Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy It HappensKeep Conversation FlowingFind the HumorOvercome AwkwardnessListen and ParaphraseAsk a QuestionChange the TopicBe AssertiveKeep QuietDeal With Awkward TopicsChoose KindnessExit Awkward ConversationsBe UnderstandingManage Your Own Social AnxietyExplain Awkward EndingsHelp Solve ProblemsEnd With a SummaryFrequently Asked Questions

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Why It Happens

Keep Conversation Flowing

Find the Humor

Overcome Awkwardness

Listen and Paraphrase

Ask a Question

Change the Topic

Be Assertive

Keep Quiet

Deal With Awkward Topics

Choose Kindness

Exit Awkward Conversations

Be Understanding

Manage Your Own Social Anxiety

Explain Awkward Endings

Help Solve Problems

End With a Summary

Frequently Asked Questions

Close

Try these tips for getting through your next awkward conversation.

Understanding Awkward Conversations

If the other person has just said something surprising, it’s okay to reply with, “I am thinking about what you said,” to give yourself time to process the information.

Keep Awkward Conversations Flowing

There is a reason why long silences can make you feel uncomfortable. A 2010 study from the University of Groningen in the Netherlands published in theJournal of Experimental Social Psychology Researchshowed that fluent conversations lead to feelings of self-esteem, social validation, and belonging to a group.

Do as much as you can to keep the conversation going, and both you and your conversation partner will feel more at ease. A good conversation is more about making music together than finding the perfect thing to say.

How to Keep a Conversation Going: Strategies That Actually Work

Find Humor in Awkward Conversations

Overcome Awkwardness With Compromise

Sometimes conversations are awkward because of disagreements. In these situations, always try to find a compromise. Practice empathy toward the other person, and try to understand how he or she views the situation differently than you. Doing so may allow you to accept the other person’s viewpoint without having to change your own.

If you don’t know what to say in a conversation, try simply reflecting back what you hear from the other person. If a new friend at school is upset about a poor grade on an assignment, say something like “It sounds like you are really upset about your grade on that project.”

Often people simply want to know that their feelings are acknowledged rather than be offered solutions to their problems. Doing so also relieves you of the pressure of trying to think of what to say next.

Perhaps you are in a conversation that is awkward because you really don’t know anything about the other person. In these situations, it’s best toask questionsto try and find mutual interests that can turn into conversations.

If you know that you will be in a situation where you will betalking to strangers, try to plan at least three open-ended “go-to” questions (that start with “how” or “what”) that you can use if you get into an awkward conversation. Don’t struggle too hard with these either.

At a Loss for Words?Something simple like, “So, what’s keeping you busy these days?” will suffice.

At a Loss for Words?

Something simple like, “So, what’s keeping you busy these days?” will suffice.

Ask questions to dig deeper into a topic that was discussed earlier in a conversation, to clarify misunderstandings, and to show that you are listening to the other person. Just be careful not to ask too many questions in a row, or you may come across as an interrogator.

Change the Topic in Awkward Conversations

New discussion topics are perfect for lulls in conversation. Have a few of these ready to bring out the next time you sense nobody else has anything to say. Some examples of topics include popular television shows, something that you all have in common (such as an upcoming test at school), and current events.

Be sure that the topic you introduce is something that will appeal to your conversation partners.

New topics are also perfect forsmall talkwith strangers. Even mundane things such as the weather can be good places to start. You might even consider doing some detective work to find out who you will meet and prepare some questions tailored to their interests. Offering a genuine compliment (about a clothing item or hairstyle, for example) is also a fine way to talk about something new.

Learn to Give Compliments With Social Anxiety

Be Assertive in Awkward Conversations

If you find yourself the target of a difficult person, steer the conversation away toward a new topic and a new individual. Be careful not to keep uncomfortable feelings to yourself—or you may risk ending up resentful and bitter in the long run.

5 Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Not all situations call for conversation. While it is true that fluent talk among friends builds camaraderie, if you find yourself in public settings with strangers, talking isn’t always necessary.

Your seatmate on the bus or plane might not be interested in making small talk the whole trip—and that’s perfectly fine. If the other person gives a lot of one-word responses, folds his or her arms, or leans away, those are signals that he or she may prefer just to stay quiet.

If someone interjects an awkward comment in the middle of an ongoing conversation, consider pausing for a brief silence, and then continuing the original line of discussion, rather than addressing what was said (also known as “saving face” for the person who made the misstep).

Other ways to handle awkward topics are to remain silent or be upfront that you are feeling uncomfortable.

Say something like, “I’m not really one for gossip, it makes me feel a bit uneasy because I wouldn’t want others talking about me like that. Could we talk about something else?” Awkward topics can sometimes even be what is left unsaid.

If someone isgrieving a lossor there is a family dispute, it may form an undercurrent and create awkwardness in a conversation. Often the best way to handle these situations is to get it out in the open—in a kind and compassionate way.

Say something like, “I am so sorry for your loss. You must be having a hard time right now.” However, if emotions are still very strong (such as in a family dispute) it might be best not to spend too much time acknowledging the issue, or you risk opening up old problems.

Awkward topics can also include those where you have something to ask or a troublesome topic that you need to discuss.

Exit Awkward Conversations Gracefully

If there really is nothing else left to say, or you have some other reason for wanting toleave a conversation, be prepared and plan to do it gracefully. Always thank the other person for taking the time to talk. If someone is monopolizing your time and won’t let you end the conversation, use an excuse such as needing to get another drink, as a reason for exiting.

Not everyone is a social butterfly who loves making conversation. Some people may live withshynessor social anxiety and take longer to warm up in new situations and with new people. If someone feels nervous around you because she doesn’t know you, be kind and understanding.

