Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow Consent WorksWhy Consent Is ImportantTypes of ConsentHow to Ask for ConsentWhat Is Not Consent

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

How Consent Works

Why Consent Is Important

Types of Consent

How to Ask for Consent

What Is Not Consent

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Generally speaking, the term “consent” means to agree to something. Lately however, the term has become an important part of social and political discourse and it usually refers to consent in a sexual context.

Giving one’s sexual consent means clearly and freely agreeing to participate in a sexual activity, making it consensual.It’s important for every person involved in the activity to give their consent, otherwise sexual activity without consent is consideredsexual assault or rape.

This article explores what consent is, why it’s important, how to ask for it, what it includes and what it does not.

Consent applies to any kind of physical activity or engagement, including touching another person, kissing them, or having oral or penetrative intercourse.

These are some important aspects to remember about consent:

Planned Parenthood notes that there are laws regarding who can consent and who cannot.For instance, people who are drunk, high, unconscious, below the legal age of consent, or have significant mental impairment, or not in a position to make decisions for any other reason cannot consent.

Consent is necessary so if you’re gettingintimatewith someone, sharing your respective boundaries and having them acknowledged and respected is important, as is immediately honoring a “no” in response to anything you or they don’t want to do at any time during the encounter.

Just as they can check with you for ongoing consent, it’s important for you to check with them to ensure they are equally on board with the intimacy being shared and to respect their boundaries as well.

For instance, if you’ve just met someone, just because you’ve enthusiastically consented and participated in one activity, doesn’t mean you consent to others. Or, just because you’ve hooked up with someone in the past, doesn’t automatically mean you’ve consented to do so again. Even if you’re in a committed relationship ormarriagewith a partner or a spouse, your consent is not automatic or implicit for every sexual interaction.

Therefore it’s helpful for you and your partner to clearly communicate your consent and boundaries and what is working or not working for either of you on a regular basis. If your partner isn’t communicating willing and enthusiastic consent during physical intimacy, you can take the initiative and responsibility to check in with them.

A 2022 study notes that consent communication not only improves the quality of the relationship and the sexual activity, it also helps ensure participants’ safety.

How to Talk About Sex With Your Partner

Consent can be verbal or non-verbal.

These are some examples of verbal consent:

Verbal consent is the clearest form of consent and, therefore, the safest.

Consent can also be non-verbal. These are some examples of non-verbal consent:

However, it’s important to note that everyone’sbody languageis different and non-verbal consent can be misinterpreted. Therefore, it’s helpful to verbally check in with your partner every now and then to make sure they’re on the same page as you are.

Rosalia Rivera Is Changing the Way We Define Consent

These are some ways to ask for someone’s consent:

How to Initiate Sex With Your Partner

Like consent, non-consent can also be verbal or non-verbal.

These are some examples of verbal non-consent:

These are some examples of non-verbal non-consent:

It’s important to note that flirting, wearing certain types of clothing, suggestive dancing, or kissing someone are not consent or an invitation for more, and to think otherwise is a form ofvictim-blaming.

Consent is an important concept that is gaining awareness. However, if you or a loved one have been sexually assaulted in any way, remember that it’s not your fault, regardless of the circumstances. Report theassaultto the authorities and seek help from healthcare providers or a therapist as needed.

If you are a survivor of sexual assault, you can contact theRAINN National Sexual Assault Hotlineat 1-800-656-4673 to receive confidential support from a trained staff member at a local RAINN affiliate.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are a survivor of sexual assault, you can contact theRAINN National Sexual Assault Hotlineat 1-800-656-4673 to receive confidential support from a trained staff member at a local RAINN affiliate.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

How to Tell Someone You Were Sexually Assaulted

7 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.NYC Health.Sexual consent.Planned Parenthood.Sexual consent.Flecha R, Tomás G, Vidu A.Contributions from psychology to effectively use and achieve sexual consent.Front Psychol. 2020;11:92. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00092Pfeiffer EJ, McGregor KA, Van Der Pol B, Hardy Hansen C, Ott MA.Willingness to disclose sexually transmitted infection status to sex partners among college-aged men in the United States.Sex Transm Dis. 2016;43(3):204-206. doi:10.1097/OLQ.0000000000000420Edwards J, Rehman US, Byers ES.Perceived barriers and rewards to sexual consent communication: A qualitative analysis.J Soc Pers Relat. 2022;39(8):2408-2434. doi:10.1177/02654075221080744University of California, Riverside.What is consent?Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.What consent looks like.

7 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.NYC Health.Sexual consent.Planned Parenthood.Sexual consent.Flecha R, Tomás G, Vidu A.Contributions from psychology to effectively use and achieve sexual consent.Front Psychol. 2020;11:92. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00092Pfeiffer EJ, McGregor KA, Van Der Pol B, Hardy Hansen C, Ott MA.Willingness to disclose sexually transmitted infection status to sex partners among college-aged men in the United States.Sex Transm Dis. 2016;43(3):204-206. doi:10.1097/OLQ.0000000000000420Edwards J, Rehman US, Byers ES.Perceived barriers and rewards to sexual consent communication: A qualitative analysis.J Soc Pers Relat. 2022;39(8):2408-2434. doi:10.1177/02654075221080744University of California, Riverside.What is consent?Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.What consent looks like.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

NYC Health.Sexual consent.Planned Parenthood.Sexual consent.Flecha R, Tomás G, Vidu A.Contributions from psychology to effectively use and achieve sexual consent.Front Psychol. 2020;11:92. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00092Pfeiffer EJ, McGregor KA, Van Der Pol B, Hardy Hansen C, Ott MA.Willingness to disclose sexually transmitted infection status to sex partners among college-aged men in the United States.Sex Transm Dis. 2016;43(3):204-206. doi:10.1097/OLQ.0000000000000420Edwards J, Rehman US, Byers ES.Perceived barriers and rewards to sexual consent communication: A qualitative analysis.J Soc Pers Relat. 2022;39(8):2408-2434. doi:10.1177/02654075221080744University of California, Riverside.What is consent?Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.What consent looks like.

NYC Health.Sexual consent.

Planned Parenthood.Sexual consent.

Flecha R, Tomás G, Vidu A.Contributions from psychology to effectively use and achieve sexual consent.Front Psychol. 2020;11:92. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00092

Pfeiffer EJ, McGregor KA, Van Der Pol B, Hardy Hansen C, Ott MA.Willingness to disclose sexually transmitted infection status to sex partners among college-aged men in the United States.Sex Transm Dis. 2016;43(3):204-206. doi:10.1097/OLQ.0000000000000420

Edwards J, Rehman US, Byers ES.Perceived barriers and rewards to sexual consent communication: A qualitative analysis.J Soc Pers Relat. 2022;39(8):2408-2434. doi:10.1177/02654075221080744

University of California, Riverside.What is consent?

Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.What consent looks like.

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