While ADHD does not only affect a specific gender, societal expectations and traditional diagnostic criteria have historically skewed towards recognizing symptoms more prevalent in boys. Consequently, many girls with ADHD find themselves overlooked or diagnosed later in life.
ADHD manifests differently in women, with symptoms often centered aroundinattentivenessrather than hyperactivity (Quinn & Madhoo, 2014).
With the right management strategies, women with ADHD can learn how to cope with their symptoms and thrive in all areas of life.
Because of this, women’s presentation of ADHD canoften be missedas they are considered “sub-threshold” with inattentiveness overshadowing typical displays of ADHD, such as being unable to sit still and being verbally impulsive.
This can lead to developing compensating strategies, which can further mask symptoms over time.
Consequently, adverse outcomes in academic, work, and personal life can begin to arise just as they would with men.
Therefore, ADHD does not confine itself to specific settings; it permeates all aspects of a woman’s life, with the challenges posed being far-reaching and pervasive. It is, therefore, important to have management strategies to live a fulfilling life with ADHD.
Below we discuss some tips for managing ADHD as a woman:
1. Understand ADHD and how it uniquely affects you
Understanding the nuances of ADHD is essential to recognizing your unique presentations and recognizing how ADHD manifests in your life.
For example, realizing how your forgetfulness,emotional dysregulation,anddisorganizationmanifest and shape your experiences can help you gain a clearer picture of ways to manage yourADHD symptoms.
There are unique presentations associated with being a woman with ADHD in comparison to both neurotypical women and men with ADHD.
For instance, you may notice that you need to take extra steps to make sure you do not forget deadlines or that you tend to get emotionally triggered a lot easier than your friends.
Becoming aware of your ADHD signs and figuring out which ones are impacting you can be the first step in managing your ADHD better as a woman.
2. Identify your strengths
Identifying and leveraging your strengths is pivotal for building self-confidence and navigating challenges associated with ADHD.
Dedicated research has also been conducted on ADHD’s strengths, with several uncovered, such as divergent thinking and adventurousness (Sedgwick, Merwood, Asherson, 2019).
For example, a woman with ADHD might identify her strengths in multitasking and creative thinking, which contribute positively to her role as a team memberin the workplace.
Dr Michele Novotni encourages people to lean into their strengths and work on them daily. Specifically, she suggests:
“Each day, intentionally set out to build or improve a relationship at work through an area of your strength. If you are kind, find a situation to demonstrate your kindness. If you are funny, brighten someone’s day. Look for an opportunity to shine each day.”
Write down specific instances where you demonstrated your strengths. This can serve as a helpful reference for acknowledging your capabilities and start building a list.
You can also discuss strengths with trusted loved ones, e.g., friends, spouse, or family members. Sometimes, it can be hard to identify our own strengths, so asking someone for their perspective on this may then lead to further insights.
Try asking them questions such as “What do you think I excel at?” or “What qualities do you most appreciate about me?”
Dr. Tony Lloyd, C.E.O. for theADHD Foundation Neurodiversity Charity, states that:
“ADHD can present challenges in our daily lives, but many individuals testify to strengths and positives associated with this condition once we understand it and learn how to manage it. ADHD does not define you, it is a lens through which you experience the world we live in.”
3. Experiment to find what works well for you
Women with ADHD often benefit from a personalized approach to managing symptoms.
For example, consider a woman with ADHD who struggles to maintain focus during group conversations. In her experimentation phase, she discovers effective strategies likeactive listening techniques, using a fidget tool, and using open-ended questions to get back into conversation.
By incorporating these methods, she enhances her ability to stay engaged and follow discussions more effectively in social settings.
Using focus difficulties as the main challenge, here are some steps you can take to find what works for you:
One woman with ADHD explains a method that works for her to get things done around the home:
“I put on shoes when I need to do things or keep them on if I have to do things when I get home. For some reason, my brain is like shoes off = time to check out.”
Another woman explains how she makes sure she doesn’t miss appointments:
“I set alarms for appointments, so I don’t sit and spend the whole day waiting for the appointment for fear of losing track of time. I set alarms for so many things, but that particular type of alarm has been a game-changer for me. And when I put an appointment in my phone’s calendar that’s more than a week out, I set a reminder for a day or two before the appointment to make sure I don’t forget it exists.”
