What Does It Take to Get Sober? 3 People Share How They Coped

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Is Alcohol Use Disorder?The Voices of SobrietyHow to Get HelpWhat to Do If Someone You Love Is Suffering From Alcoholism

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What Is Alcohol Use Disorder?

The Voices of Sobriety

How to Get Help

What to Do If Someone You Love Is Suffering From Alcoholism

Sobrietyis becoming an increasingly popular lifestyle choice. Celebrities are the faces of non-alcoholic brands, mocktail bars are popping up in major cities, and ‘sober curious’ is becoming a household term for those who are re-evaluating their relationship to alcohol. However, we live in a culture where alcohol is a common ingredient in all social gatherings, making it difficult to discern what is typical usage and what is indicative of a greater issue.

We’ll explore exactly what alcohol use disorder is, often referred to asalcoholism, uplift the stories of those who found sobriety, and share steps you can take if you need support.

If you or a loved one are struggling with substance use or addiction, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

People who are wondering if they have a problem often try to go without alcohol for a month or set limits on how much they drink.—JOHN C. UMHAU, MD, MPH, CPE

People who are wondering if they have a problem often try to go without alcohol for a month or set limits on how much they drink.

—JOHN C. UMHAU, MD, MPH, CPE

Furthermore, it isn’t uncommon for those whobinge drinkto end up developing alcohol use disorder. This is a common condition, with a 2020 study stating about 14% of U.S. adults suffer from alcohol use disorder.

The Dangers of Drinking Non-Alcoholic Beer

Natasha

Natasha firstsought sobrietywhen she was 26 years old. “I knew I could no longer go on pretending that I had a handle on my drinking,” she explains. To her, alcoholism ended up feeling like a mental prison because she was so focused on trying to control her use, which ultimately was out of control. Getting sober at a young age was difficult—she initially thought hersocial lifewould be over. It wasn’t until she found a packed meeting on a Friday night, with peers she’d typically be parting with, that she hoped she’d found her place.

I knew I could no longer go on pretending that I had a handle on my drinking.—NATASHA

I knew I could no longer go on pretending that I had a handle on my drinking.

—NATASHA

Getting sober wasn’t easy. There was discomfort, but it ultimately changed her life in big and small ways. Above all, she found herself confronting parts of herself that she’d worked to avoid with alcohol. “I havehealthy relationships, a career that I can show up to every day, and a deep level of self-worth that I never imagined I’d ever have before I got sober," Natasha says.

Amy

Amy first started drinking alcohol and using drugs when she was 14 years old. Growing up, she witnessed herparents struggle with alcoholismand hated it. But, working in fast-paced restaurants from a young age led her to party with the staff who were older than her. From there, she began living a fast life where she drank, used, and created a life where all of her peers were doing the same. When she was 20, a friend of hers took her to a12-step meetingthat led Amy to be sober for about a year, but it didn’t stick. “I tried again in my 30s, but I relapsed as well,” she shares.

It wasn’t until she did Sober September a few times, which is when one abstains from all alcohol and substances for September, that she realized she wanted to have a different experience in her life.

What helped Amy get sober was the experience of attending a 12-step meeting when she was 20. She knew there was another way to live, so she pursued the tools of the program. Since getting sober, she has seen her business, relationships, and herself get better as a result of working diligently to maintain continuous sobriety every day. A gift she’s seen in her recovery? She gets to be truly present for others. “I’ve seen so many people over the years not make it, and I hope my sobriety can shed the light that you are not alone.”

I’ve seen so many people over the years not make it, and I hope my sobriety can shed the light that you are not alone.—AMY

I’ve seen so many people over the years not make it, and I hope my sobriety can shed the light that you are not alone.

—AMY

Gabbi

Gabbi found her work, relationships, and finances in disarray. Theemotional exhaustionand physical discomfort didn’t help much, either. As she found herself in complete desperation, she noticed others around her had found clarity through sobriety. She noticed these people were sincere, grounded, and authentic. They followed through on their actions and seemed joyful.

I let go of the shame I was holding onto and found the power of vulnerability.—GABBI

I let go of the shame I was holding onto and found the power of vulnerability.

—GABBI

As she reflects on her journey, she urges others to be gentle with themselves. “If yourelapse, keep coming back [to sobriety]. Go back to the practices that you found clarity through. You’ll eventually get it again.”

