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Table of Contents

Understanding Gender Identity

What Is the Gender Binary?

Types of Nonbinary Gender

Discussing Sexual Orientation

Gender and Pronouns

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Nonbinary is an umbrella term used to describe individuals who experience a gender identity that is neither exclusively woman nor man or is between or beyond both genders.Nonbinary individuals may identify as genderfluid, agender (without gender), genderqueer, orsomething elseentirely.

Nonbinary is an umbrella term used to describe individuals who experience a gender identity that is neither exclusively woman nor man or is between or beyond both genders

Nonbinary people are included in the broad category oftransgenderpeople. Although, some nonbinary people might not feel comfortable identifying as such because being transgender was historically narrowly defined as requiring a movement between binary genders.

The notion that transgender people must transition to an “opposite” gender has been particularly strong (and particularly problematic) in the medical community.

A person’sgender identityis their internal sense of themselves as a woman, man, or person out of the binary. Cisgender people are those whose gender identity is the same as the gender correlated with the sex they were assigned at birth. Conversely, transgender is an umbrella term used to describe “the full range of people whose gender identity does not conform to what is typically associated with their sex assigned at birth.”

Gender identity is different fromgender expression. While gender identity is an internal, deeply rooted sense of self, gender expression is how a person externally expresses their gender identity. It’s important to note that gender expression is how they present themselves and may or may not correspond to a person’s gender identity.

Gender is also different from sex and sexual orientation. While sex refers to a person’s biology—chromosomal, hormonal, and anatomical—gender is a socially, culturally, and environmentally constructed term.Sexual orientationrefers to a person’s interest in people of the same or similar gender, different gender(s), all genders, or no genders. People of any sex can have any gender identity and sexual orientation. The concepts are independent.

The gender binary is the problematic notion that there are only two genders, and all individuals are either a woman or a man. Some might argue that there are only two sexes, so there should only be two genders, but that argument is flawed.

Although we categorize most infants into male or female, there is more diversity than that in terms of sex. The biology of sex is complex. Most people are XX or XY, but some people are XXY or XO.

In addition, your chromosomes don’t fully determine your sexual anatomy. Some people have XY chromosomes and are born with uteruses. The term for people who have a mix of hormonal and anatomical traits typically associated with male or female bodies isintersex. Someone can be intersex, but a person is not “an intersex.”

Nonbinary is both a gender identity and a catch-all term used to describe gender identities other than strictly man or woman. While there are many types of nonbinary gender, some are more commonly discussed than others. These include:

Glossary of Must-Know Gender Identity Terms

Have you ever noticed that discussing your sexual orientation means disclosing your gender identity? Sexual orientation terms are generally used to draw a comparison between someone’s gender identity and the gender of the people they’re attracted to. For example, if you are someone attracted to men and identify as heterosexual, your gender is woman.

Although it is commonly thought otherwise, nonbinary people can and do identify as heterosexual, as gay, and as lesbians.

Because of the expansive nature of gender identities beyond the binary, anyone of any sexuality can be attracted to a nonbinary person. A heterosexual woman can be attracted to a nonbinary person while affirming both her sexuality and her partner’s gender. Gender is very personal, so people who use the same term to identify themselves can have different conceptions of what their gender is.

Some nonbinary people identify as woman- or man-aligned. This identification can mean that their gender is part woman or man, and/or that they occupy a social location similar to that of men or women.

An example of the latter is a nonbinary person who was assigned man at birth, is only attracted to women, and who experiences transmisogyny (the compounding of transphobia andmisogynythat transgender women face). Many transfeminine people who fit this bill can and do identify as lesbians.

Being woman- or man-aligned is not a watered-down version of being woman or man. Alignment does not make a nonbinary person less nonbinary. There are also nonbinary people who identify as being unaligned.

What Do the Colors of the New Pride Flag Mean?

People who are nonbinary may use gender-neutral pronouns. Although there are a variety of gender-neutral pronouns, the most commonly used is the singular ‘they.’ Instead of saying, “He/she went to the market to sell his/her wares,” you would say, “They went to the market to sell their wares” when referring to a person whose pronouns arethey/them/theirsor whose pronouns you are not aware of.

While referring to someone who uses they/them pronouns or using they/them to refer to someone whose pronouns you do not know is great, referring to binary trans people—especially trans women who use she/her only—with they/them is transphobic.

It can be difficult for some people to get used to using the singular they, but it gets easier with practice. If you think about it, many people use the singular whenever they’re referring to an abstract person or someone whose gender they don’t know. (The singular they was used twice in the previous sentence and you probably didn’t notice.)

It’s not that much harder to use the singular they to refer to people who use this pronoun. Plus,using a person’s correct pronounis both truthful and respectful. Misgendering (referring to a person with the wrong gender or pronouns) can cause mental health issues for transgender people.

If you are seeking support for issues with gender dysphoria, coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm, and more, contact theLGBT National Hotlineat1-888-843-4564for one-to-one peer support.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are seeking support for issues with gender dysphoria, coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm, and more, contact theLGBT National Hotlineat1-888-843-4564for one-to-one peer support.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

She/Her Pronouns: What They Mean and When to Use Them

9 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

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American Psychological Association.Guidelines for psychological practice with transgender and gender nonconforming people.Am Psychol. 2015;70(9):832-864. doi:10.1037/a0039906

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Harris CA, Blencowe N, Telem DA.What is in a pronoun?: Why gender-fair language matters.Ann Surg. 2017;266(6):932–933. doi:10.1097/SLA.0000000000002505

Ansara YG.Challenging cisgenderism in the ageing and aged care sector: Meeting the needs of older people of trans and/or non-binary experience.Australas J Ageing. 2015;34 Suppl 2:14–8. doi:10.1111/ajag.12278.

Esmonde N, Heston A, Ramly E, et al.What is “non-binary” and what do I need to know? A primer for surgeons providing chest surgery for transgender patients.Aesthet Surg J. 2019;39(5):NP106-NP112. doi:10.1093/asj/sjy166.

Hicks A, Hogan WR, Rutherford M, et al.Mining Twitter as a first step toward assessing the adequacy of gender identification terms on intake forms.AMIA Annu Symp Proc. 2015;2015:611-620.

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