Weight Loss Isn't an Invitation to Comment on My Body

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhen Compliments BeganWeight Loss Comments Are Helpful, Right?The Pressure to Stay ThinThe Mental Impact of Commenting on People’s BodiesNext in GLP-1s and Mental Health GuideWhy I’m No Longer Ashamed to Admit I’m on a Weight Loss Medication

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

When Compliments Began

Weight Loss Comments Are Helpful, Right?

The Pressure to Stay Thin

The Mental Impact of Commenting on People’s Bodies

Next in GLP-1s and Mental Health Guide

I started my first diet when I was eight years old. It began with skipping breakfast, eliminating certain foods and, evolved to not eating for extended periods of the day. I believed that the less I ate, the more weight I could lose and the more valued I was.

By my teens,thoughts about foodand diets had infiltrated my mind, body, and spirit. There was never an hour in the day when I didn’t think about what I ate, what I was going to eat, what I looked like, and how I compared to others. From thigh gaps, hip dips, and arm jiggles to flat stomachs, each body part became my obsession.

I experienced this in the early 2000s but it is still very relevant. A 2023 systematic review showed that 22% of children and adolescents across the globe reporteddisordered eatingwith a significantly higher proportion (30%) among girls.

Then in ninth grade, I caught a nasty case of bronchitis during winter break which caused me to lose a significant amount of weight. At holiday dinners, praise unexpectedly started flooding in.

From thigh gaps, hip dips, and arm jiggles to flat stomachs, each body part became my obsession.

An auntie exclaimed to my mom, “Your daughter has lost a lot of weight. She looks so beautiful and skinny now. How did she do it? What’s her secret?”

An uncle nonchalantly compared, “She used to be the big one but now she is just as pretty as her other sisters.”

My mom encouraged me to keep going, offering to help monitor what I ate. My dad told me how glad he was to see me take care of my health.

The Impact of Body Shaming and How to Overcome It

Weight Loss Comments Are Helpful, Right?

I loved the attention and compliments. Their words made me feel beautiful. They had good intentions, motivating me to stay healthy. They were being helpful, right?

Kathleen Garcia-Benson, RDN, CSSD, LD, NASM-CPT, NBC-HWC, a registered dietitian specializing in PCOS, women’s health, sports nutrition, and digestive health explains that culturally, weight loss is frequently seen as inherently positive, so compliments often follow. This mindset is rooted in a societal norm that equates weight loss with improved health and success, often at any cost.

“Many people spend years cycling through diets, striving for weight loss that may not be sustainable. Unfortunately, this cycle can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food, where the constant focus on dieting fosters a harmful pattern of restriction and overeating, rather than a balanced and sustainable approach to nourishment,” explains Garcia-Benson.

Recognizing and Responding to a Backhanded Compliment

Eventually, I returned to my original weight. I couldn’t fit into my new jeans and the thigh gap disappeared. I was devastated. I felt like I had let down everyone who was rooting for me. So I started resorting to extreme measures, using laxatives and taking diet pills.

Many people spend years cycling through diets, striving for weight loss that may not be sustainable.—KATHLEEN GARCIA-BENSON, RDN, CSSD, LD, NASM-CPT, NBC-HWC

Many people spend years cycling through diets, striving for weight loss that may not be sustainable.

—KATHLEEN GARCIA-BENSON, RDN, CSSD, LD, NASM-CPT, NBC-HWC

Disordered eating behaviorssuch asbingeing, purging, fasting, dieting, and laxatives or diuretics abuse can have severe physiological and psychological consequences.These include osteopenia (bone loss), osteoporosis (bone weakness), absence of amenorrhea (absent periods), and lifelong implications for dysfunctional eating.

—LINDSEY COPE, LCSW

Garcia-Benson adds thatcompliments on weight losscan unintentionally pressure the individual to continue losing or maintaining that weight, even if doing so is unhealthy or unsustainable.

