What Can Help When You're Feeling Hopeless

Information in this article might be triggering to some people. If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Whether you feel hopeless about your ability to get out of debt or you feel hopeless about almost everything in life, it is an awful feeling.

Feeling stuck in a place of hopelessness makes life really tough.Fortunately, there are some things you can do when you’re feeling hopeless to make life a bit better—no matter how bad things might seem.

Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Hopelessness

Consider That Your Brain Might Be Lying to You

Your brain might tell you that things are awful, horrible, and dreadful. It may try to convince you that you can’t succeed or tell you that there’s no chance things are going to get better.

But just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Your thoughts may be distorted, inaccurate, or downright wrong.

Hopeless feelings fuel hopeless thoughts. And it’s easy to get caught up in a negative cycle that makes it hard to see that things can get better.

You might even think things like, “I’ve tried everything already and nothing works!” But that’s probably acognitive distortion. You may have tried a few things—or even 10 things—but you likely haven’t tried everything.

At least be open to the idea that the way you’re thinking might not be accurate. There may be more hope than you imagine.

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Argue the Opposite

When you feel hopeless, you’ll likely think about all the reasons why nothing will ever get better. So take a few minutes to argue the opposite.

What’s the evidence that things might work out better than you expect? Or how might things actually get better?

Thinking a bit about the potential positives can open you up to more possibilities. And while there’s a chance that things might not turn out great, there’s also a chance that they might not turn out as bad (or stay as bad) as you’re anticipating.

Arguing the opposite might just open your brain up to the idea that things may not be as gloomy as you’re anticipating.

Think About What You Gain From Feeling Hopeless

Thinking about what you gain from being hopeless sounds like a strange exercise on the surface. After all, you might be thinking, “I don’t gain anything. I don’t want to feel this way.”

But, upon a little more reflection you might discover that feeling hopeless protects you from being disappointed. If you don’t expect anything good to happen, you don’t have to worry about being disappointed if things go poorly.

Being hopeless also might help you feel all right about not taking action.

Consider What You Could Gain From Developing Hope

On the flipside, consider what you could gain if you became more hopeful. How might your life change? What would you be doing differently if you had hope?

Then, you might go ahead and start acting as if you were hopeful.

For example, you might realize that if you had hope, you’d be going out and meeting new people. Or, you’d be applying for a new job. Go do those things, even if you aren’t hopeful, they’ll work.

Sometimes, you have to change your behavior first and the feelings might follow. So if you act hopeful, you might start to eventually feel more hopeful.

Engage In Problem-Solving

There is always something you can do tosolve a problemor to change how you feel about the problem. Spend some time thinking about potential solutions to the problem. Brainstorm ideas and keep them in mind, you don’t even necessarily need good ideas. Just see if you can come up with as many strategies as you can to address a problem.

If you can’t solve the problem (like in the case of a loved one’s illness), consider how to change how you feel about the problem. Could spending time with family members help you feel a little better? Might you feel a little more hopeful if you took a mental health day from the workplace?

There’s always something you can do to make things a little better or tohelp yourself feel a little better.

Talk to a Trusted Friend or Family Member

When you’re struggling to identify possible solutions or you are having a hard time getting unstuck, reach out to a trusted friend or family member. Tell them what you’re experiencing.

They may be able to help you see things from a different perspective. Or, they may offer strategies that can help you feel better.

It can be hard to tell people what you’re going through. However, telling someone could be key to helping you gain a little more hope about your situation.

How to Talk to Friends About Your Depression

Develop a Plan

Keep in mind that if plan A doesn’t work, you can always have a plan B. Think of your plan as an experiment and your job is torun as many experiments as you canuntil you discover what works.

Take Action

Once you have a plan in place, it’s important to take action.

Seek Professional Help

Hopelessness can be a symptom of a mental health issue, likedepression.So if your feelings of hopelessness last more than two weeks or you’re concerned about your mental health, talk to someone.

A mental health professional can assess your needs and discuss your treatment options, like talk therapy or medication. Most mental health issues are very treatable. Treatment can help you feel more hopeful about the future.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

A Word From Verywell

Remember, just because things feel hopeless doesn’t mean they are. With a little help from someone else or a slightly different perspective, you might discover that things can get better.

