Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Is Attraction?Physical AttractionEmotional AttractionRomantic AttractionSexual AttractionAesthetic AttractionIntellectual AttractionThe Impact of AttractionAttraction and RelationshipsUnderstanding AttractionWhen to Get Help
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
What Is Attraction?
Physical Attraction
Emotional Attraction
Romantic Attraction
Sexual Attraction
Aesthetic Attraction
Intellectual Attraction
The Impact of Attraction
Attraction and Relationships
Understanding Attraction
When to Get Help
Close
Although it’s common to think of attraction in a sexual or romantic context, humans experience physical, aesthetic, intellectual, and emotional types of attraction, as well—and sometimes, a mix of all six. Learn about the six types of attraction and how they can affect your relationships.
What Happens When We Feel Romantic Chemistry, and How Much Does It Matter?
People commonly think of “attraction” in a sexual context. However, humans experience attraction in different ways—six of them, to be exact, plus combinations thereof. Understanding the ways in which you feel attraction can help you strengthen yourself-awarenessand discover what you need in relationships.
Attraction plays an important role in interpersonal chemistry—the instant connection you sometimes feel when meeting someone for the first time.
Physical attractioninvolves a desire to touch or be touched. It often centers on the desire to be around other people and to show love andaffection through physical touch.Physical attraction is not the same as sexual attraction, although they share some similarities.
Whereas sexual attraction focuses on becoming involved sexually, physical attraction focuses on other forms of touch that are not necessarily sexual. Hugging, kissing, and other physical forms of physical affection are a few examples of how this type of attraction may be expressed.
Emotional attraction involves having an affinity for another person based on theirpersonalityor other inner characteristics. When you are emotionally attracted to someone, you often feel a desire to learn more about them because of who they are as a person and not because of their physical appearance.
This type of attraction plays an important role in all types of close interpersonal relationships, including friendships and romantic relationships.
Research suggests that emotional attraction can play a pivotal role in the success of romantic relationships. One study found that being emotionally accessible was more important than being sexually accessible. Couples who lacked this emotional connection were more likely to break up.
Being emotionally attracted to other people can also help in the formation and maintenance of relationships over the long term. When you are more emotionally invested in another person, you are more likely to ask questions and pay attention to the thing they are interested in.
When you invest more of your energy into a relationship, you are more likely to build a deeperintimacythat supports a deeper, longer-lasting connection.
How to Know If You’re Demisexual
Romantic attraction is a type of attraction in which people desire a romantic relationship with another person. It is not the same thing as sexual attraction, although the two can often occur at the same time. Romantic attraction can also occur without the desire for physical or sexual contact.
For example, a person who isaromanticexperiences little to no romantic attraction to others. The termalloromanticis used to describe people who do experience romantic attraction.Demiromanticis a term that describes a person who only experiences romantic attraction under certain circumstances.
Sexual attractionis an attraction based on the desire to engage in sexual activity with another person. It can inspire feelings of arousal andlust, and it isn’t necessarily limited to real life. It can also involvefantasiesor a sexual attraction to people who you find appealing and arousing but who you will never have intimate contact with (like a crush on your favorite celebrity).
While physical attraction andromantic attraction often overlap with sexual attraction, there is a great deal of variety in terms of what people experience in terms of romantic and sexual attraction.
For example, people who areasexualdon’t feel a desire to have a sexual relationship with other people, but they may still experience romantic attraction and enjoy being involved in romantic relationships.
Thesplit attraction model (SAM), is a way of understanding how sexual attraction may differ from romantic attraction. According to this framework, the genders of people a person is romantically attracted to may not necessarily be the same as the genders of people they are attracted to sexually.
RecapSexual attraction involves a desire to become sexually involved with another person. While it often occurs alongside romantic attraction, the two are not the same. Sexual attraction can occur without romantic attraction, and vice versa.
Recap
Sexual attraction involves a desire to become sexually involved with another person. While it often occurs alongside romantic attraction, the two are not the same. Sexual attraction can occur without romantic attraction, and vice versa.
Aesthetic attraction involves believing that something is beautiful and visually appealing but not feeling the need to pursue any type of physical, romantic, platonic, or sexual relationship.
When you describe someone you may or may not know (even a celebrity) as beautiful, you’re feeling aesthetic attraction—an objective affinity for the person’s appearance that doesn’t involve any desire for contact.
Aesthetic attraction also applies to other visual objects, from the products you choose to buy to the type of decor you select.
Intellectual attraction refers to finding someone’s thoughts or intellect appealing. This type of attraction might cause you to want to learn more about a person, get their opinions, or learn new things from them.
RecapAesthetic attraction is the objective appreciation of someone or something you find visually appealing. Intellectual attraction focuses on someone’s ideas and thoughts.
Aesthetic attraction is the objective appreciation of someone or something you find visually appealing. Intellectual attraction focuses on someone’s ideas and thoughts.
Different types of attraction can affect your behavior in a variety of ways. Research has found that perceiving someone as attractive creates positive expectations about their other characteristics including intelligence and personality.In other words, if you find someone physically attractive, you’re also more likely to think they’re attractive in other ways, too.
