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Psychology

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How to Deal

Frequently Asked Questions

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Constant interruptions can be difficult to deal with, but understanding a bit more about the psychology of interrupting can help you cope. Recognizing why interrupting happens is a great place to start. It’s also an excellent idea to have a number of strategies prepared to help deal with a chronic interrupter in your life.

A discussion can take only so many interruptions before it ceases to be a discussion. For this reason, chronic interruptions are conversation-killers that disrupt ahealthy exchange of information. Here’s what to know and do when interacting with someone who seems to always be interrupting you before you’re done speaking.

The Psychology of Interrupting

Interruptions also can make you feel insignificant and unimportant—that what you are trying to say isn’t worthy of being listened to. Knowing some of the reasons why people engage in this type of behavior can help you better recognize the psychology of interrupting and strategize ways to manage it.

Culture and Family Background

Some tendencies to interrupt can stem from cultural differencesor the person’s family background. This can make interrupting seem like a natural behavior to them or something they do almost automatically.

A Need for Control

Other interrupters are goal-driven,impatient peoplewho like to get straight to the point. Their way of making this happen is to interrupt and usurp control of the conversation.

Why Letting Go of Control Can Help You Enjoy Life

Excessive Excitement

Some people interrupt because they are so excited about what you are saying that they cannot wait until the end of your statement to contribute their own thoughts and feelings. Their excitement leads to interrupting you, the speaker, mid-sentence.

Lack of Awareness

Chronic interrupters sometimes have no idea they are even doing it. To them, interrupting others is simply what makes a conversation interesting and dynamic.

Gender Differences

Interestingly,a person’s gendermay impact their interrupting behaviors. For instance, a study from George Washington University found that men interrupted women 33% more often than they did other men.

According to the researchers, during a three-minute conversation, men interrupted women 2.1 times. By contrast, when speaking with men for the same length of time, they only interrupted 1.8 times. Meanwhile, women in the study, on average, only interrupted men once.

Effects of Interrupting

While understanding the psychology of interrupting can help you make sense of it, it is also important to consider the effects that this can have on conversations and relationships.

Undermines Respect

Regardless of who is doing the interrupting or why they are doing it, the reality is that at the moment when an interruption occurs, the interrupter is communicating that what they have to say takes precedence over your thoughts and opinions. This can make you feel likethey are dismissing youor don’t respect what you have to say.

Asserts Power

Whether they are aware of it or not, chronic interrupters are asserting their power, knowledge, and ideas at your expense. And in extreme situations, interrupting can be anything but analtruistic behavior.

Potential for Abuse

How to Deal With Interrupting

It can be helpful to have a few different strategies in place to help deal with constant interrupting in different situations.

Address Interrupting Before You Start Talking

Discuss the Interruptions During a Neutral Time

Whether your chronic interrupter is someone on your staff or your partner at home, it is a good idea to discuss the interruptions at a time when you both are calm and objective. Talk to the person about what you’ve experienced and explain how it affects youusing “I” statementsinstead of pointing the finger or making accusations.

It’s also important to give the interrupter the benefit of the doubt. Some people simply do not realize that they interrupt as much as they do. And, if you frame your thoughts objectively, it’s more likely toproducebehavioral change.

Decide How to Handle Future Interruptions

Once you have had a discussion or two about the chronic interruptions, think about how you will respond when it happens again—because it will. No one can change a pattern of behavior instantaneously.

When you are interrupted in the future, you have several options:

The key is that you are prepared ahead of time on how you will handle interruptions,maintain focus, and not let them derail you. If you allow interrupters to hijack the conversation, there is no motivation for them to stop what they are doing. They are still getting what they want when they interrupt.

Helpful Tip

60 Ways to End a Conversation Gracefully

Consider Your Own Communication Style

Take a good, hard look at how you communicate. Do you share long, drawn-out stories? Could you be more succinct and to the point? Perhapsyour communication stylecould be changed or improved to deter interruptions in some way, especially if you tend to monopolize the conversation.

How to Use Assertive Communication

Be Patient With Yourself and Others

Be patient as you work through interruption issues.Changing behaviorand communication styles takes time. But with persistence and patience, you might be able to have more balanced and effective conversations. After all, everyone in the conversation benefits when people feel heard.

Learn More:ADHD and Interrupting

This behavior is often referred to as chronic interrupting. In cases where that person constantly changes the subject to talk about themselves, they might be referred to as a conversational narcissist.Learn More:5 Types of Narcissism

This behavior is often referred to as chronic interrupting. In cases where that person constantly changes the subject to talk about themselves, they might be referred to as a conversational narcissist.

