My first therapist was like a parent to me. I started seeing her when I was 23 years old, and didn’t stop seeing her until almost a decade later. Over those 10 years, I grew up in more ways than one. I finally confronted the traumas of my childhood, I began to get a grip on my panic and anxiety disorder, and I explored what it meant to come full circle and start a family of my own.I’d had a few therapists before her, but none had lasted more than a few months. She was the first therapist I trusted, which was why I ended up seeing her for so long. She made me feel seen. She called me on my B.S. in ways that felt comfortable and constructive. She helped illuminate the ways I’d been mistreated as a child. I was finally able to own some of the pain I’d experienced — pain I’d never had an outlet to safely process.

When It’s Time to Quit Therapy

Common reasons for quitting therapy

Like many people, the realization that it was time to stop therapy wasn’t as clear-cut as I imagined it would be. My reasons were mostly practical. But I was also feeling like maybe I’d done everything I was meant to do with my therapist — that now that I was a parent, it made sense tomove onto a new therapist, to mark this change in my life. I also felt like maybe I wanteda break from therapy.These are all valid reasons for ending therapy. There are actually many reasons to pause therapy, and all of them have validity. Here are some of the most common:

Ending Therapy In A Healthy Way

It’s one thing to do know it’s time to quit, but it’s quite another to have the wherewithal to bring this up with your therapist. It can be very anxiety-provoking to do so, which is natural. After all, this is likely someone you have grown to trust, and you have shared things with them you have shared with few other people on earth.For me, I knew I was done a few months before I actually brought it up — I wasthatnervous. When I finally did, it was no big deal to my therapist, or at least she was good at hiding how she was actually feeling. It’s important to remember that therapists are professionals, and are taught how to deal with the endings of their therapy relationships. They may have feelings about the relationship too, but they know that ultimately you ending therapy isn’t about them, but about you and your needs.Most therapists will suggest that you have a few “close-out sessions” to end things. In these sessions, you might discuss the whole trajectory of what you covered, and what your hopes and fears are for the future. Most therapists will leave the door open for you to stay in touch should anything new come up.

Don’t “ghost” your therapist

Keeping the Door Open for the Future

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