What Does Gender Nonconforming Mean?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSex vs. GenderGender RolesGender Identity and ExpressionGender NonconformityTransgender PeopleNon-Binary PeopleHow to Be an AllyFrequently Asked Questions

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Sex vs. Gender

Gender Roles

Gender Identity and Expression

Gender Nonconformity

Transgender People

Non-Binary People

How to Be an Ally

Frequently Asked Questions

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Gender nonconforming means not adhering tosociety’s gender norms. People may describe themselves as gender nonconforming if they don’t conform to the gender expression, presentation, behaviors, roles, or expectations that society sees as the norm for their gender. People of any gender identity can be gender nonconforming.

Learn more about what it means to be gender nonconforming and how this relates to gender identity and expression. It’s also beneficial to know the steps you can take to support yourself or someone you love who is gender nonconforming, such as those offered here.

Also Known As:While some people who don’t follow gender stereotypes use the term gender nonconforming, others prefer terms such as:AgenderAndrogynousBigenderGender expansiveDifferently genderedGender creativeGender fluidGender diverseGender-neutralGender variantGenderqueerNonbinary

Also Known As:

While some people who don’t follow gender stereotypes use the term gender nonconforming, others prefer terms such as:AgenderAndrogynousBigenderGender expansiveDifferently genderedGender creativeGender fluidGender diverseGender-neutralGender variantGenderqueerNonbinary

While some people who don’t follow gender stereotypes use the term gender nonconforming, others prefer terms such as:

Before getting into gender nonconformity, it helps to be clear about what gender is. People often use the terms “sex” and “gender” interchangeably, but they’re not the same thing.

Sex is a group ofbiological traitslinked to reproduction. It refers to a person’s reproductive organs and functions based on their chromosomal makeup, which is typically XX for those with a female sex and XY for those with a male sex.

Conversely, gender is the set of roles, expectations, and scripts (generally called “norms”) that we ascribe to different sexes. Gender is socially constructed—meaning that gender roles appear when humans live in groups—and can vary from culture to culture.

Gender roles, despite existing wherever humans live together, refer to the traditional roles that people of a certain gender are expected to serve in society. These roles dictate the behaviors, attitudes, and often even the tasks people are expected to perform based on gender.

Such roles can vary from one culture to the next. However, every culture has a concept of gender and gender roles. In the United States, we have two long-standing stereotyped genders: men and women.Without thinking too hard, we can think of many sentences that stereotypically describe men and women in our culture:

Gender conformity is based on these norms. It contends that people with penises are men and they should be stoic, strong, hard workers, and protectors. By the same logic, people with vaginas are women and they should be gentle, passive, emotional, and nurturing.

In U.S. culture, gender roles help dictate who is supposed to be the primary financial provider in a household, who is expected to care for children, who is expected to manage household duties, and who is supposed to be the one who pursues others romantically. Not adhering to these gender roles and expectations can be a form of gender nonconformity.

Gender identity and expression are related to how people experience and express their gender.

It is important to recognize that anyone can be gender nonconforming. This includes people of any gender identity.

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Press Play for Advice on Undefining Masculinity

This episode ofThe Verywell Mind Podcastshares the value of undefining what it means to be a man, featuring author and actor Justin Baldoni. Click below to listen now.

Gender nonconformity is simply not conforming to gender roles. In practice, it can mean things as simple as a woman wearing a tie or something as complex and life-changing asadopting new pronouns.

There are obvious issues with using “nonconformity” as a way to describe people who don’t follow gender norms. It implies that conformity is a good and desirable thing, rather than something that harms everyone and can be stigmatizing.

Most of us have something nonconforming about the way we live and express our gender. Some women don’t wear makeup but otherwise dress feminine, for example, and some men prefer to be stay-at-home dads.

Living out every gender norm in our culture is an impossible task. However, seeing the transgression of gender norms can make some people uncomfortable. This discomfort comes from an ingrained human need to categorize people and one of the more important categories we have for classifying humans is gender.

This categorization allows a lot of other judgments to be made: if this person is dangerous, if this person is a potential mate, what this person possibly does for a living, and more. Some individuals, when they meet someone they can’t categorize easily, react with discomfort and confusion.

Societal Reactions

Gender roles and expectations for gender conformity contribute to discrimination and even violence against gender non-conforming people.There are many structures, institutions, and beliefs that try to keep people in neat, separate categories based on their gender assigned at birth.

When someone breaks out of the box, they are often met with harassment designed to force them to conform. Gender roles limit what a person can do, and they reduce a person’s life to what they “should” do. It forces people to perform what is expected of them rather thanlive authenticallyas who they feel they are.

