Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsDefinitionDurationSignsCausesEffectsTreatmentHow to HelpHow to RespondWhy It Persists

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Definition

Duration

Signs

Causes

Effects

Treatment

How to Help

How to Respond

Why It Persists

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Do you constantly feel as though you have no control over situations or that other people are out to get you? Or do you feel as though bad things keep happening to you no matter what you do? If you find yourself blaming other people for events or situations in your life, you may be struggling with what is known as a victim mentality.

People with a victim mentality feel as though bad things keep happening and the world is against them. You may feel as though everyone else is against you, be that your partner, your coworkers, or even your family or friends. Even though there might be things that you can do to help fix the situation, you don’t take responsibility for anything and feel as though everything is out of your control.

In addition, you might take thingspersonallyeven when they are not directed at you. You might think thoughts like, “What did I do to deserve this?” You might also feelresentfula lot of the time.

Most likely you went through a bad time in your life or experiencedtrauma, but you had no coping strategies at the time and developed this negative viewpoint or victim mindset. This led you to believe that life just happens to you and that you have no responsibility for what happens in your life.

Even when people come along and try to offer you solutions, you probably come up with a list of reasons why those solutions won’t work and leave those who offer help frustrated or not understanding what went wrong.

You might even question why you continue to behave in this way. The truth is that there are probably some secondary benefits of refusing to change your victim mindset. You might be gaining sympathy or attention for your distress from what happened to you. You might feel relieved that others are offering you help orvalidation. You also probably don’t ever want to feel vulnerable again, and so it’s easier not to take risks.

This articles discusses what a victim mentality is, signs and symptoms of this mindset, and how you can learn to eliminate some negative thought patterns.

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Understanding the Victim Mentality

Taking a step back, what exactly is a victim mentality? While a victim mentality is not a recognized diagnosable condition, it is a commonly accepted term and has some other alternate names such as victim syndrome and victim complex.

Those with a victim mentality hold three beliefs:Bad things have happened in the past and will continue to happen to you.Others are to blame for your misfortune.There is no point in trying to make a change because it will not work.

Those with a victim mentality hold three beliefs:

For people who hold a victim mentality, it seems like sinking into negativity is easier than trying to save yourself, and you may even force this mindset onto other people.

At its core, a victim mindset is rooted in trauma, distress, and pain most of the time. When you experience a traumatic situation, typically at the hands of other people, you may learn that you are helpless and that nothing you do in the future is going to make any difference.

This leads you to feel vulnerable and afraid, and in turn, you choose not to take responsibility or place blame on other people and make excuses even when there are actions you could take.

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Is a Victim Mindset Permanent?

While it’s understandable that you might feel this way after a traumatic series of events, the truth is that there are always multiple factors involved in any bad situation. While you may not have been able to control what happened to you in the past, it’s likely that you do have some degree of control over what happens to you going forward.

For example, if you’ve been trying to find a job without any success, there is the opportunity to learn from what hasn’t worked so that you can try and make some changes for the future. In contrast, someone with a victim mindset will have little interest in taking actions that could lead to improvement.

In addition, when other people try to help you, you might retreat into self-pity and argue that nothing will work. In other words, you really just want to feel sorry for yourself rather than work toward any meaningful change.

While it’s okay to feel bad about what has happened to you and make sure to work through difficult emotions, everyone with a victim mindset needs to find an end to self-pity and work toward change and healing. Otherwise, your feelings of being a victim and being powerless will follow you for the rest of your life.

The truth is that life will never stop giving you challenges, and if you feel as though nothing you do makes any differences, then you’ll be climbing an uphill battle the rest of your life.

One of the most common signs of a victim mentality is continuedself sabotageand negative thinking. The good news is that this is not an inherited trait; rather, you’ve learned to behave in this way. At one time you were likely a victim, but you don’t have to continue on being a victim.

A victim blames others for their current situation, even when others have nothing to do with it and they themselves are to blame (or at least partly to blame).

Yes, your rights were violated and you didn’t deserve what happened to you. You deserve empathy and compassion—and understanding. And you can give these things to yourself without waiting for anyone else to give them to you.

Signs of a Victim Mentality

What are some signs of a victim mentality? If you aren’t sure whether you are struggling with a victim mentality, here are some potential signs to watch for:

Victim Mentality Behaviors

What is victim mentality behavior? It refers to the types of actions that people with a victim mentality tend to engage in. What are the behaviors that people with a victim mentality tend to engage in? Below are some of the common ones that you might observe:

Victim Mentality Attitudes

Additionally, what are the attitudes that go along with a victim mentality? Here are some of the attitudes to watch out for.

Victim Mindset Beliefs

Causes of a Victim Mentality

What causes someone to have a victim mentality? Common causes can include:

What personality disorder plays the victim?Narcissistic personality disorder(NPD) is a type of personality disorder that is often associated with a victim mentality. People with this condition sometimes engage in victim behavior to manipulate others, but they often possess an excessive sense of victimhood and entitlement.By shifting the blame onto others, they are able to protect their own exaggerated sense of self.

