Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsExternal Characteristics of ADHDInternal Experiences of ADHDADHD StrengthsSupporting Someone With ADHD

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Table of Contents

External Characteristics of ADHD

Internal Experiences of ADHD

ADHD Strengths

Supporting Someone With ADHD

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An iceberg is a block of ice that floats on water. While the tip of the iceberg is visible above the surface, the majority of it remains hidden underwater.

The ‘ADHD iceberg’ is a pictorial analogy that helps represent the experience of havingattention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The external characteristics of ADHD that others can see are just the tip of the iceberg, while the internal experience of having ADHD is so much more than that.

This analogy shows people how much ADHD affects people beyond just fidgetiness, hyperactivity, and limited attention, saysAimee Daramus, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist.

Aimee DaramusThe iceberg analogy is meant to show people the full experience of having ADHD, since a lot of it is invisible to others. The comparison helps people understand how the internal experience of ADHD is so different from other people’s lives, in both quality and intensity.

Aimee Daramus

The iceberg analogy is meant to show people the full experience of having ADHD, since a lot of it is invisible to others. The comparison helps people understand how the internal experience of ADHD is so different from other people’s lives, in both quality and intensity.

This article explores the external characteristics of ADHD vs. the internal experience of people with this type of neurodivergence and suggests some ways to support someone with ADHD.

ADHD is characterized and diagnosed based on a set of externally visibletraits and characteristicsthat are grouped into two categories, inattention, and hyperactivity.

Inattention

These are some of the characteristics of inattention a person with ADHD may display:

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Hyperactivity

These are some of the characteristics ofhyperactivitya person with ADHD may display:

Why Is My Child So Hyper? ADHD vs. High Energy

The external symptoms of ADHD are behaviors that others see. However, they are merely a fraction of theADHD experience. According to Dr. Daramus, the internal experience of ADHD can include:

Like a lot of disorders, each individual with ADHD experiences a different mix of these and other challenges, says Dr. Daramus.

It is important to recognize that while ADHD may have hidden challenges, people with ADHD brains also have many strengths. Such strengths can also be part of the ADHD iceberg, since these capabilities are often unappreciated or not supported.

Some of the strengths that people with ADHD possess include:

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Ifsomeone in your life has ADHD, it’s important to understand that the traits you’re seeing are merely the tip of the iceberg; they’re probably going through a lot that you’re unaware of.

Below, Dr. Daramus shares some tips that can help you support someone with ADHD.

Try to Understand the Person’s Experience

It’s important to make an effort to understand the person’s internal experiences so you can figure out how to support them. However, you might not be able to just ask them what’s going on inside of them, as not everyone can express it.

You can try showing them the ‘ADHD iceberg’ and have them tell you which of those problems they experience. Alternatively, there are alsochecklistsyou can use. You can ask the person to tell you which of the characteristics they experience.

Some people with ADHD can also express themselves through story, character, or fandom. You can ask them about their favorite characters or stories that relate to their experiences.

Take a Holistic Approach

ADHD supportis focused on the parts of the condition that are inconvenient for parents, teachers, or bosses.

Aimee Daramus, PsyDOne of the most important messages of the ‘ADHD iceberg’ is that you can’t just treat the visible symptoms, the ones that are inconvenient to others. It’s equally important to understand the person’s internal experiences that are below the surface of the iceberg and help manage those.

Aimee Daramus, PsyD

One of the most important messages of the ‘ADHD iceberg’ is that you can’t just treat the visible symptoms, the ones that are inconvenient to others. It’s equally important to understand the person’s internal experiences that are below the surface of the iceberg and help manage those.

It’s important to seek treatment from a qualified professional, preferably one whospecializes in supporting ADHD, or has ADHD themselves, as they may be better equipped to understand the internal experiences someone with ADHD may have.

Be Kind and Patient

You may never fully understand the experience of someone with ADHD, so it’s important to be kind and patient. Accommodating and supporting the individual so that they can flourish is essential.

For instance, if you have a child who has ADHD and isthrowing a tantrum, rather than getting angry, upset, or frustrated with them, remind yourself that they are probably a lot more frustrated with their difficulties than you are. Focus on staying calm and figuring out how to support their needs in the situation.

A Word From Verywell

ADHD can have challenges, but it is important to be aware that many of these challenges stem from a lack of adequate support and neurotypical-centered expectations. While ADHD is diagnosed based on a set of observable external symptoms, the ‘ADHD iceberg’ helps demonstrate that the person may be going through a lot more than that. It’s essential to keep this in mind and offer the person support for their internal experiences as well.

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13 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

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