The awkwardness may have nothing to do with you. If the other person lives with social anxiety disorder, it may be fear or panic that is causing the awkwardness between you.

If conversations are awkward because of your own shyness or social anxiety, do what you can to manage these feelings. Practice social skills, read self-help books about overcoming shyness and social anxiety, and see a therapist if your anxiety is severe and interfering with your life. You owe it to yourself and your future conversation partners to manage your feelings.

Things to Do If You Have Social Anxiety Disorder

Sometimes conversations get cut short. Rather than ignore that a conversation ended awkwardly, apologize or acknowledge the situation the next time you talk with that particular person. Explain why you had to leave and how it was not personal.

For those with social anxiety, explaining that sometimes social situations can be overwhelming can be helpful in putting the other person at ease.

Help someone solve a problem and the awkwardness between you will easily dissolve. Asking a friend for advice is another great way to keep conversations interesting and flowing. Talking about problems and solutions can take a long time—and give you something to check up on the next time you see someone.

Effective Problem-Solving Strategies

It’s important to end conversations with a summary and a future plan. For example, you might say something like, “It was great talking about all the marathons you’ve participated in. Perhaps next time we are together we can plan for when I start training myself.” This structured type of ending to a conversation helps to bring things to a natural close but also leads to future discussions.

Keep in Mind

Not every awkward conversation is a bad one—many can be salvaged with a bit of effort. By putting the above tips into practice, you will become more adept at being that person who always knows the right thing to say to make others feel better in your presence.

Frequently Asked QuestionsAwkward conversations happen to everyone once in a while. Meeting new people can be nerve-wracking at times, and it can seem particularly daunting in unfamiliar situations or settings. Fortunately, you can build social skills to help you to move past the awkwardness and navigate conversations gracefully.Some examples of awkward situations include forgetting someone’s name, going on a blind date, admitting a mistake, helping someone coping with a difficult situation, confronting someone about a problem, and having conversations with people who make you feel uncomfortable.Each of these awkward situations is different, so how you cope with each one can vary. Honing your conversation skills, learning how to offer empathetic support, and developing assertiveness skills are a few strategies that can help you manage these awkward situations.There are a number of techniques that can help you carry on during an awkward conversation. Making a humorous comment can help lighten the mood while exploring some different small-talk conversation starters can also help.Talking about the weather or asking where a person is from are some good examples. If nothing else, focus on listening attentively to the other person and asking open-ended questions that will help move the conversation forward with a little less awkwardness.

Awkward conversations happen to everyone once in a while. Meeting new people can be nerve-wracking at times, and it can seem particularly daunting in unfamiliar situations or settings. Fortunately, you can build social skills to help you to move past the awkwardness and navigate conversations gracefully.

Some examples of awkward situations include forgetting someone’s name, going on a blind date, admitting a mistake, helping someone coping with a difficult situation, confronting someone about a problem, and having conversations with people who make you feel uncomfortable.Each of these awkward situations is different, so how you cope with each one can vary. Honing your conversation skills, learning how to offer empathetic support, and developing assertiveness skills are a few strategies that can help you manage these awkward situations.

Some examples of awkward situations include forgetting someone’s name, going on a blind date, admitting a mistake, helping someone coping with a difficult situation, confronting someone about a problem, and having conversations with people who make you feel uncomfortable.

Each of these awkward situations is different, so how you cope with each one can vary. Honing your conversation skills, learning how to offer empathetic support, and developing assertiveness skills are a few strategies that can help you manage these awkward situations.

There are a number of techniques that can help you carry on during an awkward conversation. Making a humorous comment can help lighten the mood while exploring some different small-talk conversation starters can also help.Talking about the weather or asking where a person is from are some good examples. If nothing else, focus on listening attentively to the other person and asking open-ended questions that will help move the conversation forward with a little less awkwardness.

There are a number of techniques that can help you carry on during an awkward conversation. Making a humorous comment can help lighten the mood while exploring some different small-talk conversation starters can also help.

Talking about the weather or asking where a person is from are some good examples. If nothing else, focus on listening attentively to the other person and asking open-ended questions that will help move the conversation forward with a little less awkwardness.

Social Media and Social Anxiety Disorder

1 SourceVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Koudenburg N, Postmes T, Gordijn EH.Beyond Content of Conversation.Pers Soc Psychol Rev.2017;21(1):50-71. doi:10.1177/1088868315626022Additional ReadingCindy Bigbie.How to handle awkward conversations?Psych Central.9 steps to better communication todayPsychology Today.A menu of options for making small talk.Social Anxiety Institute.What is social anxiety?Teens Health.5 ways to shake shyness.

1 Source

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Koudenburg N, Postmes T, Gordijn EH.Beyond Content of Conversation.Pers Soc Psychol Rev.2017;21(1):50-71. doi:10.1177/1088868315626022Additional ReadingCindy Bigbie.How to handle awkward conversations?Psych Central.9 steps to better communication todayPsychology Today.A menu of options for making small talk.Social Anxiety Institute.What is social anxiety?Teens Health.5 ways to shake shyness.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Koudenburg N, Postmes T, Gordijn EH.Beyond Content of Conversation.Pers Soc Psychol Rev.2017;21(1):50-71. doi:10.1177/1088868315626022

Cindy Bigbie.How to handle awkward conversations?Psych Central.9 steps to better communication todayPsychology Today.A menu of options for making small talk.Social Anxiety Institute.What is social anxiety?Teens Health.5 ways to shake shyness.

Cindy Bigbie.How to handle awkward conversations?

Psych Central.9 steps to better communication today

Psychology Today.A menu of options for making small talk.

Social Anxiety Institute.What is social anxiety?

Teens Health.5 ways to shake shyness.

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