What Is Christian Marriage Counseling?

Christian marriage counseling is cognitive behavioral-based counseling for Christian married couples, incorporating psychotherapy with Christian belief practices.

January 17, 2025 · 11 min · 2157 words · Jose Koch

Table of Contents

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Is Christian Marriage Counseling?TechniquesWhat Christian Marriage Counseling Can Help WithBenefitsEffectivenessThings to ConsiderHow to Get Started

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What Is Christian Marriage Counseling?

Techniques

What Christian Marriage Counseling Can Help With

Benefits

Effectiveness

Things to Consider

How to Get Started

Close

Christian marriage counseling aims to develop relational techniques that strengthencommunication, consideration, and commitment to one another while enhancing individual spiritual growth.

Couples can begin the process of resolving conflict, resentment, and miscommunications of the present and past. They learn how toforgive and healfrom circumstances that are negatively impacting the marriage. All this is accomplished alongside the incorporation of spirituality and Christian tenets into the counseling sessions.

Techniques of Christian Marriage Counseling

The following are interventions that one could expect to experience in Christian marriage counseling to broaden communication and spiritual connection.

Relationship-Strengthening Exercises

Christian marriage counselorsconduct in-session therapy exercises that take place during counseling, as well as at-home assignments.

One example of an in-session exercise would be to express specific qualities each person admires about their partner and then discuss the qualities they don’t like.

At-home exercises may consist of counselors assigning clients scriptures to study together at home, along with promoting participation in other religious activities, like prayer.

Other assignments would usually be tailored to enhance communication and help better understand the other’s perspective. This could simply be implementing learned communication skills into everyday life.

Christian Religious Practices

They often incorporate Bible scriptures as a reference to relevant subject matters pertaining to marriage.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive-behavioral therapy(CBT) is often incorporated into Christian marriage counseling. Religious cognitive-behavioral therapy (RCBT) is integrated with cognitive-behavioralcouples therapy(CBCT).

RCBT enables an individual to explore their faith and relationship with God in a constructive and non-judgmental manner.

RCBT in marriage counseling will help individuals learn how to evaluate unhealthy thinking and emotions towards oneself and one’s partner and approach negative viewpoints with optimism and positivity, in the hopes that they can restructure those viewpoints and learn new ways of thinking.

Benefits of Christian Marriage Counseling

Christian marriage counseling is beneficial to Christian couples who are experiencing marital troubles due to issues that may pertain to communication, resentment, or lack of consideration for the other’s feelings.

Christian marriage counseling offers benefits to all Christian couples. Counseling is just as helpful to those who aren’t necessarily encountering the above issues but are seeking guidance and insight to strengthen their relationship with their spouse, as well as with God.

A study that examined religious communication and marital satisfaction in 342 heterosexual couples determined that religious communication greatly influences the quality of a marriage.

Forgiveness of oneself and one’s spouse was found to be an aspect of religious communication that equated to increased marital success.

Researchers found that a person having an individual relationship with God is positively associated with greater religious communication.

A 2015 study including various Christian couples who either participated in secular or Christian marriage counseling found that most couples preferred going to Christian marriage counseling to gain spiritual intervention, but not necessarily on a pastoral level.

A therapist or mental health professional should definitely be involved when there appear to be mental health concerns, diagnosed or undiagnosed. In regards to diagnostic criteria or blatant harmful behavior, counseling should include a counselor who is equipped with adequate qualifications.

Some researchers have suggested the need for a stronger collaboration betweenmarriage and family therapists(MFT) and clergy. Although therapists are well trained in mental health matters, there isn’t necessarily any religious training required for Christian MFTs who conduct Christian marriage counseling.

Pastors and clergy members are at least educated to an extent about behavioral and emotional health, but most marriage and family therapists, who offer religious and spiritual insight, do not have any background in Clergy or some form of religious training. This may leave one to believe that receiving counseling from both a religious leader as well as an MFT may equate to notable results.

Keep in mind that although receiving counseling from both a clergy leader and MFT could lead to greater efficacy, it can also have a polar opposite effect. Just as in any situation that involves receiving advice from different sources, you may at times experience different approaches to a subject matter and suggestions on how to handle a situation. This can produce confusion, increased frustration, and even regression in progress made in counseling. In this scenario, it would most likely be better to remain consistent with sessions from just one source.