Learn More:5 Types of Narcissism

There are a number of reasons why you might interrupt others without meaning to. Some possible explanations include a fear of forgetting your comment before you have a chance to say it, a lack of awareness, being so excited about what you want to share that you can’t hold back, a need to be included in the conversation so you interject your statement, or you’re being talked over so you interrupt to get your statement in.

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5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Gordon AM, Chen S.Do you get where I’m coming from?: Perceived understanding buffers against the negative impact of conflict on relationship satisfaction.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2016;110(2):239-260. doi:10.1037/pspi0000039Ruvalcaba O, Rogoff B, López A, Correa-Chávez M, Gutiérrez K.Chapter eight - Children’s avoidance of interrupting others' activities in requesting help: Cultural aspects of considerateness.Adv Child Develop Behav. 2015;49:185-2015. doi:10.1016/bs.acdb.2015.10.005Hancock A, Rubin B.Influence of communication partner’s gender on language.J Lang Soc Psychol.2014;34:46-64. doi:10.1177/0261927X14533197Duckworth AL, Gross JJ.Behavior change.Organ Behav Hum Decis Process. 2020;161(Suppl):39-49. doi:10.1016/j.obhdp.2020.09.002Nielsen M.ADHD and temporality: A desynchronized way of being in the world.Med Anthropol. 2017;36(3):260-272. doi:10.1080/01459740.2016.1274750

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Gordon AM, Chen S.Do you get where I’m coming from?: Perceived understanding buffers against the negative impact of conflict on relationship satisfaction.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2016;110(2):239-260. doi:10.1037/pspi0000039Ruvalcaba O, Rogoff B, López A, Correa-Chávez M, Gutiérrez K.Chapter eight - Children’s avoidance of interrupting others' activities in requesting help: Cultural aspects of considerateness.Adv Child Develop Behav. 2015;49:185-2015. doi:10.1016/bs.acdb.2015.10.005Hancock A, Rubin B.Influence of communication partner’s gender on language.J Lang Soc Psychol.2014;34:46-64. doi:10.1177/0261927X14533197Duckworth AL, Gross JJ.Behavior change.Organ Behav Hum Decis Process. 2020;161(Suppl):39-49. doi:10.1016/j.obhdp.2020.09.002Nielsen M.ADHD and temporality: A desynchronized way of being in the world.Med Anthropol. 2017;36(3):260-272. doi:10.1080/01459740.2016.1274750

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Gordon AM, Chen S.Do you get where I’m coming from?: Perceived understanding buffers against the negative impact of conflict on relationship satisfaction.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2016;110(2):239-260. doi:10.1037/pspi0000039Ruvalcaba O, Rogoff B, López A, Correa-Chávez M, Gutiérrez K.Chapter eight - Children’s avoidance of interrupting others' activities in requesting help: Cultural aspects of considerateness.Adv Child Develop Behav. 2015;49:185-2015. doi:10.1016/bs.acdb.2015.10.005Hancock A, Rubin B.Influence of communication partner’s gender on language.J Lang Soc Psychol.2014;34:46-64. doi:10.1177/0261927X14533197Duckworth AL, Gross JJ.Behavior change.Organ Behav Hum Decis Process. 2020;161(Suppl):39-49. doi:10.1016/j.obhdp.2020.09.002Nielsen M.ADHD and temporality: A desynchronized way of being in the world.Med Anthropol. 2017;36(3):260-272. doi:10.1080/01459740.2016.1274750

Gordon AM, Chen S.Do you get where I’m coming from?: Perceived understanding buffers against the negative impact of conflict on relationship satisfaction.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2016;110(2):239-260. doi:10.1037/pspi0000039

Ruvalcaba O, Rogoff B, López A, Correa-Chávez M, Gutiérrez K.Chapter eight - Children’s avoidance of interrupting others' activities in requesting help: Cultural aspects of considerateness.Adv Child Develop Behav. 2015;49:185-2015. doi:10.1016/bs.acdb.2015.10.005

Hancock A, Rubin B.Influence of communication partner’s gender on language.J Lang Soc Psychol.2014;34:46-64. doi:10.1177/0261927X14533197

Duckworth AL, Gross JJ.Behavior change.Organ Behav Hum Decis Process. 2020;161(Suppl):39-49. doi:10.1016/j.obhdp.2020.09.002

Nielsen M.ADHD and temporality: A desynchronized way of being in the world.Med Anthropol. 2017;36(3):260-272. doi:10.1080/01459740.2016.1274750

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