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5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Haatainen K, Tanskanen A, Kylmä J, Honkalampi K, Koivumaa-Honkanen H, Hintikka J, Viinamäki H.Factors associated with hopelessness: a population study.Int J Soc Psychiatry. 2004 Jun;50(2):142-52. doi:10.1177/0020764004040961Starr LR, Davila J.Responding to anxiety with rumination and hopelessness: mechanism of anxiety-depression symptom co-occurrence?Cognit Ther Res. 2012;36(4):321-337. doi:10.1007/s10608-011-9363-1Larsson A, Hooper N, Osborne LA, Bennett P, McHugh L.Using brief cognitive restructuring and cognitive defusion techniques to cope with negative thoughts.Behav Modif. 2016;40(3):452-82. doi:10.1177/0145445515621488Griffiths KM, Crisp DA, Barney L, Reid R.Seeking help for depression from family and friends: a qualitative analysis of perceived advantages and disadvantages.BMC Psychiatry. 2011;11:196. doi:10.1186/1471-244X-11-196Assari S, Lankarani MM.Depressive symptoms are associated with more hopelessness among white than black older adults.Front Public Health. 2016;4:82. doi:10.3389/fpubh.2016.00082

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Haatainen K, Tanskanen A, Kylmä J, Honkalampi K, Koivumaa-Honkanen H, Hintikka J, Viinamäki H.Factors associated with hopelessness: a population study.Int J Soc Psychiatry. 2004 Jun;50(2):142-52. doi:10.1177/0020764004040961Starr LR, Davila J.Responding to anxiety with rumination and hopelessness: mechanism of anxiety-depression symptom co-occurrence?Cognit Ther Res. 2012;36(4):321-337. doi:10.1007/s10608-011-9363-1Larsson A, Hooper N, Osborne LA, Bennett P, McHugh L.Using brief cognitive restructuring and cognitive defusion techniques to cope with negative thoughts.Behav Modif. 2016;40(3):452-82. doi:10.1177/0145445515621488Griffiths KM, Crisp DA, Barney L, Reid R.Seeking help for depression from family and friends: a qualitative analysis of perceived advantages and disadvantages.BMC Psychiatry. 2011;11:196. doi:10.1186/1471-244X-11-196Assari S, Lankarani MM.Depressive symptoms are associated with more hopelessness among white than black older adults.Front Public Health. 2016;4:82. doi:10.3389/fpubh.2016.00082

Haatainen K, Tanskanen A, Kylmä J, Honkalampi K, Koivumaa-Honkanen H, Hintikka J, Viinamäki H.Factors associated with hopelessness: a population study.Int J Soc Psychiatry. 2004 Jun;50(2):142-52. doi:10.1177/0020764004040961Starr LR, Davila J.Responding to anxiety with rumination and hopelessness: mechanism of anxiety-depression symptom co-occurrence?Cognit Ther Res. 2012;36(4):321-337. doi:10.1007/s10608-011-9363-1Larsson A, Hooper N, Osborne LA, Bennett P, McHugh L.Using brief cognitive restructuring and cognitive defusion techniques to cope with negative thoughts.Behav Modif. 2016;40(3):452-82. doi:10.1177/0145445515621488Griffiths KM, Crisp DA, Barney L, Reid R.Seeking help for depression from family and friends: a qualitative analysis of perceived advantages and disadvantages.BMC Psychiatry. 2011;11:196. doi:10.1186/1471-244X-11-196Assari S, Lankarani MM.Depressive symptoms are associated with more hopelessness among white than black older adults.Front Public Health. 2016;4:82. doi:10.3389/fpubh.2016.00082

Starr LR, Davila J.Responding to anxiety with rumination and hopelessness: mechanism of anxiety-depression symptom co-occurrence?Cognit Ther Res. 2012;36(4):321-337. doi:10.1007/s10608-011-9363-1

Larsson A, Hooper N, Osborne LA, Bennett P, McHugh L.Using brief cognitive restructuring and cognitive defusion techniques to cope with negative thoughts.Behav Modif. 2016;40(3):452-82. doi:10.1177/0145445515621488

Griffiths KM, Crisp DA, Barney L, Reid R.Seeking help for depression from family and friends: a qualitative analysis of perceived advantages and disadvantages.BMC Psychiatry. 2011;11:196. doi:10.1186/1471-244X-11-196

Assari S, Lankarani MM.Depressive symptoms are associated with more hopelessness among white than black older adults.Front Public Health. 2016;4:82. doi:10.3389/fpubh.2016.00082

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Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Hopelessness#

Consider That Your Brain Might Be Lying to You#

Argue the Opposite#

Think About What You Gain From Feeling Hopeless#

Consider What You Could Gain From Developing Hope#

Engage In Problem-Solving#

Talk to a Trusted Friend or Family Member#

Develop a Plan#

Take Action#

Seek Professional Help#

Get Help Now#

A Word From Verywell#