Every couple is different, so deciding what works best is dependent on that couple. In general, the best instance for most seeking Christian counseling would be to conduct an extensive search for an MFT with an additional background in clergy.

It can be somewhat difficult to find a therapist that integrates Christian belief practices into marriage counseling. If a couple seeks to engage in Christian marriage counseling they should search for a Christian counselor who conducts marriage counseling sessions that are centered on building marital and relationshipcharacter strengthsthat are based on biblical and spiritual concepts.

It is also important to consider whether you both would prefer a therapist or pastor as your marriage counselor. Both have similar goals but could offer different benefits to the sessions.

Christian therapists are trained inpsychotherapy, which involves a more psychological approach to counseling while incorporating Christian belief practices.

Pastors are experts in theology, so pastoral marriage counseling would involve some possible cognitive-behavioral techniques, but mostly theological insight. There is a possibility for marriage and family therapists to work with clergy members in developingmarital strengthsthat coincide with Christian practices.

If you’re interested in getting Christian marriage counseling, here is how you can get started:

Discuss Marriage Counseling With Your Partner

Before making any plans regarding marriage counseling, you both must agree to participate in counseling, even if one of you is not entirely on board. It is OK if one of you or even both of you are hesitant or evenskepticalabout marriage counseling, as long as you both agree to try it out.

You cannot force someone to go to counseling or therapy, just as you can’t force someone to change; that decision is completely up to them.

Make sure you both are willing to try counseling before making any decisions. Individual Christian counseling is always an option if your partner does not agree to Christian marriage counseling.

Determine if Christian Marriage Counseling Is What You Want

It is important to make the decision of whether or not you would prefer marriage counseling that incorporates Christian religious insight.

If you would prefer to include your faith and also focus on spirituality during counseling sessions, then Christian counseling just may be the right path for your partner and yourself.

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Find a Christian Marriage Counselor

Whether it be a marriage and family therapist or clergy leader, you and your partner will have to search for a counselor, unless there is already someone you have in mind.

First, you must decide whether you would prefer a therapist, pastor, or possibly try both to integrate a more psychological and theological approach to counseling.

If you do determine that it is best to choose either a therapist or pastor, which one you choose is dependent on whether you both desire greater scientific expertise or biblical insight.

Therapy only works when people put in the necessary work to better their lives. If one is willing to be open to making an effort and to welcoming change andgrowth, then therapy can be effective.

Individual therapy requires a lot of work, and with couples therapy, it requires considering the feelings of another person in addition to trying to voice your own concerns andemotions.

Christian counseling specifically requires putting in an effort to understand both your and your partner’s spirituality and relationship with God.

Understand That Sensitive Subjects Will Come Up

Expect to haveconversationsthat may feel a bit uncomfortable or even frustrating at times. There is a great likelihood that situations from the past will come up in these conversations.

It is important to dig deep and recognize factors that may be negatively impacting the relationship. It is also possible for disagreements and miscommunication to occur regarding you and your partner’s relationship with God.

All of these challenging discussions are a part of the process and vital for growth within the relationship. So, it’ll be important to really put in the work to get through these tough conversations.

Try to Practice Compassion for Yourself and Your Partner

Although it may be challenging at times, remember to consider the feelings of your partner, while also remainingkindto yourself.

It is easy to fall into theblame game, whether that involves pointing the finger at your partner or being hard on yourself. Either way, Christian marriage counseling isn’t about whose fault it is and why, but how you can build a stronger, more communicative relationship that puts God at the center.

Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?

7 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Guernsey DB.Christian marriage counseling.J Psychol Christ.1994;13(2): 117–124.Worthington EL.Marriage counseling: A Christian approach to counseling couples.Couns Values.1990;35(1): 3-15. doi:10.1002/j.2161-007X.1990.tb00351.xSutton GW, Aruzen C, Kelly HL.Christian counseling and psychotherapy: Components of clinician spirituality that predict type of Christian intervention.J Psychol Christ.2016; 35(3): 204-214.Weaver AJ, Koenig HG, Larson DB.Marriage and family therapists and the clergy: a need for clinical collaboration, training, and research.J Marital Fam Ther. 1997; 23(1):13-25. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.1997.tb00228.xKoenig HG.Religious versus conventional psychotherapy for major depression in patients with chronic medical illness: Rationale, methods, and preliminary results.Depress Res Treat. 2012;2012(1):1-11.David P, Stafford L.A relational approach to religion and spirituality in marriage: The role of couples’ religious communication in marital satisfaction.J Fam Issues. 2015;36(2):232-249. doi:10.1177/0192513X13485922Bannister SN, Park HS, Taylor S, Neuman E.Social work & christianity.J North Am Assoc Christians Social Work.2015; 42(1): 63-95.