“[A] focus on weight can overshadow other important aspects of health, such asmental well-being, muscle strength, and overall life satisfaction, reinforcing a narrow view of what it means to be healthy,” said Garcia-Benson.

Thinspo: What It Is and How It Impacts Body Image

The Mental Impact of Commenting on People’s Bodies

It has taken decades with lots of support to heal my relationship with food and my body, and recovery is ongoing. Comments about people’s bodies still affect me even when they aren’t directed toward me. They remind me of the beliefs that used to hold their grip on me and bring me back to my vulnerable and troubled 14-year-old self.

“Shifting the focus to personal qualities, achievements, or efforts instead of appearance can help foster a healthier self-image and reduce the risk of negative mental health effects,” advised Thompson.

So instead of commenting on people’s bodies, let’s recognize their talent, compassion, listening skills, strength, humor, and energy. If you can’t find anything nice to say, just say nothing at all.

If you or a loved one are coping with an eating disorder, contact theNational Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Helplinefor support at1-800-931-2237.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are coping with an eating disorder, contact theNational Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Helplinefor support at1-800-931-2237.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.López-Gil JF, García-Hermoso A, Smith L, et al.Global Proportion of Disordered Eating in Children and Adolescents: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis.JAMA Pediatrics. 2023;177(4). doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2022.5848Ortega-Luyando M, Alvarez-Rayón G, Garner DM, Amaya-Hernández A, Bautista-Díaz ML, Mancilla-Díaz JM.Systematic review of disordered eating behaviors: Methodological considerations for epidemiological research.Revista Mexicana de Trastornos Alimentarios. 2015;6(1):51–63. doi:10.1016/j.rmta.2015.06.001Canadian Paediatric Society.Dieting in adolescence.Paediatrics & child health. 2004;9(7):487–503.

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.López-Gil JF, García-Hermoso A, Smith L, et al.Global Proportion of Disordered Eating in Children and Adolescents: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis.JAMA Pediatrics. 2023;177(4). doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2022.5848Ortega-Luyando M, Alvarez-Rayón G, Garner DM, Amaya-Hernández A, Bautista-Díaz ML, Mancilla-Díaz JM.Systematic review of disordered eating behaviors: Methodological considerations for epidemiological research.Revista Mexicana de Trastornos Alimentarios. 2015;6(1):51–63. doi:10.1016/j.rmta.2015.06.001Canadian Paediatric Society.Dieting in adolescence.Paediatrics & child health. 2004;9(7):487–503.

López-Gil JF, García-Hermoso A, Smith L, et al.Global Proportion of Disordered Eating in Children and Adolescents: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis.JAMA Pediatrics. 2023;177(4). doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2022.5848Ortega-Luyando M, Alvarez-Rayón G, Garner DM, Amaya-Hernández A, Bautista-Díaz ML, Mancilla-Díaz JM.Systematic review of disordered eating behaviors: Methodological considerations for epidemiological research.Revista Mexicana de Trastornos Alimentarios. 2015;6(1):51–63. doi:10.1016/j.rmta.2015.06.001Canadian Paediatric Society.Dieting in adolescence.Paediatrics & child health. 2004;9(7):487–503.

Ortega-Luyando M, Alvarez-Rayón G, Garner DM, Amaya-Hernández A, Bautista-Díaz ML, Mancilla-Díaz JM.Systematic review of disordered eating behaviors: Methodological considerations for epidemiological research.Revista Mexicana de Trastornos Alimentarios. 2015;6(1):51–63. doi:10.1016/j.rmta.2015.06.001

Canadian Paediatric Society.Dieting in adolescence.Paediatrics & child health. 2004;9(7):487–503.

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Weight Loss Comments Are Helpful, Right?#

The Mental Impact of Commenting on People’s Bodies#

Weight Loss Comments Are Helpful, Right?

The Mental Impact of Commenting on People’s Bodies