While we as a society are becoming more open about sexuality, one thing we can’t avoid talking about is fantasies. I’m not talking about sex dreams –– I’m talking about the sexy scenarios we create ourselves in our waking life. You may have one particular recurring fantasy that you can’t get out of your head, or you may have a lot of them across the board. You may be dying to create these fantasies in real life, or you might be content with simply just imagining the scenarios.
Where Do Fantasies Come From?
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.Learn more
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Couples Therapy Online
Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Learn more
What Do Fantasies Mean?
We humans are always so eager to label and understand our feelings instead of just feeling them. When it comes to sex, a lot of people get concerned when their desires aren’t vanilla (AKA, traditional) and they get nervous that what they’re feeling is “weird” or “not normal.” Certain things, quite simply, turn us on. Sometimes there may be no rhyme or reason. We might be surprised at what we find ourselves fantasizing about, but no matter how surprising or out there a fantasy might be, you shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed.
Benefits of Fantasizing
Being Comfortable With the Uncomfortable
One thing youcertainlymight feel uncomfortable bringing up? Fantasizing about someone other than your partner. Just because you’re fantasizing about someone other than your partner, it doesn’t mean that you are going to cheat on them. Tolman says, “Fantasies are incredibly personal. If you are fantasizing about someone other than your partner, that is your business!”
Ask yourself if you’re truly happy with your partner
However, if you’re fantasizing so much about someone else that you feel like you can’t focus on enjoying your partner, or you have actual intentions of hooking up with the person you’re fantasizing about,thatmight be a cause for concern. This concern should urge you to look harder at your relationship and whether you’re truly happy with your partner –– sexually and otherwise.
Start with yourself
Now, what’s one to do with all these sexy fantasies? Luckily you have options, whether you want to share them with a partner or not. The first, of course, ismasturbation. Maybe you don’t feel ready to share your fantasies with your partner just yet, or you don’t have a partner to enact your fantasies with. Fantasizing is a great way to get yourself in the mood for a solo sex session. If painting a picture in your own mind isn’t enough and you want to get more visual, I can almost guarantee you that you can find some porn or erotica somewhere on the web catering to virtually any kink.
Role play with your partner
Fantasy Can Be Healthy, So Why Not Explore It
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