7 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Guernsey DB.Christian marriage counseling.J Psychol Christ.1994;13(2): 117–124.Worthington EL.Marriage counseling: A Christian approach to counseling couples.Couns Values.1990;35(1): 3-15. doi:10.1002/j.2161-007X.1990.tb00351.xSutton GW, Aruzen C, Kelly HL.Christian counseling and psychotherapy: Components of clinician spirituality that predict type of Christian intervention.J Psychol Christ.2016; 35(3): 204-214.Weaver AJ, Koenig HG, Larson DB.Marriage and family therapists and the clergy: a need for clinical collaboration, training, and research.J Marital Fam Ther. 1997; 23(1):13-25. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.1997.tb00228.xKoenig HG.Religious versus conventional psychotherapy for major depression in patients with chronic medical illness: Rationale, methods, and preliminary results.Depress Res Treat. 2012;2012(1):1-11.David P, Stafford L.A relational approach to religion and spirituality in marriage: The role of couples’ religious communication in marital satisfaction.J Fam Issues. 2015;36(2):232-249. doi:10.1177/0192513X13485922Bannister SN, Park HS, Taylor S, Neuman E.Social work & christianity.J North Am Assoc Christians Social Work.2015; 42(1): 63-95.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Guernsey DB.Christian marriage counseling.J Psychol Christ.1994;13(2): 117–124.Worthington EL.Marriage counseling: A Christian approach to counseling couples.Couns Values.1990;35(1): 3-15. doi:10.1002/j.2161-007X.1990.tb00351.xSutton GW, Aruzen C, Kelly HL.Christian counseling and psychotherapy: Components of clinician spirituality that predict type of Christian intervention.J Psychol Christ.2016; 35(3): 204-214.Weaver AJ, Koenig HG, Larson DB.Marriage and family therapists and the clergy: a need for clinical collaboration, training, and research.J Marital Fam Ther. 1997; 23(1):13-25. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.1997.tb00228.xKoenig HG.Religious versus conventional psychotherapy for major depression in patients with chronic medical illness: Rationale, methods, and preliminary results.Depress Res Treat. 2012;2012(1):1-11.David P, Stafford L.A relational approach to religion and spirituality in marriage: The role of couples’ religious communication in marital satisfaction.J Fam Issues. 2015;36(2):232-249. doi:10.1177/0192513X13485922Bannister SN, Park HS, Taylor S, Neuman E.Social work & christianity.J North Am Assoc Christians Social Work.2015; 42(1): 63-95.

Guernsey DB.Christian marriage counseling.J Psychol Christ.1994;13(2): 117–124.

Worthington EL.Marriage counseling: A Christian approach to counseling couples.Couns Values.1990;35(1): 3-15. doi:10.1002/j.2161-007X.1990.tb00351.x

Sutton GW, Aruzen C, Kelly HL.Christian counseling and psychotherapy: Components of clinician spirituality that predict type of Christian intervention.J Psychol Christ.2016; 35(3): 204-214.

Weaver AJ, Koenig HG, Larson DB.Marriage and family therapists and the clergy: a need for clinical collaboration, training, and research.J Marital Fam Ther. 1997; 23(1):13-25. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.1997.tb00228.x

Koenig HG.Religious versus conventional psychotherapy for major depression in patients with chronic medical illness: Rationale, methods, and preliminary results.Depress Res Treat. 2012;2012(1):1-11.

David P, Stafford L.A relational approach to religion and spirituality in marriage: The role of couples’ religious communication in marital satisfaction.J Fam Issues. 2015;36(2):232-249. doi:10.1177/0192513X13485922

Bannister SN, Park HS, Taylor S, Neuman E.Social work & christianity.J North Am Assoc Christians Social Work.2015; 42(1): 63-95.

Hannah Owens, LMSW

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