What personality disorder plays the victim?

Narcissistic personality disorder(NPD) is a type of personality disorder that is often associated with a victim mentality. People with this condition sometimes engage in victim behavior to manipulate others, but they often possess an excessive sense of victimhood and entitlement.By shifting the blame onto others, they are able to protect their own exaggerated sense of self.

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Outcomes of a Victim Mentality

What are some of the outcomes of having a victim mentality? Below are some of the most common outcomes that may result if you persist in having this mentality:

How to Stop a Victim Mentality

If you identify with all the signs and symptoms of having a victim mindset, you might be wondering how to get yourself into a better frame of mind.

If so, below are some tips to help you to cope better and move to a better mindset:

How to Help Someone With a Victim Mentality

Are you wondering how to help someone with a victim mentality? It can be frustrating to try and help someone who has a victim mentality because they don’t take responsibility for their life and seem to blame everyone else. However, this is only because there is a lot going on beneath the surface. Below are some ways that you can help:

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Things to Say to Someone With a Victim Mentality

Are you wondering what specifically you can say to someone with a victim mindset? Below are some phrases that you can use:

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Reasons a Victim Mindset Continues

Why would a victim mindset continue if it is making you feel bad? The truth is that there can be a lot of secondary benefits that can result from a victim mindset. Below are some of the reasons why deep down you don’t want to change.

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A Word From Verywell

If you are struggling with a victim mentality, it’s important to know that it’s not your fault even though you may be in the habit of responding this way. If you struggled with trauma, then you have a genuine reason to feel like a victim. Nothing can take that away from you.

At the same time, you need to show yourselfself-compassionso that you can move past this situation and seek help if needed. Continuing to dwell in a victim mindset leaves you feeling powerless and helpless and unable to initiate change in your life.

Whatever you can do to shift yourself out of a victim mentality will be the first step toward becoming the person that you want to be.

While it may be hard for you to remember what it was like before you started thinking this way, if you take small consistent steps, you’ll eventually get to where you are trying to go. And, it will be easier for others to support you along the way when you are open to help and offers of suggestions from other people. You don’t have to accept what happened to cause this mentality, but being able to move on from it will help you a great deal.

5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Orloff J.Strategies to Deal with a Victim Mentality.Gollwitzer M, Süssenbach P, Hannuschke M.Victimization experiences and the stabilization of victim sensitivity.Front Psychol. 2015;6:439. Published 2015 Apr 14. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00439McCullough ME, Emmons RA, Kilpatrick SD, Mooney CN.Narcissists as “victims”: the role of narcissism in the perception of transgressions.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2003;29(7):885-893. doi:10.1177/0146167203029007007Kaufman SB.Unraveling the Mindset of Victimhood.Harley Therapy Counselling Blog.The Victim Mentality - What it Is and Why You Use It.

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Orloff J.Strategies to Deal with a Victim Mentality.Gollwitzer M, Süssenbach P, Hannuschke M.Victimization experiences and the stabilization of victim sensitivity.Front Psychol. 2015;6:439. Published 2015 Apr 14. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00439McCullough ME, Emmons RA, Kilpatrick SD, Mooney CN.Narcissists as “victims”: the role of narcissism in the perception of transgressions.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2003;29(7):885-893. doi:10.1177/0146167203029007007Kaufman SB.Unraveling the Mindset of Victimhood.Harley Therapy Counselling Blog.The Victim Mentality - What it Is and Why You Use It.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Orloff J.Strategies to Deal with a Victim Mentality.Gollwitzer M, Süssenbach P, Hannuschke M.Victimization experiences and the stabilization of victim sensitivity.Front Psychol. 2015;6:439. Published 2015 Apr 14. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00439McCullough ME, Emmons RA, Kilpatrick SD, Mooney CN.Narcissists as “victims”: the role of narcissism in the perception of transgressions.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2003;29(7):885-893. doi:10.1177/0146167203029007007Kaufman SB.Unraveling the Mindset of Victimhood.Harley Therapy Counselling Blog.The Victim Mentality - What it Is and Why You Use It.

Orloff J.Strategies to Deal with a Victim Mentality.

Gollwitzer M, Süssenbach P, Hannuschke M.Victimization experiences and the stabilization of victim sensitivity.Front Psychol. 2015;6:439. Published 2015 Apr 14. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00439

McCullough ME, Emmons RA, Kilpatrick SD, Mooney CN.Narcissists as “victims”: the role of narcissism in the perception of transgressions.Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2003;29(7):885-893. doi:10.1177/0146167203029007007

Kaufman SB.Unraveling the Mindset of Victimhood.

Harley Therapy Counselling Blog.The Victim Mentality - What it Is and Why You Use It.

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