This phenomenon is an example of thehalo effect. This tendency can play a role in how you perceive people in a variety of contexts, whether you’re evaluating their suitability as a romantic prospect, a workout partner, an employee, or a friend.
In one study, people who were rated physically attractive were more likely to be seen as having positive personality characteristics such asagreeablenessandconscientiousness.
Attraction is not always easy to manage and can be confusing. You’ll probably experience several types of attraction throughout your lifetime. Being aware of the attraction you’re feeling can help you navigate relationships effectively.
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Here are a few ways to help you pin down the type of attraction you’re experiencing.
RecapBuilding self-awareness and boundaries can help you make sense of your attractions to others. Think about what you want out of your relationships and remember that these needs and feelings of attraction can change over time.
Building self-awareness and boundaries can help you make sense of your attractions to others. Think about what you want out of your relationships and remember that these needs and feelings of attraction can change over time.
If you’re having issues with understanding attraction or if you’re unhappy with your relationships orattachments, consider talking to a mental health professional. A therapist can help you put a name to your feelings and become more aware of how they influence your relationships with other people.
If you are experiencing problems in your current relationship, considercouples therapy. By working together in therapy, you can learn more about each other’s needs and desires. It can also be an effective way to work together towared a strong emotional, romantic, or sexual connection.
A Word From Verywell
Attraction is complex, and you’ll likely experience several types during your lifetime or even over the course of a relationship. Learning about your own experience of attraction can help you understand yourself, your needs, and your desires. This can help you form and maintain mutually beneficial relationships.
How to Show Affection in a Relationship
5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Campbell K, Nelson J, Parker ML, Johnston S.Interpersonal chemistry in friendships and romantic relationships.Interpersona. 2018;12(1):34-50. doi:10.5964/ijpr.v12i1.289Wade TJ, Mogilski J.Emotional accessibility is more important than sexual accessibility in evaluating romantic relationships - especially for women: A conjoint analysis.Front Psychol. 2018;9:632. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00632LGBT Center, UNC-Chapel Hill.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.Gabrieli G, Lee A, Setoh P, Esposito G.An analysis of the generalizability and stability of the halo effect during the COVID-19 pandemic outbreak.Front Psychol. 2021;12:631871. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.631871Tartaglia S, Rollero C.The effects of attractiveness and status on personality evaluation.Eur J Psychol. 2015;11(4):677-690. doi:10.5964/ejop.v11i4.896
5 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Campbell K, Nelson J, Parker ML, Johnston S.Interpersonal chemistry in friendships and romantic relationships.Interpersona. 2018;12(1):34-50. doi:10.5964/ijpr.v12i1.289Wade TJ, Mogilski J.Emotional accessibility is more important than sexual accessibility in evaluating romantic relationships - especially for women: A conjoint analysis.Front Psychol. 2018;9:632. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00632LGBT Center, UNC-Chapel Hill.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.Gabrieli G, Lee A, Setoh P, Esposito G.An analysis of the generalizability and stability of the halo effect during the COVID-19 pandemic outbreak.Front Psychol. 2021;12:631871. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.631871Tartaglia S, Rollero C.The effects of attractiveness and status on personality evaluation.Eur J Psychol. 2015;11(4):677-690. doi:10.5964/ejop.v11i4.896
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Campbell K, Nelson J, Parker ML, Johnston S.Interpersonal chemistry in friendships and romantic relationships.Interpersona. 2018;12(1):34-50. doi:10.5964/ijpr.v12i1.289Wade TJ, Mogilski J.Emotional accessibility is more important than sexual accessibility in evaluating romantic relationships - especially for women: A conjoint analysis.Front Psychol. 2018;9:632. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00632LGBT Center, UNC-Chapel Hill.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.Gabrieli G, Lee A, Setoh P, Esposito G.An analysis of the generalizability and stability of the halo effect during the COVID-19 pandemic outbreak.Front Psychol. 2021;12:631871. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.631871Tartaglia S, Rollero C.The effects of attractiveness and status on personality evaluation.Eur J Psychol. 2015;11(4):677-690. doi:10.5964/ejop.v11i4.896
Campbell K, Nelson J, Parker ML, Johnston S.Interpersonal chemistry in friendships and romantic relationships.Interpersona. 2018;12(1):34-50. doi:10.5964/ijpr.v12i1.289
Wade TJ, Mogilski J.Emotional accessibility is more important than sexual accessibility in evaluating romantic relationships - especially for women: A conjoint analysis.Front Psychol. 2018;9:632. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00632
LGBT Center, UNC-Chapel Hill.Asexuality, attraction, and romantic orientation.
Gabrieli G, Lee A, Setoh P, Esposito G.An analysis of the generalizability and stability of the halo effect during the COVID-19 pandemic outbreak.Front Psychol. 2021;12:631871. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.631871
Tartaglia S, Rollero C.The effects of attractiveness and status on personality evaluation.Eur J Psychol. 2015;11(4):677-690. doi:10.5964/ejop.v11i4.896
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