An important concern when it comes to gender conformity is how it applies totransgender people. “Transgender” means identifying with a gender that is different from a person’s assigned gender at birth. Transgender women are women who were assigned male at birth, and transgender men are men who were assigned female at birth.

People who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth are called cisgender. (Cis means “this side” and trans means “that side” or “across.") Unlikecisgender people, transgender people are often required to perform their gender to an extreme to be accepted.

Transgender women, for example, often feel forced to be ultra-feminine in ways that cisgender women don’t have to be. Despite the inherent gender nonconformity of being transgender, there is even more pressure on transgender people to perform their gender identity in very visible and obvious ways.

This pressure reinforces the actions a transgender person feels they must take to acceptably “join” whatever gender identity they align with. To do otherwise means to risk their acceptance as a man or a woman.

Cisgender PrivilegeLooking at gender nonconformity and transgender performance of gender puts cisgender privilege into stark contrast. While transgender people are at risk of violence simply for being transgender, they are further ostracized and oppressed if they do not perform their gender identity visibly and perfectly. On the other hand, cisgender people are allowed much more leeway in their gender presentation.

Cisgender Privilege

Looking at gender nonconformity and transgender performance of gender puts cisgender privilege into stark contrast. While transgender people are at risk of violence simply for being transgender, they are further ostracized and oppressed if they do not perform their gender identity visibly and perfectly. On the other hand, cisgender people are allowed much more leeway in their gender presentation.

Another topic to address when speaking about gender nonconformity is those who fall under the umbrella of non-binary.Non-binary peoplecan be:

Many cultures have some concept of athird gender or non-binary gender identity.These people often occupy special or sacred roles in their societies.

Being gender non-binary does not mean not ever performing gender in typical ways. Many non-binary people have more feminine or masculine presentations, while others prefer a gender-neutral appearance. Appearing feminine or masculine does not, however, cancel out their identity as non-binary.

How to Support Gender Nonconforming People

There are steps you can take to support others who are gender nonconforming or to seek support if you are gender nonconforming.

Taking care of yourself is also vital. Research suggests thatpracticing mindfulnessand self-compassion can help improve psychological health in people who are gender nonconforming.

Summary

Gender is flexible and not necessarily related to biology. While the majority of the population has a cisgender identity, there are many who do not. The relaxing of gender roles over time has allowed for a variety of different gender identities.

These identities have always existed, but social and cultural conditions often made them dangerous to express. Violence and oppression related to gender nonconformity are some of the most pressing problems related to this issue. We need to learn that gender is not a prescription for life, but rather a stage where people can experiment and express their authentic selves.

Gender dysphoriainvolves feelings of discomfort, distress, and conflict between a person’s assigned-at-birth gender and gender identity. People who experience gender dysphoria may also be gender nonconforming, gender fluid, or transgender. However, not everyone who is gender nonconforming experiences gender dysphoria.Learn More:What Is Gender Dysphoria?

Gender dysphoriainvolves feelings of discomfort, distress, and conflict between a person’s assigned-at-birth gender and gender identity. People who experience gender dysphoria may also be gender nonconforming, gender fluid, or transgender. However, not everyone who is gender nonconforming experiences gender dysphoria.

Learn More:What Is Gender Dysphoria?

Nonbinary is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity is not restricted to the gender binary.It encompasses a number of gender identities, including gender fluidity. People who are gender fluid do not have a fixed gender identity or expression. Other nonbinary identities include agender, genderqueer, and gender nonconforming.Learn More:What Is Gender Fluid?

Nonbinary is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity is not restricted to the gender binary.It encompasses a number of gender identities, including gender fluidity. People who are gender fluid do not have a fixed gender identity or expression. Other nonbinary identities include agender, genderqueer, and gender nonconforming.

Learn More:What Is Gender Fluid?

A 2021 study of transgender/gender nonconforming adults found that 72% reported experiencing at least one form of intimate partner violence at some point during their life.Psychological violence was the most common, with physical and sexual violence also frequently reported. The study added that intimate partner violence was linked to increased rates of anxiety.Learn More:Intimate Partner Violence Types and Signs

A 2021 study of transgender/gender nonconforming adults found that 72% reported experiencing at least one form of intimate partner violence at some point during their life.Psychological violence was the most common, with physical and sexual violence also frequently reported. The study added that intimate partner violence was linked to increased rates of anxiety.

Learn More:Intimate Partner Violence Types and Signs

Learn More:About They/Them Pronouns

An Overview of Non-Binary Terms

12 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

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Brown A.About 5% of young adults in the U.S. say their gender is different from their sex assigned at birth. Pew Research Center.

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