Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSignsCausesTypesCycleExamplesConsequencesHow to ControlDealing With Others

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Table of Contents

Signs

Causes

Types

Cycle

Examples

Consequences

How to Control

Dealing With Others

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People with NPD require that others give them consistent admiration and positive feedback. When this doesn’t happen, it can elicit underlying feelings ofshamethat trigger an instant angry response and cause them to lash out without considering how it impacts the recipient.

It is the narcissist’s thin skin and sensitivity that leads to this rage because of a deep-seated fear of being “found out” for not being the person they portray themselves to be.

Signs of Narcissistic Rage

Are you wondering if someone you know might be exhibiting signs of narcissistic rage? Or are you somewhat aware that you may have this tendency yourself? If you’re not sure, take a look at this list of the signs and symptoms of narcissistic rage. While it might feel as though the attack is calculated, most often, narcissistic rage is reactive in nature.

Narcissistic rage can be active or passive with corresponding outward or inward signs of the problem. Below are the signs and symptoms to watch out for.

Outward Signs

Inward Signs

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Causes of Narcissistic Rage

If you suspect that someone you know has problems with narcissistic rage or that you may have this problem yourself, you might also be curious as to the cause. While we don’t know precisely what causes narcissistic personality disorder, which is often an underlying factor in narcissistic rage, it’s likely that a combination of genetics, upbringing, and life experiences play a role.

If you’re confused about whether someone you know might have NPD, it’s helpful to learn more about this disorder. NPD tends to disrupt all areas of a person’s life and can be overt (obvious),covert(hidden), or even high-functioning (the person is successful in life despite the disorder, such as a high-powered business person who is known for flying into fits of rage).

Personality Traits

The criteria for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder require a pervasive and long-term pattern of certain personality traits, including:

People may struggle with these types of narcissistic vulnerabilities without meeting the full criteria for narcissistic personality disorder.

Additional Contributing Factors

In addition, there are a number of specific factors or causes that can be identified when it comes to NPD and narcissistic rage in particular. We know that narcissistic rage happens when a person experiences “narcissistic injury,” which equates to the sense of self being threatened.

Below are some other factors to consider:

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Types of Narcissistic Rage

As mentioned previously, there are two different types of narcissistic rage: outward or explosive and inward or passive.

A narcissist can engage in both types of narcissistic rage rather than being solely outward or inward in their actions and behaviors.

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Narcissistic Rage Cycle

Unlike typical anger, narcissistic rage does not go through a series of stages. For example, psychiatrist Adam Blatner identified the following seven stages or levels of typical anger:

In contrast, there is no progression through a series of steps. Rather, what happens during narcissistic rage is more of a child-like response in which the person goes straight from feelings of stress to a full-blown outward or inward expression of rage.

Examples of Narcissistic Rage

Still not sure if what you are experiencing is narcissistic rage? Below are some examples.

Not Getting Their Way

Your boss might make an unreasonable request such as asking you to work long hours over the weekend on a project at the last minute. If you refuse this unreasonable requisition, they may lash out with narcissistic rage.

Not Getting Enough Attention

A friend might always direct the conversation back to talking about themselves, even in the case when someone has shared something important and listening would be more appropriate. They might even become jealous and sulk or lash out if everyone is giving attention to someone else’s problem and ignoring them.

Feel Like They Are Losing Control of People/Situation

Someone might lash out at you if they feel as though they have lost control of you or the situation.

Reacting to Criticism

Narcissistic rage can result from even the most gentle of criticism because of theunstable sense of self-esteem.

Getting Caught Doing Something

Consequences of Narcissistic Rage

What are the consequences of narcissistic rage and why is it such a problem? The truth is that narcissistic rage has negative effects on the person who has the problem as well as everyone else who is subjected to the rage.

Below are some of the possible negative outcomes of narcissistic rage:

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

How to Control Your Narcissistic Rage

If you are the person who has a problem controlling narcissistic rage, you may or may not be aware of what is happening internally. Hopefully, if you’ve read this far, you have a better sense and are interested in ways to interact with the world in a healthier and more fulfilling way.

While narcissistic rage might feel good at the moment as it helps relieve feelings of fear and shame, in the long term, it only serves to drive good people away from you, interfere with your success, and leave you fragile and at risk.

While treatment of narcissistic conditions can be challenging, here are some things to try if you want to get a handle on your narcissistic rage.

Therapy

Psychological therapy is the main treatment for narcissistic personality disorder withpsychoanalytic therapyorcognitive behavioral therapy(CBT) being the most common.Other options include schema therapy,dialectical behavior therapy(DBT), and mentalization-based therapy.

Seeing a therapist can help you better understand your behavior, reduce the inner turmoil that you experience, address underlying causes, and prepare you with better coping strategies to deal with future situations. A therapist could help you:

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Tips for Dealing With Narcissistic Rage

Are you on the receiving end of someone else’s narcissistic rage and you’d like to know how to better handle the situation? If so, below are some tips for dealing with bouts of narcissistic rage, whether it’s from a family member, partner, friend, co-worker, or stranger.

General Advice

The following includes good general advice for navigating another person’s narcissistic rage.

