Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsPhysicalEmotionalBehavior ChangesControlling BehaviorHow to Help a Loved One

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Physical

Emotional

Behavior Changes

Controlling Behavior

How to Help a Loved One

Some of the signs of domestic abuse, such as physical marks, may be easy to identify. Others may be things you can easily explain away or overlook—say, chalking up a friend’s skipping out on an activity you once enjoyed together as being due to a simple loss of interest.

Domestic abuse affects each person differently, but it impacts everyone both physically and psychologically. It’s often an aggregate of related signs of domestic abuse that tip someone off that a person is at risk.

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone regardless of their social, educational, orfinancial status. While red flags aren’t always proof that someone is being mistreated in this way, they are worth knowing. Many who are abused may try to cover up what is happening to them for a variety of reasons, and it goes without saying that these individuals could benefit from help.

Physical Signs of Domestic Abuse

If someone is being physically abused, they will likely have frequent bruises or physical injuries consistent with being punched, choked, or knocked down—and they’ll likely have a weak or inconsistent explanation for these injuries.

Some signs of physical abuse include:

It’s also common for someone to try to cover up the physical signs with clothing. For example, you may notice someone you care about wearing long sleeves or scarves in the hot summer. Wearing heavier than normal makeup or donning sunglasses inside are also common signs of domestic abuse.

Abuse occurs when one person in a relationship attempts to dominate and control the other person. Usually, the control begins with psychological oremotional abuse, then escalates to physical abuse. When domestic abuse includes physical violence, it’s termeddomestic violence.

An Inside Look at Domestic Discipline

Emotional Signs of Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse, of course, can take a serious emotional toll, creating a sense of helplessness, hopelessness, or despair. Domestic abuse can cause people to believe that they will never escape the control of the abuser. They may also exhibit a constant state of alertness to the point they never can completely relax.

Other emotional signs of abuse include:

These symptoms, of course, could be due to many other conditions or factors, but they are typical of domestic abuse victims who feel they are trapped in an abusive relationship.

How Abuse Causes Behavior Changes

If you notice that someone who was once outgoing and cheerful has gradually become quiet and withdrawn, it could be a sign of domestic abuse.

You may notice that the person:

Showing Signs of Fear

People who are being abused may seem anxious or nervous when they are away from the abuser, or they may seem overly anxious to please their partner. If they have children, the children may seem timid, frightened, or extremely well-behaved when the partner is around.

Although victims may not talk about the actual abuse, they might refer to the abuser as “moody” or having a bad temper. They may reveal that the partner is particularlybad-tempered when drinking alcohol.

What Controlling Behavior Looks Like

Domestic abuseis not about violence,it’s all about control.If you notice that someone seems to be controlled or extremely manipulated in all areas of their life, it could be a sign they are being abused at some level.

Here are some examples of control:

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you suspect a loved one is experiencing domestic abuse, there are steps you can take to support them and encourage them to get help. Listening to your loved one, watching for warning signs, and offering support are essential.

If your loved one confides in you, help them make a safety plan. This plan should include excuses they can use if they need to leave the situation, where they can go if they decide to leave, and an escape bag filled with essentials they will need if they need to leave quickly.

Also, put your loved one in touch with resources to help them stay safe and get the help they need. This can include domestic violence shelters and helplines offering information and direct assistance. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is a resource that offers assistance via phone, chat, or text. You can text “START” to 88788 or call 1-800-799-7233 to speak to an advocate. You can also find more tips forcreating a safety planon their website.

You can also encourage your loved one to join adomestic violence support groupto help them heal from their experiences.

If you witness or know that abuse is happening, contact 911 immediately.

9 Ways to Help a Victim of Domestic Violence

Takeaways

Helping someone who is the victim of domestic abuse is a delicate matter. By learning some of the warning signs, you can feel more comfortable offering a sympathetic ear and seizing the opportunity tohelp a victim of domestic abuse or violence.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse and these signs are all too familiar, know that what’s happening to you is not your fault. You are not alone and help is available.