Learn from mistakes
Try to avoid ruminating on self-criticism, and remember that everyone has such moments, and it is all part of being human.
Reflect on your experience, adjust your strategies, and move forward with greater wisdom. By approaching life’s hurdles with this mindset, you can reinforce a constructive self-image based on resilience and continuous improvement.
4. Create an ADHD-friendly environment
Adapting your surroundings to accommodate ADHD challenges can significantly improve daily functioning and productivity.
Here are a few suggestions to get started:
“Design your home to fit your brain, not just your design aesthetic. I took the doors off most of my closets because the act of opening them was enough to make me not put stuff away, and having them closed meant I forgot where my stuff was. I put shoe racks right at the door I enter through, not some distant closet which would be tidier because I’m never gonna use it.”
5. Let go of perfection
Perfectionism can be an issue for women because they may be expected to be good at many things at once, e.g., at work, home life, and motherhood.
These are a lot of responsibilities to handle, so maintaining the pressure to perform perfectly can have a negative impact onself-esteem.
Practice Acceptance
Acceptance that there is no such thing as absolute perfection and that mistakes are a natural occurrence in life is an important first step.
If tendencies to compare begin to flare, which is highly probable that they might, remember that there are 2 sides to everything, and just as someone may be more skilled at something than you, you are also more skilled at certain things than others. Begin to be kinder and learn to forgive yourself.
‘Lena’ who has ADHD shares her advice:
“Don’t compare yourself to others or try to compete with your peers. You are on your own path. Celebrate the success of others, but remember thattheirgoals are notyourgoals – only you know what those are.”
Reframe Thinking
Once negative thought patterns have been recognized and acknowledged, the next step is challenging and reframing them.
For example, consider a woman with ADHD who struggles with time management and often arrives late to social events.
Thenegative thought patternmight be, “I’m always letting people down; I can not even be on time like everyone else.”
This thought can be reframed more positively: “While punctuality is a challenge for me, I am working on improving my time management, and I appreciate the understanding and support of those around me. I bring enthusiasm to my interactions with people and offer unique perspectives”.
This will take time, and it may not happen right away, but consistency and slowly building up a more positive mindframe will get someone a long way.
For example, if you have the belief that you are not good enough but your close friends and colleagues always compliment your abilities, this is all evidence that perhaps you are doing better than you thought!
6. Consider dropping the mask
Masking in ADHDrefers to the conscious or subconscious efforts of individuals to hide or suppress their symptoms in order to conform to social expectations or avoid negative judgments and stigmatization.
Masking is usually done in an attempt to overcompensate or camouflage one’s ADHD traits (Barkley, 2020).
For example, take a woman with ADHD who, when out with friends, has a tendency to remain silent or withdrawn out of worry or judgment over her ADHD symptoms, such asimpulsivenessand cutting people mid-conversation.
Women with ADHD are far more likely to mask and for a variety of reasons, such as:
Common masking behaviors and how to drop the mask:
7. Schedule regular time-outs
Women with ADHD often benefit from scheduled breaks to recharge and manage sensory overload. For example, going out in heavily crowded places, such as a bar, can be overwhelming.
Heading outside occasionally or in the restroom can provide a necessary buffer and recharge.
Dr. Ari Tuckman, an expert in ADHD management, suggests using coping strategies like deep breathing and self-reflection to reduce impulsive reactions. You can read more of Dr. Tuckman’s work in his book “More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD” (Tuckman, 2009).
Here are a few suggestions on what to do:
Grounding
Include periodic “cool-down” or rest intervals in your day to allow yourself to unwind and prevent shutdowns. For example, you can step away from potentially stressful circumstances during these periods to regroup.
If you are in a situation where you can not remove yourself, you can switch to grounding exercises instead to try and keep yourself present in the moment. These can include things such as counting and visualization.
grounding techniques
Self-soothing
Creating self-soothing techniques can also help youdeal with overstimulationwhen it arises. These methods couldinvolve mindfulnessand deep breathing exercises (Bueno et al., 2015).
Such brief rest periods can act as a protective mechanism and keep sensory overload from both developing and escalating.