The Stages of Change Model of Overcoming Addiction

If some of these stories resonate with you or if the definition of alcohol use disorder feels a bit too familiar, it may be time to get some help. It can be hard to know where to turn, so we askedAlyssa Kushner, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in recovery, substance use, and sober curiosity, what she recommends for those early in their sobriety journey. “I always recommend two things: at least weekly individual therapy and a support group.”

I always recommend two things: at least weekly individual therapy and a support group.—ALYSSA KUSHNER, LCSW

I always recommend two things: at least weekly individual therapy and a support group.

—ALYSSA KUSHNER, LCSW

Dr. Umhau urges folks not to overlook prescription medications likenaltrexoneor acamprosate. “These are safe, non-addicting medications that have been proven to help people reduce the craving for alcohol, stay sober and are especially helpful,” he shared. When someone stops drinking alcohol, the brain can begin to experience the alcohol deprivation effect. This is when the brain struggles to adapt to life without the endorphins from alcohol.

Both Kushner and Umhau share the importance of exercise and a nutritious diet. “The importance of restoring a healthy brain through an optimal diet is often overlooked, and eating seafood rich in omega-3 fat may be especially helpful,” shares Dr. Umhau.

Finally, don’t underestimate the importance of community support and connection. Recovery programs can be excellent for helping you find like-minded folks who are also working to stay sober.

How Alcohol Compounds Its Damage to the Brain

You may be reading this article not because you’re worried about your relationship to alcohol, but because you suspectsomeone you love is suffering from alcohol use disorder. We turned to the experts for their insight on how one can best support their loved one. “You can help guide them, but you can’t make that choice for them, nor is it your fault if they don’t get sober,” explains Kushner as she considers the scenario of someone not being ready to get sober yet.

You can help guide them, but you can’t make that choice for them, nor is it your fault if they don’t get sober.—ALYSSA KUSHNER, LCSW

You can help guide them, but you can’t make that choice for them, nor is it your fault if they don’t get sober.

Kushner stresses the importance ofsetting boundariesand seeking out your own help (like therapy or a support group). Above all, she recommends folks find their own balance ofoffering support while also supporting themselves.

Whether it is you suffering or someone you love, know hope is here and change is always possible. Let the wisdom of the voices in this article guide you along your way.

Effects of Alcoholism on the Family

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Sudhinaraset M, Wigglesworth C, Takeuchi DT.Social and cultural contexts of alcohol use.Alcohol Res. 2016;38(1):35-45.Nehring SM, Chen RJ, Freeman AM.Alcohol Use Disorder.StatPearls. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing.Kranzler HR, Soyka M.Diagnosis and pharmacotherapy of alcohol use disorder: a review.JAMA. 2018;320(8):815-824. doi:10.1001/jama.2018.11406

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Sudhinaraset M, Wigglesworth C, Takeuchi DT.Social and cultural contexts of alcohol use.Alcohol Res. 2016;38(1):35-45.Nehring SM, Chen RJ, Freeman AM.Alcohol Use Disorder.StatPearls. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing.Kranzler HR, Soyka M.Diagnosis and pharmacotherapy of alcohol use disorder: a review.JAMA. 2018;320(8):815-824. doi:10.1001/jama.2018.11406

Sudhinaraset M, Wigglesworth C, Takeuchi DT.Social and cultural contexts of alcohol use.Alcohol Res. 2016;38(1):35-45.Nehring SM, Chen RJ, Freeman AM.Alcohol Use Disorder.StatPearls. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing.Kranzler HR, Soyka M.Diagnosis and pharmacotherapy of alcohol use disorder: a review.JAMA. 2018;320(8):815-824. doi:10.1001/jama.2018.11406

Sudhinaraset M, Wigglesworth C, Takeuchi DT.Social and cultural contexts of alcohol use.Alcohol Res. 2016;38(1):35-45.

Nehring SM, Chen RJ, Freeman AM.Alcohol Use Disorder.StatPearls. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing.

Kranzler HR, Soyka M.Diagnosis and pharmacotherapy of alcohol use disorder: a review.JAMA. 2018;320(8):815-824. doi:10.1001/jama.2018.11406

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