Updated on 3/2/21
Do you ever feel like you’re not interested in sex the way that other people are? Maybe you feelattractionto people, but have no urge to do anything further. There’s nothing wrong with you — and you’re definitely not alone. Instead, you may be asexual, someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction. In fact, arecent studyfound that 1.7 percent of lesbian, gay, and bisexual people also identify as asexual.
5 Things to Know About Asexuality
Like many things, asexuality falls on a spectrum: some people may never experience sexual attraction at all. For others, sexual attraction may only be possible after forming a strong romantic connection (often called demisexuality). And speaking of romance: Just because you love someone, are in a relationship, or dream about being in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t be asexual. While there certainly are aromantic people —those that never experienceromanticattraction —it is extremely common to be romantically, but not sexuallyinterested in someone.
Here’s what everyone should know about being asexual:
1.Asexuality doesn’t mean you don’t have a libido
Just because you’re asexual, or “ace,” doesn’t mean you aren’t interested in sex. (Although it certainlycanmean that — everyone is different!) There are three disparate concepts: libido, or yoursex drive; sexualdesire, which is your explicit interest in sex;and sexualattraction, which means you have sexual interest in someone specific.
Plenty of asexual people have a libido or sexual desire, and they may even enjoy sex. They may express this through masturbation or through activity with a partner, even though they may have no sexual attraction. Remember: asexuality comes in many forms.
2.Asexuality and celibacy are not the same thing
3.There’s nothing wrong with asexual people
Not experiencing sexual attraction isn’t a flaw — it’s just part of your unique brand of humanness. Asexuality can’t be fixed through medication or therapy, although in many cases therapy can help you better accept yourself.
4.Nothing causes asexuality
Asexuality is just like the rest of the LGBTQ spectrum: it’s how you were born, and not the result of your childhood, your genes or anything that happened during your life. There’s nothing wrong with you! Yes, sometimes it’s difficult to accept a part of you that feels uncommon —but working with a qualified therapist will help you come to terms with the unique things that make youyou.
5.Asexuality won’t suddenly go away
One common misconception is that asexual people simply haven’t found the right person yet. Nothing could be further from the truth: asexuality won’t be “fixed” when you fall in love. But remember that just because you’re asexual doesn’t mean you won’t fall in love. Every day, asexual people date, get married or have children — or don’t, if that doesn’t interested them. Asexuality is part of your life, not your whole life.
Need help sorting out your feelings? A mental health professional can help you accept and love your uniqueness. If you identify as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you might considerLGBTQ+ Friendly online therapy, as working with atherapist of a similar backgroundcan give you a more fulfilling therapy experience.
Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.
Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.
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