Finding a go-to technique for soothing yourself can then make it easier to restore control in stressful situations if you have a mechanism in place you know you can resort to when needed.
Each person is different in what works best for them, so try out various methods to see which one aligns with you the best.
Relaxation
Utilize relaxation techniques in your regular activities to control stress and avoid overstimulation. Some popular methods are yoga (Lange, 2014), meditation, andprogressive muscle relaxation, which can help your sensory processing and aid in emotional response regulation.
You can begin on a weekly basis and increase the frequency to even daily if needed or desired. By employing such strategies, you will encourage serenity and possibly raise your general resistance to sensory overload.
“Making time to pursue your passions in self-care is restorative and affirming and will give you more time. It’s not that it’s going to take more time, which is often the myth. Even superwomen need recharging to own their true power. You owe it to yourself and to the world to put yourself first.”
8. Identify any coexisting conditions
Coexisting conditions often accompany ADHD in women. Therefore, identifying and addressing these conditions is crucial for comprehensive care that ensures all your symptoms and needs are addressed.
For example, a woman with ADHD may strugglewith social anxietyevery time she has to go out and interact with people, e.g., social events or even work. If left unaddressed, this can cause a negative cycle of avoidance, potentially leading to isolation and symptom exacerbation.
Common Conditions in Women with ADHD
While this is not a definitive list, there are certain conditions that have a higher likelihood of coexisting in women with ADHD:
How to try and identify additional signs of other conditions
As a woman getting your ADHD evaluation, it is important to highlight any long-term and pervasive feelings of anxiety, worry, low mood, or lack of joy in doing things. This can help the assessor formulate and investigate other common conditions, as mentioned above.
Additionally, inform yourself about other common diagnosis that share symptoms with ADHD:
For example, impulsivity. Other people on the neurodiverse spectrum can also experience it, like individuals on the autism spectrum (Hlavatá, Kašpárek, Linhartová, Ošlejšková & Bareš, 2018).
Some mental health conditions, such as bipolar (Najt, 2007) or borderline personality disorder (Berlin, Rolls & Iversen, 2005), can also show impulsive tendencies.
If you are experiencing struggles with mood, it might be worth looking into Intermittent Explosive Disorder or IED (Gnanavel, Sharma, Kaushal & Hussain, 2019) and alexithymia.
Lastly, if you suspect any such coexisting conditions, do not neglect them, but reach out to a medical/mental health professional to help guide you.
Why it is helpful to identify these conditions
Patricia Quinn, in her paper titled “Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and its comorbidities in women and girls: An evolving picture” has shed light on the following findings:
“Girls with ADHD are 5.4 times more likely to be diagnosed with major depression and three times more likely to be treated for depression before their ADHD diagnosis.”
9. Focus on the things you love
Prioritizing activities aligned with your passions can be a powerful strategy for women with ADHD.
Engaging in activities that bring joy not only enhances well-being but also serves as a valuable outlet for managing ADHD symptoms.
For example, a woman who has a passion for gardening. Amidst the challenges of her daily life, dedicating time to cultivate a garden becomes a therapeutic escape. The act of nurturing plants, witnessing their growth, and connecting with nature provides a sense of accomplishment and peace.
Here are a few tips on how to get started:
10. Surround yourself with supportive people
Building a supportive network of friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect ADHD is essential for emotional well-being. For example, using online communities that center around women with ADHD can be a great way to meet peers and make new friends.
Choosing to be in the company of individuals who offer support, encouragement, and understanding can do wonders for your self-esteem. Research indicates that even from a young age, social support is key in children with ADHD (Mastoras, Saklofske, Schwean & Climie, 2018)
11. Adjust Medication During Menstrual Cycle
Research suggests that hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle can affect ADHD symptoms and medication effectiveness in women.
Women reported improved focus, energy levels, and emotional regulation with minimal side effects. This aligns with previous findings that women respond less strongly to psychostimulants during the luteal phase when estrogen levels are low.
Consider discussing cyclical symptom changes with your healthcare provider. Tracking your menstrual cycle and ADHD symptoms can help identify patterns.
Your doctor may recommend adjusting medication dosage premenstrually to maintain consistent symptom management throughout your cycle.
This personalized approach could significantly improve treatment outcomes for women with ADHD, addressing an often overlooked aspect of female-specific ADHD management.
