What Determines Sexual Attraction, Exactly?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsBiological Factors That Affect AttractionPsychological Factors That Affect AttractionOther Factors

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Biological Factors That Affect Attraction

Psychological Factors That Affect Attraction

Other Factors

Close

First up, just to state the obvious for a second let’s talk about what sexual attraction is. According to the LBGTQ Center at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill, sexual attraction is “attraction that makes people desire sexual contact or showssexual interestin another person(s).”

Pretty self-explanatory, right? What’s less self-explanatory is how it happens in the brain. Everyone has been in the situation of not understanding why they are or aren’t attracted to another person, and it turns out science has a lot to do with why.

This article explores the many factors that affect your level of attraction to other people.

What Are the 6 Types of Attraction?

When you meet someone new, it might be difficult to discern why you find yourself attracted to (or not attracted to) them. However, studies show that biology has a lot to do with your level of attraction to someone else.

Adrenaline and Excitement

Let’s talk about one of the cornerstone studies in the psychology field regardingattraction: The Love Bridge study.This study made the connection between arousal and attraction. In this study, psychologists Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron had 85 men walk across either a scary suspension bridge or a sturdy regular bridge.

In other words, they were excited about something, and that person was there for them to project their excitement on. Looking back, it’s likely that the men just remembered feeling excited and then seeing a pretty woman.

Another studyshowed a photo of a moderately attractive person to people getting on or off of a roller coaster. They asked the people to rate the photo in terms of attractiveness anddating desirability. They were also asked to rate their seatmate’s desirability. The people getting off the roller coaster rated their seatmates higher in terms of attractiveness than those getting on the roller coaster.

What Is Sexual Tension?

Natural Scent

Then, of course, there’s always the case for pheromones, which is a natural scent that your body produces.

Aside from biology, psychology plays a role in how attractive you perceive someone else to be.

Mood

For example, if you’ve just received great news, you’re more likely to like the next person you meet more than you normally would. This, Lehmiller says, can impact whether or not you’re likely todevelop an attractionto them.

Attachment Style, Values, and Emotions

Patrick Wanis, PhD, human behavior and relationship expert, says thatattachment stylescan also greatly impact attraction. On his blog, he suggests that “wesubconsciouslybecome attracted to people who will reflect and reinforce our beliefs and expectations about caring, trust,abandonment, dependence, support, intimacy, vulnerability.”

Wanis also believes that people search for partners with similar values and beliefs and people at similar life stages.

Another studysupported the idea that people look for similarities in terms of attraction. It found that people were more drawn to others whose emotions and motivations felt familiar.

The study had people watch others as they experienced differentemotions. It found that they were more likely to be attracted to people whose emotions they could understand without it being explicitly stated.

Winning Someone Over

Finally, while everyone can agree that it’s nice to be liked, one study found that people also like the idea of winning someone over. The study asked co-ed students to eavesdrop on their partner and another group.

While they liked it when they found out that their partner had apositive impressionof them, they actually liked it even more when they found out that the person’s impression of them had started negatively and turned positive. This way, the person felt like their partner’s feelings were more indicative of their true feelings about their personality.

My Partner Doesn’t Find Me Attractive Anymore

While you can’t control biological and psychological factors, there are some things you have a bit more control over in terms of how attractive you find other people. Here are a few of those factors.

Location

Where you live can impact your level of attraction to others in terms of proximity to people and access to different types of people. This can be as simple as who is available at the moment (think of your neighbor from the college dorm).

One study showed that women from healthier countries preferred men with more feminine qualities, whereas women from developing nations preferred men with more traditionally masculine features. The study actually found that across 30 countries, as the country’s health decreased, the preferences formasculinityincreased.

Scarcity

Lehmiller also references the idea of scarcity and uses the example of the “closing time effect,” which suggests that people at a bar will rate other patrons as more attractive the closer they get to closing time.Basically, the more limited the options become, the more likely people are to settle for whatever is available at the time.

Familial Relationships

Keep in Mind

While there have been lots of studies on what people find attractive, a big part of it is still dependent on your personal preferences and past experiences. If you are currently looking for a partner, we hope this encourages you as opposed to discouraging you. Think of it this way: biology takes care of a lot of the heavy lifting for you if you are willing to pay attention to it.

How to Use the ‘Marilyn Monroe Effect’ to Exude Confidence

12 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation. LGBT Center UNC Chapel Hill.Dutton DG, Aron AP.Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.1974;30(4):510–517.White GL, Fishbein S, Rutsein J.Passionate love and the misattribution of arousal.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.1981;41(1):56–62.Meston CM, Frohlich PF.Love at First Fright: Partner Salience Moderates Roller-Coaster-Induced Excitation Transfer.Archives of Sexual Behavior. 2003;32(6).Wedekind C, Penn D.MHC genes, body odours, and odour preferences.Nephrology Dialysis Transplantation.2000;15(9):1269–1271.Roberts SA, Simpson DM, Armstrong SD, et al.Darcin: a male pheromone that stimulates female memory and sexual attraction to an individual male’s odour.BMC Biol.2010;8(75).Lehmiller J.Where Do Our Sexual Attractions Come From?.Sex and Psychology By Dr. Justin Lehmiller.Wanis P.7 Factor of Attraction.Patrick Wanis Behavior Expert.Anders S, Jong R de, Beck C, Haynes J-D, Ethofer T.A neural link between affective understanding and interpersonal attraction.PNAS. 2016;113(16).Aronson E, Linder D.Gain and loss of esteem as determinants of interpersonal attractiveness.Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.1965;1(2):156-171.DeBruine LM, Jones BC, Crawford JR, Welling LL, Little AC.The health of a nation predicts their mate preferences: cross-cultural variation in women’s preferences for masculinized male faces.Proc Biol Sci. 2010;277(1692):2405-2410. doi:10.1098/rspb.2009.2184Lehmiller J.Do People Get Better Looking When The Bar Is About To Close?.Sex & Psychology By Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

