What Are the Signs That Someone Doesn’t Want to Be Your Friend?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy Genuine Friendships MatterSigns to Look ForHow to Handle ItAre You a Likable Person? Take the Test

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Why Genuine Friendships Matter

Signs to Look For

How to Handle It

Are You a Likable Person? Take the Test

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There are times in life when it seems like someone isn’t genuinely interested in being your friend. Several telltale indicators include being reserved during your interactions, consistently failing to initiate contact, and constantly giving excuses in order to avoid plans.

To help you identify real friends from mere acquaintances, we’ll share tips on what to look out for. This article also covers how you can deal with this situation.

Why Recognizing True Friendships Matters

Because humans arelargely social creatures, it’s natural to crave companionship and the company of others. While making andkeeping friendsis a vital part of your social and everyday life,after a certain ageit can get a little difficult to find like-minded people who are willing to share their joys, fears, happiness, and worries with you.

If you’ve met someone new or have an existing companion who you consider a friend, there are times when you may be unsure if they look at you the same way.

“If you’re the one constantly reaching out and trying to maintain the friendship, while the other person seems passive or uninterested, it may be a sign that the other person doesn’t want to be your friend and doesn’t value your relationship,” saysAvigail Lev, PsyD, the Founder and Director of the Bay Area CBT Center.

Not every friendship works out, and people oftendrift apart for various reasons, from changing interests to busy schedules.

Because your time is limited, focus on devoting your energy toward genuine friendships with people who genuinely value you. If you feel like someone doesn’t really want to be your friend, it may be time to let the relationship go.

How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life

Signs Someone Doesn’t Want to Be Your Friend

Sometimes it’s easy to tell when someone doesn’t truly want to be friends, but the signs can also be more subtle. Relationships change over time, and you may find that people who used to be more invested in the relationship start to become more distant.

In either case, here are a few signs that someonedoesn’t want to be friends:

You Always Reach Out First

While there’s no denying that our daily lives can get very busy, it may be a warning sign when you find that you constantly have to make the first move with a supposed friend, whether it is with phone calls, texts, or emails.

“You might also notice that they are often unavailable or unresponsive. They don’t get back to your texts or messages, or they take a really long time to reply. It can feel like you’re the one always reaching out, and they don’t make an effort to keep in touch,” says Lev.

Lack of Genuine Enthusiasm

In another strike, a person could send signs that they are uninterested in a personal relationship with you consider the responses they give during your interactions.

Not that someone has to jump for joy when they hear from you, but friendship is a two-way street. If someone always sounds like they’d rather be doing something else, this is a sign they may not be very interested in a friendship.

Being Reserved or Rude During Interactions

While a friend might use relaxed language, share a few jokes, or otherwise interact in a light-hearted manner, a person that doesn’t consider you their friend may sound more official or formal, giving clipped responses when you meet up with them in person or otherwise engaging them in conversation.

They Avoid Meeting Up or Tend to Cancel Plans

An unfortunately hurtful way to identify someone uninterested in friendship is how little you see them. After taking the pains to invite them for drinks, a gallery opening, to check out your apartment, or another occasion, there always tends to be an excuse explaining why they cannot attend on the specified day.

In even worse cases, they may agree to meet up with you only to cancel on the day of through any number of means of postponement. These constant excuses and cancellations take a toll not only on the friendship but on your well-being as well.

“It can leave you feeling like you’re not a priority in their life,” Lev suggests.

It’s Time to Spring Clean Our Relationships

You Put in More Effort Than They Do

If you find that you are routinely putting in more effort in the friendship, or performing very imbalanced acts of love for your supposed companion, this could mean that they view your interactions as something other, and usually less than a friendship.

They Do Not Engage With You on Social Media

While this may not always indicate that a person doesn’t want you as a friend, taking note of your social media engagements with them could paint a clearer picture of the true state of your relationship.

Social media shunning may seem trivial, but it can be a valid way to determine how a person really feels about you.

Note that not everyone uses social media in the same way, so don’t assume that someone isn’t your friend if they are less open or communicative on Facebook or Instagram.

They Only Talk About Their Interests

There are special cases where a person may tick many of the minor boxes that make up a friend: responding to calls, agreeing to meetings, checking in from time to time, but depending on the topics that your interactions cover, you may be able to tell whether or not they truly view you as a true friend.

If it feels like the conversations are one-sided and they don’t show curiosity about what’s going on with you, then it may be a sign that they don’t want to be your friend.—AVIGAIL LEV, PSYD, FOUNDER & DIRECTOR OF THE BAY AREA CBT CENTER

If it feels like the conversations are one-sided and they don’t show curiosity about what’s going on with you, then it may be a sign that they don’t want to be your friend.

—AVIGAIL LEV, PSYD, FOUNDER & DIRECTOR OF THE BAY AREA CBT CENTER

When you find it hard to contribute anything to the conversation because your acquaintancegoes on and onabout their accomplishments, how they spent their week, what projects they are finding difficult, etc, this could be telling that they merely view you as a soundboard, and care less for what may be happening in your life.

A friend would want to listen to how you have been coping, any exciting projects you have been working on, they might even tease you about your love life, but you will always feel like it is an interaction and not a therapy session, where you have to play the role of silent listener.

Strengthen Friendships With Good Listening Skills

How to Handle a One-Sided Friendship

There are many reasons why friendship is such avalued partof our society. A real friend is there for you in the good times, and will provide a helping hand through less-than-rosy periods. This is why care has to be taken when selecting people to be part of your inner circle.

When a person doesn’t count you as a friend, it means you may be in what is essentially aone-sided friendship. you may tell through their words and actions and the effect their indifferent attitude may have on your well-being. Just as you cannot expect to be friends with everyone, not everyone is going to be friends with you.

That’s why it’s essential to read the signs and pull back from people who do not want to be friends rather than spend time trying to force something that isn’t there.

If someone is sending signals that they don’t want to be friends, it is important to heed those signs. However, it is just as important to avoid feeling bad about yourself.

Not all people are compatible, and it’s possible that the other person has things going on in their life that might be standing in the way of your friendship. Instead, focus on directing your energy toward other people who are more receptive to your gestures of friendship.

While accepting that you may not be a person’s cup of tea can be painful, it can also serve as an opportunity to appreciate the loved ones ready to stick with you through thick and thin. Keeping your chin up and moving past the disappointment may be hard, but it will leave you better off in the long run.

Is Your Friend Sabotaging You? Watch Out For These Red Flags

This fast, free quiz can help give you insight into whether or not you possess traits that could make you more or less likable.

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