelity types and rival attractiveness.Sexual and Relationship Therapy. 2019:1-17. doi:10.1080/14681994.2019.1639657Schumann, K., & Ross, M. (2010).The Benefits, Costs, and Paradox of Revenge.Social and Personality Psychology Compass,4(12), 1193–1205.Yoshimura, S. (2007).Goals and emotional outcomes of revenge activities in interpersonal relationships.24(1), 87–98. doi:10.1177%2F0265407507072592

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Gunderson, P. R., & Ferrari, J. R. (2008).Forgiveness of sexual cheating in romantic relationships: Effects of discovery method, frequency of offense, and presence of apology.North American Journal of Psychology, 10(1), 1–14.Boon, S. D., Alibhai, A. M., & Deveau, V. L. (2009).Payback: The parameters of revenge in romantic relationships.Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,26(6–7), 747–768. doi:10.1177%2F0265407509347926Kato T.Gender differences in response to infidelity types and rival attractiveness.Sexual and Relationship Therapy. 2019:1-17. doi:10.1080/14681994.2019.1639657Schumann, K., & Ross, M. (2010).The Benefits, Costs, and Paradox of Revenge.Social and Personality Psychology Compass,4(12), 1193–1205.Yoshimura, S. (2007).Goals and emotional outcomes of revenge activities in interpersonal relationships.24(1), 87–98. doi:10.1177%2F0265407507072592

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Gunderson, P. R., & Ferrari, J. R. (2008).Forgiveness of sexual cheating in romantic relationships: Effects of discovery method, frequency of offense, and presence of apology.North American Journal of Psychology, 10(1), 1–14.Boon, S. D., Alibhai, A. M., & Deveau, V. L. (2009).Payback: The parameters of revenge in romantic relationships.Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,26(6–7), 747–768. doi:10.1177%2F0265407509347926Kato T.Gender differences in response to infidelity types and rival attractiveness.Sexual and Relationship Therapy. 2019:1-17. doi:10.1080/14681994.2019.1639657Schumann, K., & Ross, M. (2010).The Benefits, Costs, and Paradox of Revenge.Social and Personality Psychology Compass,4(12), 1193–1205.Yoshimura, S. (2007).Goals and emotional outcomes of revenge activities in interpersonal relationships.24(1), 87–98. doi:10.1177%2F0265407507072592

Gunderson, P. R., & Ferrari, J. R. (2008).Forgiveness of sexual cheating in romantic relationships: Effects of discovery method, frequency of offense, and presence of apology.North American Journal of Psychology, 10(1), 1–14.

Boon, S. D., Alibhai, A. M., & Deveau, V. L. (2009).Payback: The parameters of revenge in romantic relationships.Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,26(6–7), 747–768. doi:10.1177%2F0265407509347926

Kato T.Gender differences in response to infidelity types and rival attractiveness.Sexual and Relationship Therapy. 2019:1-17. doi:10.1080/14681994.2019.1639657

Schumann, K., & Ross, M. (2010).The Benefits, Costs, and Paradox of Revenge.Social and Personality Psychology Compass,4(12), 1193–1205.

Yoshimura, S. (2007).Goals and emotional outcomes of revenge activities in interpersonal relationships.24(1), 87–98. doi:10.1177%2F0265407507072592

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