12 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation. LGBT Center UNC Chapel Hill.Dutton DG, Aron AP.Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.1974;30(4):510–517.White GL, Fishbein S, Rutsein J.Passionate love and the misattribution of arousal.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.1981;41(1):56–62.Meston CM, Frohlich PF.Love at First Fright: Partner Salience Moderates Roller-Coaster-Induced Excitation Transfer.Archives of Sexual Behavior. 2003;32(6).Wedekind C, Penn D.MHC genes, body odours, and odour preferences.Nephrology Dialysis Transplantation.2000;15(9):1269–1271.Roberts SA, Simpson DM, Armstrong SD, et al.Darcin: a male pheromone that stimulates female memory and sexual attraction to an individual male’s odour.BMC Biol.2010;8(75).Lehmiller J.Where Do Our Sexual Attractions Come From?.Sex and Psychology By Dr. Justin Lehmiller.Wanis P.7 Factor of Attraction.Patrick Wanis Behavior Expert.Anders S, Jong R de, Beck C, Haynes J-D, Ethofer T.A neural link between affective understanding and interpersonal attraction.PNAS. 2016;113(16).Aronson E, Linder D.Gain and loss of esteem as determinants of interpersonal attractiveness.Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.1965;1(2):156-171.DeBruine LM, Jones BC, Crawford JR, Welling LL, Little AC.The health of a nation predicts their mate preferences: cross-cultural variation in women’s preferences for masculinized male faces.Proc Biol Sci. 2010;277(1692):2405-2410. doi:10.1098/rspb.2009.2184Lehmiller J.Do People Get Better Looking When The Bar Is About To Close?.Sex & Psychology By Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation. LGBT Center UNC Chapel Hill.Dutton DG, Aron AP.Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.1974;30(4):510–517.White GL, Fishbein S, Rutsein J.Passionate love and the misattribution of arousal.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.1981;41(1):56–62.Meston CM, Frohlich PF.Love at First Fright: Partner Salience Moderates Roller-Coaster-Induced Excitation Transfer.Archives of Sexual Behavior. 2003;32(6).Wedekind C, Penn D.MHC genes, body odours, and odour preferences.Nephrology Dialysis Transplantation.2000;15(9):1269–1271.Roberts SA, Simpson DM, Armstrong SD, et al.Darcin: a male pheromone that stimulates female memory and sexual attraction to an individual male’s odour.BMC Biol.2010;8(75).Lehmiller J.Where Do Our Sexual Attractions Come From?.Sex and Psychology By Dr. Justin Lehmiller.Wanis P.7 Factor of Attraction.Patrick Wanis Behavior Expert.Anders S, Jong R de, Beck C, Haynes J-D, Ethofer T.A neural link between affective understanding and interpersonal attraction.PNAS. 2016;113(16).Aronson E, Linder D.Gain and loss of esteem as determinants of interpersonal attractiveness.Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.1965;1(2):156-171.DeBruine LM, Jones BC, Crawford JR, Welling LL, Little AC.The health of a nation predicts their mate preferences: cross-cultural variation in women’s preferences for masculinized male faces.Proc Biol Sci. 2010;277(1692):2405-2410. doi:10.1098/rspb.2009.2184Lehmiller J.Do People Get Better Looking When The Bar Is About To Close?.Sex & Psychology By Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation. LGBT Center UNC Chapel Hill.

Dutton DG, Aron AP.Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.1974;30(4):510–517.

White GL, Fishbein S, Rutsein J.Passionate love and the misattribution of arousal.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.1981;41(1):56–62.

Meston CM, Frohlich PF.Love at First Fright: Partner Salience Moderates Roller-Coaster-Induced Excitation Transfer.Archives of Sexual Behavior. 2003;32(6).

Wedekind C, Penn D.MHC genes, body odours, and odour preferences.Nephrology Dialysis Transplantation.2000;15(9):1269–1271.

Roberts SA, Simpson DM, Armstrong SD, et al.Darcin: a male pheromone that stimulates female memory and sexual attraction to an individual male’s odour.BMC Biol.2010;8(75).

Lehmiller J.Where Do Our Sexual Attractions Come From?.Sex and Psychology By Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

Wanis P.7 Factor of Attraction.Patrick Wanis Behavior Expert.

Anders S, Jong R de, Beck C, Haynes J-D, Ethofer T.A neural link between affective understanding and interpersonal attraction.PNAS. 2016;113(16).

Aronson E, Linder D.Gain and loss of esteem as determinants of interpersonal attractiveness.Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.1965;1(2):156-171.

DeBruine LM, Jones BC, Crawford JR, Welling LL, Little AC.The health of a nation predicts their mate preferences: cross-cultural variation in women’s preferences for masculinized male faces.Proc Biol Sci. 2010;277(1692):2405-2410. doi:10.1098/rspb.2009.2184

Lehmiller J.Do People Get Better Looking When The Bar Is About To Close?.Sex & Psychology By Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?