Abuse By Proxy

9 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Nemours Foundation.Abuse.Rakovec-Felser Z.Domestic violence and abuse in intimate relationship from public health perspective.Health Psychol Res. 2014;2(3):1821. doi:10.4081/hpr.2014.1821Washington State Department of Social and Health Services.Types and signs of abuse.State of Florida.Common signs and symptoms of abuse, neglect, and exploitation.Malik M, Munir N, Ghani MU, Ahmad N.Domestic violence and its relationship with depression, anxiety, and quality of life.Pak J Med Sci. 2021;37(1):191-194. doi:10.12669/pjms.37.1.2893Eckstein JJ.Reasons for staying in intimately violent relationships: comparisons of men and women and messages communicated to self and others.J Fam Viol.2011;26:21-30. doi:10.1007/s10896-010-9338-0National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).Signs of abuse.Queensland Department of Communities, Child Safety and Disability Services.Support someone experiencing domestic and family violence.United Nations.What is domestic abuse?

9 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Nemours Foundation.Abuse.Rakovec-Felser Z.Domestic violence and abuse in intimate relationship from public health perspective.Health Psychol Res. 2014;2(3):1821. doi:10.4081/hpr.2014.1821Washington State Department of Social and Health Services.Types and signs of abuse.State of Florida.Common signs and symptoms of abuse, neglect, and exploitation.Malik M, Munir N, Ghani MU, Ahmad N.Domestic violence and its relationship with depression, anxiety, and quality of life.Pak J Med Sci. 2021;37(1):191-194. doi:10.12669/pjms.37.1.2893Eckstein JJ.Reasons for staying in intimately violent relationships: comparisons of men and women and messages communicated to self and others.J Fam Viol.2011;26:21-30. doi:10.1007/s10896-010-9338-0National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).Signs of abuse.Queensland Department of Communities, Child Safety and Disability Services.Support someone experiencing domestic and family violence.United Nations.What is domestic abuse?

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Nemours Foundation.Abuse.Rakovec-Felser Z.Domestic violence and abuse in intimate relationship from public health perspective.Health Psychol Res. 2014;2(3):1821. doi:10.4081/hpr.2014.1821Washington State Department of Social and Health Services.Types and signs of abuse.State of Florida.Common signs and symptoms of abuse, neglect, and exploitation.Malik M, Munir N, Ghani MU, Ahmad N.Domestic violence and its relationship with depression, anxiety, and quality of life.Pak J Med Sci. 2021;37(1):191-194. doi:10.12669/pjms.37.1.2893Eckstein JJ.Reasons for staying in intimately violent relationships: comparisons of men and women and messages communicated to self and others.J Fam Viol.2011;26:21-30. doi:10.1007/s10896-010-9338-0National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).Signs of abuse.Queensland Department of Communities, Child Safety and Disability Services.Support someone experiencing domestic and family violence.United Nations.What is domestic abuse?

Nemours Foundation.Abuse.

Rakovec-Felser Z.Domestic violence and abuse in intimate relationship from public health perspective.Health Psychol Res. 2014;2(3):1821. doi:10.4081/hpr.2014.1821

Washington State Department of Social and Health Services.Types and signs of abuse.

State of Florida.Common signs and symptoms of abuse, neglect, and exploitation.

Malik M, Munir N, Ghani MU, Ahmad N.Domestic violence and its relationship with depression, anxiety, and quality of life.Pak J Med Sci. 2021;37(1):191-194. doi:10.12669/pjms.37.1.2893

Eckstein JJ.Reasons for staying in intimately violent relationships: comparisons of men and women and messages communicated to self and others.J Fam Viol.2011;26:21-30. doi:10.1007/s10896-010-9338-0

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).Signs of abuse.

Queensland Department of Communities, Child Safety and Disability Services.Support someone experiencing domestic and family violence.

United Nations.What is domestic abuse?

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?