12. Track PMS Symptoms and ADHD Interactions
For women with ADHD, hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle can significantly impact ADHD symptoms. Tracking both PMS and ADHD symptoms can provide valuable insights into how they interact and affect your daily functioning.
Why it’s important:
How to track:
You may notice that perhaps your distractibility and emotional dysregulation worsen in the week before your period, for instance.
By recognizing this pattern, you can work with your healthcare provider to adjust your ADHD management strategies during this time, such as increasing support systems, adjusting medication dosages, or implementing additional self-care practices.
By tracking these interactions, you can develop a more comprehensive and personalized approach to managing your ADHD symptoms throughout your menstrual cycle, leading to improved overall functioning and well-being.
FAQs:
How can a woman deal with a late diagnosis of ADHD?
Having a late diagnosis is unfortunately common for women with ADHD. Here are some strategies to help you deal with it:
How can a woman with ADHD manage her work life?
Managing ADHD in the workplace as a woman can be challenging. Here are a few practical tips to help:
How can a woman with ADHD manage relationships with others?
If you are a woman with ADHD and you are struggling to manage your relationships, there are a few things that you can do to cope better in this area.
Firstly, reflect on yourself and your own actions. Are you communicating your needs and/or challenges? If so, are they coming across clearly and as intended? Try writing your thoughts down to consolidate them, or speak to a trusted loved one or therapist.
Secondly, help educate people around you about ADHD and what that means for you. Try sharing information, useful resources, or personal experiences.
Thirdly, when scheduling some quality time, instead of waiting for others to make suggestions, feel free to take the reins and organize something suitable for your needs.
Lastly, consider counseling or speaking to a professional to help express your views and get support on managing ADHD and the specific relationships in question.
References
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Bueno, V. F., Kozasa, E. H., da Silva, M. A., Alves, T. M., Louzã, M. R., & Pompéia, S. (2015). Mindfulness meditation improves mood, quality of life, and attention in adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.BioMed Research International,2015.
de Jong, M., Wynchank, D. S. M. R., van Andel, E., Beekman, A. T. F., & Kooij, J. J. S. (2023). Female-specific pharmacotherapy in ADHD: premenstrual adjustment of psychostimulant dosage.Frontiers in psychiatry,14, 1306194.
Dorani, F., Bijlenga, D., Beekman, A. T., van Someren, E. J., & Kooij, J. S. (2021). Prevalence of hormone-related mood disorder symptoms in women with ADHD.Journal of psychiatric research,133, 10-15.
Edel, M. A., Rudel, A., Hubert, C., Scheele, D., Brüne, M., Juckel, G., & Assion, H. J. (2010). Alexithymia, emotion processing and social anxiety in adults with ADHD.European journal of medical research,15, 403-409.
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Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc
BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education
Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.
Saul McLeod, PhD
BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester
Saul McLeod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.
Ioanna StavrakiCommunity Wellbeing Professional, EducatorBSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc, Neuropsychology, MBPsSIoanna Stavraki is a healthcare professional leading NHS Berkshire’s Wellbeing Network Team and serving as a Teaching Assistant at The University of Malawi for the “Organisation Psychology” MSc course. With previous experience at Frontiers' “Computational Neuroscience” journal and startup “Advances in Clinical Medical Research,” she contributes significantly to neuroscience and psychology research. Early career experience with Alzheimer’s patients and published works, including an upcoming IET book chapter, underscore her dedication to advancing healthcare and neuroscience understanding.
Ioanna StavrakiCommunity Wellbeing Professional, EducatorBSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc, Neuropsychology, MBPsS
Ioanna Stavraki
Community Wellbeing Professional, Educator
BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc, Neuropsychology, MBPsS
Ioanna Stavraki is a healthcare professional leading NHS Berkshire’s Wellbeing Network Team and serving as a Teaching Assistant at The University of Malawi for the “Organisation Psychology” MSc course. With previous experience at Frontiers' “Computational Neuroscience” journal and startup “Advances in Clinical Medical Research,” she contributes significantly to neuroscience and psychology research. Early career experience with Alzheimer’s patients and published works, including an upcoming IET book chapter, underscore her dedication to advancing healthcare and neuroscience understanding.