Do’sBecome familiar with NPDSeek therapy for yourselfAvoid triggering a reactionCall 911 if the person is a threatKnow you aren’t to blame for their behaviorStay calm and set personal boundariesDon’tsEscalate conflictsTake things personallyShare too much personal informationTry to use logic or get into a debateApologize or accept their behaviorStay in the situation if their anger becomes explosiveSeek revenge

Do’sBecome familiar with NPDSeek therapy for yourselfAvoid triggering a reactionCall 911 if the person is a threatKnow you aren’t to blame for their behaviorStay calm and set personal boundaries

Become familiar with NPD

Seek therapy for yourself

Avoid triggering a reaction

Call 911 if the person is a threat

Know you aren’t to blame for their behavior

Stay calm and set personal boundaries

Don’tsEscalate conflictsTake things personallyShare too much personal informationTry to use logic or get into a debateApologize or accept their behaviorStay in the situation if their anger becomes explosiveSeek revenge

Escalate conflicts

Take things personally

Share too much personal information

Try to use logic or get into a debate

Apologize or accept their behavior

Stay in the situation if their anger becomes explosive

Seek revenge

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

Stranger

If the narcissistic rage you experience is from a person you don’t know:

Co-Worker

If you’re subjected to narcissistic rage from a co-worker:

Spouse, Partner, or Family Member

If it is your spouse, partner, or another family member who is the perpetrator of narcissistic rage:

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Keep in Mind

If you know a narcissist or feel you may be one yourself and are having trouble with narcissistic rage, the best options are usually self-reflection and awareness, understanding the problem, recognizing triggering situations, and developing coping skills. It’s only when the person who has a problem with narcissistic rage wants to change that change will happen.

Often, change will only come when there has been a breaking point of some sort, such as the development of another mental health issue. However, you don’t have to wait to hit a breaking point before taking steps toward meaningful change.

Whatever your circumstances, reach out for help. Whether you are the perpetrator or victim of narcissistic rage, getting help will benefit those around you as well as your own life circumstances.

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8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Krizan Z, Johar O.Narcissistic rage revisited.J Personal Soc Psychol.2015;108(5):784-801. doi:10.1037/pspp0000013Green A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open.2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic personality disorder. Reviewed June 19, 2020.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-5. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association; 2013:669-670.Scott R, Freckelton I.Narcissistic rage and the murder of Allison Baden-Clay.Psychiatr Psychol Law. 2017;25(1):131-151. doi:10.1080/13218719.2017.1379113Blatner A.Creating Your Living: Applications of Psychodramatic Methods in Everyday Life. 2nd ed.; 1985.Freis SD, Brown AA, Carroll PJ, Arkin RM.Shame, rage, and unsuccessful motivated reasoning in vulnerable narcissism.J Social Clin Psychol. 2015;34(10):877-895. doi:10.1521/jscp.2015.34.10.877Yakeley J.Current understanding of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder.BJPsych Advances. 2018;24(5):305-315. doi:10.1192/bja.2018.20

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Krizan Z, Johar O.Narcissistic rage revisited.J Personal Soc Psychol.2015;108(5):784-801. doi:10.1037/pspp0000013Green A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open.2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic personality disorder. Reviewed June 19, 2020.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-5. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association; 2013:669-670.Scott R, Freckelton I.Narcissistic rage and the murder of Allison Baden-Clay.Psychiatr Psychol Law. 2017;25(1):131-151. doi:10.1080/13218719.2017.1379113Blatner A.Creating Your Living: Applications of Psychodramatic Methods in Everyday Life. 2nd ed.; 1985.Freis SD, Brown AA, Carroll PJ, Arkin RM.Shame, rage, and unsuccessful motivated reasoning in vulnerable narcissism.J Social Clin Psychol. 2015;34(10):877-895. doi:10.1521/jscp.2015.34.10.877Yakeley J.Current understanding of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder.BJPsych Advances. 2018;24(5):305-315. doi:10.1192/bja.2018.20

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Krizan Z, Johar O.Narcissistic rage revisited.J Personal Soc Psychol.2015;108(5):784-801. doi:10.1037/pspp0000013Green A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open.2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic personality disorder. Reviewed June 19, 2020.Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-5. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association; 2013:669-670.Scott R, Freckelton I.Narcissistic rage and the murder of Allison Baden-Clay.Psychiatr Psychol Law. 2017;25(1):131-151. doi:10.1080/13218719.2017.1379113Blatner A.Creating Your Living: Applications of Psychodramatic Methods in Everyday Life. 2nd ed.; 1985.Freis SD, Brown AA, Carroll PJ, Arkin RM.Shame, rage, and unsuccessful motivated reasoning in vulnerable narcissism.J Social Clin Psychol. 2015;34(10):877-895. doi:10.1521/jscp.2015.34.10.877Yakeley J.Current understanding of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder.BJPsych Advances. 2018;24(5):305-315. doi:10.1192/bja.2018.20

Krizan Z, Johar O.Narcissistic rage revisited.J Personal Soc Psychol.2015;108(5):784-801. doi:10.1037/pspp0000013

Green A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open.2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693

Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic personality disorder. Reviewed June 19, 2020.

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-5. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association; 2013:669-670.

Scott R, Freckelton I.Narcissistic rage and the murder of Allison Baden-Clay.Psychiatr Psychol Law. 2017;25(1):131-151. doi:10.1080/13218719.2017.1379113

Blatner A.Creating Your Living: Applications of Psychodramatic Methods in Everyday Life. 2nd ed.; 1985.

Freis SD, Brown AA, Carroll PJ, Arkin RM.Shame, rage, and unsuccessful motivated reasoning in vulnerable narcissism.J Social Clin Psychol. 2015;34(10):877-895. doi:10.1521/jscp.2015.34.10.877

Yakeley J.Current understanding of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder.BJPsych Advances. 2018;24(5):305-315. doi:10.1192/bja.2018.20

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